310: A Pokéblock Party!
|
|
Yes, in the space of two episodes they've made it from Slateport to Mauville, and Ash is now in a position to battle for his third Gym Badge!
But while Ash has finally regained the knack for forward progress he lost back in Johto, he still has lingering wisps of meandering left in him, and the distraction provided by a poster for a "Trick House" gets the attention of him and the other twerps. According to the power, anyone able to travel their way safely though this "trick house" will win a years supply of Pokeblock! But Ash is confused? Exactly what is a trick house?
Elsewhere in Mauville, Team Rocket is pondering the same thing as Meowth points out the "Trick House" poster.
"I'm not familiar with this.... trick house..." says James, who despite his bike gang history has apparently never turned tricks. Jesse says it doesn't matter, the real trick will be in the winning, and Wobbuffet proudly agrees.
But still elsewhere, yet ANOTHER familiar face spots the posters, but what familiar face? No it isn't Misty desperately trying to get back onto the show, or Tracey shuffling his fat back into our screens. Surely it isn't Snap/Todd desperately searching for a Shroomish to replace his disembodied hair or, horror of horrors, Richie comes back? No indeed, it is.... JIGGLYPUFF! Yes Jigglypuff, the hot-tempered diva has made it to Hoenn and is excited to see the poster, which promises an audience.
Why it seems the gang's all here, why it's going to be....
A Poke-BLOCK Party.
Outside the Trick House, a bunch of people have gathered for a shot at the Pokeblock prize, while Ash (who still doesn't get it, bless him) wonders out loud if they have to build the "trick house". Suddenly Max is knocked over and turns to see a bizarre looking Pokemon, a little round purple ball with floppy rabbits ears tipped yellow, a quivery little mouth, tiny legs and smaller hands, AND STITCHES WHERE ITS EYES SHOULD BE!
Max gasps out that the blind abomination is a Whismur, and Ash checks it out using his Pokedex.
"Whismur, the Whisper Pokemon," explains Dextina, "Whismur can become, so startled by the sound of its own crying, that it will continue to cry, until finally falling asleep, from exhaustion."
May thinks it is cute (well apart from the whole having STITCHES WHERE ITS EYES SHOULD BE!) and then a young girl rushes up and picks it up. She introduces herself as Alana and the twerps introduce themselves, and when Ash asks her about the Trick House she tells him that the famous King of Tricks will explain it all.
On stage, a fat man appears with a squeal! Dressed in a Ringmaster's Outfit stretched to the limit by his gut, with red make-up caked around his eyes and thin, long, oiled mustachios.... the King of Tricks!
Oh my, he's a fruit!
Yes the Terry Jones look-alike explains he has devised a series of his trickiest traps ever, and it will take wisdom and wit to get all the way through (knocking Ash right out of the competition) and the first through to the end is the winner. The prize is a one year supply of Pokeblock, he explains, then points to the three doors leading into the house and says the contestants can go through any door they wish, and then disappears from view as he is lowered on a trapdoor into the stage.
May stares in stunned horror as the King of Tricks as he disappears, then mumbles that he is a little "different" and wonders who he is. Alana cheerfully replies that she doesn't know but he shows up every year with a new "Trick House".
Max runs into the right door eagerly, followed by Brock. May tells Alana to come with her (HEY HEY!) and Ash and Pikachu rush off through the left door, leaving the two dyk.... the two young girls behind him, and they follow after him.
The rest of the crowd mill around looking unsure, no one else apparently mad enough to go into the crazy Monty Pythonesque character's house. But have no fear, Team Rocket appear..... dressed in boy scout uniforms!
"Liar!" snaps Jesse, "There is not an age limit!"
"But how many chances do I get to wear this?!?!" moans James, dressed in little shorts.
In a dank and stinking room, the corpse of Rocketshipping lays with a stake through its heart and spit on its face. The door to the room tentatively opens and an old man staggers in on a cane and struggles across to where the corpse lies. Reaching into a pocket with shaking, arthritis-wracked hands, and the old man pulls out a small tube full of liquid. Turning it upside down, the old man stops to cough roughly, then turns the tube upside down and empties the contents over the body. Reaching slowly and deliberately into his pocket, the old man pulls loose a strike-anywhere match and tears it across his leathery skin, wincing as it catches alight.
"I do this," he wheezes, "Of my own free will."
He tosses the match onto the corpse, and it sets alight in an instant. The old man nods with grim satisfaction, turns and leaves the burning corpse in the room.
He does not look back.
Meowth shouts enough about the wardrobe malfunction and Jesse suggests they split into two groups, while the crowd outside continues to just stand around doing nothing.
Inside, Alana is telling May about how she wants to improve her teamwork performance with Whismur. They head down a corridor with Ash, and moments later an excited Jigglypuff chases its audience. Ash, May and Alana reach a maze and Ash laughingly declares he can figure it out with his eyes closed.... and walks right into a dead end. May suggests he try again with his mouth closed.
Elsewhere Max is insisting they go this way and pointing down a corner of the maze, while Brock tells him that this will just take them to another dead end. Max insists though and then finds out why Brock was so sure.... the dead end was only 1 foot away. Max apologises, glasses slipping down his nose and reminding us the little nerd is as blind as a bat.
Ash seems terrified by another dead end, and then the King of Tricks pops up behind them and says this is much more than a maze, then pulls open a door and runs directly into a wall, moaning that they might find a wet sponge room through the door. He then happily declares that if they take the plunge and make the lunge they'll find the sponge!
They stare at him in horror as a cold wind of comedy dying flows by.
He cackles madly and tiptoes away. May asks if he is as crazy as he acts and Alana cheerfully defends her town's resident kook by saying he's just eccentric (rich people always are) and then Ash suddenly declares he's going to go all the way.
Well May and Alana better draw straws to see who gets the "honour" then.
It's no surprise that when Jesse suggested they split into two teams, James and Meowth hooked up into one. They stop as they see Ash, May and Alana going by with Whismur and Meowth has an idea, they'll catch the Whismur for the boss!
"Yes, details please," nods James, knowing what is coming, and we are treated to another patented crazy Meowth Giovanni fantasy.
We find Giovanni sleeping angrily in white sheets and pillow festooned with r's, beside him on his bedside table lies Whismur, looking like an alarm clock.
"Imagine da boss waking up in da morning but instead of his alarm clock he hears da sound of his Whismur crying out.... it'll be da perfect way to start out each and every day!" declares Meowth.
We then see Giovanni dressed in his orange suit sitting at his desk looking over important papers, Whismur sitting beside him on his desk.
"And when its time for lunch, Whismur will be his lunch bell too!" Meowth informs James.
Giovanni reaches for plate of sandwiches after Whismur lets out its alarm, and begins to eat.
"Da sound of dat Whismur will really perk up his appetite, and he'll say da following, "Because Meowth and his friends bought me dis Whismur dey deserve promotions and maybe expense accounts!" "
James loves the idea, but Meowth says first they have to find Whismur and capture it. Luckily for them, the twerps have separated slightly and are trying to find their way through the maze, Alana finding a fork and sending Whismur down one path. By luck, that is the path James and Meowth are now hiding on, and they reveal their plan. The scheme is neither complex nor intriguing, but simple; they grab Whismur, turn around and run away!
Alana can't find Whismur and tells Ash and May, who decide to go look for it. Jesse walks by another part of the maze and spots Pikachu, grinning as she realises that she can catch it now. Her plan isn't complex either, she grabs a sack (from where?) and creeps up behind Pikachu who turns around, startling her as she realises she's been caught red handed, so she quickly rushes backwards. Pikachu looks confused, but before anything can happen, Alana and May squeal in delight at the sight of Jigglypuff. They think it is cute, but when Ash spots the microphone/marker pen in one little arm his faded, moth-eaten memory screams out in alarm. He begs it not to sing but it ain't listening, happily singing its song and knocking them all out (including Jesse) then puffs up in anger and pulls the lid off of its microphone/marker pen.
A short time later, May laughs and points at Alana who does the same, both with scribbled marks all over their faces. Ash and Pikachu are old hands at this and are rubbing their faces clear with cloths, Ash explaining that Jigglypuff thinks it is a star and wants them to listen, so if they fall asleep it gets mad. He says he didn't expect to see it in a place like this, and they walk away leaving Jesse behind unnoticed, sleeping and with marker-pen all over her face.
James and Meowth find her after she wakes and as she rubs her face clean they decide to just get out of there, and Meowth runs right into a wall.
Ash, May and Alana have found Brock and Max and are all stuck trying to find their way through when Max suddenly declares they've hit so many dead ends that there must be a secret door around somewhere, like right heeeeeeere!
He falls through the wall he touches and the twerps rush up behind him as he lays on his back with his legs spread wide in the air.
Wrong sibling, writers.
They find themselves on a grass field on the outside of the maze (despite a high angle shot of their position moments earlier showing them in the centre of the maze) and The King of Tricks shouts out that he is amazed that a group has made it out of the maze already, they're amazing!
But he isn't calling the action through a microphone in a control booth somewhere, he's halfway hung over the wall of the maze, and he falls off as they stare at him. May mutters that if he keeps falling over like that he is going to get hurt, and Alana cheerfully defending him again, saying that he does stuff like this every year.
Another secret door is slapped open and Team Rocket storm out, walking right into the twerps! Alana cries out in delight that they found her Whismur and brought it right back to her, how sweet! The twerps say that is awesome as Team Rocket stare in horror, the only thing between them and a blasting off the thin disguise of their disturbing boy scout uniforms. Alana takes Whismur from James and hugs it as Jigglypuff appears on the top of one of the maze walls. The King of Tricks yells for them to check out the cute Jigglypuff and Max turns to stare in delight at the Pokemon, while Brock and Ash (and now May and Alana too) stare in horror, knowing exactly what it is.
Jigglypuff sings and Max is really impressed at how cool that is, before he feels sleep falling over him as he and the others all collapse. Jigglypuff is furious at their lack of respect.... and then unpuffs as it spots Whismur dancing happily. It seems that not only does Jigglypuff's singing not put Whismur to sleep, but that Whismur actually likes it! It is even singing the same tune (only getting the lyrics completely fucking wrong! It sings Whismur instead of Jigglypuff!) so Jigglypuff jumps down and dances with it, joy filling its diva-esque heart.
A little while later, May and Alana laugh at each other again as Max, Brock and Ash scrub their faces clean and Alana asks why Whismur didn't get scribbled on. Max explains that Whismur is protected from sound attacks by its own SoundProof Ability.
Ash yells come on! He wants to take the lead again and they walk away, leaving Team Rocket sleeping on The King of Tricks with their faces scribbled on.
The twerps reach a waterfall, the water running below bridged by a series of logs. As they cross, The King of Tricks run along the next log and says they have to pick carefully or..... his own log shatters and falls away beneath him as he falls into the water, laughing as he giggles they have to pick their path carefully before disappearing with a blub into the water.
May thinks that the King of Tricks has issues, but again Alana defends him by laughing and saying he may do, but he's fun! They keep on walking as Team Rocket reach the logs and Jesse suddenly gets an idea. She cries out and falls, shouting, "OH DEAR! I've fallen and I can't get up!" before thumping into the log the twerps are on and rolling it into the water. She, James and Meowth then rush across and laugh down at the twerps in the water, Max shaking his fist back at them like an angry old man.
In the next section of the maze, Team Rocket swing across a pit and go through the next door, and the King of Tricks cries out to no one in particular to be careful which rope you pick as he swings across, his rope extending out and crashing him into the wall where he mumbles a little song and then falls off, watched by the twerps who have just arrived.
"Maybe he's hit that wall a few too many times?" asks May, with Alana again defending him (what is she, his daughter) by happily saying maybe... but maybe he's just nuts!
They grab ropes and begin to swing over, and Team Rocket return and fire an extendable boxing glove that punches them in the face and knocks them all down into the water.
"See you next fall!" quips Jesse horribly, and they turn and run away.
The next trick is the rope climb, the object of which is to climb up and pick the right box. The King runs up a rope and a box opens and bops him on the head with a hammer. He falls through the air still talking and crashes with bone crunching force into the wall, May suggesting nervously that that one looked like it might have hurt.
Alana laughs it off, it happens all the time but he comes back every year. Ash ignores the crippled, spasming King as he lies dying on the floor, deciding they should climb up to the red box. They all climb up what appears to be a 400 foot rope, May muttering she should be glad she's not first in line (it is odd the boys didn't want to be "behind" her). Ash reaches the top and the box opens... James dropping out holding a pair of hedge clippers and declaring here is their prize before cutting the rope and sending them plummeting to their deaths.
"Glad you could drop by!" laughs Jesse, full of terrible quips today as she followed the Boy Scout motto and came prepared.
Further on we discover that there ARE more groups, as Team Rocket watch a bunch of people rushing across a bare dirt field and falling into various holes. Jesse and James are pleased, pitfalls are their specialty, Jesse saying she could find a pitfall in her sleep and orders them forward.... and falls right into a hole. Ash wonders where the dust is coming from as they step into the area moments later, and the King of Tricks appears, declaring it to be a good question and warning them to step carefully or....
He falls into a hole.
"....maybe the King of Tricks is lonely and needs some.... attention?" suggests May.
Oh May, is that your answer to everything?
Alana says it could be, but happily adds that he's been lonely for years.
Ash is confident he knows the way, pointing out he's fallen into so many of Team Rockets pitfalls that there is no way...
He falls into a hole.
They make their way thorough into a large empty room, and suddenly an attractive duo - a boy with blue hair and a girl with long red/pink hair - appear out of nowhere spinning a jump rope, saying the last test is to jump 10 times flawlessly... after that, they're done!
The twerps is pleased, that is nothing! They all rush in at once and jump 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, and 10! They did it! Indeed they did, in that they walked right into a trap that has Jesse and James run around them in circles with the rope and tie them up before grabbing Pikachu and Whismur in a sack!
Ash is furious! Who is this mysterious blue haired boy and pink haired girl anyway!?!?
"Prepare for tricky trouble!"
"And make it a tricky double!"
They pull off their costumes and reveal they're..... overgrown boyscouts!
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse!" says Jesse as she pulls off her costume, revealing her Team Rocket uniform.
"And James," adds James as he pulls off his costume, revealing his Team Rocket uniform.
"Team Rocket rips off 40 reps at the speed of light," says Jesse as she skips rope on a spinning moon.
"Surrender now or prepare to fight and fight!" finishes James, skipping rope upside down, which is a neat trick.
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
"WOBBA! WOBBA!"
The twerps can't believe it.... it was them all along!
Clap.
clap.
clap.
Indeed it was, as James explains that they could have taken the easy way out, walked to the goal and won the prize, but they decided to stay behind and capture Pikachu and Whismur instead.
Ash growls they won't get away with this and manages to tear one arm free enough to throw out Corphish's Pokeball, the crabby Pokemon cutting the ropes and setting them free. Jesse is horrified, how dare they get free!?! They have some nerve! She calls out Seviper, James calling out Cacnea which turns and hugs him happily then leaps at the twerps as it fires Pin Missile. Corphish uses Harden and the missiles bounce off, then it Crabhammers a shocked Cacnea into Meowth who drops his sack (HAHA!) and knocks Whismur and Pikachu loose. Alana yells at Team Rocket for being such jerks and giving the Boy Scouts a bad name (they were known as an upstanding social youth organisation with a history of vile child sexual abuse before, but now they'll also be known for ruining an insane, lonely millionaire's gameshow/trick house!) and sics Whismur on them, which hardly knocks the fear of God into Jesse who has Seviper use Wrap on it.
Whismur uses Screech which penetrates through EVERYONEšS ears, including the twerps, and then uses Supersonic which blasts blue discs of light into Seviper which throws it clear with a hiss. Then Whismur uses Hyper voice and Corphish finishes things off with Crabhammer, blowing Team Rocket out of the trick house and sending them blasting off again.
Alana catches Whismur (and like its older relative on Dewford - Loudred - we get to see its asshole, boy howdy) and hugs it, saying it is the best.
Not long later, The King of Tricks hands the winner of the Pokeblock his prize. The winner isn't Ash, or Max, or Brock, or May, or Alana.... it's Ivan from Mauville! Yes the fix is apparently in since Team Rocket and the twerps make it within sight of the goal first, and now some random kid from The King of Trick's hometown is the winner. He struggles to hold onto the teetering pile of Pokeblock and falls over as the King roars with laughter and throws out a few more bad puns.
May asks if Alana thinks the King might try and come up with better jokes next year, and Alana says maybe, then cheerfully says the jokes are better than last year! Her Whismur is tired, tuckered out from the days business of mostly being carried around everywhere and having STITCHES WHERE ITS EYES SHOULD BE.
May says she feels bad that Alana's attempt to train with Whismur was ruined by Team Rocket, but she points out that she got some good on-the-spot training anyway. Brock points out to Ash they're in Mauville and he can have his third gym battle, but as he celebrates this realisation (did he forget why he was in Hoenn?) May suddenly remembers what he told her, Jigglypuff loves to perform on an empty stage.
They look up at the stage where The King of Tricks is mugging it up for crowd before being surprised by an approaching Jigglypuff, happily singing away. Everyone collapses into sleep almost immediately, and a furious Jigglypuff puffs up in righteous fury.... then relaxes as it sees the tired Whismur swaying on its feet, still conscious.
It jumps down to dance with its fan, but then Whismur falls asleep as well and a doubly shunned Jigglypuff growls with fury and scribbles on everyone's face. Its job done, it turns satisfied for now and heads off into the distance, storming angrily into the sunset.
| BEST QUOTES |
|
