297: Turning Over a Nuzleaf
|
|
Inside the cave it discovers a sleeping Loudred, and intrigued by the bizarre Pokemon, Corphish gently pokes it and when it mutters beneath its breath, Corphish is delighted! Cause and effect! It reaches up to one of Loudred's speaker like ears and pinches down tight, awakening Loudred and sending it running while roaring loudly directly into the path of the twerps while that delighted jerk Corphish hangs on for dear life. Oh dear, is that Corphish ever going to be....
Turning Over a Nuzleaf.
The twerps grip their ears in agony and Brock calls out Forretress which Rapid Spins through the wall so the twerps can escape. Ash calls out to Pikachu which - along with most of the other Pokemon - has become separated from the humans, but Loudred reacts first, turning and charging in the general direction of Ash and slamming full speed into a stalagmite sticking up out of the ground. The twerps are sent stumbling by the shockwave and Silcoon falls out of May's arms, rolling down the cave tunnel followed by Pikachu, Mudkip, Treecko, Torchic, and Corphish, with Lotad gamely bringing up the rear. Loudred jumps off of the stalagmite it ran into and then burrows down into the ground, gracing us all once again with the dubious honour of seeing its asshole.
The twerps sit moaning, then realise that all of the Pokemon but Taillow and Forretress have disappeared, including the essentially immobile Silcoon!
Deeper in the cave, a miserable Silcoon sits in a hole in the ground on a ledge above a pool of water. Pikachu and the others arrive at the lip of the hole and the fat little rodent tries mightily to stretch down and grab the cocooned Pokemon, but can't quite make it. Corphish decides to help, clambering over Pikachu and reaching down with its pincers, which slide over Silcoon's smooth back and drop it into the water before Corphish overbalances and takes Pikachu and Torchic with it. Treecko exchanges an exasperated look with Mudkip and they both jump in after it, and Lotad - who hasn't got a fucking clue what the hell is going on - decides to join in the fun and follows them.
Pikachu grips onto Silcoon as they travel downstream, Torchic rides Mudkip whilst Corphish, Treecko, and Lotad swim. The Pokemon seem incapable of fighting the current, and quickly come to a small waterfall and fly over the side and out of the cave to the forest outside. Pikachu lies with Silcoon dazed for a moment, then looks up and sees all the other Pokemon appear to have landed safely. Except Corphish, which is trapped half in the ground and struggling to get free. Pikachu grabs a pincer and struggles with all of its fat little might, but fails to get the crabby Pokemon loose. Treecko then calmly approaches chewing on its twig like a cigar, shunting Pikachu aside and lining up Corphish for a Pound Attack from its broad tail. Corphish is ripped loose of the earth.... and keeps on going, flying high into the air and higher and higher before it disappears into a twinkle of light..... then comes roaring back down to ground and smashes into the earth.
Its feet appear to absorb the shock roughly and it glares furiously at Treecko, which stares back with that smug, "I'm Clint Eastwood, motherfucker," look it has. Corphish won't back down though and Treecko decides it has had enough, preparing to throw down and bitchslap some sense into Corphish. Pikachu and Mudkip rush in-between the two and try to separate them (which is an oddly cute sight, a fat rat holding back an angry gecko while a Water Kitty tries to calm down an angry Crawdad). Torchic stands next to a completely befuddled Lotad as the two angry Pokemon are finally calmed; distressed at the fact they appear to be lost in a strange forest. Pikachu takes the lead, grabbing Silcoon up and setting off with the other Pokemon in line in an effort to find the twerps.
Inside the cave, the twerps have failed to find the Pokemon, and figure that since they've looked everywhere in the cave and not found them, they must have somehow gotten out. May wonders if the loud Pokemon is still around and Max explains it was a Loudred. Curious, Ash gets the info on the bizarre, asshole displaying Pokemon from Dextina.
"Loudred, the big voice Pokemon," says Dextina, "Loudred has a voice powerful enough to blast a wooden house into splinters. Its round ears act as speakers."
"Big Voice Pokemon?" asks Brock, which May says is an appropriate name. Max comments that the speakers on its ears make it even louder while Ash decides they should head outside the cave to look, vowing to find the Pokemon no matter what is takes.
In another part of the cave that the twerps claim to have combed over entirely, we find Team Rocket.
Jesse is confused, she is positive she saw the twerps go into the cave, but despite James looking in every "crook and cranny" (oh James) they haven't been able to find them. Meowth declares that at least they're not lost, because they can always rely on him to get them out.
"Oh Meowth, you're my hero!" declares Jesse, lifting a leg and clasping her hands to her cheek, "At least you would be if you weren't short, fat and ugly!"
OUCH!
Meowth is furious at the insult but Jesse declares dismissively she was paying a compliment, and then mutters that she can barely see her hand in front of her face, wasn't James supposed to bring a light? Well James says he thought Meowth would do that, and Meowth says he thought Jesse would, and Jesse says they should no better than to rely on others.
Meowth and James are distraught; they're never going to get out of this cave! But Jesse declares that this isn't the attitude that lead Team Rocket to such heroic feats as.... umm, that one time they.... uhhh.
Wobbuffet pops up across the other side of the cave to proudly salute and cry its name and Jesse snaps at it to get back in its Pokeball, then notices (despite being "barely able to see her hand in front of her face") that Wobbuffet is saluting while standing on... Loudred!
It leaps up with a roar and shatters the air with its voice, crashing Team Rocket through the rock face and into the air, blasting them off again as Meowth exclaims that he told them he knew a way out.
Meanwhile the lost Pokemon continue to march on carrying Silcoon like it was the Ark Of The Covenant, prepared to melt the faces of any Nazis who get in their way. As they walk, Corphish notices some mushrooms and greedily rushes over to eat one. It grabs it with a pincer and prepares to eat, but then Pikachu smacks it away, which infuriates the crabby Pokemon. Pikachu explains via its innate French ability to use mime, mimicking the eating of the mushroom, followed by choking, collapsing and then death.... them mushrooms is poisonous!
Corphish is shocked by this display, and then - being a jerk - slowly begins to reach for another mushroom anyway when Mudkip suddenly barks, attracting their attention. The Water Kitty has found some berries, and Corphish happily charges and begins gobbling the berries down. But it eats too quickly and a berry becomes lodged in its throat, and it begins to turn blue from lack of oxygen.
Treecko saves the day again, calmly walking up behind Corphish and smacking it in the back with another Pound Attack that knocks the berry from its mouth. Corphish crashes into the ground, chokes up the berry and then begins jumping up and down.
Wow, what a jerk!
The Pokemon then continue on their exodus, watched from a tree by an odd looking Pokemon. Humanoid, but only about three feet tall with a rounded head, pointy nose and a kind of bark-like mask over its eyes and nose. Rounded thighs give the appearance of bark cargo pants and the overall impression of the odd Pokemon is that it is a little savage like something out of a Victorian novella about Deepest, Darkest Africa.
Watching the marching, chanting Pokemon the Nuzleaf grins and grabs a leaf, then begins to play a tune that makes the Pokemon below drowsy. They chant slowly, shuffling rather than walking as they circle the same rock again and again, apparently hypnotised by the tune Nuzleaf is playing.
Amused by this, the Nuzleaf begins to laugh and stops playing the tune, and Treecko fights off the effects of its drowsiness and realises they walking circles! Pikachu and the others have also recovered (Lotad may never have been affected, it probably would have walked in circles regardless) and they look around as they hear laughing, looking up to the trees and seeing the Nuzleaf mocking them.
An angry Treecko spits its twig and Nuzleaf darts aside as the twig embeds itself into the wood behind it. Landing on the ground before them, Corphish charges at the Nuzleaf and swings a pincer which the laughing Pokemon easily dodges, laughing until it realises it wasn't as fast as it thought... Corphish has cut a wedge out of the leaf coming out of its head! Suddenly the laughter stops, the Pokemon leaping up into the trees with a cry of Nuzleaf that begins to reverberate and echo throughout the forest. The Pokemon is calling reinforcements!
Elsewhere in the forest, Taillow flies above the twerps on the lookout for the Pokemon, while a concerned May worries about Torchic and Silcoon. She has come a long way since her first appearance where she declared she didn't even like Pokemon, and Ash tells her that they'll find them.... plus they'll be there to defend each other if they face trouble.
Immediately giving lie to Ash's brave statement, we get to watch the disintegration of the group as their own greed picks them off one by one. First to fall is Corphish, which is walking last in line when some berries are dangled down above it on a rope. Clamping onto the berries immediately, Corphish is hauled into the air with a squawk. Next, Lotad notices a quiet little pond off their path and takes the chance to slip in for a quick piss, and then a net beneath the water hauls it up. Treecko is smarter, of course, but when it turns and realises that Corphish and Lotad have disappeared a rope drops down and lassos its tail, hauling it up into the air as well as it struggles for freedom. Torchic completely fails to notice Treecko's struggling disappearance, but does notice a pretty flower in the ground, and then a series of flowers running along the ground away from the others, culminating in a mound of the delightful, pretty things. It rushes onto the mound, and a net beneath the grass hauls Torchic up too, but not before it can cry out in alarm.
Mudkip and Pikachu freeze, turning at the noise which gives the Nuzleaf in a tree above them the chance to lower down and grab Silcoon, then haul it up into the trees. Pikachu cries out in shock as it watches multiple Nuzleaf rush off through the trees with Silcoon, and it and Mudkip charges after them as Taillow swoops by and sees them, and then turns to let the twerps know.
Deeper in the woods, the captured Pokemon are being held in a cage by the little tribe of savages, the original Nuzleaf pointing to the cut in its leaf and explaining to the others that Corphish is the one responsible. Whether it tells them it was screwing with them beforehand is unclear, but it seems the tribe plans to protect their own as they set a fire with malicious intent. Torchic cries in anguish at the idea of being turned into Kentucky Fried Torchic, while Lotad doesn't seem to know what the hell is going on. Treecko and Corphish meanwhile try to work their way free with Treecko using a tackle and then Corphish trying Crabhammer, but neither having any effect on the cage. The Nuzleaf laugh, as in the bushes we find Team Rocket watching the primitive scene with interest. With no C3P0 to pretend to be a God, the Pokemon are pretty much screwed, and Meowth explains as such to Jesse and James, identifying the Pokemon as Nuzleaf. James squeals (seriously, he squeals!) that Nuzleaf are RASCALLY little Pokemon and Meowth explains the leaf cut situation, which Jesse can understand. After all, if someone damaged her beautiful hair she'd burn them at the stake too. Pikachu and Mudkip arrive on the scene and when Team Rocket spot them they realises they can capture Pikachu and the handy little Nuzleaf as well.
Pikachu demands the Nuzleaf release its friends and the Nuzleaf counter with a demand that they.... don't! Pikachu growls and prepares to zap the ever-loving shit out of the savages, but Mudkip decides to put to good use its experience with convincing baby Mudkip not to tussle. As it proclaims its own name over and over again (much like Henry Kissinger signed the Paris Peace Accord by declaring, "KISSINGER KISSINGER! HENRY KISS KISS KISSINGER!") the Nuzleaf listen, but don't appear convinced..... and then the tables are turned as a net scoops them all up and a metallic gloved hand grabs Pikachu.
Mudkip, the other caged Pokemon, the netted Nuzleaf and Pikachu are shocked; they've been captured by Team Rocket who decide to explain their elaborate ploy.... until they come to a realisation.
"Oh sorry you don't speak human," laughs Jesse, "Then prepare for a trouble you don't understand!"
"Make it double, you're now part of our plan!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light,"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
True r-teeeests don't care if no one can understand them! It's how they win the Turner Prize!
Pikachu tries to shock the hand holding it but it has been shock proofed, and when Nuzleaf tries to cut the net holding it with Leaf-Blade, nothing happens. Meowth explains that they prepared themselves for this by using hardy materials, then notices the still free Mudkip and asks if they should get it at as well, but Jesse and James don't really see any reason to. As they float away in their balloon, Mudkip tries to blast through the cage holding its companions but fails to do anything more than soak it. Luckily for it, at that point the twerps arrive on the scene thanks to Taillow, and Ash has Taillow use Quick Attack as Brock orders Forretress to use Rapid Spin, which shatters the cage. The trapped Pokemon are free, and Torchic runs over to May as Silcoon hops towards her.....
IT CAN FUCKING MOVE BY ITSELF! That lazy bastard let itself be carried around for no reason!
Ash is confused though, where is Pikachu? The Pokemon point up at the departing Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, and Ash figures out the fastest way to get up there.... he has Corphish smash him with a Crabhammer!
He flies through the air and crashes into the side of the net holding the Nuzleaf.
"THE TWERP!" cries Jesse.
"But how did he fly!?!? gasps James.
"On a wing and a prayer or by da seat of his pants!?!" suggests Meowth.
Ash says he'll get the Nuzleaf out and tries to undo the knot, but Jesse laughs as she proclaims it is the strongest knot that has ever been invented and he'll never figure it out. But Ash is one of those types who long ago figured out the fastest way to untie the Gordian Knot, and he bites into the rope and tears it away with his teeth, dropping all the Nuzleaf to freedom below!
But Brock is worried, if the balloon goes any higher then Ash and Pikachu will...... what? He doesn't say, so we're going to assume that if the balloon goes any higher then Ash and Pikachu will get ice cream sundaes and dance the hoochie-koochie.
Jesse is furious; meanwhile, declaring their balloon is private property! James throws Cacnea out into the void with an order to use Pin Missile and it does, missing Ash and severely damaging the cable with the mechanic arm holding Pikachu, freeing it.
"That's not good, did I make a mistake?" asks James.
Meanwhile, we can assume Cacnea plummeted to its ice cream sundae far below?
But despite Pikachu being free, Ash realises they are too high to get down now. Far below on the ground, Brock notices the net that the Nuzleaf had been trapped in and asks them for help.
High above the ground, Team Rocket have realised that they're too high for the twerp (and Pikachu) to get away, but Brock calls for Ash to jump down into the net now held up by the Nuzleaf and the twerps. Despite being so high AND having his ears damaged by Loudred earlier, Ash hears Brock perfectly and leaps down, falling hundreds of metres and then landing safely in the net.
With everyone clear, Team Rocket aren't going to be allowed to get away unharmed (are they ever?) and Treecko once more uses Pound on Corphish, sending it flying high into the air where it fires Bubble Beam into Team Rocket's balloon and sends them blasting off again.
Corphish cheers happily, then realises it is still a long way up in the air as it begins to plummet down into gravity's cold embrace. But Treecko is waiting, and apparently its tail is springy enough that it absorbs the impact of Corphish's landing and leaves it safe.
The crabby Pokemon glares suspiciously at the smug Treecko, then seems to acknowledge the assist and high fives Treecko's tail with its pincer.
Ash thanks the Nuzleaf for their help, and as the sun sets and they prepare to say their goodbyes, Dextina gives us some information on the Pokemon.
"Nuzleaf, the wily Pokemon. Nuzleaf, can be found living, in thick woodland. The soft melodies they play, on their leaf pipes, are said to comfort, humans."
The twerps look at their Pokemon and the Nuzleaf and declare that they appear to be good friends, saying that the Nuzleaf aren't nearly as bad as you might think.
Too true, except of course for one little thing the twerps might not have realised.
THEY WERE GOING TO BURN YOUR POKEMON TO DEATH IN WRITHING AGONY!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Oh Meowth, you're my hero! At least you would be if you weren't short, fat and ugly!" |
|
