114: Don't Touch That 'dile
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No, now it's a whole new world we live in, where everybody wants to be a master, everybody wants to show their skills, everybody wants to get their faster, and make their way to the top of the hill. And now we all know that, every time, we try, we're going to get a little bit better, each step, we climb, is one more step up the ladder.
Yes, it's a whole new place, with a brand new attitude, but we still gotta catch 'em all, and be the best that we can be.
DAMN BITCH! WE BE IN POKEMON JOHTO!
Yes, it's a whole new beginning to the show, with a new start up sequence featuring Ash, Misty and Brock along with a whole big bugger load of new Pokemon leaping about, including Mew and Mewtwo!
Yeah!
The only bad thing is that there's only a tiny little bit of Team Rocket in the new beginning, which kind of sucks since they're the real hero's of the show.
So, with Chubbo finally on his way to losing every possible form of virginity a guy can have, Ash is back to basics, training for a Pokemon League, heading out on a journey with Misty and Brock as his companions.
Man it feels good!
We pan down the trees to see Ash and co. walking through a foggy forest, looking a little glum and tired after the initial excitement of heading out on a new journey (a whopping 24 hours after their last one!) has worn out.
Pikachu pika's at Ash, looking up at an over-hanging branch, Ash looks up and realizes that it looks familiar, causing Misty to drop to her knees and throw her head back in despair.
Ash has been leading them in circles!
We thought you were going to bring a map, Misty, what price your brave words now?
What price now?
The two young lovers begin bickering angrily, both determined to get the upper hand over the other, letting off well over a years worth of sexual tension.
Ash tries a different tack, goading Misty, asking her to lead them out of the forest if she's so smart. Misty takes a look around and realizes just how lost they are, and reacts typically by getting angry back at Ash, telling him that she's trying to think, and when he replies that that is a new experience for her she gets even angrier, replying that she isn't the one who got them lost.....
They're about to snap into a surprised look and then slam together in a passionate kiss, rolling about on the floor, the crushed remains of evil, evil Togepi squashed between them when Brock prematurely interupts, shoving them apart and yelling that yelling never solved anything!!!!
Isn't it ironic?
Don't you think?
He then tells them that they have to learn to be more mature like he is, but they're not listening, more concerned by Togepi's odd behavior.
The mad monster casts it's eyes about, pupils rolling wildly as it senses something, some dark, mysterious presence or power which appeals to Togepi. Maybe it can make this power it's own, add it's strength to it's own and quicken it's evil schemes to take over the very world itself!
Sinking psychic tendrils into Pikachu's head, it drags the cute little French Rodent after it. which of course means Ash has to follow, and Misty and Brock rush after him.
They run along until the screech to a halt, shocked to see a wolf-like creature crouching on a stone set in the middle of a pool. It is more like a shadow than a real creature, and tendrils of black smoke rise of it's back as it shines with a strange luminescence.
Ash is in shocked awe as Brock notes it's a Pokemon and Misty gasps, "It's beautiful."
"It sure is," murmurs Ash before it leaps off of the rock and disappears into thin air.
Ash, never the brightest spark, charges forward and plummets down the hill-side, followed quickly by Pikachu, Misty and Brock, Togepi also following in the hopes of getting it's hooks into the strange Pokemon. Jigglypuff bounces by the recently vacated spot, looks down and sees them and with the joyous indifference which made Koffing so loved, leaps down the hill after them, skidding along on it's ass.
Meanwhile, three shadowy figures glumly traipse along the forest, complaining that they'll never find their way out of there, but despite the shadows and fog there is no mistaking THOSE figures and THOSE voices.
It's Team Rocket!
Suddenly the fog lifts and Jesse freezes to a stop, noting that it seems the fog has lifted.
James clutches his hands girlishly to his cheek and lifts a leg happily, crying out, "Hot diggety dog!"
He's so.... no, we don't even need to say it, you all know what it's about!
"Let's go get some lunch!" cries Meowth, and Team Rocket begin running, zooming through the forest until they get extremely tired and stop. They collapse against each other, panting for breath, then look up and find themselves in front of a huge building.
"It looks like a University," suggests James.
"Yeah, or even some kind of school!" adds Meowth helpfully.
Jesse is extremely excited to be in this Insitution Of Higher Learning, knowing that, like all good University's, this one will have that most important of all faculties.
The Cafeteria!
At which point of flock of fearsome Fearow zoom by, terrifying Team Rocket who leap inside the closest building, hugging each other close and PUNishing us all by claiming.
"This is for the birds!"
"Is that you Nurse Joy?" asks a nerdy voice, and they start in fright before turning to see a Scientist-Nerd-Boy peering into some fancy schmancy piece of expensive equipment. He tells them, without looking at them, that he's surprised she was able to make it on such short notice and it's his fault for leaving it so long to call her.
The Pokemon he wants her to look at is around somewhere.
"Pokemon?" asks Jesse, and then does a hilarious (and spot on!) impersonation of Nurse Joy, which raises James ire as he gasps in pure homosexual affront at this blatant fakery. She grabs him by the head and noogies him remorsefully in his eyeball, asking the Scientist-Nerd-Boy what he wants her to do.
"What we discussed, a complete check-up for the Totodile," he replies.
"Totodile?" ask Jesse and James together before Meowth begins to scream and they have to grab him to shut him up. Looking down over his body they see that a blue, cartoonish gator thing is biting Meowth's tail. It releases it and stands up, smiling and identifying itself.
"Totodile."
It then hits James' with a Water Gun attack, ruining his marvelous hair and infuriating him to no end. Before he can bitch slap The Totodile, however, Jesse scoops it up in one arm, then James and Meowth in the other, showing remarkable strength as she balances them both under her arms while standing on one foot AND opening the door.
She then promises the Scientist-Nerd-Boy she take it right over to the Pokemon Centre and legs it.
"Thanks Nurse Joy, great to see you," murmurs The Scientist, his neck having moved not one inch.
Beware it, boys and girls, this is what study and learning does to you, detaches you from the real world and leaves you a shadowy ghost of a human with neither the desire, nor the ability, to interact with the rest of humanity!
Or is that gross phsyical violence to the cranial region with a lead pipe from an angry tranvestite pimp?
We always get those two mixed up.
Coming to the edge of the forest, Ash, Misty and Brock are so exhausted that they can't stan up straight and, in Ash's case, can't even walk upright! The boy's on all fours!
They're too tired to go on, but become quickly refreshed when they spot a sign up ahead which reads New Barktown.
Good thing the sign was there, too, or they never would have seen the massive freaking city sreteching out onto the horizon in front of them!
Misty comments to Ash that they might spot another Pokemon like the mysterious one which fled from Togepi's all enveloping tendrils of power, and Ash is able, with a look on his face akin to constipation, force his tired little mind back a whole five minutes to remember that.
Brock bends over with his hands on his knees (GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!) and reads from the sign.
"New Barktown, this way to the town where the winds of new beginning blow."
When the spirits of our Indian Forefathers fail to show up in outrage, Brock gets extremely excited and leaps up, crying, "YES! Our new adventure starts right here!"
This illicits a tiny amount of outrage from our Indian Forefathers, who manage to blow Ash's coat up a small amount as he dramatically stares over the hill at New Barktown.
Ash allows himself a moment for a mad little delusion of grandeur, listening to the sounds of the people calling his name in his own head before he smell..... lalalalala'lels what they're cooking, then cries out heroically that he's ready.
Misty gets a little shocked at this rather bold proclamation, taking it the wrong way and asking Brock, "What do you think he's ready for, Brock?"
Projected a little of our own feelings onto Ash there, Misty?
"He means he's ready to overcome every obstacle, to achieve his ultimate destiny!"
"Oh... that," mutters Misty, looking a little disappointed.
Pikach leaps onto Ash's shoulder and they bravely pose together, warning The Johto League to watch out, cause here they come! He begins to bound away, but Brock - the voice of reason - grabs him by the shoulder and reminds him that he has to register first.
"Oh yeah," mutters Ash, "Then watch out Johto League! We're going to register!"
A battle-taunt to send shivers down the spine of the hardiest of Viking Conquerers, in't it!
Ash then reacquaints Brock with his freeloading tendencies by asking the tanned and toned Gym Leader if he has any cash in case they charge for Registration.
Brock and Misty strike poses for The Robot Dance, then Brock tells Ash that there is no Registration Fee, you just sign up, before turning on his heel and power-walking away.
Ash and Misty fall in behind him, walking side by side (awww, in't dat coot!) as Misty whispers to Ash that a Nurse Joy is likely to run the Pokemon Centre.
Waahhhh! Goofy Brock is back!
At The Pokemon Centre (one of the large, expensive variety like that found at Viridian City) Brock charges through the door and lets out a heartfelt gasp of love at being reunited with the one true love of his life, the only girl he's ever fallen for, Nurse Joy! (Nurse Jooooy!) but the pink thing that emerges from behind the desk is no Nurse Joy, unless she done gone and let herself go.
"Chansey!" cries Chansey, and Brock growls the obvious at it.
"Chansey? You're not Nurse Joy!"
Ash and Misty wander in and Chansey pushes a yellow button which lowers a t.v screen, upon which appears Nurse Joy's beaming face, much to Brock's delight.
"Ahhh, there she is!" he goggles happily.
Nurse Joy explains that she is away at Elm Laboratories, but should be back by 2pm, but as Misty notes, it's already 3:30. Ash just assumes she'll be back soon, but terminally horny Brock has gotten his juices fired up, and now there's no way he's going to simmer down anytime soon without seeing a Nurse Joy!
Thrusting his arms and head about with Jim Carrey like flexibility, he demands they go find and assist the obviously troubled young lady, and after a quick double eye-blink, Ash agrees.
Very important in debates, is the double eye-blink.
Tis.
A quick pan by some decapitated Pikachu heads later (kids are going to be in Therapy for years!) and the original Pokemon Trio (YEAH!) are walking by a large building surrounded by Police, including yet another familiar face.
Officer Jenny!
"I can't believe it's her!" gasps Brock, his face turning red and making a noise like a kettle as he spots the lazy, surly and oh so corrupt Officer Jenny.
He rushes to her side, having grabbed a bouquet of flowers somewhere along the way (hey, it's Brock!), and with a flourish he presents them to her as a token of his admiration.
Officer Jenny, not being too quick on the uptake, turns her head and huh's in her best Ash imitation as Brock goes all mysterious and eye-browy, suggesting that him and her get together this evening for a nice quiet....
Misty grabs him and pulls him away angrily, snapping that she has to haul him away before Officer Jenny does.
SURE MISTY!
Haha! Things are back to normal, with Misty caught in a bizarre love triangle between Ash and Brock, denying her feelings for both but getting aggressive and territorial whenever Brock spots a pretty girl.
It's Pokemon baby!
This leaves Ash staring with dull imcomprehension at Officer Jenny's breasts (don't believe us? watch the episode!) before asking her to direct him to Professor Elm's Lab.
Jenny tells this strange little boy whom she has never met before that this (official and off-limits) building they have cordoned off (to keep members of the public clear) IS Professor Elm's place.
"Looks like trouble!" cries Brock, having broken free of Misty's fierce grip (she's weakened slightly since they last travelled together, having spent more time under Togepi's influence), "Don't worry Officer Jenny, just leave this to me!"
He rushes inside, leaving a trail of dust and smoke behind. Ash charges in after Brock and an irritated (and jealous!) Misty zooms in after all of them.
Officer Jenny, lazy and surly as an Officer Jenny gets, weakly lifts one arm and calls out that they can't go in there.
Way to Serve and Protect, Officer Jenny.
Inside, Professor Elm is in a terrible state, compounded by the fact that Nurse Joy is standing nearby and these Scientist-Nerd-Boy types often get flummoxed around the fairer (and curvier!) sex. For her part, Nurse Joy is furious at Elm for allowing Team Rocket to get away with Totodile, as it belongs to a young trainer who is due to pick it up soon.
Elm's lame excuse is that he was busy watching microscopic group sex with a fetish theme or, as he puts it, an interesting cell division, and as Nurse Joy snaps at him about making excuses, Brock zooms up beside them and stands to full, erect attention before crying out.... GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA! before crying out, "Never fear! Brock is here!"
Nurse Joy and Professor Elm turn to stare in confusion at Brock, who takes the chance to grab Joy by her hands and, against a backdrop of love-hearts, tell her that she looks lovely today....
Jealous Misty slams in-between them, elbowing Brock out of the way.
"Save it, Romeo!" she snaps, "We don't have time for mushy stuff!"
Ahhh, we like a woman who wants to get straight into the action!
Ash wonders in again and starts to explain to Nurse Joy who they all are, but before he can Officer Jenny huffs her corrupt ass in and snaps that they can't be in here, a crime has been committed.
A POKEMON HAS BEEN STOLEN!
Outside, Professor Elm explains how three trainers are due to come and pick Pokemon from his lab (just as Ash did back in the very first episode) and, for some reason of the other, Totodile had all ready been picked for (or by) her. Of the other two, Chikorita has already been picked up, leaving now only Cyndaquil.
Cyndaquil looks cute, but it erupts with flames from it's back every so often. Such flammable flatulence is normal, however, at least according to Professor Elm.
Everyone seems quite taken with The Cyndaquil, including Togepi whose dark mind is obviously boiling and bubbling over with new ideas on how it could turn such powerful digestive juices to it's own evil purposes.
That evil, evil Togepi.
Ash excitedly tells Professor Elm how in his Hometown you got to choose between a Charmander, Squirtle and Bulbasaur, but he got Pikachu instead (because he slept in like a little punk!).
Elm clicks that this means he must come from Pallet Town, and asks if he knows Professor Samuel Oak.
Ash goes into excited little boy mode, telling Elm how Professor Oak is a great friend of his and how he even came over to his house for dinner the other night!
Silly boy, Oak is your Daddy and he's been coming over to your house now for years, just to get a little piece of Mrs. Ketchum's pie!
Brock, who knows Ash's mother and father just a LITTLE bit more intimately than the others, tells about what a great guy Oak is and asks Elm if they've ever meet.
Elm becomes furious, as Academics often do when they realize that regular people could give a shit about them. He launches himself into a tirade about how he was Oak's top student, while Nurse Joy quickly and effeciently removes Cyndaquil from his grasp.
It seems that Elm submitted a paper to Professor Oak back in University, a brilliant analysis of the hyperized-communicative properties of Pokemon! A truly ground-breaking work!
Sounds like a real bodice ripper!
Brock however, acts impressed, figuring that Academics must be big in this town and wanting to get a leg over with Officer Jenny OR Nurse Joy..... or hell, even both!
Elm, who appears to get even taller on his own self-belief, as Brock appears to shrink, goes on and on, complaining that Professor Oak didn't understand the genius of his work and only gave him an A minus, while off to the side Ash watches Misty tickle Cyndaquil.
Nurse Joy tells them that Elm might be a bit of a Hot-Head, but he does raise wonderful Pokemon, at which point we hear the socially maladjusted Professor proclaim that, despite his admiration for Professor Oak's work, he must consider him his personal enemy!
This gets everybody's startled attention (except Officer Jenny, who usually takes no interest in anything that doesn't involve a kick-back for her.
Misty is surprised at just how much Elm can talk, and it appears he can also write as he shows a now thoroughly comatose Brock his works, which apparently concentrate more on the unusual abilities of Pokemon rather than Oak and his concentration on Pokemon/Human Relations.... GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!
Nurse Joy, however, has her mind planted firmly in Da Gutta, wistfully saying that she wishes Elm would take a leaf out of Oak's book and.... we're sorry, all this Elm/Oak/Leaf/Ash/Ivy tree things are getting a little annoying!) out of Oak's book and do some research in the area of human relationships.
Ewwww! She wants to have freaky Professor love with him!
EWWWWW!!!!!
Ash, of course, doesn't get it and ignores this blatant cry for help from a sexually deprived woman (ask Brock, you fool!), telling her he's here to register for The Johto League. She apologizes for being so late and Misty tells them she only feels sorry for the poor Trainer coming to collect her Pokemon.
Ash tells of how he was so excited before getting his first Pokemon that he couldn't sleep the night before, and Misty devilishly adds that he then slept in till four the next day.
Ash seems a little shocked that Misty has this knowledge, not knowing the one common thing that has been torturing all men since civilized time began. Misty is a woman, so is Mrs. Ketchum.
Women talk Ash.
Oh how they talk.
They then proclaim that they'll stick around and help find the missing Totodile, at which point one of the forensic men rushes up to tell Officer Jenny of all developments, as she would have instructed him to (in order to later take the credit). They found no fingerprints, they did, however, find some interesting foot (and paw!) prints.
As the group looks on the obvious footprints, we cut to see Totodile clinging on happily to Jesse's hair as she runs away, demanding the filthy little thing let go of her beautiful hair.
She cries out for Meowth to get it off of her, but the Scratch Cat (which, along with James, is running behind her) just jokes that it looks like it's really attached to her. "Yeah," laughs James, "Don't let it go to your head!"
He and Meowth laugh as they run after Jesse, Meowth even crying out, "Good one, Jimmy!"
"Ooooaaaaoooo, thanks!" coos James gayly.
Which just seems right, doesn't it.
Running along the road not too far behind them is Growlithe and Pikachu, followed by Officer Jenny, Ash, Misty and Brock. It seems that Growlithe picked up a scent from Team Rocket's footprints and is now following it, which all seems just a little convenient, doesn't it... we mean, didn't Officer Jenny think to send Growlithe around to sniff out any scents?
The answer is of course she did, but she's just so lazy and surly she couldn't be stuffed doing it until someone went and found a spot to sniff.
In any case, Team Rocket have stopped on a park bench by a phone booth to give Jesse a chance to get the Totodile off of her hair.
James tells her to think of it as a Pokemon hair extension, but her gay friends hair-dressing tips don't help out today. She stamps her feet and complains that if she doesn't get it out her hair will fall out at the roots.
Meowth decides it's time to call The Boss and let him know that they've caught a Pokemon, but he's sent sprawling back onto his ass as Jesse knocks him back. She knows that, if Meowth rings, he'll get all the credit, which Meowth doesn't dispute, claiming that after all the times they've been humiliated (accompanied by images of Team Rocket Blasting Off Again) he deserves it.
The two begin fighting as James slowly gets up, walks past the arguing, punching and kicking duo, steps into the phone-booth, ignoring the yells and curses and insults and wet, smacking noise of fist against flesh.
He places a coin into the phone and prepares to push the number for Giovanni's Estate, then freezes and asks Jesse and Meowth, who have finally noticed him in the phone booth, if either knows what The Boss' Area Code is?
They're instantly on him, slamming him down to the ground onto his stomach, getting no resistance at first, it taking a few moments for him to fight his natural instincts.
Totodile is having a great time, clutching Jesse's hair and being whipped about, but the ride ends when a low barking noise is heard and they look up to see Growlithe, Pikachu, Ash, Misty, Brock and Officer Jenny rushing up to them.
Ash bravely proclaims the obvious, that it's Team Rocket, and Officer Jenny pulls out some handcuffs (we're surprised Brock didn't go over all goofy) and claims she's going to place all three of them under arrest.
How else can Team Rocket react but in the way they do?
"Prepare for Trouble," cries Jesse, her feet stepping into screen, "You can't take us in."
"Make it double," adds James, his feet moving up besides Jesse's, "We'll fight and we'll win!"
"To protect the world from devestation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
Totodile continues to hang determinedly from Jesse's beautiful hair, not that Dodgemaster Tim would have noticed, given the pose that Jesse is striking.
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse!"
"James"
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Meowth! That's right!"
"Could you repeat that?" asks a confused Officer Jenny.
Team Rocket collapse in shock.
Jesse angrily leaps back up (horny, sexually agitated young Poke-Philes should not she has her legs spread) and swings her head around and around, Totodile clinging gamely on, then informs them of the obvious fact that her and Totodile are inseperable.
Ash makes a heartfelt, sob-story case for the poor young Trainer who is coming to pick the Totodile up, asking Team Rocket if they have any conscience.
James looks a bit confused and mentions his conscience might be bothering him a bit, but Meowth steadfastly proclaims that he himself is unconscious, whereas Jesse admits she would be bothered, except that Team Rocket live their lives by a different ethical standard.
A kids show, is it?
And with that they're off, quickly running away from Officer Jenny, secure in the knowledge that she's too lazy and surly to do much else but yell at them.
Unfortunately for them, a tightly-wound package of repressed hormones in Ash Ketchum is around, and he sends out Bulbasaur to stop them. It uses it's Vine-Whip to trip Meowth, whom James trips over whom Jesse trips over, leaving them in a slightly more interesting version of their threesome than we're used to!
James, for some bizarre, masochistic reason, calls out Weezing - The Poster Child For Euthanasia - and demands the sad monstrosity use it's Smoke Screen attack, which it does, preventing Bulbasaur from finding a target for it's Vine Whip.
Ash reacts well enough, however, calling out Charizard which uses it's powerful wings to beat away the smoke, leaving a surprised Team Rocket exposed. Bulbasaur fires out it's Vine Whip, wrapping it around Totodile and pulling it back away from Jesse. It still refuses to let go of her beautiful hair however (who wouldn't!) and Bulbasaur has to give an almight tug to rip it free.
Jesse sobs in despair as she looks up her horrible split ends, but Meowth is more concerned with the scalping The Boss is going to give them when he finds out they lost Totodile.
He begins scratching and slashing at Jesse's beautiful face, but the fiery red-head has had about enough of Meowth's attempts to wrest leadership of the team back and grabs ahold of him, swinging him around and around and screaming at the furball to let her go.
Officer Jenny, spying a chance for an easy victory - raise, promotion, cigars and back-slaps at the Mayor's Office after hours - calls for Growlithe to finish things off, but Team Rocket is a Trio, and though he's the most submissive of the three, James can still command when he has to.
And darling, he's always a commanding presence!
He calls for Weezing - The Pokemon That Isn't - to use it's Sludge Attack. The Sludge slams right into Growlithes face, preventing it from seeing, unable to get the gunk out of it's eyes, nose, mouth and fur.
James tries to finish things off with Victreebell, which just goes straight for his head as always, sucking firmly on James' head with it's warm mouth.... GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!
Jesse sighs and sends out Lickitung, who gets hit by Squirtles Water Gun as Ash calls his own Pokemon out. A furious Jesse demands that all of their Pokemon attack and even sends out Arbok to join in, but Ash's Pokemon are far more powerful and the combine attacks of Pikachu, Bulbasaur, Squirtle and Charizard send Team Rocket's Pokemon Blasting Off.
Leaving Team Rocket.
The terrified Trio stare at the assembled Pokemon, who all growl and pose menacingly. Of course it's not Pikachu, Bulbasaur or Squirtle who scares them, but the furious Charizard, which is not to be crossed under any circumstances. Ash is about to command them to do away with Team Rocket as well, but Totodile steps forward to finish things off, using it's Water Gun attack to blast off Team Rocket.
Jesse decides to be fair and let Meowth ring The Boss this time, telling him this as they're blasted up through the air, he can tell him the same thing they always have to say.
Team Rocket's Messed Things Up Again.
Officer Jenny is disappointed there were no arrests, knowing as all corrupt Officer's know that you have to have a few scapegoat arrests every so often to please the people.
"You can take me into custody!" waaahs goofy Brock, but jealous Misty hauls him away again, telling lover-boy that he needs some time in solitary confinement.
HA!
Ash hands a confused Officer Jenny Totodile, pleasing the corrupt Officer as she realizes what a great Photo-Op she can make of this. She speaks some sentimental crap about how a young Trainer is going to be very happy, but Ash is, as usual, thinking only of himself and how he can now finally register for The Johto League.
Back at The Pokemon Centre they call up an agitated Professor Oak. He claims to be irritated because somebody always interupts his Soap Operas, but this is just a silly censorship/translation thing, he's actually irritated because he and Mrs. Ketchum were in the middle of breaking in a certain Chubby somebody.
Ash begins to tell his Daddy about his new adventure, but is interupted by Professor Elm (watch Professor Oak try not to let his face fall, it's hilarious!) who gradually shoves Ash and the others aside and begins yammering on to Oak, buttering him up nicely, as all students do to their mentors.
The original Trio (YEAH!) settled down on the couch as Misty sadly realises that they could be talking for hours, while Totodile hops on over to where they are sitting, heads on by and holds out it's arms to be picked up by Nurse Joy.
The nerd-struck Nurse asks where Professor Elm is, and they turn to see Elm yakkity-yakking (with no talk back!) to Oak and she knows he's going to be a while.
She takes Ash to be registered and approved to enter the Johto League, which is a simple matter of sliding his Poke-Dex into her computer, typing in a background check and getting back an approval.
And that's it, Ash is in The Johto League! Nurse Joy welcomes him as a participant and makes to hand him a Johto League Guide-Book, which is essential reading and should not be lost. Before he can take it, however, Brock rushes in and grabs it off of her, holding it against his chest.
"I'll hold it close to my heart, which is just where I hold you!" he gushes goofily.
Misty asks Nurse Joy how many badges he'll need to get to enter The League, and it's the familiar number eight. The best place to start, she suggests, is The Violet Gym in Violet City.
Misty seems pleased with this, figuring it must be a colorful city, while Brock notes that Ash can now start catching up with Gary Oak.
This leads to one of the dodgiest lines ever, when Ash swerves dramatically and cries out, "Look out Gary Oak! Because Ash Ketchum is right behind you!"
Make of it, what you will.
Officer Jenny, Nurse Joy, Professor Elm and Totodile wave goodbye to Ash, Misty and Brock as they head out towards Violet City, each happy for their own reasons, ranging from the academic to the sympathetic to the outright corrupt.
As The Narrator makes an horrendously politically incorrect statement about our Indian Forefathers, Ash bravely imitates John Travolta's walk from Saturday Night Fever and, following joyously behind, comes Jigglypuff!
Final Note by Dodgemaster Tim.
Pokemon Johto is evidentally what they're calling the new series of Pokemon, featuring the original Pokemon Trio of Ash, Misty and Brock.
More like Pokemon : Old School!
This is back to basics stuff, returning to all the same elements that got this supposedly too old for cartoons Dodgemaster so happily into Pokemon in the first place.
Ash Ketchum is on a journey to gain entry to a Pokemon Championship, needing to gain eight badges to do so. He's joined on his journeys by Misty, a girl infatuated with him but in denial of the fact, just as he himself in in denied love with her. He is also joined by tanned, toned, squinty-eyed, mature, mothering Brock, whose one weakness is an overwhelming desire for love from older girls.
Along every step of the way he's in contention with our beloved Team Rocket, trying to catch his and other Trainer's Pokemon to please their Billionaire Boss, Giovanni.
It's Pokemon the way it should be, and dammit I am pleased as punch, they even have an annoying ending just like the original series had, the Pokerap replaced by Pokemon Karaokemon.
The only thing that could make it perfect, the one thing I'm hanging out for, the one thing that would make this the best series ever of any show ever is this, my heartfelt cry to you, the fans, the people, big business, Nintendo and others.
Bring Back Koffing.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "I'll hold it close to my heart, which is just where I hold you!" "You two have to learn to be more mature, like me!""Chansey? You're not Nurse Joy!" "Hot diggety dog!" |
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