295: A Corphish Out of Water
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So today's episode guide is based on a mixture of screenshots and the bare-bones episode guides to be found on other sites around the Internet. Unfortunately most of these guides seem to be more about getting the guide out first and being NUMBER ONE POKEMON SITE, and a number of them are written based on Japanese episodes before any editing or subtitling can be done. As I discovered in a recent episode guide where the first five minutes of an episode wasn't taped, this can lead to misunderstandings and continuity errors, as apparently the person who "supported" Pokemon by downloading a pirated Japanese episode to get the first guide out and make their Pokemon site NUMBER ONE was too busy learning to say, "Where can I buy used schoolgirl panties?" in Japanese to learn what the Japanese word for "son" is. Thus, Ash and the other twerps set out in search of an elite trainer at the behest of President Stone of the Devon Corporation, only for me to discover an episode or so later that they were actually looking for President Stone's sainted son, Stephen.
So take this guide with a grain of salt and don't expect quotes, it's being done for the sake of completion and with luck one day I'll be able to go back over a proper (English) version of the episode. For now, I give you....
A Corphish Out of Water.
Today begins with the twerps still by the beach where they captured Corphish, Ash polishing his balls while his Pokemon watch.
Ewwwww!
May, Max and Brock are preparing breakfast, May commenting that Ash sure likes cleaning his balls, though Brock can understand the compulsion and tells May that polishing your balls makes your Pokemon happy. Max wonders why May is never polishing balls which leaves her understandably embarrassed. Before Brock can suggest she practise by polishing his balls though, Ash proclaims he's spent enough time polishing his balls now and asks his Pokemon if they want something to eat. Corphish certainly seems hungry, but instead of crowding around Brock like the other Pokemon (and the twerps) have learnt to do, it rushes over to some seaweed on the beach and begins chowing down.
The twerps stare in horror at this display, as Corphish eats away at the seaweed, then begins to chew on a piece of rope attached to the seaweed. Why would a rope be attached to seaweed? Maybe someone was using it for fishing, as Max suggests. Whatever the reason, Ash doesn't think it is a particularly good idea and rushes over to Corphish to tell it to stop eating. It notes the rope and tears it apart, snapping it back right into Ash's face and sending him flying through the air and crashing into a tree. Yep, Ash's capture of Corphish hasn't stopped it kicking his ass, even inadvertently.
With food up on the table (which Brock apparently keeps in his backpack) Ash decides to introduce all his other Pokemon to Corphish (to their credit they didn't seem to react to the strange Pokemon sitting in their group earlier with nary an introduction). Corphish seems particularly pleased to meet everyone, and shows this by smacking them all upside the head and hissing its own name in delight. May scoops up her Pokemon and yells at Ash to do something about this, but Ash - who has already taken a beating twice since catching Corphish - meekly suggests that it doesn't mean it, itıs just trying to say hello. May stares at the ecstatic Corphish (it finally had friends to beat up on!) and sighs.
Everyone settles down to eat, but as Ash and Max enjoy Brock's food, May isn't touching hers.
Maybe those "heavy" comments Jesse made about her have hit a bit too hard?
May explains that for some reason her usually voracious Wurmple isn't hungry (no Gentle Dodgers, she isn't talking about her vagina) which has put her off her food too. She kneels down by it and offers the bowl to Wurmple, but it shakes it head disinterestedly. Torchic pushes its own bowl towards Wurmple, as the Pokemon is usually only too happy to chow down on other Pokemon's food, but it still isn't interested.
Then from THE FUCK OUT OF NOWHERE Corphish appears and scoffs down the contents of both bowls, much to May's chagrin. Even Ash has the balls (polished?) to criticise the crabby Pokemon which just stares happily back at him (now it has real friends to steal from!) before out of nowhere a claw tears through the air and wraps around Pikachu. The startled twerps stare in shock up at - of course - the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon as Team Rocket appear and perform a slow-motion version of their motto.... while wearing Corphish pincers for no discernible reason!
"Prepare for trouble!"
"And make it double!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light,"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
Ash demands Team Rocket hand Pikachu back over, and they do then everyone goes home and has a cup of tea.
WAIT!
Got that one wrong, mistranslated the English word for "No" as the English word for "Okay, let's go home and have a cup of tea."
Meowth holds Pikachu above his head in a cage, and when Pikachu tries to blast free the cage absorbs all of the electricity. The balloon begins to lift up and float away as Ash tries to figure out a way to get Taillow to pop the balloon or for Corphish to use Bubble beam or to ask Brock to use Forretress to use Rapid Spin or May to use Torchic's Ember... but before he can put the words together, May has Wurmple use Stringshot, which catches a railing on the balloon and prevents it from lifting (apparently Wurmple weighs more than the balloon).
Furious at this, Jesse and James call for more gas from Meowth, but rather than eating beans the Scratch-Cat instead fires the hot-gas cylinder which starts lifting the balloon higher, so the twerps run and grab the Stringshot and begin hauling back, helped by Taillow as they engage in a tug of war with Team Rocket's balloon. Ash calls for Corphish to help and it does, grinning mischievously and snipping the string with a pincer that sends the twerps stumbling back and gives the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon too much lift, send it crashing down into the forest a little further off.
May roars at Corphish for its asshole-ish manner and Brock tries to calm her down, saying they'll find Pikachu. Max agrees, saying Team Rocket never succeed and even Ash doesn't seem overly concerned that his best friend has disappeared with his worst enemies. They rush off to find Team Rocket, who are lying amongst the wreckage of their balloon complaining about always failing, until they realise they still have Pikachu!
But then the twerps arrive and Ash calls on Corphish to use Bubble Beam to shatter Pikachu's cage, but the crabby Pokemon blasts the entire balloon and sends Pikachu and Team Rocket crashing through the air. James calls out Cacnea for assistance and it hugs him joyfully, its needles tearing into his skin while Jesse calls out Seviper, which snags Pikachu with its tail before Ash can catch the falling cage.
Surprisingly, it is May who again saves the day by having Wurmple fire Stringshot around Pikachu's cage, and her, Max and Brock drag on the string and tear Pikachu's cage free from Seviper's tail. As Ash catches Pikachu, May is pleased as punch and congratulates Wurmple for its help, though Wurmple still seems lethargic about life in general. Jesse can't help but notice this, and with a laugh declares her Wurmple to be far superior and cuter than May's dull one. She strokes Wurmple's Pokeball lovingly then calls it out and points happily to it as James and Meowth stand in the background looking on with dull incomprehension. May seems less than impressed with Jesse's Wurmple though, saying hers is a lot stronger, which drives Jesse insane with rage. The angry redhead proclaims that the cuteness of her Wurmple is better than the strength of May's.....
No really, they're not talking about their vaginas.
.....and then suddenly both Wurmple begin to glow! Max and Brock are shocked, it seems that both Pokemon are evolving... at exactly the same time! May's Pokemon had gone off its food, probably due to having built up the energy to evolve. Jesse's Wurmple apparently is evolving due to good timing, though who knows, maybe it was just jealous or Jesse has been sneaking it food from James and Meowth's share?
An ecstatic Jesse and May stare down at their Pokemon, and both finish evolving and become spherical Pokemon with no limbs, nose or mouth and only an eye. But whereas May's is white with a sad looking eye - a Silcoon - Jesse's is pink with an angry looking eye - a Cascoon!
Both girls scoop up their Pokemon, both of them pleased as punch that they are only one step away from getting the Beautifly they both want. The twerps crowd around May to congratulate her, while James and Meowth exchange a nervous look as they note the differences between May's Pokemon and Jesse's, then shrug before Meowth declares that it is time to capture Pikachu! James orders Cacnea to attack, but Corphish counters with Crabhammer and then Pikachu hits them with a Thunderbolt and sends Team Rocket blasting off again!
The twerps cheer to see their opponents electrocuted then sent hurtling through the air to crash and suffer multiple limb damage.... but then Corphish collapses to the ground hard.
Shocked, Brock drops down and feels its forehead, noting that Corphish is running a fever and he has to get to a Pokemon Centre immediately. Ash grabs at his belt for Corphish's Pokeball, then remembers with horror shining his balls earlier in the day and leaving them back at camp. He hauls Corphish up onto his back and tells them he'll carry it to the nearest Pokemon Centre rather than go the 30 second trek back to camp to get the Pokeball. He lets Treecko and Taillow stay with the others, then he and Pikachu rush off up the hill as Corphish begins to actively steam, meaning that if Ash doesn't hurry then.... they're going to have a really awesome crayfish dinner tonight!
But the idea of cooking and eating one of his Pokemon doesn't seem to appeal to Ash, and he rushes to a tiny stream running through some rocks and grabs a leaf full of water, which he gives to Corphish to drink. Pikachu notes some berries in a nearby tree, and since he never got a chance to eat earlier in the day he takes the chance to have a bite to eat, standing on Todd/Snap's disembodied hairdo as he does. Realising it isn't actually his old companions ridiculous hairstyle at all but a Shroomish, which releases Stun Spore as Ash scoops up Corphish and then he and Pikachu cheese it.
Back at camp, Brock has gone back to making a meal as May and Max set the table, May apparently the only one at all concerned about Ash setting out through the wilderness with a feverish Corphish and only a basic idea of where the nearest Pokemon centre is.
But God favours the old, sick and retarded and Ash has made it to the Pokemon Centre, except it is on the other side of a large river. No problem though, he'll just wade his way across... except when he tries to a large school of Carvanha leap out of the water and try to take a bite out of him.
He uses Dextina to get a description of the carnivorous looking Pokemon and realises if he goes into the water, he isn't likely to come back out. Looking around, he spots a rowboat behind a bush which is probably used for smuggling rum and decides to stea.... use it.
He begins rowing across the river with Pikachu and Corphish, the Carvanha leaping all about him, eager to get their teeth on those polished balls he left back at camp. Pikachu thundershocks them and they disappear again, but emerge moments later enraged, biting at the wood and tearing the boat apart.
Somewhere, Mr Briney misses another opportunity to growl, "We're going to need a bigger boat."
Ash reaches the shore again, still on the wrong side of the Pokemon Centre as he leaps out of the rowboat. The Carvanha realise the fleshy insides of the boat have gotten out, turn and splash back into the river. Ash is screwed, it seems, and that Crayfish dinner is looking more likely as Ash and Pikachu rush along the riverside until they spot a bridge! Salvation is short-lived though, when Ash realises that the bridge is broken in the middle and he'll have to wade through again. Popping Corphish onto a plank above his head, he begins wading through the water, sending Pikachu ahead onto the other side to keep lookout for Carvanha. It doesn't take long for the predators to approach, and Pikachu begins to shock them as Ash staggers through the water, The Carvanha leaping around Ash in favour of some freshly baked crayfish if they can get to it. Corphish opens it eyes and realises what is going on, realising that Ash is about to get his balls bitten off, and no Gentle Dodgers, I'm not talking about Pokeballs. Pikachu is knocked stumbling by a Carvanha leaving Ash completely exposed, and Corphish realises it has to act. Lifting a pincer, Corphish blasts the Carvanha with Bubble Beam and sends them scattering as Ash gets over to the other side and collapses. Corphish falls next to him and an exhausted Ash smiles at Corphish, which smiles back even as it is cooked alive by its own fever.
A short time later, Ash stands in a Pokemon Centre with Nurse Joy while Corphish lies in bed with a sheet pulled over it, Joy telling Ash he got there just in time and will be all right. Then she sighs over the fact that her fishing line wasn't quite as successful, and Ash looks over and realises the severed line is the one Corphish snapped earlier while eating seaweed, which causes a little embarrassment for him.
Later that night, Brock and Max sit around the campfire reading books while May amuses herself in other ways apparently. Whatever she is doing, she hears a noise and asks if they heard anything. Brock says it sounds like a Pokemon and they move to investigate, tracking the noise to.... a tape player! Suddenly cages spring up from the sand and Brock and Treecko in one, May and Max in another while Taillow manages to swoop free.
Team Rocket appear with a cackle, ecstatic to finally have captured Pikachu.... except Pikachu isn't there! James wonders what happened, then mentions that there was supposed to be a third cage, where is...
Yes Gentle Dodgers, Team Rocket caught themselves in their own cage. Treecko tackles against the side of the cage but can't get out, and despite Team Rocket encouraging it to keep trying, Max notices the tide coming in and realises this trap may have become a death-trap.
In the Pokemon Centre, Ash sleeps in a chair beside the bed Corphish is in, resting his head on the mattress and muttering for Corphish to get better. The crabby Pokemon slaps him on the back of the head, causing a chuckle from Ash who drifts back to sleep.
While he laughs, Team Rocket and the twerps are getting a little closer to a horrible death by drowning, until Brock remembers the tape recorder that got them into this mess and calls down Taillow.
As the sun rises, Ash and Pikachu are congratulating Corphish on a fully recovery from its fever when Taillow suddenly flies in with the recorder around its neck. Ash plays the tape and hears Brock's voice, telling them about their problems and calling for help. Ash thanks Nurse Joy, then charges off to try and get back (hopefully without encountering anymore Carvanha) before his friends die.
The water has reached near the top of the cages now, with everyone clutching onto the top bars as the water continues to rise (apparently the tides take 12 hours to come in fully, go out in roughly an hour, stay out for 11 hours then take 12 hours to come back in).
May and Max spot Corphish, speeding through the water towards them, Ash close behind in a speedboat piloted by Nurse Joy who obviously convinced him of the benefits of a speedboat over running. At Ash's command, Corphish smashes the cages open using Crabhammer and frees everyone, saving them all.
A short while later, Nurse Joy steers them into the dock where Team Rocket humbly drop to their knees and bow in gratitude.... then leap up holding nets and declare this won't stop them catching Pikachu. Unfortunately for them, Pikachu and Corphish are ready for them and a combined Bubble Beam and Thunderbolt sends Team Rocket blasting off again.
Everyone cheers in delight once more at the electrocution of their opponents, as well as their hurtling through the air to crash and suffer multiple limb damage! Brock takes the opportunity to declare his undying love for Nurse Joy, while May and Max congratulate Corphish and May apologises for yelling at it earlier. Corphish grins happily and leaps high to smack them both around the head, which they're only they're just starting to realise is Corphish's way of showing affection. Yes, the two kids are learning something many people never learn.
It isn't personal, Corphish is just a jerk!
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