145: No Big Woop!
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As they walk, Misty looks down the hill their path runs over and spots a cute looking house which she calls the others attention to.
Too small to be a house and too brightly coloured to be the home of a crazed hermit, the kids are at a bit of a loss to understand what it's purpose is. Ash turns to Brock for an explanation, as he always does and Brock - being a man - hmms and haws rather than admitting that he doesn't know.
As they talk, a small dark shadow scampers up the side of a tree behind them and then leaps down onto Brocks neck just as he's getting to the fact that he has no idea what the house is for.
"AHHHHHH!" cries Brock, "Something cold and wet just landed on my neck! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!"
This embarrassingly girly display leads him to pinwheel wildly to the side of the incline, where he goes skidding down the side of the hill as a shocked Ash and Misty look on.
Just outside the cute little house, a young lady is asking her class if they're ready for their next lesson when Brock's screaming alerts her to his presence. Turning around, she sees him crash head first into the ground.
She rushes to his side, where a cute looking blob of blue pokes it head up from his neck, it's squinted eyes giving it a Brock-like appearance.
"Wooper!" it says, as beneath it Brock grits his teeth and squints his eyes (hey hang on, he always squints his eyes!). The young lady scoops her Wooper up (HAHAHAHA!) and asks Brock if he's all right, telling him that this particular Wooper has a tendency to get into mischief and cause trouble.
Brock assures her that he's all right, then actually looks up into her face, his breath catching in his throat as she tells him how relieved she is that he's okay.
Leaping up as gracefully as he can manage under the circumstances, the perpetually horny teen grips her hand in his own, telling her, "I'm Brock and this is exactly the kind of trouble.... I just love to get into!" The girl looks at him, confused, as he stares deep into her eyes and the background goes over all pink and lens-flared and smoky.
"It's so nice to meet you Brock," she replies, confused but polite.
"I feel our meeting was destined to happen," whispers Brock softly to her, "And your Wooper is the Cupid that brought us together!"
He then leans forward in the hope of getting a kiss or at least copping a cheap feel, but she leans backward in a panic, sweat-drop forming on the side of her head. "Don't you feel exactly that way too, Alicia?" "Nuh.... not really," replies Alicia, perhaps a little more worried now since she never actually told him her name. Luckily, Brock's psychic abilities are powerless against Misty, who comes to the rescue and tugs him away by the ear. Ash apologises to Alicia for Brock, who apparently can get a little weird sometimes, and falling off a cliff doesn't help. Alicia brushes it off and Misty rejoins them, asking what the deal is with the building.
Alicia explains that as a child she used to babysit Wooper, and when she grew older she discovered a small pond (which The Wooper which jumped on Brock is now swimming in) in the forest and decided to build a Preschool especially for Wooper.
All of The Wooper have now joined the mischievous one in the pool, and Mr. Mischief can be told apart from the others by the small blue heart on it's chest.
Misty goes over all girly and gushes about how cute they are while Ash shows a more scientific interest by whipping out his Pokedex to get a reading on Wooper.
"Wooper," Dexter informs them,"The Water-Fish, Pokemon, though they prefer, to live in cold water, these appealing, Pokemon, forage for food, on land. They are, kept warm, by a layer of, insulating, body fluid. Wooper is, the pre-evolved form of, Quagsire."
AHHHHH! This explains it then! We were wondering how this young lady who had to babysit as a child to make money could suddenly afford to build a preschool for Wooper.
It all makes sense you see, Quagsire are incredibly expensive Pokemon used to gauge the quality of a towns water supply and we all ready know of at least one community of rich fat-cats who have corrupted the easily corruptible Officer Jenny into protecting (with lethal force if need be) their Quagsire.
So Alicia is basically a breeder for one or more groups of these fat-cats, looking after Wooper and teaching them to love humans so that when they evolve into Quagsire they will have no reservations about remaining trapped in one river or pond for the rest of their lives as a comforting quality marker and status symbol for bored, rich capitalists.
Shocking, shameful stuff.
All this is waaaaay over Ash's head though, and he just has a flash of a memory of a Quagsire stealing The GS Ball.
"I can't explain it, but The Wooper just give me a good feeling!"
Alicia tells us, which is an incredibly dodgy line and should open up an inquiry by Officer Jenny into possible abuse!
Misty asks Alicia to show her how she trains The Wooper and the young lady is more than happy to do so. As Misty holds out Togepi to show it The Wooper, Alicia whips out a tambourine and begins playing it, getting an instantaneous reaction from The Wooper.
Yes, like Pavlov and his dogs, Alicia has trained her Wooper to act in a preset way to the sound and beat of a tambourine. What follows is a cruel abuse of nature, as The Wooper are forced to put on happy smiles and do a song and dance number for an obliviously happy Misty and Ash.
We can understand Misty acting all girly and happy around cute little Pokemon, but Ash's reaction is strange. It is most likely that his limited intellect almost instantly fell into the hypnotic beat of Alicia's Tambourine and he's also fallen under her spell.
He gushes about how The Wooper look, sound and act cute, and Brock couldn't agree more.
"I agree, very cute," the squinty eyed Breeder says, his eyes locked firmly on Alicia as he kneels at her feet.
As Alicia shows off her social conditioning, we find a trio of more world-wise individuals scrounging around in the forest. Jesse has just discovered a large mushroom growing beneath a tree and she scoops it up eagerly, her flat, sexy belly demanding food.
James and Meowth pop their heads up from behind a bush (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!) when they hear she's found food but Jesse, coming from a poor family, snaps angrily at James' suggestion that they split it three ways, telling him that she found it, so she's going to eat it.
"I wouldn't do dat if I were you," warns Meowth.
"Why not?" growls a possessive Jesse, and Meowth points out that it's a Poison Mushroom.
Damn, we were hoping it was a magic one and we were going to see some psychedelic Team Rocket! Jesse stares at the mushroom in disbelief, then tosses it away with a sob and collapsed to all fours, burying her head into the ground and lifting her ass up high (Dodgemaster Tim notes the most incredible things, doesn't he!) as she bursts into tears, moaning that she's tired of scrounging around for food like a dirty Diglett.
James tells her he knows how she feels and that he's starving too, then suddenly brightens up, clapping his hands together as he suggests that they call The Boss and ask him to send them some spending money.
Meowth reminds them that they all ready spent the spending money he sent them earlier, and in return they haven't caught him even one Pokemon, so calling him now might not be the best idea.
Jesse quits sobbing and lifts her face back up, determining that they have to start looking for a Rare Pokemon, since surely there must be one around here somewhere.
It's at this point that a patiently pleased Wobuffet pops out to let everyone know his feelings on the subject.
"Wobbbb wobba wobba wobbbb!"
"How many times do I have to tell you, don't come out unless I choose you," sniffs Jesse, pulling Wobuffet back into his Poke-Ball before standing and setting off with the others.
And thus Team Rocket are trapped in the vicious cycle of poverty and crime, forced to hunt out a Rare Pokemon for The Boss or, more importantly, some food for themselves.
As Team Rocket scrounge for scraps, we find Alicia, Ash, Misty and Brock gorging themselves on cookies and tea.
Apparently The Wooper have all ready had their snack, but since Alicia has food coming out of her eyeballs she doesn't mind throwing a little their way too.
The twerps eagerly thank her before chowing down on the small cookies and drinking the tea she's poured for them (or would Americans prefer hot Coca Cola?).
The cookies are delicious and the kids don't mind telling her so, and Alicia thanks them kindly as The Wooper watch from the pool, their small squinted eyes boring holes into the delicious food. Perhaps they didn't get their snack earlier after all? Perhaps Alicia keeps them on strict feeding times to reinforce human authority?
Oh what a tangled web she weaves!
But again, what does Ash and Co. care, they've scrounged some free food out of the deal!
Suddenly Alicias phone rings in a deadly breach of protocol, and she answers it right there in front of the kids as they eat.... and she's wearing shoes as well! Oh the shame of it all!
She becomes shocked and panicked as she talks to the person on the other end, then hangs up before turning a worried look on Ash, Misty and Brock.
Apparently, her mother fell down the stairs and broke her leg (HAHAHAHAH!) and despite her adamant proclamation that everything is all right, Alicia is sure her mother is lying so that she won't worry about her.
Now Alicia faces a moral quandary, does she go make sure her mother is all right or remain to look after the stolen children of a generation of Quagsires, thus serving her rich, elitist masters?
The answer is Brock, who grabs her hands and roars dramatically that she must go see his mother, and he and the others will remain to look after The Wooper.
Ash and Misty seem to be all right with this, despite Brock volunteering them without their permission. Alicia is unsure, but after the twerps argue that she has to go look after her mother she agrees to leave her Wooper alone with these three complete strangers she met only ten minutes ago.
She gives Brock a Wooper Handbook which evidently explains how to run the sociological conditioning on the poor little Pokemon, then hops onto her Vespa (HAHAHAHAHA!) and pulls her big bowl helmet on (HAHAHAHA! Safety is for geeks!) before taking off.
It's at this point that Misty speaks up, asking Brock if it's going to be difficult to look after these Pokemon?
Brock and Ash dismiss her concern with typical male bravado, insisting that it can't be too difficult and besides, they've got Alicia's Notebook.
Which proves to be kind of useless when they discover the pond to be completely empty and every Wooper gone.
Brock's world collapses and he turns to stone (literally!) before collapsing to the ground as Ash and Misty peer into the water, hoping that The Wooper just might... reappear or something.
Misty yells at Brock to quit laying around like a statue as Pikachu points out a slimy trail of water leading out of the pond, a clue which revitalises Brock and sets him on the hunt, following the trail all the way back to the open door of the preschool.
Ash and Misty give chase as he pushes open the door and finds.... REVOLUTION!
With their cruel taskmaster gone, The Wooper are running amok, tearing into the food supplies, pushing open cupboards, running around on tables, creating a menace as they revel in freedom.
FREEDOM!
"I guess they were hungry," says Ash, stating the obvious although, to him, this is a brilliant deduction.
Brock begins leafing through Alicia's book to try and find a way to make The Wooper behave, and discovers that pretending affection and offering food will usually do the trick.
"IN THAT CASE!" screams Brock, sliding backwards dramatically as he holds a brown paper bag to his bosom with one arm and holds up a brown biscuit with the other, "I'll show them Brock's Super-delicious, Super-Nutritious, incredible edible Pokemon Pellets!"
The Wooper begin approaching him as he baits them with his biscuits, telling them dodgily that he has some sweet little treats that he knows they going to like.
Alicia's Wooper sniffs the Pokemon Pellet then begins licking Brocks face, which he takes completely the wrong way, saying, "HAHAHA! see guys, I knew I could get control of them this way!"
Unfortunately for Brock, Wooper was just tasting him to see if he was suitable for their desires, and suddenly all of them are all over him, burying him beneath a pile of wriggling, jiggling, drunk-on-freedom Wooper-flesh.
Ash and Misty watch with matching sweat-drops as Brock struggles for a different kind of freedom, eventually pulling free and clearing out with Ash and Misty.
As Ash pretends he can read Alicia's book, we see Brock panting and struggling for breath, his face and body covered in a strange white gunk and...... and......
EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
"For a minute there I thought The Wooper were getting ready to eat you, Brock," Misty says, creating a rolling wave of dodginess that spreads mirth throughout the world.
"A few seconds more and that could have turned ugly," says Brock, the only one of the three that knows what really went down inside of that pile.
Ash speaks up, telling them that Alicia's book says Wooper are more easily controlled (OH HOW IMMORAL SHE IS!) when commands are accompanied by a tambourine.
Of course, he garnered this from the accompanying diagrams, rather from any ability to actually read.
Misty gets all excited at this news, as apparently the tambourine is her favourite musical instrument (and ties with the triangle for lamest instrument given to the talentless kid in band) and as a small girl she used to play one every day.
This is accompanied by a flash-back of a cute little toddler Misty happily banging her Tambourine.
Scooping up Alicia's Tambourine, she begins banging it, softly singing Jingle, Jangle, Jingle Jangle as she gets her groove going.
Unfortunately The Wooper are less appreciative of her talents than she is, and they use the odd twig-like protuberances coming out of the side of their heads to block each other's ears.
Togepi roars with laughter at Misty's ineptitude as she drops the tambourine to the ground in despair. Being a master of manipulation, mind control and conditioning itself, the Freaky Little Egg Thingy picks up the Tambourine and begins playing it, reaching out with it's mind and taking control of each and every Wooper, leading them out of the preschool to the pond outside, where each one jumps in and gets into formation, moving as one under Togepi's evil command.
Misty is more than a little depressed over Togepi seemingly outplaying her, but Brock suggests that being a Pokemon, Togepi probably has a greater sense of Pokemon Rhythm.
Yeah, that or it's got freakishly evil mind control powers and took great delight in taking control of those poor little Woopers of Alicia's.
The twerps relief is short-lived, however, when they realise that not all of The Woopers fell under Togepi's dark control, that one held out and kept it's individuality.... and that missing Pokemon is Alicia's favourite!
Brock goes over all stony again, collapsing into a statue of the feotal position. Misty yells at him not to fall into pieces everytime something happens and he gets back up, lifting the tambourine up and gently shaking it, moaning, "Woop, woop, woop, woop!" over and over as The Wooper in the pond rock back and forth.
Seeing that he's useless, Ash tells Brock to remain behind and look after all the other Wooper as they attempt to find Alicia's. They charge back into the Preschool and look about the class-room until they hear a loud crash coming from the kitchen. Charging in, they find to their relief Wooper sitting in the sink with the dishes, looking altogether pleased with itself for escaping Togepi's mental domination.
The two Love-Boids whisper to Wooper to stay still, so of course it leaps away from the sink onto a window-sill, where Ash tries to catch it and nearly ends up destroying a pot-plant.
Wooper leaps onto tall stacks of cleaned dishes and then off again, leaving Misty to try and steady the toppling stacks as Ash dives forward to catch the plates that did drop.
He calls for Pikachu to get after the escaping Wooper, but it covers it's trail well, diving across a basket filled with knives and forks that nearly impale our poor little Pokemon, who catches the basket on his head then weaves about in true French Farce style.
It takes off outside and Ash and Misty give chase, finding it all ready three quarters off the way up the cliff-side leading to the path they were on earlier.
"How did it get all the way up there?" asks Misty, making a valid point.
"Let's figure that out later, okay" snips Ash, covering up for bad writing and continuity as he takes off.
"You don't have to be so snippy!" growls Misty angrily, following after him.
Back by the pond Brock continues to shake the tambourine, his body and mind devastated by a combination of losing his greatest love's favourite Pokemon and Togepi's presence.
Back at the cliffside, Ash, Misty and Pikachu have nearly caught up with Wooper, which is waiting at the top of the cliff for them. Misty suddenly loses her grip and slides back down the cliff, so Ash turns and offers these touching words of concern and help.
"Hang on."
"I. am. hanging. on," growls Misty angrily, clawing her way back up. All three look up at the waiting Wooper, who WOOP'S happily at them.
This time however, it's cuteness is greeted by cold stares from Ash, Misty and Pikachu.
"I don't think that Wooper is so cute anymore," growls Misty, and they continue on up. Reaching the top, they set off after Wooper who leads them a merry chase, coming across a conveniently old and crumbling rope bridge.
Wooper bounces across the decaying old bridge easily enough and a clueless Ash zooms after him before being called back by Misty. He stops and suddenly looks down, realising how high up he is and how shitty the bridge is.
Slowly all three begin crossing the bridge as a curious Wooper looks on from the other side. Pikachu gently tests each board before taking a step while Misty and Ash pull themselves along by the ropes nervously. Ash places his hand down on a board to steady himself and it cracks beneath him, dropping to the river far below as Misty warns him that the bridge could collapse at any minute.
"I COULD collapse at any second," gasps Ash.
Misty calls for Wooper to come back, telling it that they can go back to the pond, mistakenly believing that Wooper would like to return to that cooped up, crowded laboratory and it's heartless social engineer, Alicia.
Wooper has learned well about masking it's emotions though, and it pretends great pleasure at this concept. It runs back across the bridge towards Misty who goes over all big-eyed, thinking that it's obeying her. Reaching the boards she and Ash are standing on though, it dances a mad jig of destruction over the bridge, bringing it closer to the brink of collapse before turning and running.
Ash calls for Pikachu to stop Wooper, but it easily evades the rodent's grasp by jumping up onto the rope and running across it as Misty warns it that it will fall. It makes it safely across to the other side though as the ropes begin to tear and the boards begin to creak, and the Love-Boids realise they have to make a break for it now.
Pikachu charges over the boards to the other side and Ash and Misty nearly make it back, until they hear the bridge snap and decide to stop and turn to watch it happen.
Both halves crash to either side of the cliffs, leaving Ash and Misty hanging on for dear life to the remnants of their half of the bridge.
Pikachu looks down nervously as Ash stupidly tells Misty not to let go, then looks up at tells Pikachu that they'll be all right, but it has to get after Wooper and catch it.
The French Rat turns and runs, leaving behind Ash and Misty to struggle their way up the side of the cliff.
Meanwhile Meowth is hungrily waiting for Jesse and James to return from their foraging. He's boiling up some water for some mushroom soup, but as he says, it won't be too tasty if there is no mushrooms to go in it!
He's also aware that there is a good chance Jesse and James will more than likely bring back poisonous mushrooms anyway, so he's not holding out much hope of getting a good meal today.... until he looks over at the bushes and mistakes Wooper's back for a giant mushroom!
He leaps high in the air, his Happy Buddha Face set firmly in place until her wraps his arms around the mushroom and it slips high into the air.
As he lays there, trying to figure out what the hell just happened, Jesse and James return with a basket full of mushroom and ask him what he's doing draped over the bushes like that.
Meowth explains that he just saw a giant mushroom and they get all excited, as they'd been ready to have a meagre meal of weak mushroom soup and now a veritable feast is waiting.
They put down the basket of mushrooms and begin searching with Meowth for the giant mushroom, as behind them Wooper stumbles across the basket of mushrooms and happily eats them all up.
Too hungry to look any further, Team Rocket return to their pot of boiling water and discover to their shock that all of the mushrooms are gone!
Luckily for them the giant mushroom appears to have returned, as they spot Wooper sitting with it's back to them. They approach it and it turns around to grin at them, their last mushroom sitting in it's mouth.
"That's not a mushroom, that's just a Wooper," complains James, who was a child of wealth and thus is familiar with Woopers and Quagsire both.
Jesse becomes furious as she watches it happily eat the last of her hard scrounged mushrooms, and she steps forward, fully intending to strangle it until it smiles at her and it's eyes grow big.
Something strange happens to Jesse, something is tugging at her heart and making her lips twitch, and then she gives up and just smiles, telling James she can't stay angry with such a cute little Pokemon.
James - who has no compunctions over going over all girly - has all ready surrendered to his feelings and is just sitting with his chin in his hands, staring happily at Wooper. They all gush over how cute and sweet and innocent Wooper is.
"He reminds me of me," sighs Meowth.
Jesse suddenly hits upon a great idea, figuring that they can catch Wooper and give it to the Boss.
"A Wooper is just the kind of Pokemon The Boss needs!" says James excitedly, figuring that such a cute little Wooper would melt the iron heart of even their Boss, and then he'd forgive them.
Meowth is even more hopeful, guessing that The Boss might forgive their debts and even give them a bonus!
Jesse tosses out a spare Poke-Ball which flies through the air and.... bounces off of Woopers head, which stares down at the Poke-Ball with a curious, happy look on it's face.
"What's the matter Wooper?" asks Jesse, staring down at the Wooper, "Don't you want to get into the snug little Poke-Ball?"
Before Wooper can respond Pikachu arrives on the scene, charging in front of Wooper and throwing it's chubby little arms wide to protect it from Team Rocket.
"Pikachu, do you know this Wooper?" asks Jesse.
"PIKA!" nods Pikachu.
"Then maybe you'll use your influence to convince it to get into my Poke-Ball?" asks Jesse sweetly.
Pikachu shakes it's head roughly, but instead of getting angry Jesse just gets down to her knees and offers Pikachu some of the delicious acorns that she's collected.
Pikachu refuses, but then James throws in his acorns (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!) and Meowth adds in his own. Suddenly Pikachu is sweating and yes, YES! The little French Bastard is actually considering giving up Wooper! HOORAH!
Before it can give into temptation though, Ash and Misty arrive on the scene and demand Team Rocket let Wooper go, telling them that it belongs to someone else so they might as well give it up.
But Team Rocket are hungry and desperate, and they aren't going to give up Wooper without a fight. James and Meowth whip out some nets (don't ask where they were keeping them) and try to catch Wooper, which easily slides out of their grip. Ash, Misty and Pikachu also try to get hold of Wooper but it's all a game to the drunk-on-freedom Pokemon and it simply bounces about above their grasping hands while an infuriated Jesse looks on.
Finally she's had enough and she calls out Wobuffet, which stands patiently pleased beside her, crying out, "WOBBBBAAAAA!"
She demands that it attack the twerps, but Wobuffet simply stands still until Jesse remembers that it can only Counter-Attack, she says as much and Wobuffet agrees, telling her, "WOBBBBBBBBB!"
Returning it to it's Pokeball, Jesse calls out Arbok to deal to the kids, which it does in admirable fashion by collapsing in the middle of the fracas, giving James time to call out the abomination that is Weezing to use it's Smoke-Screen Attack.
The ensuing confusion allows Team Rocket to grab Wooper into their net and leap into the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, which floats up above the smoke as Jesse cries, "Wooper-De-Doo!"
Suddenly, without explanation, Alicia returns on her Vespa with Brock behind her, both wearing those big circular helmets (HA! THEY BE GEEKS!), Brock clutching Alicia around the waist as she yells at Team Rocket that they just can't steal other people's Pokemon.
"Prepare for trouble, we steal all the time!" laughs Jesse.
"W
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"
"Meowth that's right!"
The balloon, Arbok and Weezing all fade back into sight as Brock, without offering an explanation for Alicia's return, suggests they use their Pokemon to get Wooper back.
But Alicia has a better idea, knowing that despite this Wooper's rebellious streak her own conditioning has made it her bitch. She calls out the code-name Playtime's Over to get it's attention, and it leaps free from the net and falls back down to the ground below. A shocked Team Rocket send Arbok and Weezing after it and Ash thinks Wooper is in big trouble, but Alicia knows better, since part of her funding obviously comes from the military as well and this Wooper has been trained to be a deadly soldier.
It smacks both Arbok and Weezing around with it's tail, then bounces Weezing like a basketball with it's Slam Attack before grabbing Arbok by the tail and using that old cartoon stand-by - The Bam-Bam Slam - to put Arbok in a daze.
Then it twists the giant snake about before letting it go, sending it flying through the air and crashing into Weezing, sending both crashing into the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon and sending a hungry Team Rocket Blasting Off Again!
Back at the Preschool Togepi is continuing to make The Wooper dance for it's amusement, but it's fun is interrupted when Misty returns and scoops it up into her arms.
Ash tells Alicia how glad he is that her mother is out of her cast and walking about again, proving just how stupid he is.
One - Alicia had to drive her VESPA to the next town, which would take at least an hour one way. She was back within an hour, so she can't have possibly gone that far.
Two - A broken leg remains in a cast for at least six weeks, before being replaced with a walking cast for two or three weeks before it fully comes off and the patient begins walking again.
Three - She's a big dirty liar!
Alicia apologises for the bad time they had looking after The Wooper but the kids lie and say they enjoyed it, as anyone who spend an hour getting mauled by a pile of Wet Wooper, chased them up a cliff, over a rope bridge, up another cliff-side, then got into a battle with some hungry 'villains' would have.
Brock asks Alicia for her secrets on raising Wooper but she tells him there is no secret (in fact if she even admits there is a secret her superiors will arrange an accident for her) it's just that Wooper are so small that no one expects such power from them.
With this lie forced down their throat, Brock grabs her by the hands and tells her he'd like to stay with her so they can both learn more about Pokemon and maybe, maybe, learn a little more about each other!
"You have a lot to learn, but not about her!" growls Misty, pulling him away by the ear jealously and leaving Ash behind with Alicia.
"Hey wait up guys!" cries Ash, chasing after Brock and Misty as Alicia calls goodbye, her broken-willed Wooper watching them go with false smiles plastered on their desperate faces, their ring-leader held firmly in Alicia's cruel hands, it's tail rubbing back and forth over her crotch.
Make of that, what you will.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "This is a job for Brock, the Super Breeder!"
 "This mushroom soup ain't gonna have no flovour without any mushrooms"
 "A wooper is exactly what the boss needs!"
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