129: For Crying Out Loud
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With Violet City FINALLY behind them, the next closest Gym is The Azalea Gym, which can be found, remarkably enough, in Azalea Town.
Ash throws his arm high in exultation as Misty watches her boyfriend in admiration.
As Ash - unaware of Misty's bizarre love for him - excitedly proclaims to the world that he must make all haste towards Azalea Town so that his unbeaten streak can continue, Misty finally notes something else to admire. The massive houses across the nearby lake are extremely pretty, and her girlishness gets the better of her.
Brock also gets excited, knowing that in a beautiful place like this with so many beautiful houses, then surely there must also be.... BEAUTIFUL GIRLS!
Yes, our horny, squinty eyed, tanned and toned Breeder (snicker) is at it again, proclaiming that this might finally be it, the place where he meets the girl of his dreams.
"That's crazy!" snaps Misty, "What makes you say that?"
"Because," gushes Brock, hwaa'ing away, "She's right over there!"
The camera pans to show a pretty Southern Belle standing on a small hill-side outcropping, looking over the lake, protected from the cancerous rays of the sun by her parasol.
"That's perfect!" Brock moans as Ash stares on in total confusion, not getting it as always, "That cliff is the perfect spot for our first meeting."
"Yeah!" laughs Misty, "Right after she meets you she can jump right off!"
Togepi roars with drunken laughter.
It's evil amusement is broken off, however, by a rustling in the bushes, followed by the emergence of.... Good God no..... Marrill, sigh.
The Annoying-Type Pokemon Marrill-Marrill's away stupidly for a bit, then turns to look at them, asking, "Marrill?"
Misty is extremely excited by the appearance of Marrill (given her love for Water Pokemon) but Ash is drawn up with superstitious fear, whispering Crom's name lightly in terror.
"WHAT A CUTIE!" cries Misty happily, gushing over the rotund, squeaky-voiced, annoying freaking bubble, "I'm going to catch this one. go Poke-ball GO!"
What follows is one of the funniest, most humorous Pokemon moments ever, as the Poke-Ball slams hard into Marrill's shocked face, knocking it over as the ball bounces back into Misty's perplexed hand.
"Well.... that didn't work out, did it," Misty notes.
Marrill's eyes go all wobbly (an anime special!) and it bursts into tears, streaming out of it's eyes like the floods of Noah's time. The kids clutch their ears in agony and then try to stop the tears by cheering Marrill up, pulling faces and making blub-blub noises. Pikachu's rubber face comes up with some extremely interesting poses indeed, but it's Brock's tender caresses which (GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!) finally calm Marrill down, ceasing it's caterwauls.
They notice the bow on it's tail for the first time (funny, for us the pink bow on the blue-bubble Pokemon tended to stick out) and gather that it belongs to somebody else.
Misty apologises, realising now why her Pokeball failed to capture The Marrill (why didn't she battle it first?) and she scoops it up to say sorry.
Instantly Marrill's thunderous tears begin again, and Misty can't figure out why it could possible be crying.
Gee Misty, maybe your hand on it's groin has something to do with that?
In any case, Brock pulls Marrill away as Togepi figures 'to hell with this' and shuts it's head away.
Brock tells Misty that he figures Marrill is scared of the fiery young red-head, but she can't understand why.
"Maybe it got a good look at you!" Ash guffaws, not helping matters at all and putting himself in severe danger of losing his bollocks.
"Who asked you!" she snaps angrily.
"Beep-beep!" ignores a tractor/trailer pulling up beside them, the window rolling down to reveal to peculiarly sexy, dynamic, dramatic and misunderstood looking farmers in drab khaki clothing and sun-hats complete with white chin-straps.
"Well howdy, kids!" drawls the sexy red-headed farmer, "Are you young'uns heading up the road a piece?"
"Uhhh, I guess so," asks Ash, not too sure of his own direction himself.
"Then you're in luck, by crikey!" gasps the blue haired bishonen in an old man's voice.
"Huh?" ask the entire trio, none of them really getting it this time.
Silent between the red-haired and blue-haired 'farmers' is the patriarch of the family, a short, furry little man with a cap and sunglasses, not saying a word but smiling enigmatically.
"We're headed up to the north forty to plow something or slop something," explains the hot red-head, "So we'd be mighty happy to give you a lift, so just climb on in!"
James.... uh, I mean the blue haired farmer, leaps out of the truck and pushes Ash, Misty and Brock towards the trailer.
"Skedaddle!" he instructs them, proving that whoever he is, he's most likely gay.
Stuffing them into the trailer, James leaps back into the cabin and throws his arm high.
"Now for some Pokemon Picking!" the blue haired hick yells.
"We got some ripe ones right in da back!" laughs the family patriarch, pulling off his glasses and cap and activating a machine.
In the trailer behind them, metallic hands grab Pikachu and Marrill roughly before the truck takes off, leaving the trailer behind but taking Pikachu and Marrill with them.
Ash foolishly rocks the boat, getting all overly-heroic and crying dramatically for Pikachu, which tips the trailer and sends them all crashing to their faces.
"I knew there was something phony about those farmers!" groans Misty.
The sun-roof of the truck opens and clothes come flying out, followed by sinister laughter.
GASP! Those hicks are going to celebrate with a bizarre three way, incestuous, down-home Southern orgy!
Odd, since we detected absolutely zero sexual attraction between the blue haired boy and the red haired girl.
"Prepare for trouble!" cries a familiar voice, and a familiar figure pops out of the trailer, "We just got two!"
"Make it double," adds another familiar voice, "We got Marrill AND Pikachu!"
WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE! WHY THEY WASN'T FARMERS AT ALL! THEY WAS TEAM ROCKET!
Well who'd a thunk it!
"To protect the world from devastation!" laughs Jesse as Meowth drives the truck away.
"To unite all peoples within our nation!" throws in James, and then the truck drives over the horizon and their words and their faces are lost to us.
"Come back with Pikachu!" cries Ash, trying the tried and true method of yelling what you want at a villain in the hopes they'll be fooled into doing it.
"To extend our reach to the stars above!" they continue as the camera cuts back to our beloved Jesse and James, their hair whipping before them in the wind (that's damn cool, by the way).
"Jesse!"
"James!"
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!" "Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"That's right!" adds Meowth, doing the driving despite his remarkable midget-itude.
"You can't get away with this!" yells Ash, Misty and Brock, who amazingly are keeping in sight of the truck despite the scrawniness of Ash's little chicken legs.
"I'm afraid we can twerps!" laughs Jesse, not afraid at all, "We're getting away with Pikachu and with Marrill too!"
"Yeah!" growls James, finally venting his fury and frustration at constantly getting second billing to a emotionally crippled little punk like Ash and his French rodent, "Howdya like the sound of them apples you bunch of bratty little no-good....."
Unfortunately James' monologue is cut off by the sound of bratty caterwauling, and he clutches his ears in agony, crying, "AHHH! Why is he crying for crying out loud!"
No it's not Ash pitching a fit, but that annoying little ball of annoyance, Marrill, showing what a spoilt brat it is by letting rip with a huge scream and flooding rivers of tears from it's eyes. Even fellow captive Pikachu can't stand the sound of it, cutely clutching it's ears as the rotten little jerk next to it cries away.
Meowth - having enough trouble just reaching the gas pedal - loses total control at the unexpected wail of the banshee and the truck spins to and fro across the road, smashing into a railing and sending Team Rocket blasting off again as Pikachu and Marrill are thrown clear and go tumbling down the hill.
Ash goes into Action Hero Ash mode, leaping with Spider-Man like agility over the railing and taking off down the side. The sight of her man being so manly gives Misty all the inspiration she needs, and with a massive wrench of her will-power she pushes the infectious energy leech Togepi away from her, thrusting it into Brock's hands.
"Here Brock, take Togepi for me!" she snaps.
"O-kay!" returns Brock, the vile Egg-Thingy thrust into his unwanting but noble hands. Yes, tanned, toned and girl-hungry he may be, but Brock knows he must make this sacrifice for Misty.
With that same Spider-Man like grace as Ash exhibited earlier, Misty leaps over the railing and takes off after her man, ready to tell him the truth, that she loves him, and wants him, and that they should be together.
All these thoughts fade from her head instantly when Ash trips over while running down the hill and slams his nads with wince-inducing impact hard into a tree.
His nose may be broken and his chest may have caved in, but believe me ladies, it's them nads that really hurt.
"I'll get them!" Misty cries as she charges past Ash, all ready telling her brain to forget what she was about to tell the now nads-less Ash. She swoops down on Pikachu and Marrill and scoops them up, but the trouble is now she's got too much forward momentum and can't stop herself from tripping and flying over the side of the cliff, falling far down to the raging river below.
"MISTY!" cries Ash, who retains his hoarse little boys voice despite having just had his genitals slammed three feet back up his stomach.
"MISTY!" cries Brock, terrified he'll now be stuck with Togepi, whose mouth is wide open in horror. If his human battery is gone, his plans to conquer the world will be set back years!
Ash and Brock somehow get beside the river that Misty is being carried along, and Ash instantly calls out Squirtle to fly out and save her.
Oh sorry, no he doesn't, well then he must surely call out Charizard to fly into the air, swoop over them and pull them out.
Oh, no he doesn't do that either. In fact Ash doesn't do anything, he just stands at the end of the river watching her go, and calls out, "DON'T LET GO!"
"I WON'T!" she calls back, "Just take care of Togepi..."
Her voice has trailed off and Brock assures her he will, not realising she means he must squish the horrible little egg thingamajig at once, before it gets it's psychic claws into them.
"Don't worry!" Ash calls to the now empty river, "We'll get downstream somehow!"
He and Brock then just stand there, making no attempt at all to get downstream, just kind of standing there doing nothing until they hear a rumbling and turn to see Brock's beautiful Southern Belle rumbling towards them on tip-toes, parasol trailing behind her.
She skids to a stop and breathes heavily, trying to get her wind back, as Brock shows his concern for Misty by Hwaaa'ing and proclaiming happily, "My sweet angel is here! She's like a lovely dream come true!"
"All right you weasally Pokemon thief!" the sweet angel yells angrily, grabbing Ash by the collar, "What did you do with my little Marrill!"
"Are you supposed to be a dream or a nightmare!" gasps Ash, who would be choking to death if he was just a little smarter.
"I heard you talking about my Marrill!" she snaps, "Now where is it!"
"YOUR MARRILL!" gasps Ash in shock, why we're not exactly sure, who knows how the brains of the very stupid is supposed to work anyway?
Boy Group Bands perhaps?
"YES! What have you done with my Pokemon!" she demands of the dim little boy.
"It... went for a little swim!" quips Ash inappropriately, just making himself out as even more of a psycho to the lovely lady than ever before.
"AHHHHH!" cries Brock, throwing Ash aside with a mighty sweep of his arm. Togepi watches Ash's flight with great interest, wondering if maybe this Brock-creature might have potential as a battery after all?
"I believe I can rectify this terrible misapprehension!" gasps Brock, grabbing her hand in his, "My name is Brock and I can assure you that neither of us had anything to do with your Pokemon's abduction!"
As he speaks, cheesy soft-porn music plays and the rest of the world thinks to themselves, wasn't there a raging river behind Ash? And wasn't he just thrown behind him? So isn't Ash now in the raging river? And what about poor little Misty anyway? She's still in the river and no one is coming to save her?
But back to the soft porn for now.
"Please tell me your name so that I may emblazon it upon my heart!" the sappy and sometimes suave Brock begs of the young lady.
"My name's Wilhemina, Brock," Wilhemina explains, indicating she either comes from German stock or is a transvestite. "Did you hear that Ash! Ahhhhh, her last name is the same as my first name!"
Ash, miraculously not drowning in the river after all, does get this particular one, however, saying sarcastically,"Yeah, what a coincidence!"
"Toge-Toge-PI!" roars Togepi with laughter, secure now that, with or without Misty, it has a source of energy great enough to rise to it's ascendancy.
Meanwhile Misty - remember her - has crawled out of the river along with Marrill and Pikachu.
"Thank goodness," she mutters, and then wobbly-eyed Marrill pitches a fit and bursts into caterwauling again.
"Oh no stop!" moans Misty, "I've had enough water for one day!"
And then something happens, something.... beautiful.
The Misty of old returns, The Misty who regularly beat her male compatriots and walked all over anyone who got in her way.
"STOP CRYING!" she roars at Marrill, who freezes in shock, having lived a pampered existence up to this point. But that's all it knows and immediately it returns to it, crying again and Misty backs off in surprise.
Her freedom from Togepi is still fresh, and she has yet to fully return to her old powers, but it is a start, it is the beginning of a long road to happiness for her and misery for Ash.
Oh happy day.
Marrill runs away in sulky terror but Misty is well on her way back to full strength, leaping angrily to her feet and snapping, "HEY! Where do you think you're going you little cry-baby!"
She charges after it, Pikachu close behind, leaving behind Marrill's little pink cutesy ribbon.
Marrill runs blindly, crying it's spoilt little eyes out until it trips over a rock and lands on it's face, where it cries some more as Misty kneels down next to it.
"Hey, what's the matter?" she asks, and picks it up. Like the brat it is, Marrill slaps her hand and jumps away, and Misty's eyes narrow dangerously. Were her return to full Misty-itude complete, Marrill would be sent spiralling with a giant hammer about now, but a little of Togepi's evil presence still needs to be shaken off, and instead she just warns it, "Don't do that!"
"Go ahead and stay here and cry then!" she snaps, her patience more than worn thin by the brat. Misty is back, gentle Dodgers, and she is not the mummying, punkish, whiny worrier that carries Togepi closely pressed to her chest. No, this Misty is the warrior/fighter/ass kicker that first pulled Ash bodily from a raging river on a fishing rod and carried a melted bike over her shoulders into Veridian City fuelled by rage alone.
She turns away from the Marrill, who is shocked, never having been spoken to in this way before.
"Pikachu-Pi?" asks Pikachu, unsure as to this course of action.
Misty just stares stonily at Pikachu, then her eyes slowly turn back to Marrill and she sighs.
Following a disturbing image of severed Pikachu heads (look, we don't make this shit up okay! It's in the freaking show!) we cut to Misty walking along in the lead (where she belongs) followed by Pikachu and Marrill.
"We'll find a way to get Marrill back to it's Trainer," Misty tells them determinedly as Pikachu and Marrill move along beside each other, the blue-ball-thingy a little more relaxed with Misty now, perhaps forgiving her for getting smacked over on it's ass earlier.
Hehe, damn that was funny!
Misty hits upon the idea that Marrill - with it's supersonic hearing, should be able to use those cute little ears to listen out for it's Trainer.
Marrill is all for giving it a shot and Misty watches on as Marrill concentrates fiercely, it's ears twitching and shifting as it tries to use it's supersonic hearing.
Misty tries her best to be patient, she really does, reasoning that a young Marrill will likely take longer than a fully grown, well trained Marrill like the one that chubby kid who used to hang around her had.
But finally she's had enough, and she throws her angry head forward to scream at Marrill, yelling that it should be listening harder.
Marrill's eyes go over all wobbly again, then bursts once more into tears as Misty weakly tries her best to help out. Here we see the lie in her apparent 'natural maternal instincts' towards Togepi, as in this case it's clear she has no idea how to mother a crying infant (or in this case, brat) and she squeezes it tight and sways it from side to side, muttering that she feels like she should be the one crying.
Leaving the real Misty behind for the moment, we cut back to Ash, Brock and Wilhemina walking downstream slowly, with no fear for their possibly injured or drowned friend.
"Misty will take care of your Marrill, you'll see," mutters Ash with the slow, zombie-like drawl of a brainless zombie. No, he hasn't lost the last of his meagre brain, he's just been saddled with Togepi, handed to him by the savvy Brock who has something to live for.
Wilhemina.
"Yes!" Brock agrees with Ash, who is less under control than most of Togepi's normal victims giving the relative smallness and lack of activity in his brain for Togepi to sink it's claws into, "And I'll promise to look after her in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, till death do us part, I do, I DO!"
"You're gonna scare her off, Brock," Ash suggests, as Togepi fights to look unconcerned as it struggles to take total control of the little boy carrying it.
"This is all my fault," sighs Wilhemina, "I never should have let little Marrill out of my sight for a second!"
She comes to a stop, Ash and Brock turning to stare at her in confusion. Brock tries to assure her, but she moans that this is the first time Marrill has ever been on it's own, and it's just a baby, it could wonder around for days or even weeks without being able to find it's way home, and then she'd never see her poor little Marrill ever again.
She starts crying like a girl, giving us a pretty good indication of where Marrill gets it's charming personality from.
Suddenly hands grab hers and she lifts her parasol to see Brock staring into her face, soft-porn music playing as he assures her that yes, they will find Marrill, they will!
"You think so?" she asks.
"I know so!" he proclaims bravely, "And no matter what happens and no matter how long it takes, I promise I'll be here for you until Marrill is back safely!"
"Ohhhh!" she gasps, and something very peculiar happens, something that has never, ever, EEEEEEEEEEEEE-ver happened before, "Brock, you're great!"
As Dodgers minds everywhere reel madly and suffer brain haemorrhages, Brock actually manages to keep his cool, telling her that she's great too.
The camera pans across to an annoyed looking Ash, who is taking on more of Togepi's personality as Togepi takes on more of his personality. Yes, Ash looks irritated and Togepi looks nice but dim, and that's a scary thought indeed.
Imagine it, fair Dodgers, imagine Togepi's insane genius trapped in the body of a ten year old boy with Action Hero capabilities. After the involuntary shudder, imagine now something as horrifically powerful as Togepi with only the mind of stupid, stubborn Ash.
The massive destruction that would result is not only frightening, it's.... uh, um.... very frightening!
"I think she really likes him," Ash suggests, but Togepi is uninterested. Having seen the horrors of a future where it is trapped in Ash's body while it's own does untold, pointless damage, Togepi takes definitive action and leaps from his arms, breaking their psychic link and escaping.
It casts it's mind out wide in search of it's original host, Misty, but the only sign it finds is the small ribbon of Marrill's. It's better than nothing, however, and it quickly draws the others attention to it.
Ash huhs for awhile as his mind goes back to it's abnormal self, then finally he clicks that the ribbon dangling from Togepi's little club paw is Marrill's bow.
"That's the ribbon from my little Marrill!" gasps Wilhemina in surprise.
Meanwhile, in one of this little clearings that are always so conveniently set with a tree-stump, Misty watches as Pikachu and Marrill make pigs of themselves, chowing down on some Poke-Grub.
Misty is hopeful that they find Marrill's Trainer soon, knowing that she could be lost in the forest for weeks otherwise.
Still, things could be worse, as The Butterfree flying overhead reminds us, she could be saddled with a Butterfree!
Proving that suck calls to suck, Marrill pricks up at the sight of another annoying Pokemon and chases after it, disappearing into the bushes and finding itself in a clearing where a couple of Butterfree are enjoying the prospect of raping some flowers.
Proving that Butterfree sucks ass more than almost any other Pokemon, even Marrill picks on them, the little brat shooting it's Water Gun Attack happily at the useless Butterfrees.
"There you are!" laughs Misty, rushing in and scooping the happy little brat up,"Were you getting in a little target practise, Marrill?"
"Marrill! Marrill!" proclaims Marrill stupidly.
"Piiiii! Piiiii!" warns Pikachu in terror, tugging at Misty's leg as a horrifying sight arises.
A collection of Caterpie and other Bug Pokemon are slithering out from between the flowers with extremely angry looks on their faces, not taking too kindly to being hit by Marrill's piss-poor aim.
Still, even though Misty does hate Bug-Types, what can some freaking Caterpillars do to her?
Not much, however Bee-drills can.
The sinister Pokemon leap up from the flowers and charge a terrified Misty, Pikachu and Marrill, but before we can see what happens, we cut to Ash - once more saddled with a confused and scared Togepi - watching Brock help Wilhemina.
It seems that Brock's lady love is such a punk that she can't even get down from a fallen tree, and so Brock is offering to help her down, hoping to cop a feel and get a look up that long dress at the same time.
"Oh Brock, you're such a gentleman!" she gasps happily, then trips and falls into his arms.... like he didn't plan it that way, the cad!
"Are you okay, Wilhemina!" he asks, concerned as his soft-core porno music starts up again, "You're not hurt are you?"
She stares lovingly up into his squinty eyes, "I'm fine."
"Ahhh, and so am I!" he tells her happily.
"PIIIIIIIIKA!" scream Pikachu.
"Huh? Pikachu?" asks Ash, turning around and spotting his little French Rodent charging in terror towards him, followed by Misty and Marrill.
Spurred on partly by concern for Pikachu and Misty but mainly by Togepi's eagerness to sink it's claws into Misty's mind once more, Ash charges towards them.
However, Togepi's might is hardly what it used to be, and Brock and Wilhemina's combined repressed sexual desires sees them stomping easily past the little boy.
Until The Beedrill.
Spotting the terrifying insects, Brock and Wilhemina figure to hell with that brat Marrill and run away, Ash's own mind getting the message a little later. He skids to a stop as well, one leg still pumping up and down in Togepi's fury at being stopped so close to it's goal.
Wilhemina leads the charge away from The Beedrill, holding her skirt up with one hand and her parasol with the other.
This puts her off balance, of course, and she falls flat on her face, knocking Brock and Ash over as well as Misty, Marrill and Pikachu charge unthinkingly past them.
"Pikachu!" yells Ash.
"Marrill!" cries Wilhemina.
"The Beedrill are coming!" Brock reminds them with a yell,"Get down!"
The Beedrill zoom over their prostrate forms as Misty vaults the fallen tree trunk and Pikachu leaps energetically over it. They charge down the forest path, Marrill laughing with excitement, thinking it's all some silly game.
But soon they find themselves with their backs to the wall, literally, as they come up against a sheer cliff-face. Misty knows it's time to turn and fight, and instructs Pikachu to use it's Thunder Shock attack on The Beedrill.
The Beedrill are zapped good, and quickly fly away like the wimps they are, all talk and no show, just like a white boxer.
Misty is extremely pleased with herself, telling an exultant Pikachu that she's wanted to try an electric attack for a long time now.
Marrill is also very impressed, Marrilling away happily, quite unconcerned that this was all it's fault.
Their victory celebrations are soon interrupted by rain, as Thunder Clouds rush in from nowhere and start to pour down rain. Which gives us the opportunity to see just hot bright Ash, Brock and Wilhemina are.
Yes children, what's the best place to stand under when you're in a thunderstorm? Especially while holding a parasol that could possibly act as a lightning conductor? Why! Under the biggest tree in the forest of course, what are the chances of lightning hitting that!
So, our remarkably not-bright trio are under a tree, Wilhemina thinking to herself, Togepi becoming more and more slack-jawed by the moment, Ash just being Ash and Brock finding himself in a moral quandary.
For you see, if he can find Marrill, then Wilhemina will be happy, but he'll be sad, because then it'll be time to go and he'll have to leave her.
But if they never find Marrill, he can stay with her forever and be happy, but she'll be sad because she has no Marrill.
So, either he chooses to be unhappy happy or to be happy unhappy. "What?" asks Ash, not getting it at all, although he's hardly alone on this front for once.
"ARRRRH!" cries Brock, doing his best Tim Robbins impersonation, stepping out into the rain and throwing his arms wide, "Why can't I have a little ray of sunshine in my life!"
A massive burst of lightning is his answer, and little Southern Dandy Wilhemina squeals and moans like a rat caught in a sledgehammer, as even little Togepi - lost and powerless without an infinite energy source like Misty - hides in terror.
Brock takes the opportunity, comforting her and telling her that yes, he's here for her now, neglecting the mention he's the one who actually brought down the wrath of God on their heads.
"Withdraw!" laughs Ash, looking down at the huddled little egg thingy that is Togepi, "That's a good idea! As soon as the rain stops and the sun comes out, we'll go look for Misty..... I hope."
More lightning strikes across the sky as we find Misty, Pikachu and Marrill hiding beneath another tree, but this time actually inside it where there is comparative safety.
Misty - whose shirt looks white by the way! - is wondering to herself is perhaps Ash and Brock are caught in the storm, but before that thought can go any further another electric burst terrifies Marrill, which hugs up close against Misty, who does her best to comfort it.
But it bursts into tears again and charges away in terror, tears streaming behind it as Misty charges after it, trying to get the stupid bloody thing to sit down and shut up.
God, furious at the world being stricken with such a punk-ass Pokemon, lays down a lightning bolt on a nearby tree, sending on a slow, slow, sloooooow fall towards a stupidly staring Marrill, who doesn't know what to make of this.
Misty screams at the stupid bubble-thing to get the hell out of the way but it doesn't listen, so she has to resort to Action Hero Ash tactics and pull it out of harms way.
Damn.
"Marrill, are you okay?" she asks softly to Marrill, sitting up, and little sooky girls go over all gooey at little miss-mummy-Misty.
"Don't you know you could have been hurt!" she snaps angrily at the stupid Pokemon, and everyone else in the world laughs at the stupid little sooky girls and poke them in the eyes with sticks.
Marrill threatens to start crying again, blubbering and getting more and more sooky. But when Misty relents and tells it that she's glad it is safe, Marrill gets all happy and rubs against her (oh yeah, maybe it's smarter than we thought!) as Pikachu nods with the sage wisdom of the mighty French.
The next we know, the sun is back out and Misty is leading a terrified Marrill across a creaky rope-bridge. Misty does her best to assure Marrill it'll be all right, but a large gloved robotic hand that shakes the bridge soon proves the lie of that statement.
"HUH!" gasps Misty, borrowing her boyfriends favourite saying, "What's happening? Why is the bridge shaking?"
"HAHAHAHA!" laughs the beautiful Jesse of Team Rocket, which emerges in their Meowth Balloon from behind the trees, "You know that old saying James!"
"You always hurt the ones you glove!"
Oh that was pretty damn terrible.
"Team Rocket!" yells Misty, in case they'd forgotten who they were.
"Who wuz you expecting?" asks Meowth, "De Wizard a Oz? Shake 'em up, Jimmy Boy!"
...
!
"Palms away!" laughs James ever so gayly, hitting a button that sends off an extendable gloved fist. It grabs Pikachu and pulls it away from the bridge as Misty stares on in shock.
"How about a big hand for de little Marrill!" quips Meowth horribly, and fires off another hand that grabs Marrill right out of Misty's tenacious little grip.
"HOW ABOUT NOT!" cries Spider-Misty, leaping thirty foot high in the air and ten feet across, catching onto the gloved hand holding Marrill and pulling Meowth out of the basket.
Jesse grabs his back paws and holds him up as Marrill and Misty hang beneath them.
"Whatever you do, don't let go!" cries Jesse to Meowth.
"It's too heavy!" Meowth sobs.
"Don't make excuses!" snaps James angrily, knowing that an Rr-Teest must suffer for their work, "Just hang on!"
Meanwhile Marrill's going over all blubbery again, useless little thing that it is, and Misty tries to calm it down but it's getting more and more scared.
Meowth releases his grip with a sob and Misty and Marrill start falling, the young girl assuring Marrill that she'll do her best to protect it from the raging waters of the river below.
Before she can make such a noble sacrifice, however, two long, green vines whip out and catch her, pulling her up onto the cliff-top where Ash, Brock, Wilhemina and Chikorita are waiting. "Nice save, Chikorita!" Brock says with a smile as Togepi leaps up and down with dark glee, knowing it just needs to get 2 seconds with Misty and it'll have it's powers back.
"You can say that again!" suggests Ash hopefully, but nobody picks up on the old joke.
"OHHHHHH my little Marrill is safe!" gasps Wilhemina, Marrill leaping into her outstretched arms, "Thank goodness!"
Ash turns a dark glare (which he picked up from Falconer) onto Team Rocket and orders Chikorita to use it's Razor Leaf Attack on the Team Rocket Balloon. It does so and, of course, the balloon whizzes and fizzes and crashes hard into the ground beside them, Pikachu freed from their capture.
But Team Rocket aren't done yet, no they aren't leaving without both the Pokemon (they seem to ignore Chikorita) and call out their own Pokemon to do battle.
Meowth is cross-eyed throughout the whole conversation.
Arbok and Weezing appear to do their damage, Weezing coughing and spitting up like an old man on his last legs (in fact, it doesn't have any legs, so it's even more pathetic and cringe-inducing). Misty calls out Poliwag and Arbok fights it with a Poison Sting Attack as Weezing uses it's Sludge Attack.
Poliwag's Water Gun Attack knocks back the Sludge and sends Weezing flying back, moaning in pain and old-man anger, remembering it's halcyon days as the most beloved Pokemon of all time, The Mighty Senor Koffing Del Toro!
Arbok - despite it's initial Poison Sting Attack apparently just disappearing into nothingness - decides to try Poison Sting again, but this time with a difference. The Stings slide by Poliwag without doing any damage, but head right for the vulnerable Misty, who is too shocked by this inexcusable breach of Pokemon Battling Etiquette to move.
Luckily Marrill (hands up who saw this coming) leaps in to save the day, firing it's Water Gun and blasting the stings away before Pikachu finishes things off with a Thunder Shock, knocking Team Rocket and their Pokemon back into the basket and blowing the gas cylinder up, sending Team Rocket blasting off again.
But this victory must be tempered with sadness, for though the Misty of old was free to run and skip and play and beat senseless like in days of yore, now Togepi is back. Before our shocked eyes the unbelievably arrogant monster hooks it's claws back into Misty's mind and forces all of the surrounding Pokemon - Chikorita, Marrill, Poliwag and Pikachu - to dance in a dark, corrupted version of a joyful dance.
Wilhemina, not seeing the dark facade behind Togepi like most others, smiles and thinks Marrill has made some new friends.
Speaking of new friends, Ash is congratulating both Pikachu and Chikorita, rubbing Pikachu's head until a possessive and angry Chikorita shoves the poor little French Rodent out of the way and demands Ash's love and attention. Not getting it as always, Ash pats the lusty young lady Pokemon while Pikachu looks on, confused.
Not that we can blame it.
But now it is time for them all to say goodbye, hardest of all for Brock as the only girl who has ever shown an interest in him prepares to head away in her flashy Town Car.
He grips her hands and tells her with heartfelt passion that he'll never forget her, and her reply is.... that she will never forget him!
BROCK YOU FOOL! YOU'RE IN! YOU'RE FREAKING IN!!
Wilhemina has made a kind offer to them to come stay in her House by the lake for awhile, but Ash stupidly declines, telling her they need to get to Azalea Town.
Like he won't stop every five minutes for a new adventure anyway!
Misty says goodbye to Marrill and the car drives away, while Misty and Marrill stare at each other, tears welling up in their eyes. But Misty ain't no little girl nor nothing neither, and she holds back the tears despite Ash's ridiculous attempts to make her cry, waving goodbye to that annoying little cry-baby Marrill.
Marrill looks sad and desperate to get back, but after getting a certain distance away Togepi's mind-control fades and it shakes it's head as if to clear it.
Realising what a bullet it has just dodged, Marrill laughs with relief, sorry for Misty but not sorry enough to become the psychotic little Egg Thingy's living plaything.
That, unfortunately, is a fate destined for Misty, once more reduced to the dull, pale version of the real Misty we know, love, and miss with all of our hearts.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Please tell me your name so that I may emblazen it upon my heart"
 "Huh?" "Shake 'em up, Jimmy Boy!" |
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