135: The Super-Hero Secret
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A loud, shrieking cry permeates the forest, sending a chill through the hearts of all who hear it... except for Ash, who isn't quite intelligent enough to actually know when he's scared.
"Probably a Hoot-Hoot or something," he grumbles to Misty when she asks in a quavering voice just what that was. Given that Hoot-Hoot only come out at night and that they make a soft 'hoot-hoot' noise as opposed to a hellish shriek of inhuman fury, coupled with the fact that Ash is unbelievably stupid, we find it a little difficult to be comforted by his assurances.
Looking overhead, the twerps spy a flashing silhouette zip by at an incredible speed, flying over the path from one tree into another and disappearing again as if it had never been there at all.
"That was no Hoot-Hoot!" proclaims Brock dramatically, "That was a Glyger!"
Well, that may be well and chilling for those of us who travel backwards through time and know just what the hell a Glyger is, but for those poor souls who follow a linear time-stream... or are just incredibly, unbelievably, almost Middle-American stupid, they need a little help.
Enter : Dexter.
"Glyger," explains Dexter, "The Fly Scorpio Pokemon. Glyger uses, the cape-like wings, on it's back to, glide from tree, to tree, quickly and, quietly."
"Dexter forgot to mention scarily," mumbles Misty.
Brock explains that Glyger tend to be temperamental and don't like humans much, which is just fine and dandy by the remarkably stupid Ash.
"Glyger might not like humans, but it'll like me!" he laughs, and excitedly looks from side to side, calling out, "Glyger! Where are ya! Hey Glyger!"
Suddenly the ground crumples beneath their feet and all of them fall crashing into a hole prepared earlier by those delightful delinquints, those masterfully Machiavellian michief-makers, that temperamental, troublesome trio of TEAM ROCKET!
"How'd this get here!" moans Ash.
"We dug a hole to make you trouble!" laughs Jesse's voice from above the top of the hole.
"Then we dug some more to make it double!" adds James.
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jesse!"
"James!"
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"
"Meowth, that's right!"
As they go through their motto they also make their preparations, Jesse and James lowering a bamboo ceiling onto the hole with holes in it large enough for hands to grab a struggling Pikachu. Then all three pull in a pump and hose and Jesse and James get to pumping (GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!) which sends the water through the hose and down onto Ash's head in a way that seems uncomfortably sexual.
Or maybe that's just us.
They explain the intricacies of their plot, they'll pump water into the hole until they all rise to the top, which will enable them to get free, but before they can do that James plans to 'pluck that Pikachu from you' as he says to Ash.
Ash has other ideas, however, and orders Pikachu to hit them with a thundershock, but luckily neither Misty nor Brock are as stupid as their crack-baby leader and remind him that, as water conducts electricity, they'd be getting fried as well.
Jesse and James laugh before Meowth orders them to get back to pumping, and pump they do, James' arms twisting at unnatural angles as he pumps up and down, water splashing in with such ferocity that....
YES!
TOGEPI DROWNS!
The vile little Egg Leech, which has survived numerous attacks and blows from other hideously powerful Pokemon, the brutal ferocity of Mother Nature herself and even the attentions of a Shit-Eating Bulbasaur, is knocked free from Misty's arms and into the water.
"Togepi!" she cries, but makes no effort to rescue it, her own subconscious battling Togepi's vile mind-controll and letting the miserable monster die.
But alas, it's not to be, as the flailing, weak-limbed monster lets out a frantic psychic call and finds an unexpected saviour in the form of.... GLYGER!
It smashes through the bamboo, scoops up Togepi and zooms back out of the hole in a flash, startling Jesse, James and Meowth into stopping and looking up to the tree where Glyger has landed safely, Togepi clutched in it's paws.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAH!" laughs a booming voice, and from behind a tree trunk steps a man who has haunted the nightmares of generations, a man who had placed fear into even the most hardy of hearts and made tough, bitter, hard men cry into their cereal.
Here is.... TV's Adam West!
Decked up in a Glyger-like outfit, Mr. West booms to Team Rocket to RELEASE THEM AT ONCE, EVILDOERS!
"WHO ARE YOU!?!" cry Team Rocket.
"YEAH!" ask Ash, Brock and Misty.
"I am the protector of the unprotected, the defender of the undefended " states Mr. West as the camera pauses disturbingly on his crotch before continuing up over his pot belly, "The champion of the righteous and the sworn enemy of all evil-doers everywhere!"
The camera cuts to a profile shot of his face in close-up, "With Glyger at my side I fight every foe of goodness, and I am known far and wide as....... GLYGER-MAN!"
The camera pulls back as he and Glyger throw their arms wide and lift one knee in a pose.
"What's a Glyger-Man?" asks Team Rocket as one.
"This guys wacko," notes Ash.
"He makes a nice entrance though," defends Brock.
"Heard of him?" asks Jesse.
"No," replies James, "Never."
Gravity and a lack of respect get the better of Adam West and his gut and he almost plummets off the tree-branch, much to the delight of Glyger and Togepi who watch as he wraps his arms and legs around the wood.
"Why ya wearing long unda-wear?" asks Meowth.
"IT'S NOT UNDERWEAR AND I AM A SUPERHERO!" roars Adam West, tired of all these smart-mouth kids and there darn inner-net, "Just look at this action pose!"
As he poses bravely again, Jesse notes that she'd rather he kept his personal hygiene choices to himself as James suggests that Glyger-Man can't be a Super-Hero, they're not real!
"And if dey were I don't tink dey'd be as lumpy as you," notes Meowth.
Misty, however, is more faithful, after all, Glyger-Man did save Togepi (may he rot in hell) and as far as her brain-washed, mentally addled mind is concerned that does make him a Super-Hero.
Inspired by Misty's trust in him, Glyger-Man sets out to prove himself and sics Glyger onto Team Rocket, instructing it to deal with them.
Glyger interprets this as meaning he should hump Jesse's face in an orgy of sexual abuse, and he does, and who can blame him.
Really, who possibly could!
James and Meowth try to save her from this oral abuse of her beautiful mouth, but Jesse's frantic attempts to save herself do more damage to the team than Glyger possibly could. She steps on Meowth and slams James back, and it takes all of his skills to avoid her beautiful hair as she sweeps it around, back and forth as Glyger gets it's jollies from her.
"Jesse..... let me.... hold still!" James demands.
"Okay," she whimpers finally, uncharacteristically meek as James approaches Glyger from behind.
One backwards glance and a raise of it's tail-sting later though, James is backing away with bouncing hops, squealing, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" as Glyger-Man warns about Glyger's Tail-Sting.
He suggests that Meowth step up to the mound and save Jesse, and he is more than willing too, positive that his Fury Swipes will stop the abusive Glyger.
Glyger has humped it's fill of Jesse's mouth, though, and it leaps away, leaving a stunned Jesse with a face covered in scratches from Meowth and a mouth full of.... well, let's leave that to your imagination, shall we?
Jesse's horror at being sexually abused disappears at the greater horror of having her beauty marred by scratches, and she grabs Meowth and scratches up his own face something awful before Glyger is sicced on all three of them.
They flee in terror as James shouts out one of our favourite Dodgy lines of all time (and he's had some doozies!).
"It's behind me and it's not my face I'm worried about!"
"Well Glyger, virtue is safe for another day!" laughs Glyger-Man as Glyger flies back up to the tree branch.
Well, not Jesse's virtue, that's for damn sure.
"For we have proven once again, that when Glyger-Man's here, criminals fear! STRIKE THE POSE!"
They pose once again, joined by Togepi as Ash, Misty and Brock crawl out of the hole. Misty, once again under Togepi's vile mind control, thanks Glyger-Man for rescuing the little monstrosity. She looks surprisingly dry (as do they all) despite having spent the last few minutes in a giant hole filled with water.
Glyger-Man - showboat that Adam West is - can't resist a little bit more dramatism and leaps high into the air with Togepi in hands....
and crashes hard into the ground, Togepi held high, the vile little bastard forcing the golden-aged Super-Hero to sacrifice his own well-being ahead of the freaky little egg thingy.
Misty suggests he needs to work on the jumping but Glyger-Man brushes it off, leaping to his feet and presenting Togepi to Misty, unwittingly aiding the forces of evil that he is supposed to despise so much. He leaps into the bushes, claiming that he needs to stop evil elsewhere (maybe somebody's taking a dump in the bushes?) and emerges seconds later on a modified Motorcycle done up like a Glyger.
Dear Lord no, it's the Glyger-Mobile!
Throwing them an object on a string and telling the twerps to use it whenever they're in need, Glyger-Man pops a wheelie as Glyger leaps onto his back and then they're off, zooming towards town and leaving a trail of dust behind them.
The three confused kids blink a few times, then look down at the object thrown to them. It appears to be a whistle, with the silhouette of a Glyger rising over a Poke-Ball.
Before they can ponder it's use any further, however, a young lady calls out to them as she skids to a stop before them on her bicycle, acting very much like an action hero herself.
The girl - who just might be an Action Hero herself, given her bike riding skills and Wolverine-esque hairdo - asks if they've seen Glyger-Man about, as she wasn't likely to have seen him zooming by her down the same FREAKING ROAD SHE JUST CAME FROM!
They explain that Glyger-Man was just there and she gets all apologetic, hoping he didn't bother them too much. Misty is confused, obviously, and explains that he helped them, rescuing her Togepi from drowning.
Curse him.
"HAHAHA YES!" roars Togepi with laughter, "The fat fool has seen to it that a thousand years of death and destruction shall rain down upon your heads when my hour arrives!"
Although to the untrained ear it sounds more like, "Togepi!"
"Oh thank goodness," mutters the young lady, which is all the opening Brock needs to step in.
"Speaking of goodness!" he cooes as he grabs her hand in his own, "I think you're great! What's your name?"
"Uhhhh," she uhhhhs, "It's LaToya."
"I'm Brock," he returns, staring deep into her eyes.
"Could you let go of my hand," she replies into his squints. "I'll let go of your hand if you let me hold onto your heart.... forever and ever and ever...."
Before he can cop this cheap feel he's talking about, however, the ever vigilant Misty grabs his ear and tugs the squinty one away.
Ash approaches, as he must, and asks her all manner of excited little boy questions about Glyger-Man, wanting to know if he really is a super-hero and why is she so interested in Glyger-Man and how come his belly is so bulging and finally, after her evasive answers, asks the big one, does she know Glyger-Man's secret identity?
"I'm afraid I've all ready said to much, Ash!" LaToya gasps before turning and retreating, popping a wheeling and zooming off in a cloud of dust in exactly the same manner as Adam West did before her.
Question : How did LaToya know Ash's name? He never introduced himself, so how does she know? Could it be that, like her namesake in The Jackson Family claims to be, she is psychic?
Or maybe it's just a plothole?
In any case, Ash is positive that she's hiding something, and Brock agrees, proclaiming mushily that she's hiding feelings of love for her little Brocky-Poo!
That's enough for Ash, who as a young, empty-headed boy can't understand what Brock's obsession with these lumpy chested, curvy, smooth skinned, nice smelling things called girls could possibly be. He roars with Charizard-Like intensity at an astonished Brock, "THE ONLY FEELINGS SHE'S HIDING IS THE FEELING THAT YOU'RE AN ABSOLUTE NUTCASE!"
Wow, go Satoshi!
They head into town to see WASSUP! and discover that Glyger-Man is just some huge mass-marketing scam, with Glyger-Man symbols and toys and statues and action figures and flyers and comics everywhere. Hawkers wander the streets trying to convince people to part with their hard-earned cash for a piece of cheaply made pre-fabricated Glyger Underwear or Glyger Bubblebath.
When Ash makes the mistake of asking one of these Hawkers if Glyger-Man is really such a big deal in this town, the twerps find themselves pushed into a very dodgy position as Brock's crotch is shoved into Misty's ass and, as the startled girl looks over her shoulder at her molester, her crotch is shoved into Ash's butt.
One way to drum up business, we guess.
Inside the store, Brock hears a familiar sounding voice and looking over to the Check-Out Counter he spots LaToya, who greets them warmly until Brock charges the Counter, screaming, "LATOYA! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! WHAT A COINCIDENCE! IT SEEMS LIKE WE HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER IN AGES!!!!"
"It must be at least 15 minutes," mumbles Misty dryly.
Ash, ever the annoyance, keeps pressing LaToya for more information about Glyger-Man, and he gets his answers, but this time from LaToya's father, the owner of the store.
Approaching them in low slung cowboy hat and suspiciously pointy pot-belly, LaToya's Daddy offers to tell Ash anything that he wants to know about their hometown hero.
"WHO IS GLYGER-MAN!" asks Ash stupidly, asking the one question that can never be answered.
"Rather than tell you," laughs LaToya's Daddy, who just promised to 'tell' Ash everything, "I'll show you."
Punching a button, a projection machine starts playing an old film that appears to be called, "THE HERO" about a hugely muscled superhero and his Glyger. They fly past tall skyscrapers as the narrator asks of the world, "What's that in the sky? A Pidgeotto? A Charizard? A Dragonite? NO! It's Glyger-Man!"
It seems Glyger-Man is a Super-Hero who protects the city from evil, in this movies case a giant wasp-coloured Spider whom Glyger-Man and Glyger defeat by kicking (yes kicking) him over the side of a cliff that happens to be in the middle of the city they were just in.
Luckily it's one of those kind of giant, wasp-coloured Spiders that explode when they fall any great distance, and to celebrate Glyger-Man and Glyger pose on top of The Daily Planet.... or at least a reasonable approximation.
Strange how Glyger-Man is a piss-take of Batman and yet all the jokes seem to be based on Super-Man.
As the incredibly short movie ends, LaToya's Daddy is obviously well pleased, but Ash wants to know why The Glyger-Man in the movie looks so different (read: not a fat-ass) from the Glyger-Man that they met.
"Ahem!" coughs LaToya's Daddy, who bears a suspicious resemblance to Adam West, "That movie was made several years ago!"
"How many, twenty?" asks Ash, not meaning to be rude but too stupid to have tact.
LaToya's Daddy reacts immediately, handing Ash a Glyger-Man Cookie, Cape and Mask and then retreating, but not before an evil, gloating Togepi decides to have a little fun.
Grabbing his pants leg, it tugs and pulls evilly at the material to get everybody's attention, then strikes a Glyger-Man pose.
Misty - who does share a psychic connection with the egg-like monstrosity after all - begins to get a sneaking suspicion that perhaps LaToya's Daddy IS Glyger-Man, IS Adam West!
He quickly poo-poos the idea, asking Misty by name where she could have possibly gotten such a ridiculous idea, to which she points out that Glyger-Man is the only person who knows her name in this town.
But then, LaToya could also be Glyger-Man, since she knew Ash's name without introduction!
The plot thickens!
Ash grabs the mask given to him and throws it over Big Daddy's face and yes.... it's Glyger-Man!
"It's an honour to meet you Mr. Glyger Man," cries Brock loudly, grabbing his hand and proclaiming, "I'm a Super-Fan of yours and I was wondering if I could ask your Super-Daughter for a Super-Date?"
"Hey Glyger-Man!" screams the completely tactless Ash, "Do you have any super-powers and super-cool equipment and a super-secret Glyger-Cave that you live in?"
Glyger-Man slaps one sweaty, chubby palm against Ash's face, just like LaToya Jackson's father once did to Michael Jackson and his brothers later at night, angrily telling him that nobody can know the terrifying secret, that Adam West IS Glyger-Man!
Unfortunately for him (discounting the 10 or twenty kids, clerks and parents hanging out not three feet away from them in the toy-store), Jesse is watching this entire scene from across the street, using those remarkable Team Rocket binoculars of hers that allow you to hear as well as see great distances.
She is shocked to discover that the owner of The Glyger that 'used' her mouth in such a horrifying fashion is NOT a Super-Hero at all but the fat, old owner of a Toy-Store!
Determined to teach him a lesson, a VERY evil Jesse suddenly finds herself dressed in an Evil Supervillianesses costume. Why and how this is I do not know and do not care, what's most important is that she's in skin-tight black leather.
HOORAH!
She turns and asks her fellow Supervillians if they're ready to wreak vengeance, and Meowth and James look around to see who she's talking to.
"I was talking to you!" she screams at them.
"We didn't know that!" moan James and Meowth together as large Metapod costumes surround them.
....
Man them Japanese is wacky! Meanwhile, in The Glyger-Cave!
As the kids descend the elevator inside Adam's luxurious mansion on a cliff overlooking the town, he explains that he created Glyger-Man to give hope and justice back to the people.
All very altruistic we're sure, but LaToya gives a more realistic take on his origin.
It seems ol' Adam West popped into town years and years ago and opened a toy store which bombed horribly. Desperate to raise money, he invented Glyger-Man, made some action figures and shamelessly self-promoted the character to scare up some business.
As the years went on, ol' Mr. West got richer and richer and eventually became insane, but since he was rich it's classified as being eccentric, which is why he can not get away with prancing around in tights and keeping company with a small, flying purple rodent.
Such activities are normally frowned upon in small little towns.
So now he really IS Glyger-Man, and even has his own secret laboratory, where Glyger lives.
Upon entering the secret cave, Glyger swoops down onto Adam's wrist while LaToya strokes it's head. For a Pokemon that hates humans, it's pretty.... unhateful, isn't it.
Ash is extremely impressed by all this, after all he is a little boy and anybody who gets to be a Super-Hero, own a cool toy-store, train a cool Pokemon and live in the lap of luxury is just fine and dandy by him.
Which leads to an unexpected offer, as Adam follows in his long standing tradition of having relationships with young boys (beware Burt Ward!) and offers Ash the chance to be under.... ahhhh, train under him.
Ash is a little taken aback by this and we're treated to the truly horrifying site of Ash in tights doing leg flexes as he attempts to do The Glyger-Man pose while Pikachu does the same next to him.
Ash makes some bull-shit excuse about wanting to be the Greatest Pokemon Master ever (yeah right, has he EVER said anything about that before!) and Mr. West seems depressed, as he has no family to follow on in his tradition as a mad old kook.... eh, as Glyger-Man.
"What do you mean by that?" asks LaToya angrily.
"You know what I mean!" growls Glyger-Man, who seems to think that LaToya isn't interested in running around and making a fool of herself pretending to be a Super-Hero.
Odd, that.
Ahhh, but here is where Brock makes his move.
"If you'd permit me to become Glyger-Man 2!" suggests Brock quickly, zooming up to Adam West as fast as he can, "I could assume responsibility for the Glyger-Man legacy, the toy-store AND your daughter! And you could move to a planned retirement community!"
"Oh Brock!" giggles LaToya, waving her hand limp-wristedly and smirking, "Why can't you ever be serious!"
Brock RAAARGHHHH's, turns blue, does several Power Ranger moves then hunches down, slowly circling the ground with his finger dejectedly at this horrifying rejection.
Misty, like all good women, is pleased by a man's pain and comments that this is the Brock that they know and love, then appeases LaToya's concern by telling her that Brock is used to getting his heart stomped on.
Meanwhile, Ash tries to cop a feel of Glyger's tail-sting and the grumpy little Pokemon swoops away, hiding atop it's Jungle Gym. LaToya growls at it for always being so anti-social, but Glyger has no idea why it doesn't like being molested either.
Before any dark Jackson Family secrets can come out, however, Adam changes the subject by making a big moral speech about what a great honour it is to be Glyger's partner as LaToya listens on.
A whistle blows, warning them of danger. Somewhere, somehow, the foul stench of evil stinks up the hearts and minds of loyal, God-Fearing citizens everywhere.
Adam checks his monitors and see's the most foul evil of all, somebody is messing with his profit margin! The Toy-Store is under attack!
He and Glyger charge away, followed by Action Hero Ash and his French Sidekick Pikachu, as concerned damsel Misty weakly moans, "Be careful Ash!"
But enough of weak damsels, psychic incest survivors, pot-bellied superheroes, rejected suitors, French rodents and crack babies! It's time to focus on what's really important down to de Pokemopolis, and that's hot Jesse in skin-tight leather!
"Ahahahah!" she laughs menacingly,her skin tight leather and black armour clinging lovingly to her incredible figure, "Now let's see if your Glyger-Man comes to the rescue!"
"See how you like wearing these silly costumes!" growls Metapod James, who hates these clunky, unimaginative costumes Jesse has forced him into and wants to share the pain, slamming a Metapod costume onto one of their hostages.
Metapod Meowth ignores his prisoner's frantic squeals for help and forces a costume on her too, but any satisfaction is short-lived as a heroic voice cries forth, "Okay, hold it right there!"
Standing in the doorway of his toystore is a furious Glyger-Man, who cannot stand the idea of somebody wrecking one of his businesses and damaging his profit margins.
Jesse is prepared for him this time, however, even if he does have Ash in tow, and she sends her vicious, terrifying Metapod men into battle, which actually translates into James approaching with his arms up kind of softly hissing, "Eeeeeee."
Terrifying, huh?
However, if there is one lesson LaToya's father has learnt from that other LaToya's father, it's that the best way to shut someone up is through a little sexual abuse, and Glyger instantly leaps onto James' face and starts humping away.
It's hard to say how James feels about this as he pinwheels about, making oohing and eeeing noises that could be taken either as shock, disgust or giggling excitement.
It's a mystery for the ages.
Jesse is unconcerned by James' folly, however, telling Meowth to bring out the big guns, which is exactly what he does.
Darting away, the Scratch-Cat (now out of his Metapod Costume) returns at the helm of a giant Mecha-Spinnarak which is - as he informs Glyger-Man - no toy.
A blast of webfluid later and Ash, Pikachu and Glyger-Man are all trussed up in a sticky, white substance which won't come out of your hair no matter how many times you shower.
GETCHA.... ehhhh, you get it.
Blasting a hole in the wall of the toy-store, The Mecha-Spinnarak drags the three would be heroes out into the street and slings them over a giant piece of modern art that is supposed to represent a tree while a concerned populace comes to see what all the noise is.
At the same time, James comes charging up and down the street, begging somebody to get the humping Glyger off of his face but also making a noise that sounds like.... laughter?
You be the judge, this one is beyond us.
Jesse roars with wicked laughter as her leather-clad body makes the world smile, then informs Glyger-Man that she's going to let the world in on the dreadful secret of just who he really is after all.
Ash struggles to break free, figuring that if he kind of wiggles a bit, it might make the super-constrictive, tightly binding rope... be not.
Meanwhile, the hostages bounce their way out of the store and start crying out for Mr. Parker, telling him that they have faith in him and know he can get out.
Well, it seems that Mr. Parker is Adam's pseudonym to keep his billions of fans from harassing him, as Glyger-Man thinks to himself in shock that they've known who he really is all along.
But the citizen's trust and faith aside, Glyger-Man is still trapped in that web and there is no getting out.... or is there!
No, there isn't.
"I'll help you, Glyger-Man!" cries a voice, capturing everyones attention. Looking up at the tallest spire in town, the sun behind it making it difficult to make out anything, is the silhouette of a young woman in purple tights.
"Who's she?" asks Meowth as Glyger takes time out of humping James' mouth to see WASSUP! and the incredibly stupid Ash wonders who it could possibly be.
"Evil-doers shall never prevail! Not at long as there is... GLY-GIRL!" pronounces LaTo... ahhh, Gly-Girl as she throws her arms wide.
"Who could she be!" Ash pronounces with the wooden delivery of Thug #2 from the Clint Eastwood Classic, The Rookie.
Misty and Brock arrive on the scene, Misty proclaiming that Gly-Girl is what a SuperHero SHOULD look like (we agree, girls in purple tights are always more fun that guys in purple tights) while Brock moans happily that she's bright and good and beautiful.... just like LaToya.
Gly-Girl calls for Glyger to help, and staring up at her it realises that it's LaToya. Smiling, it flies up towards her, leaving a sore mouthed, surprised looking James behind.
Gly-Girl and Glyger hit a high-five before Glyger swoops down and cuts Glyger-Man, Ash and Pikachu free from their web-ropes. Ash and Pikachu land with practised Action Hero dexterity while Glyger-Man crashes flat onto his back, and Ash quickly sends Pikachu into action.
The cute little rodent darts underneath Mecha-Spinnarak's feet, and Meowth's frantic attempts to squish it just end up tripping the robot over. Or as Meowth puts it, "My legs are scrambled!"
The leather-clad Jesse sends Metapod James in to get Pikachu, but his low hiss of eeeee doesn't do much to terrify Pikachu either, and Glyger's Poison Sting attack puts him on the run, although he does appear to be giggling again.
That James can be a weird one.
Meanwhile Mecha-Spinnarak has gotten back to it's feet and tries to take out Glyger again, firing it's web-fluid towards the gliding Pokemon.
But Gly-Girl is ready for this and poses bravely as Ash stares in confusion at one of her breasts. She commands Glyger to use its Swift Attack, which appears to be the attack that occurs when a Pokemon farts stars towards something.
....
Well, yes.
Ash then sends Pikachu in, and a quick Thunder-Shock later The Mecha-Spinnarak's controls are blown, Meowth's is no longer in control and Metapod James and leather-clad Jesse are running in terror from the Mechanical Frankenstein chasing them.
They get over the street and out of sight before a blast of green smoke signals the Mecha-Spinnarak's end and Jesse, James and Meowth are Blasting Off Again!
Oh well, at least we get a kind of GAS from Jesse before she goes.
Meanwhile Ash and Gly-Girl are celebrating their victory over Team Rocket with all the dignity and poise of true action heroes, which is, of course, leaping up and down and whooping like American's at a Grid-Iron game.
Glyger and Pikachu join them and all four hit a pose as the crowd cheers and Glyger-Man weeps with joy.
"That's some daughter I have," he sobs. "Yeah. she sure is," agrees Brock, putting on an Ash-like display of stupidity, "I wonder where she disappeared to? She was here a minute ago."
Ahhh Brock, it's true what they say about love making you stupid, because all the blood runs to your
Dodgemaster's Note : We apologise for the censorship, suffice it to say the offending work rhymed with cock.
As the sun begins to set, the twerps say goodbye to Adam 'Mr Parker' West and his daughter. Before they go, Ash asks LaToya why she decided to become Gly-Girl, but LaToya can't explain it, telling him that it just seemed like the right thing to do.
"Must be hereditary!" laughs Adam, "Bravery is in her blood!"
Unfortunately LaToya now thinks that, since she's Gly-Girl, Adam should retire, but the pointy-bellied one is having none of it, claiming he's not yet ready to hang up his tights.... ewwwwwwwww!
Ash - strangely enough - has a bright idea and suggest they work as a team, which they happily agree to before getting into a fresh argument over who gets to keep Glyger.
Horrendously abusing the poor little Pokemon, stretching and twisting it's arms as it laughs and pretends to enjoy the pain, just like poor little Michael once did.
Meanwhile, Brock has come to the startling realisation that Gly-Girl and LaToya are one and the same!
With the abuse settled for the moment, Adam reminds Ash that he can always blow the Glyger-Whistle in his time of need, but Brock steps in once again to ask what he should do if he wants Gly-Girl to show up?
Misty grabs Brock by the ear and growls that she'll blow the whistle on him if he's not careful, and with that they're off, waving goodbye as LaToya tells Brock she'll see him later.
Brock cries at this suggestion, not realising that she's just being polite. Some people have suggested that LaToya has become Brock's girlfriend by the end of this episode but.... why? As far as we can tell, she's just like every other girl he's ever hit on and sees nothing in him except for a kind of goofy friend. They all head off together into the sunset towards Azalea Town.
Before they get there, however, there are more adventures to be had and more troubles to get into, because next episode :
Pikachu gets gang-raped.
| BEST QUOTES |
Glyger-Man - "IT'S NOT UNDERWEAR AND I AM A SUPERHERO! Just look at this action pose!"
 "It's behind me and it's not my face I'm worried about!"
 "I think sh'es hiding something" "She is. She's hiding feelings of love
for her little Brocky-Poos""THE ONLY FEELINGS
SHE'S HIDING IS THE FEELING THAT YOU'RE AN ABSOLUTE NUTCASE!"
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