293: A Hole Lotta Trouble
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Well, not quite an asshole though it has all the hallmarks of one, this is Granite Cave, where they were told they could find the son of President Stone of the Devon Corporation. May exclaims over the size of the opening (ask anyone on a street corner in Philly, sweetie, you ain't seen nothing yet) and they comment that Stephen (Mr Stone's son) is somewhere inside. Ash is eager to meet Stephen since he is supposed to be a great Trainer, and a concerned May asks Max to use the PokeNav to see if there are any creepy things inside. Max explains the PokeNav doesn't exactly work that way, and like b-list celebrities in a 1970's movie about shrinking to go into a patient, they head inside the asshole in the side of the mountain that is Granite Cave.
Does anyone else get the feeling that the twerps are in for....
A Hole Lotta Trouble.
Inside the cave, standing underneath a hole in the roof that lets the sun through we find Team Rocket digging another hole in the floor of the cave. James complains about all the digging but Jesse giggles that the twerps will never expect a hole in a cave, though Meowth points out that a cave IS a big hole. James sighs and asks if they can't just directly battle for once and Jesse snaps back that she gives orders, he takes them.
James is the receiver then? That answers a long standing question!
Elsewhere the twerps wander about in the cave with no idea where they're going, Ash calling out for Stephen while Brock rushes ahead to a fork and marks with a glow in the dark arrow the way they went. Deeper in the cave, Stephen - a tall, handsome trainer with white hair just like Mr Stone - is chipping away at the tunnel wall along with his Pokemon, an Aron. He asks Aron (a puppy robot ^__^) if it has found anything, and when it shakes its head he feeds it a little snack.
Team Rocket stare at the latest hole after finishing covering it up when they hear the twerps calling for Stephen. James mutters about wanting a battle while Meowth asks who Stephen is, but is told by Jesse it doesn't matter before they hide. The twerps enter the cave with hole in the roof and May takes the lead, saying that the cave is surprisingly beautiful.... and then they all fall down the hole dug by Team Rocket!
Jesse, James and Meowth rush to the edge of the hole and dance about, taunting the twerps for falling for the plot... until the ground cracks and the twerps fall through the floor, then Team Rocket soon follow, the ground beneath their feet shattering as well.
Elsewhere Stephen and Aron look around, confused by the noise.
What of the twerps and Team Rocket? Well in a surprisingly grisly and surreal turn of events, their disembodied heads fall into an ant farm and separate down different forks of the network of tunnels inside of Granite Cave. Luckily this was actually just a graphical representation of unfolding events, rather than David Lynch guest-directing the episode, and the twerps and Team Rocket both are fine.... but where are they?
A pile of dirt beneath a hole in the roof of one of the tunnels is where at least some of them are, as Max pulls his head from the dirt and looks around for an adult, or at least a mature teenager.... or if worst comes to worst, Ash. From another part of the dirt pile, Pikachu pops its head out and moments later up pops Meowth.... MEOWTH! Yes Max and Pikachu have become separated from the rest of the twerps and ended up with Meowth, a brand new twerp trio! They all look up at the hole in the ceiling and Max figures out that Team Rocket's digging must have weakened the floor up on the top level of Granite Cave and allowed them to fall through into the network of tunnels riddling the mountain. Meowth suggests that if they fell down the hole, they can work their way back up to it and Pikachu leads them through another hole, until Meowth shouts that Pikachu and Max aren't going to get away that easily.... and Max points out that it was Meowth's idea to get back to where they started from in the first place. Max and Pikachu head off again and a startled Meowth - not used to people listening to him - chases after them.
In another pile of dirt elsewhere in the cave, May pulls herself out of the dirt with a sputter and looks around. Jesse's ass lands on her head....
Well there you go, halfway to a standard hentai right there.
....and complains for never getting a soft landing, then snaps at May she shouldn't be so heavy.
"I'm.... not heavy?" mutters May in that soft disbelieving voice all thin young girls have when their weight is brought up.
Jesse looks up at the hole they fell through and congratulates herself on her own ingenuity; she created the hole and fell through it, now she can climb back up to the top again using the hole. Ignoring May, she leaps up halfway through the hole and then begins trying to work her hips through, which lack the squashing capabilities of her boobs.
Meanwhile Ash and James appear to have found themselves trapped together elsewhere, and close-ups of their face showcase their fury as they argue back and forth. Ash snaps that James is always following him and the others around trying to trick them, while James argues back that he would like to fight him fair and square but Jesse and Meowth always insist on cheating. In that case, Ash demands a fair battle right then and there and James is happy to accept, and they stare at each other with fire in their eyes before Brock suggests that they might first try to work a way out of the big pile of dirt they're currently half trapped in.
Oh.
The three of them (seen only from the waist up) start to tug and pull in an image that makes it look like they're.... doing something naughty. But we leave their grunting and tugging to find Max leading Pikachu and Meowth on, hoping to find Stephen. When Meowth asks who Stephen is, Max does what Jesse wouldn't do and answers him, telling him that Stephen is the son of Mr Stone, President of the Devon Corporation. He is currently in Granite Cave somewhere looking for rare rocks, and Meowth wonders if they're treasure or if Stephen is a bit stupid despite being the son of a Corporate President, ending up in a dark cave looking for rocks. Pikachu pulls up, sniffing the air and when Max asks what is going on, Meowth has a sniff as well and declares there is a breeze. Max can't smell or feel anything, and Meowth mocks him for his puny, pitiful human senses before they head off in the direction of the breeze.
Elsewhere, Ash, Brock and James appear to have gotten themselves out (or off, depending on that previous image) and are looking for the others. Ash and Brock call out for May and Max while James mutters almost to himself for Jesse and Meowth. When Ash points out they'll never hear him calling that way, he responds that he doesn't care; they're a bad influence on him anyway!
A surprised Brock asks why he doesn't stay away from them if they're a bad influence and James replies that they're too stubborn, then suddenly bears himself up to his full height and declares bravely that he SHOULD stand up for himself. As Ash and Brock sweat drop at his sudden rage, he declares that he's getting angry just thinking about it and he rushes past them and shouts, "Jesse's an idiot! Meowth's a loser! I don't need them!"
Oooh, what a bitch!
A rock drops down to the ground in front of James and Ash worries the floor is about to cave in again, but then Brock notices that it is an Aron. Have they found Stephen after all? Using Dextina, Ash discovers, "Aron, the Iron Armour Pokemon. Aron has an impressive defence power, and eats iron ore in order to build up the metal in its body."
"Hey! Whaddya want?" demands James, knuckling Aron's forehead as it stares angrily up at him, "And quit staring at me like that, you're not scaring anyone with that head armour!"
Aron barks at him like a little Robot Puppy (^__^) and then more and more Aron drop out of alcoves in the roof to glare at James, Brock and Ash. Brock asks if that is scary enough for him now and then they turn around and cheese it.
Up on the top level of Granite Cave, Stephen finds the original hole and Team Rocket's net, and Aron barks angrily before Stephen LEAPS down with Aron not far behind.
Woah, he isn't a Professor so he must have dropped out of Professor Birch's alma mater, ACTION UNIVERSITY!
"I don't deserve this!" squeals James as he runs from the Aron pack.
"YES YOU DO!" yell Ash and Brock, running behind him.
"Wešll discuss it later!" cries James.
He spots a tunnel jutting out of the wall over another and leaps into it, only to be pulled back by Brock and Ash who run over him. Squealing in fright (and in a lovely bit of animation), James spots the Aron Pack, does a take and then scrambles into the tunnel as the Aron Pack run in the other tunnel beneath it.
Max, Pikachu and Meowth have followed the breeze to an impressive underground waterfall, and Max stares up in wonder at it while Meowth points to a vine running over the side of one of the waterfall, saying that this is where the breeze smell is coming from.
Meanwhile Jesse hasn't made much progress in her attempts to get through the hole, still stuck halfway in and out with only her ass and legs sticking out, struggling to get through.
"And you were calling ME the heavy one," grunts May, burying her head in her hand.
"I heard that!" snaps Jesse, "Don't just sit there, push me!
May snaps to her feet and grabs Jesse around the legs and then begins firmly pulling down, Jesse pin wheeling her arms wildly and shouting that she told her to push, not pull! May responds by releasing Jesse, and then presses her hands against Jesse's ass...
HEY HEY!
...and begins pushing, and Jesse tells her to put more oomph into it.
HEY HEY HEY!
May sighs and presses one hand against Jesse's butt, then turns and just stands there with her hand on it (oh like you wouldn't), causing Jesse to growl at her to try a little harder. May presses her back against Jesse's ass and begins pushing with all her might. From THE FUCK OUT OF NOWHERE the roof above Jesse cracks and a screaming Loudred (a massive purple Pokemon with giant speaker like ears and thick arms and legs) drops to the ground, screams its own name in a panic and then stomps forward with its stumpy legs, runs over Jesse's head and keeps going, giving us an unnecessary shot of what can only be its asshole.
Well, that was..... odd.
A dazed Jesse stares after Loudred, then the hole she is trapped in crashes open and she hits the dirt pile next to May, lying on her back moaning....
HEY HEY!
....as May asks her if she is alright, and then looks up at the now enlarged hole, though with a more favourable reaction than her Father probably did after Max was born.
(Big headed freak).
Lower down, Stephen and Aron move through the tunnels and discover that the Aron pack have been awoken, Stephen muttering that he has to get to higher ground somehow.
Max, Meowth and Pikachu climbing the vine beside the waterfall, Max complaining that they're only halfway there. Meowth snaps that he is tired of these bloody kids these days and their POPULAR music and Jesse and James are just the same and at the end of the day everyone asks Meowth for help and.... and Max asks him how come he can talk if he is a Pokemon?
Well Meowth is ecstatic, a chance to tell his story! He begins the long and heartbreaking tale of his unrequited love for Meowsy and his efforts to impress her by learning to speak human... and as he talks Max and Pikachu exchange a glace and renew climbing. Meowth - who had been enjoying finally being listened to - spots them and snaps that when you ask a person a question you should stick around for the answer. Max replies with one of the harshest, cruellest and most unthinking statements ever heard on Pokemon.
"You're not a person, you're a Pokemon."
You little shit!
Elsewhere, Ash stomps along complaining about how terrible this is as James and Brock follow, but they're cheered up when they suddenly spot Brock's marker from earlier! James is impressed and asks if Brock actually did do this, and Ash declares they should go back to where they first split up. They all rush forward, Ash and Brock running leaning forward with arms pumping, James at full height with arms thrown back girlishly, leading with his crotch.
Well yes... of course.
They run, run with unrestrained glee, run.... right into the bloody hole and fall through it again!
Stephen and Aron rush up at the sound of the noise and Stephen notices the hole has gotten even bigger than before. Not far off, Max, Pikachu and Meowth have come to the source of the breeze, a large valley with no roof but walls too high to climb. But Pikachu picks up a new scent, Stephen!
Also close by, May has taken the lead with Jesse following behind, but when they spot light in the distance Jesse charges ahead declaring that she is far too important to rot in some cave and.... she and May fall through the same bloody hole again!
Jesus Christ.
Lower down, Ash and Brock are behind a hard-out running James as they are chased by the Aron Pack, Ash screaming that they have to get to a higher level. Jesse and May land on top of them and they all point at each other in surprise, then the Aron leap towards them.
Max, Pikachu and Meowth run along as well, but before they can fall down a big bloody hole like their idiot friends, they spot Stephen and Aron. Stephen asks if they're lost and Max asks if he is Stephen, then tells him that his sister and friends are still lost while Meowth asks about Jesse and James. Stephen explains that they must have upset the Aron and leads them the way he believes they are, and they come to a chasm, Meowth shouting that they can't make it across. Stephen tells them to listen and on the level beneath them (and visible thanks to the chasm) they hear the others approaching on the next level down. They shout out to them and they stop, then Stephen gives them instructions to the waterfall before telling Max that he knew they would be coming this way because he suspected the Aron would be, and the twerps would be running from them. Stephen then has Max, Pikachu, Meowth and Aron climb up onto his back and shows he learned something at that ACTION UNIVERSITY by leaping across the chasm.
The twerps and Jesse and James get to the waterfall and May wonders how it got there, but Jesse says they have more important things to worry about... like the Aron pack! Stephen appears above the waterfall and yells at the pack to be calm but they don't listen, so he has his Aron use Roar and they all seem to stop, then listen with wide eyes as Stephen tells them these are good people and to go back to sleep. They do so and Brock exclaims with shock that Stephen can control wild Pokemon! Ash is VERY impressed.
But the important thing is the reunion, and Jesse and James rush up to Meowth and hug him happily.
"Meowth! You're okay!" cries James, "I'm so happy!"
They all hug and rivers of tears explode from their eyes.
"James, I thought you didn't like them?" asks Ash.
"You too Jesse?" asks May.
"And you, Meowth?" adds James.
"Hey! Let's recite the motto to celebrate!" gasps Jesse happily, ignoring the twerps completely as do an ecstatic James and Meowth.
"Who are these people?" asks Stephen.
"AHEM!" starts Jesse, "Prepare for trouble when you're lost in a cave!"
"Make it double if it's us you save!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light,"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Dat's right!"
"WOBBUFFET!"
"Huh?" asks Stephen, and the twerps explain they're Team Rocket and the ones to blame for the holes.
Jesse sends out Seviper and James calls out Cacnea, which hugs him stingingly. Ash sends in Pikachu to use Quick Attack and Brock and May grab their Pokemon... and then Stephen roars at them all to stop. He shouts angrily at Team Rocket that the Pokemon in this cave lived peacefully until they showed up and caused problems, and HE'LL face them. Jesse whispers to James that Stephen seems angry, and then the son of President Stone calls out Aggron, a massive armour plated dinosaur looking Pokemon that roars in fury.
"Aggron, the Iron Armour Pokemon," explains Dextina, "Aggron is the final evolution of Aron; it shows no mercy to anyone that disturbs its habitat."
Team Rocket stare in shock at the massive thing armour-plated killing machine, and then Stephen calls for Hyperbeam. Aggron's pupils dilate with rage and it blasts Team Rocket with Hyper-Beam, sending them blasting right through the side of the mountain the cave is in and blasting off again.
Ash stares in wonder at Stephen, while Aron barks and digs at a dirt pile and exposes a Fire Stone, which apparently is what Stephen was looking for. He, Brock and Max explain how Fire Stones work to May before Ash thanks Stephen for the help and tells him that he should thank HIM for helping him find the fire stone. He asks how his father is and Max says he is great, being tactful and not bringing up all that thigh tapping under the table.
Stephen takes them out of Granite Cave and onto a sailboat, sailing them to an inlet where lots of great training can take place, then sets off immediately (May seeming a little dismayed to see the tall, handsome, RICH stranger heading away so soon) to make use of the Fire Stone he just found. The twerps are now deserted on a mostly uninhabited area of Dewford Island where all they can do is train, and it'll be awhile before they see civilisation again. But this is exactly what Ash wanted, because in a welcome change to his dithering, distracted Johto ways, Ash is now looking to get in some serious training and win his next Gym Badge.
Amen!
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 "Jesse's an idiot! Meowth's a loser! I don't need them!" |
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