121: Snubbull Snobbery
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"I wouldn't even want to mow them," mutters Ash, a little awed by whole scene. After all, he's just a poor, dumb white trash kid with no knowledge of sprawling manions and large lawns.
Little does he know (really!) that his family lineage is even more superior to those of Palm Hill, for he is a bastard child of the mighty Oak family.
"Wouldn't it be fun to play Hide and Seek in a place that big," chuckles Misty girlishly.
Ahhh yes, we do sometimes forget she's barely into her teens, and likely more interested in dolls and tea-party's than making out with, say, Ash.
Yeah, right.
"I wonder if they'll let us camp out in the lawn for the night?" wonders Brock.
"Somehow I don't think so," chuckles Misty, who - though she may have been all girlish a moment ago - is nobody's fool.
Although Ash is fast becoming her bitch.
The kids turn to leave when they notice that a group of distinguished looking gentlemen are searching about for something, concern obvious even through their impervious stiff upper lip.
The leader of the bunch tells the others to go look over somewhere else while he attempts to keep Madam from coming over in a nervous fit, and they head off to find... what?
Who gives a damn, as Misty turns around with wide eyes and informs them that she and Togepi have discovered a map to show them where the stars are.
"Big deal," mutters Ash, figuring he already knows where all the stars are. As usual, Ash just doesn't get it, and believes Misty is talking about Astronomy.
"Not stars, movie stars silly," chuckles Misty, still with that wide eyed look, telling them that with that map they can go see the houses where the stars live.
Ahhh, that evil, evil Togepi has done it again, conjuring up a map with it's psychic powers, using Misty to coerce the others into coming along with it to discover and sink it's lecherous claws into celebrities, using their power and wealth to gain more for it's own dark purposes.
Brock is hardly interested, however, telling Misty that there is nothing exciting to be found in looking at boring old houses.
Togepi strikes quickly, making the usually jealous as hell Misty tell Brock that many of his favorite actresses live in these boring old houses.
"So what are we waiting for?" asks Brock merrily, setting out on his way to fame, fortune and sex until what appears to be an extremely happy Growlithe rounds the corner, charging towards them, smoke pluming up behind it.
It skids to a halt in front of Ash, obviously not as happy as it first appeared. Ash asks it to calm down, telling it that they can't help until it stops hopping up and down, but then he spots a pink blob gripping tightly to Growlithe's tail before the angry Dog/Tiger flicks it off and runs away.
And looky here, it's a Snubbull.
You might remember this hideous monstrosity from Pikachu's Summer Vacation, but have no fear, in this case it's actually kind of cute rather than incredily irritating, maybe due to the little bow ties in it's ears and blue collar, plus that determined little pugnacious face.
"Snubbull," Dexter informs them, "The Fairy Pokemon, while it may appear gruff and grumpy, deep down, Snubbulll is a kind, and caring Pokemon."
Misty, always one to judge on first impressions (it's how her infatuation with Ash began) comments that it must be kind and caring way DEEP down, to which Snubbull replies with a short Snubbull of dignified offense.
"Snubbull!"
Brock decides an expert's touch is needed here, gently moving towards Snubbull and speaking to it, telling it that it won't snub him, he's sure.
Misty notes the pink bows in Snubbull's hair and they all come to the incredibly sexist conclusion that this means Snubbull is a girl.
"A grumpy girl that isn't afraid to chase Pokemon," laughs Ash, leaving common sense and a desire to live longer than 3 seconds way behind him, "Kind of reminds me of Misty in a way."
Both Misty and Snubbull take great offense at this (check out Togepi's hideously laughing face) and they prepare to Layeth The Smacketh Damn on Ash's candy-ass as the idiot boy too late realizes what he's done and hurriedly mutters, "In a good way!"
He's saved by The British, however, as one of the Gentlemen from earlier smoothly strides into view and informs someone out of shot that her Snubbull has been found.
The ground shakes and pools of water ripple as a thunderous, walking typhoon of corpulent destruction draped in a moo-moo arrives on the scene.
The blue-haired old biddy is extremely pleased to have Snubbull back, explaining to the kids that it went missing the previous night and she's been in a state of panic ever since.
She instantly lifts Snubbull up, the horrified Pokemon trying desperately to struggle free, wanting nothing to do with the old bat, embarassing her in front of the children she wants to thank for saving her Snubbull.
And thank them she does, back at The Mansion where they ride in a Jetsons like conveyer belt down the long driveway. Ash and Misty liken it to being at an airport (the one form of transportation we haven't seen the kids take yet!) while Brock takes the opportunity to look about, coming to the remarkable conclusion that the valiantly struggling Snubbull doesn't want to be there.
Still, Freeloader Ash has never been one to turn down free lodgings or a meal, and they ignore the poor Pokemon's plight for the time being.
Enraptured by the luxurious surroundings in Madam's Mansion, they're treatest to the sight of first a Saturday bedroom (one for each day of the week!), then a walk-in closet (or a drive-in closet as Misty notes, it seems Madam can't bear the thought of Snubbull wearing the same thing twice) and then to the Gym.
None of these things are Madam's, however, but Snubbull's, these massive, opulently appointed rooms are simply the Pokemon's rooms, Madam's own are obviously far more luxurious.
A horrifying scene ensues inside the Gyn, as we are forced to watch Pikachu charging in terror from Togepi, the monstrous egg-type thingy clinging to it's tail, laughing maniacally as it forces a happy grin onto Pikahu's features and casts an illusion about the terrified French Rodent so that it doesn't realize they're on a small treadmill.
The kids ignore the abuse, thinking the two Pokemon are playing, and instead look around Snubbull's gym, which oddly appears to have human sized equipment.
Finally they are taken to a giant Hot Spa where Pikachu and Togepi relax in the soothing waters before a giant clock rings for Snubbull's lunchtime, meaning that they all retreat to the humble little Breakfast Nook, which is bigger than any Dining Room Misty has ever dined in.
They are served up with a sumptuous array of the finest foods, Ash commenting that even the food is rich, and after recieving Madam's go-ahead, they chow down eagerly, enjoying the fine cuisine.
Odd, isn't it, that the kids don't call it hamburger's and french fries or ice-cream with chocolate sprinkles or doughnuts or fried chicken with all the chittlings.
Maybe, just maybe the Translators have realized they can't continue to blatantly lie to the World's children.
Snubbull isn't hungry though, and Madam asks the Chef to clear the table (ahh decadance, the French themselves would be proud, eh Pikachu?) and bring something else.
The horrendously stereotypical French Chef informs her that he has tried everything, but Brock has a little down-home offering for Snubbull, reaching into his Gym Bag and pulling out.... Popcorn balls?
Ash tells Brock that even he can't stand those horrible Popcorn Balls, but Snubbull chows down eagerly, happy to finally eat something that isn't so rich.
Popcorn Balls?
So, The Translators haven't decided to stop blatantly lying to the World's Children after all, they were just setting us up for a massive fall.
Popcorn Balls? Sushi Rolls are now Popcorn Balls?
Hmmm, I guess that's better than jelly filled Doughnuts.
(Dodgemaster's Notes: Soon after this, Brock burst into the room and lifted us off of our feet with his mighty arms, screaming angrily into our faces that nothing, NOTHING! Beats a Jelly Filled Doughnut.)
Indeed.
Outside the Mansion, meanwhile, who should pop up from behind a hedge but... yes! It's our beloved Team Rocket.
They step into the sprawling lawn and look about, noting how great everything is, thinking whoever owns the place must have more dough than a Pizza Place.
"They probably have the pizza place too," growls Jesse, "That's the way it is with the upper crust."
"James should know," laughs Meowth, "He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth."
"It's true," notes James, "But we had to have it removed to make room for my foot.
Ahh James, even in your youth you had a propensity for taking foreign objects into your mouth!
EWWWW!
Jesse drags Meowth and James to poolside, where they settle down to enjoy both the rays of the sun and also shade from umbrella's when it gets too hot.
James tells them about how hard it can be growing up as a rich kid, how it is so easy to get bored.
In fact he remembers when he was just a tiny tot and got so bored the servants had to take him fishing in their own pool, which was simply devestating as they can imagine, as he caught no fish.
This is accompanied by a beaming smile and a flailing wrist, as he happily, gayly recalls his youth.
But Jesse and Meowth are furious, the only pool Meowth ever had as a young kitten was a cesspool, and he threatens to take every bone in James' body and let them know how it feels to be broke.
They decide to sneak in and steal some stuff, figuring that the owners will never hear a thing, what with all the money coming out of their ears.
Meowth leads the way, crawling right into an enraptured Snubbull, who responds instantly by reaching out with it's tongue and licking right up Meowth's face.
How Snubbull got free of Madam's clutchs is never explained.
The Scratch-Cat is stunned by this incredibly forward first encounter, finally regaining his senses to leap back and cry out to Jesse to identufy what that thing is.
"I don't know," admits Jesse, being a great help.
"I think," starts James, "It's a Snubbull."
Suddenly the alarms go off and Team Rocket are up in an instant, facing three upper crust British chaps charging towards them. They turn and run, giving Snubbull a good, hard look at the gently bobbing tail of Meowth as he runs with the speed and grace of a slow-motioned Pamela Anderson.
Snubbull can't resist and bites down hard on Meowth's tail, slowing the shocked Scratch-Cat until Jesse has to charge back and take control of the situation. She's already been humiliated and made to feel small by Misty who had explained that they were invited guests into the Mansion, and Jesse takes out her fury on Meowth, lifting him high and swinging him around, Snubbull smacking into the Servants, Ash, Misty, Brock and finally tearing clear of Meowth's tail and sailing into Madam's hands, where it struggles agonizingly to be free and back with it's beloved Meowth.
James throws out Weezing.....
DIE WEEZING! DIE! RETURN THE KOFFING!
....return the Koffing....
.....which uses it's Smoke-Screen to block their path as they charge away, Meowth's tail bobbing along as Snubbull watches in denied lust.
Later on we find Brock trying gently to inform the Madam that her Snubbull is unhappy, but she is having nothing of it, telling Brock that it's just nervousness coming about from it being her wedding day. She explains to the surprised kids that Snubbull had been acting so grumpy that she decided it must be lonely and has organized a Society Wedding between her and another Snubbull.
She shows the eager kids the picture, Ash singing Here Comes The Groom before they gasp in shock at the sight of a Snubbull standing up straight, one hand behind it's back, the other holding a diamond tipped came, a bone clenched firmly in it's mouth, a monocle over it's left eye and a top-hat.
Yep, a real catch, it's the Mr. Peanut of Snubbull High Society.
Madam thinks Winthrop is a real dreamboat, but Misty whispers to Ash that she thinks Snubbull is trying to run away to avoid the wedding, while Brock tells them that Snubbull is trying to get free from the constrictive bonds that Madam keeps on it through the house, it's timetable and her fleshy, saggy arms.
Ewww.
Madam invites them to the wedding and they accept, but with ulterior motives in mind. The kids are going to help Snubbull to get away from the horrible half-life it leads.
But first we're greeted with the sight of James hunched over Meowth, hands at work as Meowth is bent over on all fours, looking back at James with a fearful look on his face.
GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!
James is just bandaging up Meowth's tail, you sick little freaks.
"Let's get outta here before this tale gets anymore patetic," moans Meowth with one of the more hideous puns he's ever used, and he gets his PUN-ishment when Jesse, who has decided she wants Snubbull, decides to use him as Snubbull Bait.
Two Madams sit with Snubbull's on their laps, complimenting each other and commenting that their two Snubbull's are perfect for each other, but Brock has had enough, and joiined by Ash and Misty they attempt to convince the two old biddies that their Baby-Substitutes are being smothered and need to be let loose to run free.
But before any of that can happen, it's Team Rocket time, kids.
"Prepare for Snubbull trouble!" cries Jesse.
"Make it double trouble Snubbull!" laughs James.
"To protect the world from devestation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse!"
"James!"
"Meowth that's right!" getting lowered down by Jesse and James.
They lower Meowth to the ground and Snubbull can't resist, grabbing Meowth's tail and being pulled to the rafters where Team Rocket celebrate finally having a victory.
Ash decides to help out, but Jesse responds by tossing out a series of ankle-cuffs which drop the kids to their stomachs, as James quips he thought they could use them as a pair of cuff-links.
Terrible joke.
Just terrible.
Team Rocket head away, laughing and celebrating, added to by Meowth when he states, "I'm in terrible pain here!"
Love that Meowth.
However, now that they've gotten the Snubbull they find themselves trapped in a shed, their getaway balloon inaccessible thanks to a screw up on Meowth's part. Jesse and James start yelling angrily at the Scratch Cat, but Snubbull steps in to defend it, leading Jesse to the conclusion that it really does like Meowth.
"What's not to like?" asks Meowth with a blush, and instantly Snubbull is biting his tail, making him run around in pain as Jesse and James note that, while Meowth and Snubbull may not be the best of friends, they are inseperable.
Ash appears to be leading the search (yep, a huge mansion, cops, servants, PI's, all co-ordinated by the little boy bastard child of Professor Samuel Oak).
Meowth bursts out of the shed in front of the trio, and when the police spot them too, Jesse sends out Arbok, who beats up on the cops while Weezing makes them cough.
KOFFING!
Ash calls out Heracross, who sucks pervertedly on some flowers, then uses it's Horn Attack to knock down Arbok and Weezing right onto Meowth and Snubbull.
When Snubbull sees Arbok's beautiful tail, it can't help but bite down, and as Arbok charges around screaming, Madam calls for it to stop while Brock calls for it to go on, suggesting to Madam that she instruct it to use it's Tackle Attack.
She does after some hesitation and Snubbull tackles Arbok to the ground, the snake tackling right back and pissing Grumpy Old Snubbull off, making it use it's Scary Face attack, which terrifies Arbok, makes Jesse and James hug in fear before Snubbull bites down again on Arbok's tail.
"I guess that's what you call a bite to the bitter end," mumbles Meowth, stroking his own injured tail, which still isn't enough to keep it from making terrible puns.
James sends out Victreebell, which swallows James before Snubbull charges and tackles, biting Victreebell's ass as the other Madam watches them with disgust. How could anything of any kind of breeding ever actually stoop so low as to engage in some kind of physical exertion.
Snubbull tosses Victreebell and James into Jesse and Meowth, and the cops arrive on the scene just as their Meowth Balloon arrives. they and their Pokemon leap inside and Ash calls for Heracross to stop them with it's Horn Attack.
The Horny Heracross has a better idea, however, won't it be more fun to actually assist them in getting away (maybe it likes James style?) so it smashes them off into the distance.
Looks like Team Rocket's flipping off again.
Haha! Team Rocket's Flipping off!
Snubbull watches them disappear into a glint, devestated at the loss of it's beloved Meowth's tail. The Trio and Madam tell Snubbull they're proud of it's efforts, but Snubbull just cries, wanting Meowth's tail back.
Later on, Madam thanks them for all the help they've given her, it seems she's built a new exercise yard for Snubbull that it can play and dance about inside and be a hippy child and all that good shit.
Madam says goodbye to The Trio as Snubbull plays about inside, then she turns and begins to chat with Jeeves, suggesting that they put in a fountain of some sort, suggesting all kinds of renovations as Snubbull stares at a vine and sees first Meowth's tail, then Meowth doing his Felix The Cat impersonation.
That's all the inspiration it needs, and with a quick lunge through the bushes, Snubbull enters the wilds in search of Team Rocket and true love.
Just like the littlest Hobo.
Sniff.
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 A grumpy girl that isn't afraid to chase
Pokemon, kind of reminds me of Misty in a way.
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