133: Chikorita's Big Upset
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But amongst this scene of innocence and light a chilling scene of violence is played out.
No, not domestic violence or child abuse, but two young boys pitching their pets in vicious battle against the other in the name of supremacy.
In Ash's case, Chikorita is doing the fighting, battling against a little boy's Raticate. For Ash it's an opportunity for fun, because nothing excites him more than beating on small children, and for his young opponent it's a chance to hone his skills against a far more accomplished Trainer.
For Chikorita, it's a chance to show off.
There is nothing it wants more than to gain Ash's affection, and is willing to go to any lengths to accomplish that. Obeying Ash's every command, it darts and flicks, pounds and tackles, shifts and twists in battle against it's opponent, which unfortunately beats it at every turn, knocking it down and hurting it severely.
Ash, showing concern for a change, decides to call it back, but Chikorita ignores this command, determined to show that it can foot it against all opponents.
Brock and Misty are unsure why an obviously tired Chikorita won't return, but before their probing investigation (consisting of Brock rubbing his chin and Misty looking concerned) Chikorita leaps up and hits Raticate with a Razor-Leaf Attack.
"Nice Razor-Leaf," Ash compliments it, "Good aim, but now I'm replacing you with Pikachu...."
At the mention of the French Rodent, Chikorita's gaze hardens angrily and it dodges Ash's attempts to call it back to it's Pokeball. Leaping away from the red beam of light, it makes a fool of them both, darting from side to side as Ash yells at it to cut it out, while Brock and Misty watch in distress and Togepi roars with evil laughter at the display.
Pikachu is just as confused as anyone, and Raticate and it's Trainer are just plain bewildered.
"Dinner time!" calls a silhouette from a nearby window, and immediately the young boy calls back his Raticate, ready to go get him some grub.
"Huh?" gasps Ash, not getting it as always, "What are you doing? We're in a battle here! You can't just leave!"
The boy - whose mother actually cares deeply for him and isn't about to let him set off into the world on his own just so she can have hot, illegal in 48 States sex with the local scientist uninterrupted - taps a briefcase and tells Ash it's late, and besides, he doesn't have the time to wait for Ash's Chikorita to listen to him.
Ash calls a satisfied Chikorita back finally, complaining that they would have won for sure if it had just listened. Lifting the Poke-Ball to his face, he asks the question that everybody but him has an answer for.
"What's with you?"
And who can Ash always go to when he needs an answer?
Daddy!
Heading to the local Pokemon Centre, Ash puts in a call to Daddy Oak.
"Good to see you again, Ash," Professor Oak tells his illegitimate, bastard child, "How's the journey going?"
"It's going great, Professor!" Ash declares proudly, opening his jacket to show off the one measly badge he's been able to get his grubby little paws onto, "I already won a Zephyr Badge at The Violet City Gym!"
"Well that's quite an accomplishment," Oak replies warmly, then shrewdly brings up the subject that really concerns him, "But I hope in all the excitement you don't forget to deliver that GS Ball."
Ahh Professor Oak, you and your gratuitous sex.
"Don't worry Professor, I won't forget that!" Before Oak can reply, a familiar cry springs forth and a large, gelatinous mass of flesh pounds upon Professor Oak.
No gentle Dodgers, it's not Tracey, it's MUK!
Yes, our favourite Misty-Mauling Muk is back, spreading love and good times by slapping itself against Professor Oak and riding him like a two dollar.... well, you get the idea.
"As you can see," laughs Professor Oak nervously as he is rocked back and forth by the humping Muk, "Your Muk is just as playful and affectionate as ever.... especially around dinner time!"
Well it looks like dinner is served, and Professor Oak is the main course, as Muk slams him to the ground to get it some o' that good Oak loving!
"Stop it Muk!" cries Professor Oak as we see Muk's back humping up and down, trying desperately to form the beast-with-two-backs with Professor Oak, "That tickles!"
Indeed it does.
"Bye for now!" laughs Oak, managing to pull himself on-screen for just a moment to wave goodbye, "Call again soon!" With that Muk leaps onto his back as Oak assumes the position, but mercifully we are shown no more.
That Muk, definitely in contendership for Sexual Perversion Pokemon of the year.... unless of course Heracross has anything to say about it.
Meanwhile we see Pikachu, Squirtle and Bulbasaur chowing down enthusiastically on some food prepared for them by master Breeder (snicker) Brock.
Heracross is sucking on some sap from a bowl, giving Bulbasaur a break for the night, as the Japanese Creators obviously thought Muk had filled the enforced homosexuality angle for this particular episode.
Dammit, you can never have enough enforced homosexuality, it's just good comedy!
Brock is settled back, watching the fruits of his breeding efforts unfurl (hehehe!) while Misty feeds Togepi, the frozen, dead smile of a Born-Again Christian on her face, planted there by the vile Energy, Leech-Type Thingy.
"Looks like everyone's enjoying their dinner," says Ash happily, then notes that Chikorita is not. In fact, the little love-struck Pokemon is sitting at the window, staring out into the darkness with a forlorn slump in it's shoulders.
"Hey Chikorita, why don't you go eat with the other Pokemon?" asks the stupidly happy Ash.
Chikorita turns to stare up at him with a love-lorn sigh of discontent.
"Chika?" it moans, then turns it's head away snootily as Pikachu approaches with a small piece of food, extending the hand of peace in that uniquely arrogant French manner, "Chika!"
Pikachu places the food on the floor next to Chikorita, suggesting that it get down on it's knees and eat off of the floor, and not surprisingly Chikorita turns the offer down, flicking the food away with it's leaf.
"That wasn't nice," Ash states as Brock and Misty step up to have a look.
"I wonder why Chikorita's been acting so nasty?" asks Brock.
"Chikorita's in such a bad mood we should start calling it Krabbie," suggests Misty.
Togepi, meanwhile, knows all too well the source of Chikorita's grumpiness and looks suitably shocked and confused. After all, it's hard enough to believe one person could be in love with Ash (Misty) but two!?!
"Pokemon behaviour is clearly driven by psychology," explains a new voice, and they turn to see who this episode's guest star will be.
It appears to be a great set of pins under a short, black skirt, panning up to reveal a light blue top clinging lovingly to a reasonable set of beats and the bespectacled face of a Nurse Joy.
"Does that Chikorita belong to you?" Joy asks Ash.
"Aaah, yes Ma'am," replies Ash, unsure what this thing is without first checking his Pokedex. It looks similar to a Nurse Joy but may be the evolved version, given the lack of a Nurse's Uniform and blank, vapid smile, as well as the addition of spectacles.
"And what's your name?"
"My names Ash Ketchum," he replies, still nervous, which makes Misty smile.
"I'm Misty," she says, "And I bet your names Nurse Joy, isn't it?"
"Correct!" replies Joy, checking her glasses,"And I have a degree in Pokemon Psychology from Celadon University. I provide innovative counselling techniques and new Pokemon Therapy!"
Ash and Misty look on with the superstitious fear of the barbarian as this is explained to them.
"You mean there's some kind of new Pokemon called Therapy?" Ash asks dramatically.
....
....
....
Forget it, gentle Dodgers, just forget it, we all know it and there's no point in saying it. Suffice it to say that crack cocaine and pregnancy do NOT mix.
"Uhhh, guess again," sighs Misty, wishing for the thousandth time that her boyfriend sucked in the good way, "Therapy's not a Pokemon, Ash, Therapy is what helps you with your psychological problems."
"Oh... is that all?" Ash mutters, disappointed that he won't be able to catch this new Pokemon after all.
"My name is Brock and I need you badly!" cries Brock with a HWAAA! face red against a backdrop of glittering, love-struck stars, "Uhhh, for psychological counselling I mean!"
"I have this feeling that's hard to describe," he continues, grabbing his heat and lowering his head, "Like my hearts filled with emptiness!"
"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I only deal with Pokemon," Joy explains to the squinty-eyed, lovelorn Breeder (snicker).
"But you'd find me MUCH more interesting than a Pokemon," Brock proclaims, sidling up to her with Groucho Marx-like lechery.
"I wouldn't bet on it," growls an angry Misty, clutching him by his ear as Togepi roars with laughter, pleased at seeing anyone humiliated, but especially Brock.
"I have an idea, Ash!" suggests Nurse Joy, "Why don't you and your Pokemon join me, and we'll have a Counselling Session!"
Hmmm, wait till Joy gets a load of Ash's Pokemon. A homophobic Squirtle, a rage-aholic Bulbasaur, sexually perverted Heracross, French Pikachu and Ash-obsessed Chikorita.... this is gonna be some funny shit!
"But..... I don't have a problem," lies Ash, who has more problems than are good for him.
"Maybe," replies Joy, who really doesn't have a hundred years to check off the massive amounts of psychological troubles evident in Ash from talking with him for five minutes, "But I'm going to need your help to explore the issues that maybe causing your Chikorita's behaviour."
"Oh... okay," mutters Ash, who has trouble enough with one syllable words as it is.
Soon the Counselling session begins, with Misty and Brock sitting in on what should be a private session. Chikorita sits on a stool between Ash's and Joy while she takes notes.
"Interesting," she comments, "You say Chikorita's refusal to return occurred while you were battling another trainer and his Raticate earlier this evening?"
"That's right," agrees Ash, "Chikorita took a lot of damage and it was pretty worn out, so I wanted it to return and take a rest. But Chikorita wouldn't let Pikachu take over." DING! dings a bell in Joy's head as her glasses flash with a sinister light.
"I think I know the problem," she proclaims.
"Huh?" asks Ash, not getting it as always.
"Chikorita was suffering from envy."
"Not Envy!" snaps Ash angrily, getting the wrong end of the stick as always, "I said we were battling with a Raticate!"
"That's not what she meant Ash!" growls Misty, correcting her boyfriend yet again, "Chikorita was jealous!"
"Jealous of what?" asks the thickest piece of pig-shit in the land.
"Why do we have to only talk about Chikorita!" complains Brock, pulling at a cloth with his teeth in frustration, "When is Nurse Joy gonna concentrate on me!"
"One mental case at a time, please," grumbles Misty.
"I give Chikorita plenty of attention, Nurse Joy, why would it be jealous?" asks Ash.
"You wanted to substitute Pikachu just when Chikorita thought it was on the verge of winning a battle for you, so it's understandable that Chikorita feels that you trust and care more for Pikachu, and it's jealous."
"Awwwuuuuaggh," proclaims Ash intelligently, "Poor Chikorita."
"Don't worry Ash, I think we can work through it," Nurse Joy assures him. She leads them into a small garden set up inside the Pokemon Centre, and Chikorita instantly leaps out of Ash's arms onto the grass.
"Why did we bring Chikorita here?" asks Ash, demonstrating what just might be stupidity of truly epic proportions. "Chikorita is a Grass-Type Pokemon," explains Nurse Joy, "So it needs lot of plants so it can be calmed and comfortable."
Chikorita nuzzles against a leaf, looking a little unsure of itself as Brock sidles up to Nurse Joy again, suggesting, "I'm calm and comfortable when I'm around Nurse Joy... so I guess that must make me HER type!"
Misty, of course, pulls him away.
"Can it, casanova!"
"TO-GEPI!" roars Togepi with drunken laughter, amused by Brock's further humiliation.
"Why don't you try to get Chikorita to return to it's Poke-ball now?" suggests Joy.
"Chikorita, RETURN!" proclaims Ash, calling it back into it's Poke-ball before turning back to Nurse Joy, "Nurse Joy, do you really think this psychology stuff will help my Chikorita?"
Well gee, Ash, do you think she's going to say no?
Schmuck.
"Yes I do!" replies Joy quickly with forced enthusiasm, desperate to legitimise her money-making medical quackery, "The new Pokemon Therapies are quite effective, but I think it's best if your Chikorita stays here in the Green-House tonight."
At the same time she holds out her hand, expecting to be paid her fee, but Ash - a long time freeloader - quickly changes the subject away from payment.
"Sure," he tells her, putting the Poke-ball into her hand and making out that he doesn't know she wants money. For a thick-head, he can actually be pretty on to it sometimes.
"Pi-ka," mumbles Pikachu worriedly, staring into the Green-house from the doorway, it's Frenchy-Sense tingling.
That night, the kids bed down at the Pokemon Centre, but Pikachu does not rest by Ash's side for long. Getting up, it quickly moves down to The Green-house and sneaks through the door, up to some kind of madcap French mischief.
It stops at the pedestal at the centre of The Green-House and stares up at the Poke-ball resting atop it, which begins to shake and twist before Chikorita emerges.
It looks happy and content, even more so when it spots the open door leading outside, left open by Pikachu of all things.
Leaping down, it rushes outside into the open air, followed by a worried Pikachu as the camera in the corner of the room records it all.
Chikorita rushes down the road happily, sniffing the outside air and enjoying the freedom it is feeling.
Pikachu rushes after it, calling for it to come back, but the snooty Chikorita puts on airs and even tosses a couple of razor leaf attacks at our poor French hero, who ducks them, but not before Chikorita can disappear into the long grass.
Pikachu gives chase, but grass is Chikorita's element, and it easily loses Pikachu, rushing away happily until it finds an abandoned warehouse.
Excited by it's find - which may indicate that it's going to become a Marvel Supervillain - it rushes inside, dusting off a nearby box and stretching out on it, enjoying the light washing down over it from the overhead sky-light. Soon it falls asleep, and the night wears on to the sounds of dogs barking (dogs?) before three dark, menacing shadows fall over Chikorita, waking it up.
It finds itself staring up at three very deadly Fighting-Type Pokemon, Hitmonchan, Machamp and Hitmonlee, whose objectives look anything but honourable.
"PRIMMMME! PRIME-APE!" bellows a new Pokemon, and looking up at the crates stacked up high Chikorita sees an angry looking Prime-Ape lording it up over all it surveys.
Chikorita just stretches a little, yawns and goes to sleep, unimpressed by all this shouting and shadow-boxing.
An infuriated Prime-Ape tosses a bolt at Chikorita, almost hitting it and, in turn, infuriating Chikorita, which leaps to it's feet and stares angrily up at Primeape.
They leap at each other, but Chikorita's longer reach (Vine-Whip) bests Prime-Ape's great power, and after only two slaps it collapses face forward to the ground, shocking the other three Fighting Pokemon, who had no idea their leader was such a pussy.
They face off with the angry Chikorita for a few moments, then bow down, showing subservience to a surprised Chikorita, which quickly regains it's composure and snootily lifts it's chin, saying to us all, "You damn right! I'm one bad-ass Mofo!"
That's mother-fucker to you gentle Dodgers who aren't street-wise like Snoop Dodgy Tim and Lex-n-Lex.... not to mention Brandon-Daddy.
The next day Joy, Ash, Misty and Brock watch the surveillance tape of Chikorita's escape, with Pikachu following close behind.
"Yep, this is a text-book case," lies Nurse Joy, making up some bullshit as she goes along, trying to maintain the facade of psychology as a legitimate science.
"Case of what?" asks Ash, again making the argument for not smoking crack whilst pregnant.
"That Chikorita craves your attention and an excellent way to get it is by running away," she explains.
"But why did Pikachu go too?" asks Brock. "I bet Pikachu followed Chikorita to try and get it to come back," suggests Misty.
"You're right, Pikachu might blame itself for this," growls Ash determinedly, trying to make out he knows what he's doing,"I gotta get out there and look for him!"
"I think you'd better hurry Ash," suggests Joy.
"Huh?" asks Ash, his direct action confused by Joy's speaking... the boy being easily confused after all.
"This is a pretty tough neighbourhood, and it has some pretty rough Pokemon!"
Well... well done Joy! Nice of you to mention to them finally that Chikorita might be getting the shit kicked out of it somewhere.... not to mention our belovedly French Pikachu!
"You mean Pikachu and Chikorita might get attacked!?!" gasps Brock, providing running commentary because he knows Ash is a bit too thick to understand what Joy is talking about.
"That's awful!" gasps Misty.
"Let's go!" announced Ash.
"RIGHT!" nod Brock and Misty together, showing off their cool, massive wicked-hot Power Ranger style STYLE!
Or words to that effect.
Their detailed, carefully thought out rescue operation consists of the three of them running down the streets yelling, "Pikachu! Chikorita! Pikachu! Chikorita!"
When this Machiavellian plan somehow fails to accomplish, they pull up short, realising that they'll have to change tacks and try a different method.
"We've got to have a plan!" insists Misty after Brock and Ash extraneously voice their concerns, "This place is way too big, we're never going to find them if we just run around like this."
"Okay, but where do we look first?" asks Ash.
"I know!" proclaims Brock,"Bulbasaur's a Grass-Pokemon just like Chikorita, so it should be able to sniff out Chikorita's scent!"
Misty stares up at Brock with undisguised admiration while Ash keeps a determined look on his face to cover up his confusion. When he gets a chance, he'll use his Poke-Dex to discover what this mysterious 'Bulbasaur' thing that Brock speaks of is.
"And if Bulbasaur can find Chikorita," Brock continues, "We're bound to find Pikachu too!"
Ash sends out Bulbasaur and sends it after Chikorita, the stubborn Grass-type sniffing around, picking up a scent and leading them away. As the kids rush off, the camera trucks back behind a fence-post until we FINALLY see Team Rocket make their obligatory appearance. Thank goodness too, we were beginning to think this was going to be a Team Rocket-less episode.... the horror, THE HORROR!
"If I were you I'd prepare for trouble!" growls Jesse, clenching one gloves fist angrily.
"You're sounding even scarier, Jesse!" gasps James with nervous happiness, voice cracking slightly in fear of his tough-as-nails team-mate.
"Oh thank you James," she giggles happily, "I've been working on my evil inflections lately!"
"This is it, Jesse!" proclaims James, "The twerp said that Pikachu and Chikorita have run off together, this is our chance to grab both of them and bring them back to The Boss!"
"And now all we have to do is get to them before the twerps do!" agrees Jesse.
These last two lines are spoken with Jesse and James in profile, beautiful faces only inches from each other. There isn't a heterosexual man alive or drawn who could resist the urge to kiss Jesse at this moment, not one, not even Al Gore itself!
James doesn't even make a move.
Think on that, Rocket-Shippers, think on that.
"Ahhh, James to Meowth, do you read me Meowth, over?" asks James, speaking into a walkie-talkie, then adds an extra line following the over, "How's the view from up there today?"
"Purr-fectly clear, Jimbo," replies Meowth from his Meowth Balloon high above them.
"We just heard the twerps Pikachu and Chikorita are on the loose," explains James, "Try to spot them."
"Roger-wilco," agrees Meowth, and pulls out a pair of his trusty binoculars to survey the scene, taking in a house, the abandoned warehouse and finally a field of long grass with something moving smoothly through it, "Whadda we have here?"
Zooming in, Meowth discovers to his joy that, "It's our old friend, Pikachu!"
Pikachu has picked up Chikorita's scent and is now getting mad French-Style. It's been up all night looking for the sulky little brat and now it's grouchy and wants to go to sleep on Ash's head.
"PIKA-PIKA!" it yells into the abandoned warehouse, looking around for Chikorita.
"PIKA-PIKA! PIKA!" it yells, and Chikorita emerges from the top of a stack of crates, looking very pleased with itself.
"Chika!" it replies to Pikachu's Pika.
"PI-Kaaaaaaa!" laughs Pikachu happily as Chikorita leaps down to it's level, our belovedly furry yellow rodent changing it's French mood suddenly to great pleasure at finding it's missing comrade, "PIKA!"
"Chika," mutters Chikorita snootily, turning it's head away.
"Pika!" says Pikachu, holding it's stubby little arms for a hug.
"Chika-Chika!" growls Chikorita at Pikachu.
"Pi-ka?" asks Pikachu, confused.
A sudden rustling in the grass behind them breaks up this intense, philosophical discussion and they turn to see Jesse and James leap out of the grass, landing on the fence-posts and balancing perfectly.
"Pikachu, prepare for trouble!" warns Jesse.
"Chikorita, you better make it double!" James informs them.
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jesse!"
"James!"
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!" finishes James, holding up his walkie-talkie so Meowth can join in.
"Meowth in flight!" the Scratch-Cat adds, signing off on the motto. "How nice to see you again, Pikachu!" Jesse greets Pikachu as she and James leap from the fence-posts to the ground.
"And it's a pleasure to see you too, Chikorita," adds James.
"We have a lot of catching up to do," jokes Jesse as James throws out a net, which flies towards them extremely slowly, which coincidentally gives Primeape time to leap to the rescue, smashing into the net and knocking it off course.
"A Prime-Ape?" gasps James, "Where did that come from?"
"What's the big idea, fuzz-ball!?!" growls Jesse angrily at the manic monkey.
Primeape throws the net aside angrily, and Machamp, Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan slide in front of Pikachu and Chikorita to protect their new Boss.
Jesse recoils as James gapes, proclaiming hilariously, "How do we stop them from beating us up?"
"Try reverse psychology?" suggests Jesse. "HEY! TEAM LOSER!" James yells, deciding to do as Jesse says and act in the reverse. For James, the reverse (or opposite) is to act like a boorish, over-confident heterosexual male trying to impress the girl he's with.
It doesn't get much more opposite than that!
"GET OUT OF OUR WAY BEFORE WE KNOCK YOU OUT OF OUR WAY!" he demands.
"You don't scare Team Rocket!" adds Jesse, and her and James share a laugh.
"CHIKA! Chika-Chika, CHIKA!" Chikorita orders, to Pikachu's surprise.
Primeape slams a fist into a nearby can, crushing the metal with it's powerful fists before Machamp, Hitmonchan and Hitmonlee put on a display of their fighting prowess and then loom up high over Team Rocket.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" squeal Jesse and James girlishly, before dropping to their hands and knees (ahhh, Jesse) and bowing up and down.
It should be noted that, though they both share the same position, James has his ass up a little higher, because it just feels more natural to him that way.
Make of that, what you will.
"We're sorry, we're sorry!" they jabber in a panic,"Please don't hurt us, stay in our way, stay in our way, please we're sorry....."
"AHOY!" yells an angry Meowth into his walkie-talkie, quite safe up in his Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, "Stop grovelling like a coupla wimps and stand up ta dem bullies!"
Jesse and James look up at the balloon far, far away.
"Let's switch places," growls Jesse angrily, "Then let's see how brave you are down here!"
"What else can we do!" moans James.
"It's all up ta me," Meowth says with a smug smile, lifting up a remote-control device, "Okay, my new secret weapon'll get ya outta dere!" He pushes a button and a massive fist emerges through the roof of the abandoned warehouse (bit of luck Meowth had it hidden there, isn't it Gentle Dodgers?), startling everyone into looking around.
A massive, black robot smashes it's way through the abandoned warehouse towards Primape, as off in the distance Bulbasaur continues to snuffle around.
Success! Bulbasaur has located the scent and points them in the right direction. Looking up, they find themselves staring at a giant Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon floating over an abandoned warehouse which is being torn apart by a giant robot.
Lucky they had Bulbasaur to point it out to them!
"That balloon!" gasps Ash, amazed at the brand new experience of seeing a balloon shaped like, of all things, a Meowth! What a revolutionary concept!
"Team Rocket again!" growls Misty.
"Look at that robot!" adds Brock, who like any boy is instantly attracted to Mecha, "It's tremendous!"
"I hope they don't find Chikorita and Pikachu before we do!" snaps Ash dramatically.
That's right, Gentle Dodgers, Ash still hasn't clicked that Chikorita and Pikachu are likely to be over there, as Team Rocket don't tend to go on mad rampages for no reason whatsoever.
Meanwhile Jesse and James are being pulled to safety by Meowth, lifted by rope towards the balloon high above.
It seems that Meowth's secret weapon was so secret that even J&J didn't know about it.
"What is that?" asks Jesse, "It looks like a pile of old tires!"
"It looks like a walking recycling centre!" suggests James.
"Not only did I save a ton o money on materials," laughs Meowth happily, "But it's good for da environment too!"
Chikorita, meanwhile, is rousing the morale of the troops, telling them to fight, fight, fight!
Primape, Machamp, Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan are quickly psyched up and charge through the air towards the Recyla-Bot.
"I'll show 'em!" growls Meowth, manipulating the controls,"I'll give dem a fight dey won't faget!"
Chikorita's boys are smacked about like an Eastender's wife on a Saturday Night, totally thrashed and bashed out of their skulls and absolutely defeated.
"It's time to re-tire," quips Meowth, "So whaddya tink, my recycled rubber robot packs a pretty punch, don't it?"
"Excellent Meowth!" smiles Jesse.
"I'm pleased as punch!" giggles James.
"We're finally safe!" Jesse and James sigh simultaneously to each other.
"GRRRRRRAAAARRRR!!!!" adds The Recycla-Bot, challenging The Michelin Man to even try to sue it for copyright infringement.
"CHIKA!" growls Chikorita back at it's challenge, and Pikachu does the French thing, insisting they retreat or surrender without putting up a fight.
Chikorita ignores Pikachu and charges Recyla-Bot, who stomps down hard and almost squishes the little lovestruck Pokemon, which dodges aside at just the last second.
Pikachu sends out it's most powerful Thundershock, hoping to defeat The Recycla-Bot which, of course, is made mainly out of rubber.
"HAHAHAHA!" laughs Meowth,"Don't waste ya energy! Your patetic Pikachu electricity won't work against dis ting! And since I'm all da way up here in dis balloon, none of your electric attacks can touch me!"
Not so lucky are Jesse and James, hanging onto the ropes and fried to a crisp.
"Unfortunately the two of us are at a lower altitude," grumbles Jesse slowly, sparks still running over her and James' body (the only electricity that there'll ever be between them!).
"Next time, give us a little more altitude and a little less... attitude," suggests James.
In the meantime, Misty, Brock and even Bulbasaur have managed to hammer home to Ash that Chikorita and Pikachu are likely involved in the battle over yonder, and now he's in full Action-Hero Ash mode, ready for action!
They arrive at the fence, which destroys Ash's forward momentum, as the devious construction of wood and wire is beyond his comprehension and he finds himself blocked off, unable to think of any way to get past the fiendish device.
Recycla-Bot grabs Pikachu, shrugging off Chikorita's Razor-Leaf Attack and scooping the Grass-Type moments later.
"Ash it's too late!" cries Brock.
"Ahhhh!" ahhhh's Misty.
"We've got 'em!" exclaims James.
"Both of them!" laughs Jesse.
"FINALLY!" finishes Meowth.
"Hip-Hip-Hooray!" all three laugh together.
Meanwhile, Ash has fallen so far into stupidity that he's come out the other side and, temporarily at least, become a genius. He explains to Misty that Pikachu's Thundershock won't work against the rubber robot, and that Team Rocket are too high up it's blasts to reach.
Luckily Brock has spotted the antenna on Recyla-Bot's head and figures that if they can break it somehow, maybe it'll shut down the robot as well.
With this Star-Trek like plan in place, Ash demonstrates his rediscovered stupidity once again by calling out the one Pokemon totally ill-suited to this particular job.
Heracross.
Instantly the Sexually Perverted Pokemon is riding Bulbasaur, slurping hungrily at the poor, victimised Grass-Type's bulb, sucking for all it's worth and kind of humping away vaguely as Bulbasaur cries in humiliation.
"HWA-HUH!?!" gasp Ash, Misty and Brock as Bulbasaur fights back, slapping Heracross away with it's Vine-Whips as Ash once again tells them to cut it out.
"I need you to use your Horn-Toss to launch me up to that Robot's head," Ash explains to the spurned rapist.
"Ash, you can't, it's too dangerous!" gasps Misty as Togepi stares blankly ahead at nothing, a shocked look on it's face as it tries to forever erase the image of enforced homosexuality it just encountered.
"I know it's dangerous, Misty," Ash bravely tells her, still trying his best to impress her with his macho-styles, "But I don't have any other choice, Pikachu and Chikorita are my friends, so it's a risk I'll have to take... ready Heracross?"
"Heracross!" agrees Heracross, hoping to be rewarded with a little Bulba-time afterwards. Ash is launched through the air, yelling to Pikachu and Chikorita not to worry, he has a plan to save them.
"Dat's what you tink, Twerpo," snickers Meowth, and with one flick of his control stick Recyla-Bot dodges it's head to the side and Ash goes flying over it's shoulder, missing it entirely!
Ha! That's damn funny!
Ash smashes into a pile of nearby tyres and probably starts crying once out of Misty's sight, just like the little girly-man he is.
"Pika-pi!" gasps Pikachu.
"Chika-ri!" agrees Chikorita.
"Ash, are you okay back there?" calls out Brock.
"Say something!" cries Misty.
"Hera?" asks Heracross, wondering when it gets it some more o that fine Bulba-Action.
"To-ge, Piiii!" giggles Togepi, amused at Ash's short solo flight.
"Ahhh," mutters Ash, slowly getting up, his body aching all over, "Huh?"
Yep, Recyla-Bot is walking away, tired of hanging around while Ash tries to defeat it.
"I'm coming!" yells Ash, indicating he enjoyed his crash a lot more than his good for him, and sets off after the robot.
He charges past the bot and rushes up the water-tower, leaping onto it's head and missing once again as Meowth instructs the bot to move it's head to the side.
"Bon-Voy-A-Gee, Fly-boy," he laughs as Ash screams like a scared little girl.
Chikorita rescues the big, butch hero, however, sending out it's Vine-Whip and halting his fall. Chikorita strains to hold him up as he just hangs there smiling happily and Brock and Misty provide running commentary.
"Chikorita just saved Ash's life with it's Vine-Whip!"
Togepi looks on with an inscrutable Buddha's Face, finally smiling and waving it's hands to show it's amusement. With Ash around, it's always more fun, after all.
"Look's like friendship's stronger than jealously," Brock comments as he rubs his chin in his best 'jelly-filled doughnut' manner.
"Your timing was perfect," Ash tells the straining Chikorita, "Now try to lift me to the antenna on the robot's head!"
Yeah, while you're at it, mow the lawn with you tongue, why dontcha!
Still, love gives you wings (or is Red Bull?) and Ash is lifted up to the bot's head, grabbing the antenna and tearing it away, sending the recyla-bot into star-jump mode as Team Rocket see their plans falling to pieces.
Jesse and James are left dangling from their ropes, only a few feet above a robot that's gone haywire. They beg Meowth for assistance, calling for him to help them and Meowth.... Meowth tries to kill them!
Instigating his escape 'claws' Meowth gets ready to cut Jesse and James loose, telling them they're weighing the team down. James responds to this with a sob, begging Meowth o save them since they're friends, but Jesse - rough, tough, angry and beautiful Jesse - sees that the plan makes sense, which still makes Meowth a traitor.
"This hurts me too," Meowth informs them from the comfort of his basket, and cuts the ropes, sending Jesse and James plummeting to their doom.... several feet below, where their heads smash into the head of the robot and set off a chain reaction inside the Recyla-Bot.
"Dat didn't go according ta plan," notes Meowth, as The Recyla-Bot explodes and sends the balloon into a tail-spin, also sending a smoking, burned and charred Meowth flying away, saying, "Oh well, all for one and one for all, I always say."
"But why do we always get blasted away," complains James, sailing up beside Meowth. "All together on the count of three, 1, 2...." Jesse moans, joining them in their airborne flight.
"We're blasting off again!"
Machamp, Hitmonlee, Hitmonchan and Primape celebrate the victory while Ash gets down and strokes Chikorita and Pikachu's cheek.
He laughs for absolutely no reason as he strokes them both, laughing and laughing as he strokes them.... GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!
"Thanks Nurse Joy," Ash says back at The Pokemon Centre, "You really understand Pokemon."
"Thanks Ash," accepts Nurse Joy, who really hasn't got a fucking clue what the boy is talking about, but who, like all psychiatrists, is more than willing to take credit for the results, "I'm glad I could help out, I just wish I had time to explore Chikorita's psyche."
"You can explore my psyche anytime you like, Nurse Joy!" hwaaa's Brock to a confused Joy before being bounced away by an ear-tugging Misty.
"You're psyche is psycho!" Misty complains. "Guess we better get going, Pikachu," Ash informs his French Rodent, who leaps up onto his shoulder immediately.
"Chika?" asks Chikorita, staring up at them in dismay.
"Come on, the other shoulders just for you," Ash tells Chikorita, who happily leaps onto Ash's shoulder and beams happily along with Pikachu's Ash, Brock and Misty head on to further adventures in Pokemon Johto.
AWWWW! Isn't that sweet, isn't that lovely, int dat koooot!!!!
Anyone willing to take a bet that we won't see Chikorita on Ash's shoulder in the next episode?
You damn right there isn't!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Chikorita was suffering from envy" "I said we were battling with a Raticatte!"
 "You sound even scarier today, Jesse" "Thank you. I've been working on my evil inflections lately"
"I provide innovative counselling techniques and a new Pokemon therapy""You mean there's a new Pokemon called Therapy?"
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