115: Double Trouble Header
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Holy Plot Device, Batman! There's a young girl with a Chikorita right now!
Wearing an old time Baseball Uniform and swinging a bat, the young girl is fantasising about making it to the Big Leagues and becoming a true star along with her Chikorita. This kind of harmless dream is what makes kids so great in most cases, unfortunately in Ash's case his hopeless dreams of glory have erroneously built up his own sense of self worth, making him think that he's something more than the bastard love child of Samuel Oak and Mrs. Ketchum.
Using his Pokedex, Ash gets some information on Chikorita, learning that it is a Leaf Pokemon and that it releases a sweet relaxing fragrance from it's head and tail.
"That head-band makes it look sporting!" giggles Misty girlishly, which just makes sense since that's what she is.
Brock theorises that the girl is a Pokemon Trainer just starting out, probably having got her Chikorita from Professor Elm in New Barktown, and they watch with interest as a Pokemon Battle begins.
A Ratatta emerges from the bushes to do battle with, as the young girl puts it, The Vegetation Sensation, The Grass-Type that will mow the competition down, the one, the only, CHIKORITA!
Chikorita begins with tackle attack, missing Ratatta the first time but connecting the next to knock out Ratatta and allow the girl to capture it.
"YES! Another victory for Team Casey!" laughs the girl before calling for her fans to rise and sing their victory song.
Being young, she plays the parts of Trainer/Commentator/Crowd and Fans and begins a little munchkin-like dance as she sings, "We all love Electabuzz no other teams the same! the players charge the field and electrify the game! the pitch and catch and run so quick, their baseball bats are thundersticks!"
She continues on, dancing happily as the camera trucks back to reveal a perplexed and worried group of Ash, Misty and Brock watching her. She finishes up and calls Chikorita back into her Pokeball, turning about and starting in shock as she finds herself facing the trio, who are also taken aback by the fury evident in her face.
She screams with fury and charges them, moving a mile a minute across the field towards them, eyes glinting with psychotic rage, her teeth fixed in a snarl as girly Ash squeals for mercy as she.... skids to a stop and gushes over his Pikachu.
Sigh, no matter how sporty she may appear, she's still a girl at heart.
She grabs Pikachu off of Ash and hugs it tight, pressing her cheek against Pikachu's own and sighing with contentment.
"Hey, easy there," warns Ash, knowing Pikachu French temper is likely to break free at any minute, "That's a high voltage Pikachu!"
"You think it would really shock me!" she gasps happily,"What a blast, I've always wondered what that's like! Come on Pikachu, turn on the juice! Give me a taste!"
A perplexed Pikachu figures it better do as she asks and gets ready to Thundershock her, but Ash warns it that she doesn't know what she's asking.
"Come on you little rat!" snaps Casey, "Give me a jolt!"
A shocked and angry Pikachu figures, what the hell, and begins to power up again.
"Don't Pikachu!" cries Ash and grabs Pikachu just as it lets loose, blasting both of them.
"Bad idea," coughs Casey.
"I tried to tell ya," moans Ash.
"Thanks a lot," she croaks.
"Don't mention it," he's just able to reply before dropping to the ground, revealing the resigned, pitying looks of Brock and Misty and the unholy glee apparent on Togepi's evil features.
After a terrible pun on Misty's part they retire to a fallen tree, which the trio sit on, as Casey settles down on the stump. She introduces herself, telling them she's a huge Baseball fan and just became a Pokemon Trainer.
Brock's theory is proven right, she did receive her Chikorita from the long-winded Professor Elm, which causes Ash to stare up at Brock with open admiration before he introduces himself as Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town.
"And I'm Brock," Brock informs her.
"Everybody calls me Misty," says Misty.
Um, is that because your name is Misty, Misty?
Casey removes her hat and tells them she's pleased to meet them, and Pikachu happily pika's at her, making her eyes wobble and her knees go weak as she leaps beside Pikachu and tells them all how she finds yellow Pokemon with stripes so adorable. She longs to one day capture an Electabuzz and then, sometime far in the future, have a whole collection of Yellow Pokemon with stripes.
Well, it's a theme we guess.
Ash asks the question on everybody's mind, why does she like Yellow Pokemon with stripes so much?
It seems that for three generations, Casey's family has rooted for The Electabuzz Baseball team, which - as Brock comments - may explain why she's so full of energy.
"But doesn't The Electabuzz team always finish in last place?" asks Ash.
"This season's going to be different!" she demands with the strident self-belief evident in fans of losing sports teams..... just ask any fan of an English Team in an International Competition, "This season The Electabuzz are going to win the series!"
"No way!" laughs Ash, "The Electabuzz don't stand a chance against Teams like The Magikarp or The Starmie."
Casey demands that he take that back, claiming that The Electabuzz have some great hitters.
"Those aren't hitters," laughs Ash, "I've seen better swings on a playground!"
Casey is livid, furious at having the honour and ability of her favourite Team smashed like this. She demands a Pokemon Battle from Ash, shocking the little punk who knows that she doesn't stand a chance against him, given that he is an experienced Trainer.
Something we often forget, despite Ash's stubbornness, stupidity and illegitimate origins, he is a very talented Trainer with a pretty good record, whereas Casey is still starting out as a Pokemon Trainer and obviously no match for Ash.
Misty can't believe they've finally found someone as hot-headed and stubborn as Ash (look in a mirror recently, Misty?) but when Casey calls Ash a little wimp, claiming her knows nothing about Baseball OR Pokemon, she drives the emotionally crippled little bastard into a rage and he agrees to battle her.
Casey calls for a three on three battle, but Ash knows he only needs one Pokemon to beat her, while Brock calls for Ash to go easy on her, given that she's just starting out.
Here is Ash's opportunity to prove his maturity, he can teach Casey a lesson, yes, but not a hard one. He can let her down gently by using his different Pokemon, showing the skills that he and they have amassed over the course of their journeys, letting her know that with time and patience she, too, can amass such skills.
So what does Ash do?
He calls out Charizard.
Brock is shocked by this selection, as he remembers Charizard's inability to follow orders so long ago (and conveniently forgets Ash calling out Charizard just the previous day in New Barktown).
"This match is going to be a shut-out!" gasps Misty.
Casey has chosen Pidgey to battle with first (sending Ash on a trip down memory lane as the 'old-timer' recalls when he was first starting out as a Pokemon Trainer) but it doesn't stand a chance against Charizard, the Kick-Ass Type Pokemon.
Pidgey uses Quick Attack, slamming into Charizard's belly and giving itself a head-ache before Charizard snorts it to the ground, knocking it out.
Casey is shocked by such an easy defeat, recalling Pidgey and pitching out Ratatta.
Ratatta uses Tackle attack, charging with reckless abandon towards Charizard, leaping majestically through the air and slamming head-first into Charizard's belly, knocking itself out.
Casey can't believe she's 0 for 2 all ready, recalling Ratatta and sending out the last of her Pokemon, The Vegetation Sensation, Chikorita.
Chikorita uses Vine-Whip, wrapping it's vines around Charizard's neck choking the might monster into submission.... or rather, that's Casey's hope.
What actually happens is Charizard appears to be completely oblivious to the vines and actually listens when Ash tells it to use Flame-Thrower... but go easy on her.
Charizard sends out a little puff of fire which sails by Chikorita, catching the leaf atop it's head on fire and sending it into a panic, making it charge around in circles, getting dizzy and knocking itself out.
Brock throws his arm in the air American Bad-Ass style and, in a display of total unnecessity, proclaims that Chikorita is unable to battle and Ash is the winner.
Well done Ash, beat up on a little girl, whydontcha, howabout tomorrow you get in a boxing match with a two year old?
Little punk.
"I can't believe it was a total shut-out," moans Casey, dropping to her knees in dismay.
Yes, old Casey (or should it be young Casey?) has struck out.
She calls Chikorita back and starts crying as Brock and Misty try and console her, telling her she did great for a rookie.
Ash, magnanimous as hell following the ass-kicking he just gave her, extends his hand and asks if she wants to be friends, and she runs away crying like a kid in an American Sitcom.
"It must be tough for a kid that tough to lose," comments Brock.
"It's tough on anyone," corrects Misty.
"Yeah, but that's what happens when you challenge a great Trainer," adds Ash with stunning humility and grace, the little schmuck.
"You should know all about that, huh?" goads Misty, giving Ash a funny little look and poking his shoulder with her elbow, making him giggle nervously.
Okay, we realise that was 'supposed' to be a dig at Ash always challenging better Trainer's than himself and his own realisation of the fact, but the way Misty said it and the look on her face makes it look more like she's buttering her honey up, telling him he is a great Trainer and making him blush with happiness.
Still, all this is unimportant, look at Togepi's face. It's mouth has fallen open in a delayed reaction of humour at seeing someone receive a severe ass-beating.
Evil little monster.
Casey runs in tears, tripping over and crying into the ground, calling for her Daddy and her Grandfather. She recalls her family gathered in front of the house to see her off on her Pokemon Journey and her father telling her that she is the first to ever attempt to become a Pokemon Trainer, the first thing they will ever cheer for other than The Electabuzz Baseball team.
Her father tells her to take a lesson from the Electabuzz and never give up, and then the family chants her name as she sets off, promising them that she'll never give up.
Her determination renewed, she gets back up and, against a backdrop of exploding lava, cries out her fury towards the world, proclaiming that she'll never give up.
Suddenly she hears clapping and looks wildly about the woods in surprise as an extremely familiar voice proclaims.
"Spoken like a true Electabuzz fan!"
"With guts like that," continues another familiar voice, "You're bound to beat that twerp next time!"
Suddenly three figures drop from the trees, dressed out in Electabuzz regalia. Jesse, James and Meowth of Team Rocket have arrived!
They chant a victory cheer for Electabuzz as a confused Casey looks on, all of them looking very good in their Electabuzz gear, especially Jesse, whose skirt looks shorter than ever.
They tell her that they are rabid Electabuzz fans and that they watched her battle that Little League twerp, figuring that she should have won it.
She looks unsure about that, getting depressed again, but James happily tells her not to feel down, as he's beaten them a million times and....
"Ooooh!" he grunts as Jesse slams an elbow into his stomach, waving his hands about in surprise.
"My FRIEND means," finishes Jesse, stressing friend because she is tired of silly people thinking that her and James could possibly be romantically involved, "That you never stood a chance against that no good, conniving, sneak of a traitor."
"You mean... Ash is a cheater?" asks a surprised Casey. "A big one!" nods Jesse.
"But not as big as we are!" laughs James, before wobbling his body about and shaking his hands as Jesse stamps on his foot, then head butts him over.
"Just between you and me, that twerps got a reputation for violating a little known Pokemon rule that forbids using a Charizard against new Pokemon Trainer's, "Jesse tells a now furious Casey, "And then laughing about it behind their back."
"And he's probably telling his friends what a chump that Electabuzz fan is," nods Meowth with a zen-like nod.
Casey is now more determined than ever to teach Ash a lesson, goaded on by Team Rocket who tell her to do it for all the other fans he's cheated, do it for The Electabuzz.
"JUST DO IT!" screams Meowth, over-come by rampant commericalization.
"Yeah!" cries Casey, let's go beat that cheater!" Well, obviously something happens after this we're not privy too, as suddenly we're at a Baseball stadium, Ash and Casey facing off once again as Misty and Brock sit in the Player's Pit watching.
Casey tells him that this times things are going to be different, but Ash, who only an hour ago wanted to be friends, tells her that the only thing different this time is that she'll be 0 for 2.
"You're not going to beat me!" yells Casey angrily, "Let me tell you something, Mr. All Star Trainer, don't think you're a Hall of Famer just cause you beat me exactly one time!"
This spirited tirade impresses Brock greatly, leaping up and throwing his arm up American Bad Ass style, crying out that that is the spirit.
"Ahhh Brock, aren't we supposed to be on Ash's side."
"I usually root for the underdog," explains Brock, "Because the underdog is usually Ash."
"I didn't think of that," admits Misty, "Destroy him, Casey!"
"Some friends they are," mutters Ash as Casey winds up and pitches out... Chikorita!
Ash throws in a few Baseball comments of his own, noting to Pikachu that they're going to sweep up the double header, and now it's Pikachu's turn to step up to the plate.
"I may still be a rookie!" growls Casey,"But you're not going to fool me with your dirty tricks like you did in our first battle! Chikorita, Sweet-Scent Attack!"
Chikorita lowers it's head and points it's leaf forward, blasting out a fine mist of Sweet-Scent which washes over Ash and Pikachu, making them visibly sag. "Ahhh," moans Ash like a boy peeing in a pool, "It's so relaxing."
Chikorita uses it's Tackle Attack to knock down Pikachu as, up in the scoreboard Team Rocket are watching, running commentary provided by Jesse.
It seems their plan is to let Ash and Casey wear out their Pokemon in battle so that they can swoop in and capture them, and to keep Casey fired up Meowth has set up some simple robots dressed in Electabuzz gear to cheer her on.
It's really quite disturbing to watch the robots blindly cry out their motto, "Gotta catch 'em all! Gotta catch 'em all!" in a terrifying example of the blind desires of children to do conform and purchase all of the products.
Plus they're kind of goofy.
Casey is fooled, however, and tells Ash it's time to even up the score.
Not if Ash can help it, however, as he cries out for Pikachu to use it's Thundershock attack. It fails of course, given that Chikorita is a Grass-Type Pokemon, which are strong against electric attacks, and a quick Tackle later see's Pikachu knocked down.
"It's a line drive!" gasps Ash.
"Nice hit!" laughs Casey.
Meowth decides it's time to bring out the big hitter in The Team Rocket line-up, and besides Ash a giant tank with two huge hands spinning a giant bat appears.
"Huh? What's that?" asks Ash, not getting it as usual.
Casey refuses to listen, proclaiming to Ash that he knows, they told her he was a cheater and this proves it.
"What are you talking about!?!" snaps Ash,"I don't need to cheat to win, you're the cheater, I can win fair and square!"
Ahhh mature Ash, next time why don't you just cry out, "I know you are but what am I?"
The tank ignores them both, driving straight for Chikorita, and when Pikachu uselessly jumps in to protect them they both get slammed by the bat across the length of the field, or, as Jesse puts it, "They're hit deep to straight away centre field!"
"They could be out of here!" cries Meowth. "A home-run!" laughs Jesse as they fall past the fence and a shower of fire-works lights up, "And now we'll run home with our two new Pokemon!"
"Listen up twerps, it's prepare for trouble day!" laughs Jesse as she and James rise up facing the other way, wearing Baseball Uniforms.
"But you're both out, which makes it a double play!" continues James.
"To protect our team from devastation!"
"To excite our side with a big ovation!"
"To strike out the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach with a baseball glove!"
"Jesse!" says Jesse, dressed as a pitcher.
"James!" adds James, dressed as Short-Stop.
"Team Rocket throws our fastballs at the speed of light!" laughs Jesse, pitching one in to James, as Meowth proclaims.
"STRIKE THREE!
"WE WON JESSE!" laughs James, tossing off his mask and charging towards his friend.
"JAMES!" she cries, enraptured with their victory.
They hug bravely in the light of a setting sun as Meowth appears from behind a tree, crying happily and, for some bizarre reason, wearing an apron.
"That's Team Rocket," growls Ash.
"Huh!?! It is!" cries Casey, shocked.
We can see how it would have been hard to figure out, though, what with the big R's all over their uniforms and all.
James apologises for having to hit and run while Meowth tells Ash that he'll trow him a curve, some sinkers and sliders too, pushing a button and telling him he's going to have a ball with this.
Several pitching machines slide up and begin firing baseballs at Ash and Casey. Ash is, of course, too stupid to actually move out of the way of the balls while Casey desperately tries to dodge them, crying out that she gives up, she gives up!
"We can't just give up and let Team Rocket get our Pokemon," snaps Ash, then turns bravely into the white light, baseballs disappearing as he bravely proclaims, "A Pokemon Match is just like Baseball, you've got to take what the other team throws at you."
Casey is enraptured in his words, mistaking (much like Misty once did) the vacant, stupid look in his eyes for some deep, zen like mysticism.
He turns to glare at the approaching Baseballs, telling her you have to hang in there, and maybe you'll get that big hit.
He then gets smacked over by the baseballs and remembers that their is one big difference between a Pokemon Match and a Baseball game, that being that a Pokeball isn't a beanball.
Casey isn't done, however, whipping out her baseball bat and magically hitting all 29'000 balls coming her way back at Team Rocket.
James yells at Meowth, since the Scratch-Cat told them he had everything under control, but Meowth has just remembered he always loses control in the later innings.
"She's batting a thousand!" laughs Brock, way off in the distance where he and Misty have just been watching Team Rocket without offering to help in any way, shape or form.
"She's hitting everything they're throwing at her!" laughs Misty, still not helping.
Even Team Rocket's robots, being conformists and populists like most young children, have begun chanting for Casey, calling for her to hit them all, gotta hit them all.
Ash sends out Bulbasaur and Squirtle and Casey pitches in Pidgey and Ratatta, and they all begin slamming the Baseballs back at Team Rocket, hitting James in the bum and making him go oooh! smacking Jesse in the leg and creaming Meowth dead-centre BANG in the face.
Ratatta slams James in the gut and then Pidgey slams past his face, causing him to drop Pikachu and Chikorita.
"Glad you're back on the team, Pikachu," says Ash, catching it as it falls.
"Are you ready to send them to the showers?" Casey asks Chikorita.
..
Forget it, we're not going to say a thing.
"Well, looks like we're going to go into extra innings," quips Ash.
"But I've got a feeling this game is going to be called, on account of pain," puns Casey horribly.
Chikorita uses Razor Leaf attack to cut up Team Rocket's clothes, fur and beautiful, beautiful hair before Pikachu uses Thundershock to shock them and they're finished off by a Double Tackle attack from Pikachu and Chikorita, and before we know it Team Rocket's striking out again.
"Goodbye!" laugh Ash and Casey together.
"Woah!" laughs Misty, still standing where her and Brock were throughout the fight, not helping at all,"Team Rocket's right out of the park."
"Who would have thought those three flops would make such a big hit!" jokes Brock.
Ash and Casey share a high five and then, as the sun sets, Casey asks Ash to forgive her for falling for Team Rocket's tricks. Ash tells her that when he was a rookie he fell for their tricks too, and Misty jokes to him that that was a long time ago as Brock makes a show of not being able to believe it.
Casey butters up Ash by telling him she hopes to one day be a great Pokemon Trainer like he is, and he tells her he's going to train even harder knowing she'll be tough to beat.
She comments that they might one day meet in The Johto League, then tells Pikachu she hopes to one day have Pokemon as brave and beautiful as it is before she turns and leaves.
Hmmmmmmmm," hmmmmmmmms Brock, stroking his chin and going a little red, "That Casey's going to be a very interesting young lady, I wonder if she has an older sister?"
Misty just smiles and drops her head as a look of total shock comes over Togepi's face (just look at the freaky thing if you don't believe us) and Ash interrupts them all by crying out that he can't wait to see her again.
"The next time we meet she won't be a rookie anymore," he states, relieving Misty who suddenly feared Ash might have a little thing for the young lady,"She'll be... a real pro!"
And with that, they turn and head in different directions, both heading for the same goal, The Johto League.
Well, quite frankly this episode was one of the most painful we've had to sit through. Not because it was a bad story, but simply due to the PUN-ishment of all those Baseball related jokes.
One or two would be fine, 10 or 20 would be tolerable, but we counted at least twenty seven thousand, four hundred and thirty seven separate incidents of PUN-ishing Baseball quips and we can say in all honesty that that really, really....
Drove us batty.
Make that 27,438.
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