300: Ready, Willing, and Sableye
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The twerps settle down to their breakfast, May commenting that it is the first time she has ever eaten a sandwich with a spoon. Ash glares over at Corphish and asks it if it is happy with itself... and it is! It appears to be ecstatically happy, because as far as it is concerned it has helped! Ash mutters that it needs to improve its attitude, but the problem with this is that Corphish's attitude is one of camaraderie and helpfulness. It thinks it is helping everyone out and doing a great job, in fact when it comes to helping, Corphish is....
Ready, Willing and Sableeye
A little further off we find Team Rocket approaching a mine built into a dusty, rocky area of land. James checks a map at Jesse's request and tells her that this old abandoned mine was once a gold mine, but it is many years since it yielded up any bling. Meowth comments that it used to be a mountain of treasure and Jesse uses her wonderful talent for selective hearing by proclaiming that a Treasure Mountain is just the kind of thing she is looking for, and fantasises pleasantly about building herself a home made out of gold. James reminds her it hasn't given up gold for a long time, and she retorts that there might be an untapped vein somewhere, then grins as she proclaims that just the idea of gold is giving her a scent of the sweet smell of success!
"I think I'm picking up that happy smell too!" says Meowth, standing next to Jesse's crotch.
"Well I'm not!" mutters James.
Well of course not James! You wouldn't equate that scent with success!
Jesse then explains her plan, they'll empty the empty mine of its gold and then give it to the Boss, and then he'll..... spend it? Well maybe, but more importantly he'll give them a promotion!
For Jesse it's not just about money, but the power to order peons about.
They head into the cave, which is remarkably well maintained and find an old trolley-car sitting on the tracks. Hopping in to spare their feet the effort of travelling, they head into the darkness of the mine and immediately get creeped out, a superstitious Meowth suggesting the place is haunted.
"Quit it Meowth, you know how that stuff scares James!" hisses a terrified Jesse, accompanied by a proud salute from an agreeing Wobbuffet.
As they continue into the darkness, two glowing eyes appear before them in the dark.... and then a manic grin shines white in the darkness, but upside down and ABOVE the eyes!
James cries out and grabs a stick suspiciously near Jesse's crotch (maybe there is a reason Brock doesn't go goofy around Jesse.... though that would make James lack of interest a curious thing!) and the trolley pulls to a stop, Meowth falling forward out of it. The eyes approach, Jesse squealing it is a ghost, and James puts the trolley into reverse (you can do that?) with a squeal of, "MUMMY HELP ME!"
A vaguely humanoid shape approaches Meowth, skin dark with jewelled eyes and a massive red jewel on its chest. Meowth lifts his head and screeches at the sight of it, turning around and running before tripping, smacking his head and fainting. The odd Pokemon approaches and stares at Meowth's prone figure, gasping to itself, "Gollum!"
Whoops, sorry! Gasping, "Sableeye!"
It says its name a few more times, but the unconscious Meowth doesn't react, so it begins poking at him, muttering its name, completely confused.
Outside, Jesse, James and Wobbuffet sit in their trolley at the end of the track, wondering where Meowth is. James fears the worst; Meowth has been kidnapped by a ghost! He says they have to go back in and save him, but then they hear Ash's voice as he and the others approach the mine, saying this is a great place to train. Jesse and James jump out of the trolley and scarper to hide, Wobbuffet tumbling out after them and rushing to follow.
The twerps approach the cave which Max has heard is an old goldmine despite not being able to find any info in the PokeNav (yet James' paper map had the info!), with Brock suggesting it looks abandoned which Ash thinks is perfect. When Brock asks why an abandoned goldmine is perfect for what Ash wants to do, he doesn't bother to answer (what a jerk!) and instead walks to the mine entrance and hits a switch, which turns on the surprisingly still working lights. Then, only after having done that does he deign to answer the question put to him by the older boy who cooks for him, cleans for him and makes sure the skid marks are out of his underwear. Ash wants to test their "courage" and when the others all suggest it isn't a great idea to go into an old abandoned mine that nobody knows they're in, Ash explains that what he really wants to do is give Corphish a scare in the hopes of settling down its.... exuberant.... manner. His whispers what this plan entails to May while the others stand there with no knowledge, and she declares it is a great idea! She then grabs Max and pulls him into her chest, asking if he'll come along with her. Max explains to her breasts with understandable trepidation that she is always the first to buy into these crazy plans.
Team Rocket listen from behind a rock near the entrance, James muttering that they should warn the twerps, but Jesse says that when they encounter a "REAL" ghost they'll come running out just in time for them to grab Pikachu. Wobbuffet leaps out to declare its agreement, but Jesse and James desperately cover its mouth to keep their own over-exuberant Pokemon from giving them away.
Inside the mine and in a trolley, May and Max travel down the tracks while Max asks May exactly WHAT Ash's great plan is. Grabbing up a white sheet, May explains they need to dress up like members of the Klu Klux Klan and horrify Corphish with blatant racism..... oops, she explains they need to dress up like ghosts, and Max can't believe that THIS is the "brilliant" plan.
Elsewhere in the mine, inside the old Mine Control Shed Meowth awakens from his unexpected nap, seeing Sableeye in the light for the first time. Meowth says he'll do whatever it says if it doesn't hurt him.... then realises that thanks to knowing his Pokemon, this is a Sableeye.
The Sableeye explains happily through its wide grin that it just likes scaring humans for a laugh, which isn't such a bad hobby in Meowth's eyes. Even better, it is offering food to him, as it takes a bite out of what looks like a rock and then offers the rest to Meowth. He takes a bite and realises to his pain that it looks like a rock because it IS a rock. He snaps at Sableeye for tricking him but apparently the bizarre Pokemon was unaware other Pokemon don't eat rocks on a regular basis, and then it asks Meowth to stick around and play pranks with it, since it is lonely.
On still operational security monitors set into one wall (apparently the mine was abandoned in short order, with expensive equipment being left behind as well as a generator to keep it running) May and Max appear on camera, and Meowth gasps out that they are twerps. Sableeye continues to grin, telling Meowth that to it, they're just another couple of suckers to prank, and asks Meowth to help out. Well Meowth is only too pleased to agree, though his idea isn't so much to play pranks as to curry favour with the Boss. If he can find the gold Jesse was thinking about earlier, he can give it to the Boss and get that big fat promotion "foist!"
Ash and Pikachu enter the cave, having left Brock outside to just stand around doing nothing until Ash is ready for him to cook again (what a life, eh Brock?). Ash calls out Corphish which looks grim and determined to fight, then is surprised to hear from Ash that is hasn't been called out for a battle. No, Corphish has been summoned for a "test of courage" by walking with him through this creepy old mine.
Corphish stares back up at Ash with half-lidded eyes, obviously not thinking the cave is THAT scary, and when Ash demands to know if it is making fun of him its eyes grow wide and it assures him it isn't. Ash grins knowingly, telling Corphish it should watch its attitude since there is a very real possibility that there might be GHOSTS in this spooky old mine. As if on cue, a "wooooo" noise echoes down the mine, but it isn't a wandering and confused Ric Flair looking to elbow drop something. No, as Corphish looks on in shock and horror, terrified.... Max appears riding on May's shoulders with a sheet draped over them, woooing and boooing as they approached the terrified Corphish while Ash struggles to contain his laughter.... and then Corphish suddenly leaps forward and tackles the "ghost!"
May and Max fall backwards with a squawk into the trolley, the sheet falling off them though it is unclear if Corphish sees this or not. It charges forward screaming its own name and smashes the trolley, sending it flying down the tracks as it gives chase, then suddenly veers right and runs down a side tunnel as Ash follows after, calling out to Corphish as he sees what he thought was the perfect plan fall to pieces.
May and Max lie in the bottom of the trolley as it continues to roll down the tracks, mumbling that it has all gone horribly wrong before they hear a quiet whisper of, ".....Sableeye...." from within the darkness. Suddenly the freakish gem-eyed Pokemon leers up on the edge of the trolley, terrifying May who cries out that it is a ghost. Luckily for her, Max grew up home-schooled with no friends and has absorbed all kinds of useless facts, such as this Pokemon is not a ghost, but a Sableeye!
Realising its scam has been rumbled, Sableeye leaps up onto the roof as May pulls out her Pokedex and learns what Max already knew.
"Sableeye, the Darkness Pokemon," explains Dextina, "Sableeye normally live deep within caves and eat rocks. They use their sharp claws to dig through the earth."
Sableeye sits on the roof snickering at the two siblings, Max furious that Sableeye thinks it is funny they were scared, and May agrees. She calls out Torchic and tells it to use Ember, but Sableeye dodges, jumps down and.... LICKS Torchic.
IT LICKED TORCHIC!
May calls the horrified little victim of sexual abuse back, and then Meowth walks into scene holding a small box with a button on it behind his back. He congratulates Sableeye on a job well done, and hearing him talk confirms for May and Max that it is Team Rocket's Meowth, so they demand to do what he is doing here.
What is Meowth doing here? Well he's here to push this button obviously, as he tells them as he pushes the button and drops a net down onto them as Sableeye laughs uproariously.
Outside the cave, Corphish spits and shouts its name as it waves its pincers about, Brock guessing that Corphish saw through May and Max's piss poor disguise and now it is furious. Ash admits it is true, then asks where May and Max are. When Brock tells him that they haven't come out yet he is confused, he spent so long finding Corphish and getting back out they should have gotten back well before him. There is nothing else for it then, they'll have to go back in.
In the control shed, Meowth and Sableeye share a laugh as they see Ash and Brock on the security monitor, while Max and May hang in their net from the roof of the shed. When the two prankster Pokemon leave, May wonders if they really are best friends, but Max says Meowth is obviously just using Sableeye and plans to betray him, so they should help it.
Uuh.... nice judgment call, what if it is Sableeye using Meowth?
As Ash and Brock walk through the mine, Corphish is still just as pissed off at Ash as before, though Ash fails to see what a colossal prick he has been to a happy Pokemon that doesn't understand it is screwing shit up. He tells it not to be such a jerk since it is partly its fault they are in this mess. This just seems to piss Corphish off even more though, but before the blame game can be played any further they spot a trolley deep down the tracks. It approaches them slowly, Corphish looking on confused as Ash and Brock look into the trolley.... and Sableeye lowers down and LICKS Ash's neck! Horrified at the sensation, Ash turns his head and asks Pikachu if it just "touched" his neck.
Wouldn't it be more disturbing if it was?
Brock looks about as well, and Sableeye lowers down and licks his neck too, causing Brock to jump about while Ash asks him what is wrong.
He got hard?
Meowth sneaks up behind Corphish wearing a black body suit with a veil over his face (much like the "invisible" costume he and Jesse wore back when they returned James to his family. Sliding up behind Corphish, he whacks it on the back of the head and darts away. Corphish jumps up startled, then turns and glares at Ash before running full force into the startled twerp. Pikachu jumps down to defend Ash, but Corphish tackles it aside to try and have another go at the idiot it thinks hit it. Max and may watch all this from the security monitors, trying to figure out a way to get free when suddenly May remembers she has Pokemon and calls out Torchic. Still violated and feeling horrified by getting a good licking earlier, it still manages to burn May and Max free using Ember, and May quickly puts it back into its Pokeball to repress some nasty memories.
Back in the tunnel, Pikachu fires a Thunderbolt at Corphish which dodges aside and uses Bubble beam which Pikachu dodges in turn. Ash yells at them to stop as Meowth leaps up in his "invisible" suit and fires a net that catches both Pikachu and Corphish. Pulling off his black suit, Meowth roars with laughter as Sableeye snickers beside him. Ash is confused - as always - and wonders why Sableeye would be helping Meowth, discovering why moments later when Meowth declares that he and Sableeye are the best of friends.... and then May and Max ride in on a trolley with irrefutable evidence that Meowth isn't really Sableeye's friend.... he's a member of Team Rocket!
Does Sableeye even know what a Team Rocket is?
But as Meowth tries to cover up and convince his pal that he isn't going to betray him (which he is), Jesse's voice calls out through the mine, congratulating him on his good work.
"Prepare for trouble as we glide into view," calls out Jesse from the darkness of the mine, appearing on a trolley with James.
"Make it double because that's what we do!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"We'll cut the rest," smiles Jesse, as her and James congratulate Meowth on pulling this all off by himself. She picks up Corphish and Pikachu in a net and Sableeye roars at Meowth, who leaps into Team Rocket's trolley as it begins to roll away, guessing the jig is up.
Taillow is called out by Ash and begins pecking at Jesse's head, and she yells at it to back off, her hair takes a long time to get like that! Reaching behind her, she grabs a small smoke bomb out from ....somewhere.... and prepares to throw it.
"Uhh, but Jesse sweetheart...." mutters James.
Somewhere in a basement, the festering corpse of Rocketshipping - dead for 146 episodes now - suddenly jerks up and claws at the stake buried in its black heart. It pulls and tugs but the stake is too firmly placed, and it collapses back onto the floor, gives one last pathetic jerk of its limbs and then dies again.
She throws the bomb and it explodes, sending Team Rocket and their trolley flying off of the tracks and out of the mine as the support beams begin to creak and cracks appear all about the twerps. May is absolutely terrified for her life and grabs Max close to her (which will probably be very similar to the way he eventually loses his virginity.... before Brock!) but Sableeye calls out to them all and leads them away from the collapsing mineshaft.
Outside the mine Team Rocket recover from the explosion, James blaming Jesse for almost killing them, but hey at least they have Pikachu and Corphish! Meowth does feel kind of bad for killing Sableeye.....
Not to mention four living, breathing human beings.
Jesse and James obviously feel bad AS WELL, but say they don't because hey, it isn't their fault... and then Ash's voice cries out that it IS their fault, they're to blame!
No it ain't a ghost, looking up onto the top of the mine shaft, Team Rocket are shocked to see the twerps have gotten out through another exit thanks to Sableeye.
Meowth is pleased as punch to see Sableeye okay, but Sableeye is not as pleased to see its pranking buddy and is ESPECIALLY pissed that Team Rocket have ruined its favourite playground. It jumps down at Ash's direction (apparently he is allowed to order around wild Pokemon now) and cuts Corphish and Pikachu free. Corphish immediately zooms out with pincers glowing and uses Crabhammer as Pikachu uses Iron Tail, smacking Team Rocket over and leaving them vulnerable to a massive blast of Nightshade from Sableeye that sends them blasting off again.
As the sun sets, Sableeye says its goodbyes to the twerps as they thank him for his help, Pikachu and Corphish doing so too. The twerps think that maybe Corphish DID learn a lesson, since it is being thankful to Sableeye after all, but it seems they still don't get it. Corphish is a jerk, yes, but its heart is in the right place and it loves causing chaos. It got to head butt a ghost, beat up Team Rocket, smack down Ash and Pikachu AND destroy a weird gem-eyed freak's home and get thanked for it!
For Corphish, life since hooking up with Ash is a grand old time!
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