301: A Meditite Fight
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Ash is pleased and his Pokemon seem ecstatic as May and Max watch the celebrations, Max impressed by Ash's dedication to his training. Brock calls out to them all, telling them breakfast is ready and they all rush over, eager to chow down. They settle in, and then suddenly a time warp to the late eighties opens up near them and a cry of COWABUNGA flies through the air.
But wait, no! It wasn't a time warp to the eighties and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at all, but the cry of a young surfing girl who zooms along on the waves dressed in a skin-tight pink halter top that leaves her arms and midriff bare, and tight pink shorts which leave nothing to the imagination. She lands on the beach near the twerps and she is here for a challenge. But not the challenge you'd expect, despite her obvious youth, overly developed body and skimpy attire this girl isn't here to challenge May for her title of Miss Jailbait, but to challenge Ash to a Pokemon battle!
Brock - whose failure to explode in the presence of the big boobed girl in the skimpy gear indicates something about her age - points out to the skimpily clad girl that they're in the middle of breakfast, but like all pretty girls she ignores Brock and begins to introduce herself dramatically.... and a wave crashes over the top of her. She shakes the water loose and tries not to look too embarrassed, then again shouts her name, she is Shauna, Shauna The Battle Girl!
Ash looks confused, but he shouldn't, because she wants what Ash wants....
A Meditite Fight!
Shauna already knows who Ash is, it seems his reputation has preceded him as she explains loudly that she is Brawly's top apprentice AND loving girlfriend!
Ash is surprised to hear she is Brawly's apprentice, Max looks aghast and May is just dismayed, remembering the well built, handsome surfer... and this is his girlfriend!?! But Brock is suspicious, despite her tight fitting clothes and overly developed body; she looks a little young to be anyone's top apprentice!
But not girlfriend? Oh Brock, May isn't going to give it up for you.
Shauna ignores their suspicions, saying she wants to battle with Ash as she pulls a Pokeball out of.... somewhere. Ash for his part hasn't got a fucking clue what is going on, but hey she wants to fight and that's just fine by him, so he calls on Pikachu to represent him. The other twerps look on as Ash and Shauna face off grimly.... and then Shauna's stomach rumbles loudly and she collapses to her knees, moaning she is hungry!
Ash is furious! She was the one who wanted to battle, and now she.... his own stomach begins to growl and he shuts up, embarrassed, while Brock suggests that Shauna join them for breakfast and then she and Ash can fight afterwards. Immediately Shauna rushes up to the table and seats herself, grabbing utensils and declaring herself ready to eat. May and Max stare at the odd girl and mutter she is weird, and Pikachu just seems really, really confused by the entire situation. It stares out to sea, seemingly confused at something out there but as far as can be see is clear sky and blue sea.
Beneath the ocean, however, he find the long shaft of a periscope leading down to a Magikarp shaped Submarine, containing a very hungry Scratch-Cat inside moaning that the twerps always have food while he is always hungry. He can almost smell the food.... in fact he CAN smell the food! Turning around, he gasps as he sees Jesse and James greedily eating from bowls with a steaming pot beside them. He runs up to the pot, furious at his two "friends" for trying to eat food behind his back, but Jesse grins and says of course they saved him some.
"Even Drama Queens need a complete breakfast," giggles James, the biggest queen of them all.
With Meowth's ego stroked, Jesse asks if they have a plan for the twerps yet and Meowth proclaims he does, a great plan in fact that he has obviously spent a lot of time on. They're going to do to the beach and dig some holes!
Oh Meowth.
James asks what if they get caught in mid-shovel? But Meowth has noticed a recurring theme, when the twerps are eating they don't notice nothing! Jesse and James proudly claim their approval for the plan, with James declaring, "The holier the better is what I always say!"
Oh James, you and your love for holes.
Back on the beach, Ash and Shauna finish their meal together and both declare it was great at the same time, then turn to each other and tell the other to stop doing that! Max and May confer with smirks that Ash and Shauna are very much alike, almost like mirror images.
Well, except for the whole boobs thing.
Shauna claims Ash is copying her because they're rivals, but Ash wants to know who the hell said they were rivals in the first place? She explains the reason for her challenge, Brawly told her that Ash was a good trainer (Ash almost blushes in delight at this second-hand compliment) and was better than her, and she can't have her boyfriend thinking some boy is a better trainer than her!
Well Ash could care less why, he's just happy to fight and gets ready to kick things off when Brock notes that it is Ash's turn to do the dishes. Ash looks embarrassed, Shauna is shocked and Brock suggests she help him if she wants to get to battling sooner while a still smirking May and Max giggle away.
The two combatants wash the dishes in the river (ewww) and continue to argue as May says they're like two peas in a pod, Max agreeing and adding they're like two hot headed peas in a pod.
Meanwhile Team Rocket have left their Magikarp Submarine on the beach and have dug a huge number of holes, Jesse impressed with how many and James saying with these odds the twerps are bound to fall into at least one! Meowth laughs, saying if the twerps don't, then THEY"RE the idiots, then promptly falls into the hole, leading to Jesse and James to grow massive heads and roar that he deserved that.
Well... okay.
Meanwhile deeper in the forest Brock is collecting firewood, probably the only one smart enough to think of such a thing. He looks out through a gap in the trees at the view of the sea and frowns, feeling like something is off. Turning, he notices three Shroomish charge by apparently in terror, though nothing seems to be chasing them. Further out where Brock was looking moments earlier, black clouds peek out behind the white ones.
Back on the beach, Team Rocket have covered their holes and hidden while Shauna and Ash have returned to the shore to battle like samurai on a beach. Shauna declares it is time to fight and Ash retorts that she should stop talking. Team Rocket watch these pre-match goings-on as they giggle conspiratorially, knowing that Ash, Shauna and their Pokemon are likely to fall into a hole at any moment. Ash tells Pikachu to get ready, the fat little rodent having been staring out to sea as it was earlier in the day. The other twerps seem to notice this, but Ash and Shauna are completely oblivious to anything but battle.
Shauna kicks things off, sending out Meditite, a bizarre little Pokemon that looks like an Indian Fakir got a Princess Leia hairdo and then had a soft serve ice-cream poured onto its head.
"Meditite, the Meditation Pokemon," explains Dextina to Ash, "Meditite meditate in order to build up its natural energy. It is said it eat only one berry a day."
Ash tells Pikachu to be on guard and Shauna immediately charges in, having Meditite try a Focus Punch which Pikachu dodges. Meditite then tries a High Jump Kick which Pikachu again dodges. Team Rocket are watching all of this, Jesse wondering how they keep missing all the beautiful holes they built, Meowth muttering something isn't right and James suggesting the odds of NOT falling in must be worse than the odds of being ht by lightning. Jesse suddenly snaps, furious at the lack of courtesy the twerps are showing by NOT falling into a hole. Despite being in hiding, she stands up and begins roaring at Pikachu and Meditite - who along with Ash and Shauna remain blissfully unaware of her - to fall into the holes.
Meditite keeps kicking and punching at Pikachu, which once took on a Jet Li-esque Bellsprout at the Indigo League Championship and held its own. As such, Pikachu keeps dodging, Shauna yelling at Meditite to aim carefully while Ash encourages Pikachu to keep on dodging. Brock thinks Ash is waiting for a perfect opportunity, pointing out that Ash's strategy is the same as was used to dodge waves earlier that morning. Pikachu is aware of what is going on around it and is moving to dodge the moves while at the same time looking for an opening. Shauna on the other hand is trying to muscle her way to victory, similar to Ash's unsuccessful technique against Brawly.
Shauna instructs Meditite to focus and use High Jump Kick, but Pikachu uses Quick Attack, remembering its Wave-Dodge Training and using the skills learned to dodge Meditite and launch another Quick Attack. A fired up fat little rodent missile of doom flies directly towards an exposed Meditite.... and a voice yells out, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!"
The twerps look up as Brawly appears on a ridge above the beach, then leaps down dramatically to the beach and approaches them. Ash doesn't seem overly surprised to see the Gym Leader (though Team Rocket are!) and Shauna seems more nervous than she should to see her boyfriend. She calls Meditite back into its Pokeball, the battle clearly over.
Brawly explains his presence (though Ash never questioned it) explaining that he was told at the nearby Pokemon Centre he could find them there, and he's come because there is a hurricane approaching and the inlet they're in could very well end up underwater. Brock finally realises why all the Pokemon were acting weird earlier, and May drops to her knee and hugs a surprised Max, asking what they should do. Brawly then seems to notice Shauna for the first time and asks what she is doing there.
Shauna blushes and stammers, and Brock once again fails to read a females mood by happily declaring that Brawly should know, she came here to battle Ash who was only too willing to prepare for his rematch by fighting Brawly's girlfri.....
Shauna covers his mouth and grins ferociously, saying they should start packing as she drags a confused Brock away.
Brock, enjoy it, it is the last time a girl with big boobs will happily drag you out of sight of everyone else.
Since Team Rocket were surprisingly not exposed by Jesse's yelling, James asks what they should do about the hurricane and Meowth suggests they jump into the Magikarp Submarine and drop it to the bottom of the ocean floor until the hurricane passes. Jesse is in love with the idea, it fits in perfectly with her chosen method of leading her life, running away and not thinking about anyone else!
The hurricane weather rolls in, Wingull sheltering together in a nest on an exposed cliffside. While the stupid Pokemon get ready to die, Brawly takes the twerps through the forest as the rain pours down, telling them they can find a cave nearby. Shauna sees some Seedot shivering on the ground together and tells them they should come with them, and May comments that Shauna can be nice when she wants. Brock hears this compliment and decides to show how nice he can be as well, offering three Shroomish (or possibly two Shroomish and one disembodied Todd/Snap hairdo) sanctuary with them as well.
Meanwhile in the cove of the inlet, Team Rocket are trying to pull themselves into their submarine as the waves rock them back and forth, James bemoaning the hard work they did on the holes now being reduced to mud. Jesse really isn't worried about that at the moment, but when Meowth tries to get them inside the hatch is broken! With a sickening realisation that they're screwed, Team Rocket turn in time to see a massive wave sweep over them and send them flying through the air to their probably deaths.
The twerps continue on up an old cliff-path, May looking at the long drop to her side and squealing that she can't go on. Ash suggests they hold hands (smoooooth!) so they get into a chain with Brock holding hands with May who holds hands with Max who holds Hands with Ash who holds hands with Shauna who..... seems too nervous to hold hands with Brawly. They ask her why, after all she IS his girlfriend, and a confused Brawly declares that this is news to him!
"ALL RIGHT I'M GOING TO BE SOME DAY, OKAY!" she yells, blushing furiously.
Brock asks if this means she isn't his top apprentice either, and Ash starts to ask a question (like, what's a girlfriend? or maybe why does Shauna have weird bumps on her chest?) but Brawly cuts him off saying that this isn't the time or place to talk, then demands that Shauna take his hand.
She keeps blushing but does as she is told as they continue on up the cliffside as above them lightning strikes, sending a rock tumbling down towards them. Brawly calls out Hariyama and the massively build Pokemon uses Arm Thrust to smash away the rocks, but then a tree begins to fall and it is up to Ash to save the day by having Pikachu use Thunderbolt. Brawly congratulates Ash on quick thinking, but then a GIANT MAGIKARP falls out of the sky!
"INCOMING!" scream Team Rocket, still clutching to the side of the submarine as it rams face first into the cliff and finally shakes the trio three, sending them falling to the feet of the twerps.
"It's Team Rocket?" cries Ash who by this point shouldn't really be that surprised. May asks what they're doing and Team Rocket drop down to their knees and beg for help, saying they're throwing them on their mercy. The twerps seem unsure, but Brawly smiles and says they can come with them, and three wobbly eyed Team Rocket members thank him from the bottom of their crooked hearts.
In the cave they find all Pokemon from around the area already inside the cave, including what looks like the three Wingull from earlier. The twerps sit around a campfire about halfway into the cave, Team Rocket sitting away from them in the back of the cave and Shauna sitting closer to the entrance and away from the group.
Brawly comments that sometimes it seems Pokemon are smarter than humans, since they sensed the hurricane earlier and made their way directly to shelter. May - either out of pure bitchy malice or complete obliviousness to the situation - asks Shauna why she won't come and sit by the cosy fire with Brawly and the others, Shauna grunting back that she is fine over there. Whether consciously or not, May has raised the issue of Brawly and Shauna so Brock asks Brawly why he hasn't made Shauna his..... apprentice..... yet, causing Brawly to laugh. He explains that Shauna is into battling as much as anyone else he knows, but she has a bit of a short fuse. It is important to connect with your Pokemon, more important than skill at battling, and May giggles and says Shauna really IS just like Ash.
Well Ash isn't going to take anyone telling him he has a short fuse, so he yells and shakes his fist at her, asking her if she knows what he has been doing all this time! Trying to learn not to lose his cool!
"And how do you think it's been going?" Brawly asks with a grin at the fired up, definitely cool-losing Ash.
Ash mutters he is a "little better" and then Brawly insists Shauna come over if she doesn't want to get sick. She stands up (the camera getting a disturbing close up shot of her underage ass in her skin tight pink shorts) and moves over to them, before Brawly makes the suggestion we should have all expected.
He declares to all the kids hanging around the campfire with him that nature is awesome, and asks if they've ever thought about that. But it turns out he isn't going to break out the bong and suggest they get naked and smoke, but instead talks about man's powerlessness against the power of nature. He points out that the Pokemon realised trouble was coming and didn't stay to fight it, but instead ran to safety and hid. There is something they could all learn from that, and Ash puts it surprisingly succinctly.
"You can't fight nature, and you shouldn't try."
"Wow, that's some food for thought they're all chewing on," mutters James.
"Yeah, you said a Meowthful," agrees Meowth.
"Who cares about that? I just want warmth!" yells Jesse.
As a million fanboys cry out to their televisions, "MY LAP IS WARM!" and get odd looks from their mothers, Brawly points out to Team Rocket that it is a lot warmer by the fire and they take the invitation, coming over and warming their hands.... or in Meowth's case his butt. The Scratch-Cat turns his back to the fire, complaining that he was freezing his tail off.... then he smells something cooking.... his tail! He begins running about screaming for help, and Ash just sighs at the screaming on-fire cat and mutters that it is always something.
Goddamit Ash.
The next morning the hurricane has passed and the sun is out, Max coming out and telling the others. They all wake up and May asks where the Pokemon went, and Brawly explains when the hurricane passed they all returned to the forest. But then shadows fall over them and they turn to see Team Rocket standing in the mouth of the cave, asking if they remember them, Team Rocket, the thieves of Pikachu!
"So here we go again," growls May.
"Prepare for trouble, our motto stays the same!"
"And make it double, cause we think you're lame!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket hit the road at the speed of light,"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Dat's right!"
"WOBBUFFET!"
"You can't do that, we helped you!" yells Shauna.
"That was then!" cries Jesse, throwing out a Pokeball, "SEVIPER!"
"This is now! CACNEA" adds James, throwing out Cacnea and getting a loving hug of pain from the cactus Pokemon.
Seviper tries Poison Tail and Cacnea Pin Missile, but Pikachu dodges and Ash calls for a Thunderbolt, but then Brawly warns the walls will crumble if they use an electric attack. He then shows some surprising temper for a "surfer dude" and snaps at Team Rocket for being ungrateful, calling out Hariyama which throws out one massive arm in an Arm Thrust that smashes into Team Rocket as a group and sends them blasting off again!
"I suppose... we could have been a little more grateful" gasps Jesse as they fly through the air.
"Have we experienced a turning point... in our selfish lives?" asks James.
"Are you NUTS!?!" roars Meowth, as they disappear into a twinkle in the distance as May declares goodbye and good riddance and Brock laughs that they'll be back, they never learn.
Shauna then asks for one more battle with Ash and he looks unsure, so she says please.
"I don't know..." starts Ash, then grins and says okay.
Chances are, he was going to say, "I don't know who you are" when his dim memory finally kicked in and he remembered.
Brawly judges the battle, a one on one with no time limit. May and Max wonder if it will be the same as before, with Ash and Pikachu dodging too many attacks from Meditite, or if Shauna learnt anything. Meditite charges in with Focus Punch and Pikachu uses Quick Attack, but then Meditite uses Detect at Shauna's command and dodges Pikachu's attack, shocking everyone.
They land and prepare to fight again, Meditite using Meditate and Pikachu using Quick Attack, but Meditite dodges and the twerps are again shocked, she's completely changed her battle strategy! But Brawly grins, explaining she has been training with Meditite since she was a little girl (three years?) and it was only her eagerness to battle that prevented her putting her strategy together properly before.
Meditite uses High Jump Kick and Pikachu prepares to dodge, then seems to trip and fall flat on its face. Shauna feels Meditite's movement and prepares to finish things, but Ash and Pikachu are doing exactly the same, with the trip either a feint or something they instinctively realised they could take advantage off. Ash waits, eyes closed as he senses the right moment and has Pikachu dodge the attack, then blast Meditite with an electric attack.
Meditite crashes back through the sand and lays moaning on its back, Brawly declaring Ash and Pikachu the winner! The twerps congratulate him as does Brawly, who is impressed with Ash's superior combinations and sense of timing. Shauna thanks Meditite for a great battle and then thanks Ash, saying he did a great job. Brawly asks her if she could sense Meditite's movement and she says she could, but understands she has a long way to go.
Brawly then seems to see the inappropriately dressed (or undressed) young girl in a new light and approaches her, telling her that she isn't alone. She stares up at him in wonder, not alone? then does that mean....?
But no, instead of declaring his illegal love for the overly developed young girl as she might have hoped, he declares she'll never be alone because she has Meditite!
Yeah, that'll keep her warm at night.
Oh yeah, and him too.... he adds as an aside, though he warns her that he trains his apprentices hard.
She can't believe it, she's his apprentice!?!?! She has finally achieved her dream of being a scantily clad assistant to a surfer dude who loves "nature" and likes to work his apprentices "hard".
Can you see the newspaper headlines already?
The twerps congratulate her and she and Meditite celebrate, Shauna doing some Chun Li rapid kicks as Ash asks Brawly if they can please have a rematch. Brawly is more than happy too, and tells them he knows the perfect place. He points at an island out in the water and when they ask how they can get there he tells them to watch and learn, and then despite all his talk about not fighting nature earlier, he appears to use drug addled mind powers or something as bizarre to force the tide to go out in the space of 10 seconds. A rock path is cleared to the island and now all Ash has to do is walk over there.... and he can finally have his Second Gym Badge rematch!
What's the bet he trips over on his way there?
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Even Drama Queens need a complete breakfast!" |
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