54: The Breeding Centre Secret
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How, you may have asked yourself, lying in bed at 3 in the morning tossing from side to side unable to sleep, has Giovanni kept his organisation running when he is represented by the successfully sexy but unsuccessfully evil J, J and M?
Well the answer is, he's got other punks out there doing the job that they can't.
One such pairing we will finally meet today, along with the creation of at least two new forms of 'shipping', but whether any of that is a good thing or not, remains as always up to you to decide.
We join our 'heroes' today taking a break from their hectic schedule of meandering their way towards the Indigo League. Settling down aside a small hill in the middle of the latest town, young Master Snap is taking photographs because he's like, totally the worlds greatest photographer even though he's only 12 and he's a wanker.
Togepi pretends to be cute as Snap tries to figure out a way to take a photo down Misty's shirt without her noticing, but they're all interrupted by an announcement from the big screen set onto the building behind them.
Apparently it's Pokemon Weather Announcement, even though there are no Pokemon to be seen and no reference is made to them (much like the space karate, space chores and space years referred to often in 1950's sci-fi). Evidently it's going to be a very nice day, with temperatures in the mid-seventies explains the Weather Lady before making a respectful bow and being interrupted by a loud, smiling lady with very odd hair and a lab-coat.
Orangey-yellow forelocks at the front with shooting star-like tails out the back, the pretty young thing looks like anything but the standard scientist, and her dialogue backs that up.
"POKEMON LOOOVE POWER!" she proclaims with Sailor Moon like intensity, "Find it at our 5-Star Breeding Centre, where every Pokemon is treated like a loved one!"
She twirls about on screen and indicates the image of a Charmander on the screen behind her.
"This guest evolved into a Charmeleon, and then into a Charizard, in just a few short days!"
Behind her we are treated to the vision of the Charmander evolving into first a Charmeleon, then a powerful Charizard.
"At the 5-Star Breeding Centre, a little pampering goes a long way. Let our experts provide your Pokemon with our loving care, so why go to all the fuss, when you can bring your Pokemon... to us!?!"
Of course this is all lost on Ash, what with there being words and all, so he asks his Mummy for help.
"What's that?" he asks Brock.
"Looks like someone just opened up a new Breeding Centre," replies Brock.
"Breeding Centre?" replies Ash, still oblivious.
"The newest thing!" interrupts Snap, before Misty can also use the excuse to say something as dodgy as 'Breeding Centre', "Breeding Centres raise Pokemon for kids who can't themselves! It's like a Pokemon Spa!" "A really excellent Breeding Centre can even help your Pokemon evolve!" exclaims an excited Misty.
"WOW!" gasps Ash, "Let's check it out!"
And check it out they do, only to find out everyone else has as well. There's a huge crowd of anxious trainers outside of the 5-Star Breeding Centre, each clamouring for their Pokemon to be accepted, each desperate to bypass all that ridiculous stuff like actually training and caring for your Pokemon yourself.
Shooting-Star Haired Girl assures them all there are plenty of rooms left in their luxury suites and that all the Pokemon that stay there will be better off for it, some may even evolve!
"She seems really nice," smiles Misty, thereby proving that woman's intuition does NOT exist (with the exception of knowing that all men are scum, which is true) as we will discover later.
Brock is also rather taken, openly slavering over the pretty young thing as she lifts up a Sandshrew and hugs it, telling the crowd that she believes strongly in love power for every Pokemon, no matter what kind.
"LOVE POWER!" grates a gravely voiced young man from behind her, throwing his arm into the air. Dressed in a similar lab-coat and looking just as youthful, this silly young man has obviously been chain-smoking for years now considering his voice has the texture and quality of toilet paper made from a combination of gritty rocks, sandpaper and barbed wire.
"Luuuv.... powww-ah," groans a Hwaaing Brock happily.
"Wow! She sure knows how to attract customers!" gapes Snap, holding up his camera to get a shot of the sexy young scientist.
But it seems Misty's female intuition is beginning to kick in after all, as she stares thoughtfully at the two Breeders (snicker) while a confused, rather distraught Togepi sits on her shoulder for some bizarre reason.
Insane, drunk-on-power freaky egg leech thingies.... who can figure 'em?
Inside the Breeding Centre a Charmander is being set onto a Conveyer Belt behind the main desk, forlornly travelling along it into the back-room while the two smiling scientists prepare to take the next of a long line.
"I HAVE A POKEMON TOO!" roars Misty, storming to the front desk and glaring menacingly up at Shooting-Star Haired girl.
"W..well you're in the right place," mumbles the rather taken aback Breeder (snicker).
"So what do I have to do to check my Pokemon in here?" growls Misty confrontationally.
"Misty?" asks Ash, actually almost getting something for once, "You're leaving one here?"
Indeed she is, but which one wonder the others? Surely not Staryu, and Togepi's too young.
"MY PSYDUCK!" proclaims Misty, slamming the podgy water-fowl onto the bench, "I want to leave my Psyduck here with you!"
"It's cute!" gasps the scientist, "Don't you just adore those eyes!?! They bright and bouncy as PING-pong balls!"
"Yeah," grunts Misty in response to this high-pitched adoration, "And I wish I had a paddle."
Shooting-Star Haired girl asks Misty if she'd like anything special done for Psyduck, and the angry little red-head (with Togepi nowhere in sight she appears to have her old piss and vinegar back) responds that she wants them to knock some common sense into that empty head it has.
"There's an awful lot of unused space in here," she growls, rubbing Psyduck's head and making the poor confused duck grimace like a school-boy getting his grubby face wiped by his mother with spit on her hankie.
"Immm," immm's Shooting-Star Haired girl, "That's strange, it looks intelligent to me."
"WAAAAH!!!!" waaah Ash, Brock, Snap and Pikachu, plummeting to the ground in shock.
"And you have to change this clueless looking face," continues Misty, pulling Psyduck's downward sloping eyes back up angrily.
"That'll take a miracle," suggests Ash, getting back to his feet.
"Funny you should say that!" laughs Shooting-Star Haired girl in a high pitched voice, "The motto here at our Breeding Centre is, a little Pokemon Love Power works miracles!"
With that Psyduck is set cluelessly onto the conveyer belt with a number 12 slapped to it's round belly and travels through into the next room, followed by an endorsements.
"Have fun Psyduck!" cries Ash.
"Bye Psyduck," says Misty, before adding, "Good luck."
"Psssy?" asks Psyduck.
Outside Misty leads her companions away. Brock and Ash are just behind her, Pikachu just behind Ash and bringing up the rear is the unwanted Snap (which is odd considering he was walking NEXT to Misty in the overhead shot just half a second earlier.
Misty, once again saddled with a confused looking Togepi (which can't understand how she had the strength to set it aside for even a few minutes) tells them that Psyduck will prove if the centre is any good or not, but Ash believes that the fiery young red-head is just going to abandon the poor, confused young Pokemon back there.
Misty is shocked at this lack of faith from her future husband and turns to denounce it, although with none of the fire we were seeing from her earlier. It's a fact that once Togepi is back in her arms, she loses most if not all of that mindless rage we love so much about her.
"Well I think Psyduck has some good points," teases Ash,"Mind if I take it off your hands?"
"I caught Psyduck and I plan to keep it," sniffs Misty haughtily, "And I plan to keep it, even if it's still annoying when I get it back."
The kids continue on but Snap stops, staring at a poster set onto a door leading into a restaurant, one whom we suspect the American Translators interpreted verbatim, as it's called Restaurant Hungry.
"That looks tasty," grunts Snap, and the twerps slide back into place, looking at the menu. Misty realises suddenly she's quite hungry (we wonder if it has anything to do with the monstrous egg-leech thingie in your arms, darling?) and Ash - ever the observant freeloader - notes that the food is 'All U Can Eat... FREE!'
An excited Misty boogies down for joy, throwing her arms wide and dancing happily as she squeals she's going to head straight for the desert bar. A horrified Togepi finds itself cut off from it's source and clings desperately to her arm as she dances, before finally it regains control and she hugs it close again.
But there's no such thing as a free lunch (unless you're in the Mafia) and the boys are all sure there must be some kind of catch somewhere).
Snap figures that the catch must be something cheeky, like you have to eat 10 dinners to get one free perhaps.
"Hmmm," ponders Misty, "I'd eat ten dinners if they come with ten desserts."
"WAAAAH!" waaaahs Ash in horror, perhaps seeing Misty as she'll look ten years after they're married. He recoils in despair as the door opens behind him, and finds himself ass to crotch with a large chef.
The happily moustachioed Chef assures Misty there's no need to eat that much, unless of course she really wants to. All they have to do to get all they can eat is to show him his favourite Pokemon, and then they can have all the dinners and all the desserts that they could possibly want!
Ash calls out Squirtle, Bulbasaur and Pidgey, Brock calls out Onyx, Geodude, Zubat and Vulpix, Misty calls on Staryu, Starmie, Horsea, Goldeen and Togepi. All are impressive, but none impressive enough to get them a free meal, even Pikachu falls flat with it's charms (and we suspect they also lost serious points for including Vulpix in the line-up).
That's all their Pokemon and they've failed, but Mr. Moustachio at least does them the service of letting them know which Pokemon his favourite is, showing them a disturbingly pin-up like picture of a Psyduck languishing on a silken purple cushion.
"That looks like a picture I took!" gasps Baron Snap Von Munchausen.
A shocked Misty can't believe it, the one time Psyduck could have possibly been off assistance and it's not there. She begs Mr. Moustachio to wait for them a few minutes, telling him they'll be right back with a Psyduck, and he informs them that he has to wait for a delivery of FIFTY gallons of ice cream.
Once again Misty dances in defiance of Togepi's general malaise, and rushes off back towards the 5-Star Breeding Centre to get her Psyduck back, actually having the gall to blame Psyduck for not being with her when she wanted him there!
But when they arrive they're shocked to discover that the Centre is closed for the day. Snap is dismayed to not get a shot at the Buffet, and Brock suggests they return the next day, but an enraged Misty is having none of it, not willing to take the chance that those fifty gallons of ice-cream will be gone by tomorrow. Angrily deciding to take a look out back in case there's another way in.
She leads her hapless male companions to the back door and knocks on it angrily, furious that the Centre should dare to keep regular opening and closing hours.
She tries the doorknob and to her surprise it opens, and with little regard for the law or trespass notices she and the others head inside.
The Breeding Centre resembles your general run of the mill brothel, with pink carpets, art on the walls and knock-offs of Greek sculptures in the corners, but it's quiet and seems empty.
Looking about, they open one door and find it leads into a spacious bare warehouse setting, but it's too dark to see much of anything. Luckily Brock happens to have pulled a flash-light out of thin air, and he shines it about the walls and floor, revealing a series of cages which all house... Pokemon!?!
Yes, in a surprisingly horrific manner for a so-called kid's show we are treated to sights of despondent Pokemon trapped in cage, each of them the Pokemon left behind by their callous, lazy trainers for a quick fix evolution or fast track training.
This is the dark side of so-called Pokemon Trainers, the predators who prey on young children without the experience to look after their Pokemon correctly, who think that results can be achieved through quick fix solutions like Evolution Stones and Breeding Centres.
In the midst of this brutal realism, Ash's stupidity shines through as he proclaims with confusion that this doesn't look like a luxury hotel at all.
"I don't think these Pokemon want to smile for the camera," adds Snap with remarkable stupidity of his own.
Brock, looking about with his flashlight, spots Misty's Psyduck, but it's all ready shown a remarkable change. Where before it's eyes were doe-like, downward sloping ovals of confusion, they're now sharply angled upwards and very evil looking.
Misty has to admit it does look better, but Brock tells her to look closer and she realises that they've taped it's eyelids up ala Clockwork Orange.
They pull the tape loose and the poor fowls eyelids flop back down, the poor Pokemon rubbing it's sore eyes. As the concerned twerps gather around, a sudden noise gets their attention and they see a cage lifted by mechanical hand and carried to another conveyer belt like the one out front. It travels through the flaps to the other side, where Shooting-Star Haired girl and gravely voiced boy are waiting, taking careful inventory of all the Pokemon they've captured.
This particular Pokemon is a Sandshrew and looks to be in good condition, it should be useful to them if they can teach it Fury-Swipes. They're understandably very pleased with themselves, they've collected huge numbers of Pokemon from the moronic children of the town and now they can get the pick of the litter and send them on to their Boss.
Their Boss? Who could that possibly be? We'll give you three guesses children, and the first two don't count (hint: It rhymes with Miovanni and starts with a G and it's Giovanni).
Back in the storeroom on the other side of the conveyer flaps, listening to all the two villains dialogue. They're horrified of course, but luckily Snap has a plan, he'll take photos of the captured Pokemon and take them to the Police. Even corrupt ol' Officer Jenny will be powerless to ignore the visual proof of abuse and theft, so they're sure to capture these mean ol' crooks in best Scooby Doo Fashion.
Back in the processing room on the other side of the conveyer flaps, a giant screen has lowered and the shadowy, hidden face of Team Rocket's mysterious Boss (*cough!* GIOVANNI! *cough!*) appears, stroking the Persian beside him.
"So tell me," he asks his servile cronies, "How is the Breeding Centre Scam going?"
"Very well," replies Shooting-Star haired girl before she and her partner in crime bow respectfully to their evil master, "As planned we've collected lots of promising Pokemon."
"Excellent," hisses Giovanni, "Send them to me immediately, I want to pick the choice ones for myself."
"Yes sir!"
"I want to congratulate the two of you on your splendid work on this project.... unlike those other blundering idiots!"
"Just doing our job," Shooting-Star Haired girl says with a slight tilt of her head, "But I don't know how you put with that Jesse or her stupid partner, James? They're an embarrassment."
"They are completely unreliable," agrees Giovanni, neglecting to mention that like all powerful businessmen he likes to keep around pretty people with little to no practical value, "It's a good thing we didn't tell them about this plan, they would have ruined it! Butch, Cassidy, you know I'm relying on you."
"Yes sir!" agrees Cassidy (Shooting-Star Haired girl) as she and Butch take a bow, "We won't disappoint you."
Giovanni cuts off the connection with that, leaving behind the aptly named Butch and Cassidy to share a pleased look.
Back in the storeroom on the other side of the conveyer flaps, Snap takes his photos surreptitiously, until Misty suggests he get a shot of the conveyor belt. He does so and, of course, the flash shines through on the other side, catching Butch's attention.
Deciding to play it safe, he tells Cassidy he's going to go check it out and heads out of the room while the terrified twerps stammer and sweat in Krillen like fright, knowing they're about to be caught out... all except Togepi who roars with silent laughter, always eager to meet an equally evil entity.
But when Butch opens the door the twerps are nowhere to be seen, somehow disappearing from sight. He looks about in confusion until he spots a light flashing from a cage, and taking a closer look sees a chubby little Pikachu letting loose a pathetically weak charge of electricity.
"The light was only from this Pikachu!" he laughs and heads out of the room while a sweating Ash, Brock, Misty and Snap sweat it out behind the cages. When he's gone they head out, Pikachu stepping out of it's unlocked cage as well.
Snap figures they have enough incriminating photos now to get what they want, but Misty refuses to leave without Psyduck although whether this is due to genuine love, or just plain ol' lust for ice cream, is uncertain.
But the cage is locked and before they can work something out they notice a rattling window and quickly hide again as it is pulled free and three VERY familiar silhouettes leap down to the floor.
It's our belovedly blumbering REAL Team Rocket!
"Be quiet as a mouse!" admonishes Jesse with a whisper, her and Meowth tip-toeing along.
"Did you say Meowth?" asks Meowth.
"Ahhh," sighs Jesse dejectedly.
"This is so," whispers James, stopping in place to look about in the darkness,"..... EXCITING!"
Meowth slams a mallet into his campy friend's noggin, dropping him to the floor.
"Keep it down, James Bond," he quips as Jesse casts her gaze about the cages.
"Breaking into this Breeding Centre was genius, it's a burglars dream," Jesse grins quietly.
"I told ya this place was going tah be packed with Pokemon!" laughs Meowth.
"And we're going to steal every last one," adds Jesse. "Dat'll put us back on the Boss' good side," squeals Meowth in a happy whisper.
"But we've never been on his good side befoooor," moans a bruised, concussed James from his place on the floor.
Minutes later an apparently recovered James is working away at one of the cages locks with his lockpick, demonstrating his natural ability to work his way into holes that usually stay locked up tight.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Almost got it," he whispers.
"All da Pokemon we could evah want!" gushes a happy Meowth.
"HEY!" hey's Ash loudly from behind them, terrifying Team Rocket so much their hair stands straight up on end. They twist about in a flurry to face their accuser and find themselves outnumbered.
"What are you doing here?" demands Ash.
"I put dat very same question to you!" retorts Meowth angrily, while behind him a still shocked Jesse and James sit on their asses looking up in surprise at the twerps.
Ash demands they keep quiet while Jesse asks how the hell they got inside in the first place.
"Don't tell me you goody-goodies have finally decided to become baddy-baddies!?!" asks Meowth.
"Don't you dare try to take over our territory!" hisses Jesse angrily.
"I KNEW ALL ALONG WE COULDN'T TRUST YOU!" proclaims James with booming theatrical flair.
"Will you shut up!?!" hisses Ash in a whisper.
"This time you're in way over your heads," warns Misty. "She's right," nods Brock, "We better get these Pokemon out of here fast, or we're all in danger."
"I know what you're trying to do," sniffs Jesse knowingly, "You're trying to trick us into helping you steal all these Pokemon for yourselves."
"Believe what you want," growls Misty, but before she can finish the florescent lights flash on, flooding the room with light.
"I knew I could smell something rotten back here," says Cassidy, Butch beside her as they stare down their intruders, "And I was right, looks like rats have snuck in."
"What should we do?" asks Butch with a smile.
"We'll exterminate them."
"We're not afraid of creeps like you," blusters Ash.
"LET'S MIX IT UP!" roars tough, streetwise lil' Meowth.
"You don't know who you're dealing with," smirks Cassidy, the familiar refrain of Team Rocket's motto music tuning in.
"But we'll be glad to show you," laughs Butch.
"Prepare for trouble and make it double!" they cry together, throwing their labcoats in the air to reveal black Team Rocket uniforms.
"To infect the world with devastation," starts Cassidy.
"To blight all peoples in every nation," adds Butch.
"To denounce the goodness of truth and love."
"To extend our wrath to the stars above."
"Cassidy," cries Cassidy, removing her cuddly old lady mask.
"And Butch," adds Butch, becoming simply gravely voiced man rather than gravely-voiced-Amish-Man.
"We're Team Rocket, circling earth all day and night."
"Surrender to us now or you'll surely lose the fight."
"That's right!" Cassidy finishes, before the horrifying visage of one of the ugliest Pokemon ever appears.
"RAAAAAAAATICATE!"
"Copycats!" denounces Meowth, pointing a finger at them in case they think he's talking to the other two villains with a surprisingly similar motto.
"Does this mean you belong to Team Rocket too?" asks James who is, let's face it, very very pretty but none too bright.
"Jesse," smiles Cassidy, "It's been awhile."
"Do you know that girl!?!" asks James, turning on all fours to peer at an embarrassed and annoyed Jesse.
"She used to hang around me," growls Jesse, "She was jealous because I'm so beautiful."
"You haven't changed a bit," smirks Cassidy, both of them glossing over the more.... 'intimate' ....details of their previous meeting (just ask any horny fanboy, they'll tell you Gentle Dodgers), "Unfortunately for her."
"And YOU'RE still a selfish little brat," bitches Jesse, "How dare you use that motto!?!"
"IT'S AN OUTRAGE!" splutters Meowth, "It took us months to find a motto we could swipe!"
"Steal your own slogan!" growls James.
"Save your arguments for the Boss when he finds out you're stealing HIS Pokemon."
"AHHH-OOOOH!" ahhh-ooooh Jesse, James and Meowth as they realise what they've nearly done.
"We're in trrrrouble!" gasps Meowth.
"The Boss is really ticked off that he hasn't heard from you!" growls Butch, who has been little more than a cardboard cut-out until now, "He thinks it's insulting!"
"But we can't call him until we do something wrong right!" cries James, all of them terrified that Giovanni will throw them off the team.
"We got this mission because the Boss can't trust you," Cassidy delights in telling them,"When he finds out that you managed to bungle it anyway... well I hate to think what might happen to you but I suppose getting thrown off the team is the best you could hope for after this.... isn't that right, Jess?"
Jesse growls angrily but before she can retort Meowth tackles her and James to the ground, providing us with a delightfully gratuitous ass shot of both members of Team Rocket.
"We'd be infernally grateful if you could forget this ever happened!" sobs Meowth.
"Hmmm, what's it worth to you?" asks Cassidy as behind her the twerps tip-toe their way Scooby-Doo style towards the door, "NOT SO FAST CHILDREN!"
"Ehh!" ehh's Ash sharply, eyes growing wide as Cassidy turns to stare at them.
"Now that you know our little secret I'm afraid we can't let you leave."
"We don't know anything about any secrets!" cries Ash as they take off down the plushly carpeted hallway.
"We were just trying to get a free all you can eat buffet!" yells back Brock.
"You kids can't get away from me," smirks Cassidy, "I'm not a little pushover like Jesse."
"Let's make a run for it," Meowth whispers to Jesse and James and they take off, until James pulls up short sharply and casts his gaze about the cages.
"Wots the matter?" asks Meowth as he and Jesse pop their heads back in.
"This is the Breeding Centre where I left my Weepingbell the other day," he tells them with a smile.
Huh? When in the hell did James get a Weepingbell? He opens up a cage and to his surprise discovers not a Weepingbell but it's evolved form, a Victreebell!
"It evolved into a Victreebell!" he gasps, "Isn't that just...AWWWOOOOAAA!!!!"
Unfortunately for James the Victreebell has opened it's gaping maw and swallowed his head whole, and the kicking and struggling James has to be dragged away by Jesse with the monster (which probably isn't even his at all, but some poor Victreebell that another kid left behind!) still sucking on his head.
Haha! James and Victreebell oral sex jokes, those will never get old! (it's flashback humour, Gentle Dodgers, long-term readers will get it)
But nobody has escaped yet, and as Meowth wistfully wishes that James would evolve a brain, a cage drops down and traps all four of them.
Out in the hallway, the twerps are nearing the main door when another cage (which nobody noticed hanging from the roof of the main hallway before) falls on them, trapping Ash, Brock and Snap and leaving Misty and Pikachu free.
Bravely Ash tells Misty and Pikachu to hide, which they do, and thus Butch and Cassidy find only the boys when they arrive to gloat over their captured prisoners, taking Snap's stupid camera from him as we've all so longed to do, but failing to shove it sideways up his....
Well yes, you get the idea.
Then, to add insult to injury Butch and Cassidy get back into their scientist's get-up and prove the ultimate corruption of lazy, lazy Officer Jenny by having her come and arrest both twerps and Team Rocket!
Although they protest their innocent and beg her to look in the back of the Centre, Officer Jenny is just pleased to have five criminals and their Pokemon to put on her arrest file and look good for her supervisors.
For Team Rocket this is a new low, to be turned in to the cops not by the twerps but by their own team-mates.
"Now we're going to jail," sighs Ash, who isn't so stupid as to not understand what will happen to a little boy like him in prison.
The paddy-wagon heads off while a beaming Butch and Cassidy wave goodbye, while Misty, Togepi and Pikachu watch from the alley, shocked at this turn of events.
She paces about frantically, trying to figure out what she can do to convince the lazy Officer Jenny to go through all that paperwork to release her friends. But suddenly she has it! All she needs to do is get Snap's camera and show the pictures inside to the corrupt officer!
And thus the next day a disguised Misty in thick jacket (where she got it and how she paid for it we don't know!) and cap (again, don't ask) arrives at The 5-Star Breeding Centre to retrieve her Psyduck.
Cassidy informs her there is a two day holding period, but Misty insists that she needs to take a trip and has to have her Psyduck now! With a nod Cassidy heads out back to get the confused little Pokemon, and Misty takes the opportunity to open her jacket and let what's inside out (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!), Pikachu.
The chubby little rodent takes off to find Snap's camera while Misty waits nervously, looking rather more.... well.... curvaceous than usual. But no she hasn't been using Growin'Out or Chest Expanders, she just has a Togepi down her top is all.
Nothing peculiar about that, is there!
Cassidy returns with Psyduck, apologising for it's lack of improvement due to the lack of time they had to deal with it. But Misty is more concerned that Pikachu hasn't arrived back yet, and tries nervously to kill time while a confused Cassidy reminds her she supposedly has a trip to go on.
Luckily for Misty, a quick tap on her shin indicates that Pikachu is back and it has Snap's camera as well. Scooping a confused Psyduck up in her arms she turns and hauls ass out of there, while an equally confused Cassidy watches on, perplexed.
"Let us out, we're not crooks!" roars Ash from his cell, which he shares not only with Snap, Brock, Meowth and James but Jesse as well! (makes toilet time more interesting, doesn't it!).
"Those two at that Breeding Centre are the criminals!" snaps Brock.
"That's right! Not us!"
"Just go there and see for yourself!"
Jesse sits back with her arms behind her head, listening to this display calmly. Meowth echoes her calmness, although James' antics do catch her attention as he gushes happily over his new Victreebell.
"WOW! It grew into a fabulous Victreebell! It's so big and strong and healthy looking, friendly too...."
"'TreeBell!" growls Victreebell and swallows James' head again.
"If you're trying to win sympathy it won't work," Officer Jenny tells them, apparently she's been standing outside the cell for awhile now listening to them yell at her,"The Judge is going to throw the book at you Pokemon Snatchers."
BOOM!
That the sound of an angry Misty on the loose, arriving deep into the heart of the Police Station without an escort she stares down Officer Jenny and proclaims,"You're making a mistake!"
"Pika-Pika!" Pikachu happily agrees.
"Preeee!" grins Togepi.
With the dignity and might of a holy crusader she storms forward and displays the photos which will prove Ash's innocence.
"Oooh what a pretty Pikachu!" gasps Officer Jenny, and with a start Misty realises she's shown the cutesy photos Snap took, not the nasty ones. Reaching into her shirt she whips out what Officer Jenny really needs to see (OUTTA DA GUTTA I TELLS YA!) and shows her the photos of the abused Pokemon.
Shocked, Jenny can't believe that this has been going on right under her nose. Why she was told that the Breeding Centre was like a luxury spa, and being a good police officer she took them completely at their word!
Spotting opportunity, Team Rocket try to take credit as well, telling Jenny that when they found out what was going on they tried to put a stop to it too. James speaks most eloquently of all, muffling through Victreebell's mouth that they really good guys, but Misty ends their hopes of liberation by telling Jenny that they snuck in to steal all the Pokemon.
But now Butch and Cassidy are in trouble, because though hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, beatings hurt harder when they come from a corrupt Police Officer made a fool of.
She zooms off to the Breeding Centre with the twerps in tow and smashes into the back rooms without so much as a search warrant. Glaring down on the once again costumed Butch and Cassidy she proclaims they're under arrest, cutting off their attempts at explanations. She's all ready tried and sentenced them in her own mind, anything else like evidence or extenuating circumstances are or false arrest or the law or trivialities to be sorted out later.
Still, Butch and Cassidy ain't going out like that and attempt to terrify Jenny with their ugly-ass Raticate. But Pikachu's Thundershock puts ol' Ugmo out for the count within a few seconds, leaving the villains with no choice but to run for it.
Again Ash comes to the rescue as Officer Jenny simply stands there and does nothing, calling out Bulbasaur to bring Butch and Cassidy down with a Vine-Whip.
"Love power?" they moan in a daze before a quick transition sees them inside the Paddy Wagon, getting driven away to share a prison cell with Jesse, James and Meowth.
With that unpleasantness rather quickly out of the way, Officer Jenny quickly keeps talking, hoping to keep the kids from suing for false arrest, offering them a payoff of sorts by asking who's hungry.
"Mooore ice-cream!" squeals Misty happily as we join the twerps later, the boys still on their main meal while Misty is on her fifth plate of ice-cream.
"Take it easy," admonishes Ash.
"Yeah, leave some for the other customers," suggests Brock.
"Pikachu-pi," Pikachu offers sagely.
"Don't worry, there's plenty of ice-cream left Misty," smiles Officer Jenny over at the bar, behind which stands Mr. Moustachio and on top of which sits Psyduck.
"And all of it's free since you brought me this cute little Psyduck to visit this restaurant!"
A gloriously happy Misty (with Togepi set well away from her on the table, we might add) tucks into her sixth helping - which looks suspiciously like a traditional Japanese meal and NOT ice-cream - after noting to Mr. Moustachio,"You have good taste!"
Not so happy though, are Team Rocket. As we zoom in on their cell back in the Police Station, we can hear grunting and pants of exertion.
But no, it's not what the Rocketshippers are thinking, Team Rocket are simply digging a hole to get the hell out of there.
"I can't stand it here!" sobs Jesse, "There's not a single mirror in our cell!"
"I refuse to wear those horrible prison uniforms!" growls James.
"And I wouldn't give dis food to a Muk!"
"We shouldn't have tried to steal from that friend of yours, Jesse," says James as we're treated to a profile view of the tunnel that Team Rocket are digging.
"I'll show her who's the Queen of Mean!" Jesse promises angrily.
Above ground, the twerps are once more on their meandering way towards the Indigo League, but they've reached a fork in the road which may mean a parting of the ways.
"I guess you guys are heading to Cinnabar Island, right?" asks Snap.
"That's right," agrees Ash.
"Well, I think I'm going to piss on off now, because basically I pretty much suck ass," Snap informs them.
"That's great!" smiles Brock.
"We'll miss you!" Ash lies.
"I hope we meet again real soon," lies Misty on an ever greater scale than Ash.
Waving goodbye, Snap stands on the road watching the twerps head off to multi-million dollar endorsements, advertising deals, toy deals, movies and a massive fanbase. For him none of that, just a few bizarre Yaoi fan-fics on the net and one website that hates his ass (three guesses which, children, and the first two don't count. Here's a hint, it rhymes with Rokemopolis, starts with a P and it's Pokemopolis).
And so the twerps continue on with adventures ahead... and below as the narrator reminds us. Panning down, we see Team Rocket continuing to dig their tunnel.
"James!" complains Jesse, "Watch where you're throwing that dirt!"
"WHAAAT!" complains James right back, "I can't see a foot in front of my face!"
"If ya don't stop squawking you'll both see a foot in front of ya faces.... MINE!" warns Meowth.
So that's the end of the first series then, one year of Pokemon done with and what can we say really, in way of goodbye to this punk Snap who hijacked his way onto the show for the last few episodes, a few fleeting episodes of fame?
Well there's only three words that can really do it justice, isn't there.
Piss off, Snap.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Don't tell me
you goody-goodies have finally decided tah become
baddy-baddies!?!"  "She used to
hang around me she was jealous because I'm so
beautiful.""It took us
months tah find a motto we could swipe!" "I can't stand
it here. There's not a single mirror in our cell!" "I refuse to
wear those horrible prison uniforms!"
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