288: Stairway To Devon
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Brock and May are also excited, but over completely different things. Rustboro is a massive city, the kind of place with something for everyone (heroin?), and May is excitedly talking about taking the chance to go shopping. Ash weakly suggests that he kind of wanted to go to Dewford Island NOW but Brock calmly explains that the ferry is a good two hours from leaving anyway so why not go their separate ways and do some individual shopping then meet back at the Pokemon Centre later? Max thinks it is a good idea, but as he walks towards the others, he spills soda over May's PokeNav and shorts it out. He squawks in alarm, and then hides it when the others ask what is wrong. He assures them nothing is wrong, especially not with the PokeNav, then runs away from the confused twerps, perhaps to take the....
Stairway To Devon
Max glumly walks through the street trying to get the PokeNav working while on one of the tall buildings a giant television screen features a woman discussing the virtues and joys of a place called The Devon Corporation. Further down the street, Max notices a group of kids all surrounding a man in a white hat and purple pin-striped suit. Pushing his way through the crowd, he finds the kids spellbound as the old man shows off his latest inventions. He pulls out what looks like an action figure of a muscle-man which he insists is actually a can opener. Placing a soda in the muscle-man's arms, the little man beings squeezing and grunts before he rips the tab of the can and sprays soda in the old man's face. The kids chuckle and begin dispersing while the old man sighs over his invention, then notices Max in turn sighing over his PokeNav.
He asks Max what is wrong, and Max tells him that he doesn't want to tell his sister that he broke her PokeNav. The old man suggests he go to the Devon Corporation, and they'll help him out. Max asks if they can protect him from May and with a smile the old man tells him that they can fix his PokeNav, they make basically everything in the world....
Even clouds?
....in fact they even produce Pokemon there!
Max asks how that is possible and the man tells him he wouldn't lie, he's an inventor! But then a car pulls up down the street and a tall man in a suit pops out one door and begins looking around, then points directly at the old man. Startled, the old man tells Max not to forget the Devon Corporation, which can be found in the biggest building in town, then he runs away. The tall man in a black suit chases after him, then hauls up and mutters to himself about the old man's surprising speed. He pulls out a walkie-talkie and tells whoever is on the other end that the old man is coming his way, introducing himself as Kennedy.
Meanwhile at the Pokemon Centre Ash is showing off to Daddy, showing him his Stone Badge from defeating Roxanne. Oak is suitably impressed by this as well as the news that Pikachu learned Iron Tail and he tells Ash to keep up the good work. Ash is left beaming by his secret Father's compliments as he rings off.
He doesn't ring his Mother.
Brock shows up carrying a few packages and tells Ash that he is done with his shopping now. Ash asks about May and Max and Brock points to May who is lying on her back on a bench, panting roughly and quivering.
Jesus Brock, what'd she have to do to get a hold of your credit cards!?!?!
But no, it turns out that May literally "shopped till she dropped" and is now in a kind of post-orgasmic state of shock. She recovers quickly though when she hears that Max isn't back yet (yes Gentle Dodgers, they let little pre-teen Max out into a massive city all by himself) and declares that this means she can go do some more shopping!
Brock asks where she is going and she says she only has one swimsuit so far, and since they're going to an Island Resort (she apparently heard Dewford was an island and surmised that meant resort) she wants to hang out on the beaches in a variety of skimpy swimsuits. She rushes away while Brock and Ash stare after her with purple confusion lines wriggling away from their stunned faces as they giggle uncomfortably - Ash because he doesn't know what is going on and Brock because he DOES know what is going on.
Max meanwhile has actually found his way to the massive, modern looking skyscraper that houses the Devon Corporation and looks very impressed with it.... and so is Team Rocket!
Yes watching from across the street are Team Rocket, Meowth saying that a building like the Devon Corporation is sure to have plenty of "booty" in it, James adding there'll be security guards too.
Maybe security guard booty, James?
Still, Jesse declares they're going to go in and find whatever they can steal, leading Meowth to declare that they'll, "Give all that booty to da boss!"
Team Rocket know they'll get a promotion for sure if they pull this off, Jesse asking if she'll still be able to boss them both about. When they happily agree, she's all for it!
Inside Devon Corp, Max asks the receptionist if he can in fact have May's PokeNav repaired and she tells him they don't do repairs on site. He sighs, saying the old man did lie despite being an inventor, then walks away to a nearby pillar. He notices officer Jenny approaching reception and for some reason this seems to make him determined to sneak inside the highly guarded corporation. The old man from earlier shows up with another security guard and approaches Officer Jenny, asking her if anything is the matter. She tells him that she has heard reports that someone is planning on trying to infiltrate Devon, though she doesn't yet know if there is anything in particular that they are after. She tells them all of her men are on this one...
Burglaries, rapes, murders, assault, drunk and disorderly? None of these things are as important as the unconfirmed report that someone somewhere might be thinking about perhaps trying to attempt to get into a large corporation headquarters.... oh Officer Jenny, you corrupt whore.
As Officer Jenny discusses the possible infiltrator (and maybe upping her weekly kickback) with the security man, the old man in the purple suit notices Max hiding behind the pillar and slips away. Max hides behind the pillar watching Officer Jenny when suddenly the old man slides up behind him, turns him around and slaps his hand over Max's mouth and shushes him with a sly grin before telling him to come with him.
STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!
They head down the halls together and he grabs Max's PokeNav from him, Max shouting it belong to May, all angry until the old man notices it has had soda spilled on it and Max becomes sheepish instead. The old man leads Max into a laboratory where he is greeted by several people in white coats (they must work there, they have white coats). He tells them that "Kennedy" is following him again and they all grin and tell him he is welcome to come hide with them whenever he wants. He hands May's PokeNav to one of the men in white coats and asks him to fix it, and it is at this point that Max finally discovers that the nice old man with a predilection for small boys is The President of The Devon Corporation! He explains to Max that whenever he is in a creative rut he has to head out into the city and find some small boys, and that always gets his juices flowing again.
"Kids are a great source of inspiration when I'm looking to create something new!" he proclaims.
Make of that, what you will.
Grinning, The President (heretofore known as President Devon just because) says he can tell Max is scared of May, and asks her if she is THAT bad. Max explains it isn't so much that he is scared of May, more than he wants to prove to her he's not a little kid, he wants her to see him as a real man.
Oh Lord, Max has issues.
President Devon grins and says he knows just how Max feels (apparently he wanted to bang his sister too) and to cheer him up shows him into another lab where they develop and test new products. The first machine they see is apparently a Pokemon Dream Projector... that doesn't work. The next machine is a Pokemon Translator... that doesn't work. Next is a machine to turns you into a Pokemon... that doesn't work. Max asks if anything works and is shown a Pokemon Producing Machine that appears to be book ended by scale models of the now extinct World Trade Towers.
Well okay.
Apparently all you have to do is get hold of a Pokemon Fossil which then has the Pokemon DNA extracted from it, then by using special fluid in several "Creation Capsules" they can recreate and regenerate extinct Pokemon!
It doesn't work.
Well after that exhausting tour of President Devon's failures, Max explains that his dream is to be a Gym Leader just like his Dad, then asks if he can bring his friends and sister over to see all this awesome non-working stuff too. Kennedy shows up and tells President Devon that he has to get back to his office, he has several appointments he must meet. President Devon introduces Kennedy to Max then tells him to call the Pokemon Centre and have Max's friends and sister brought over to Devon Corp.
As inside Kennedy is turned into a bitch by his boss, Team Rocket are outside looking over the security outside the building. Jesse points out security is tight.
"Tight AND mean looking!" adds James.
Well yes James.
But Jesse has lab coats! Lab coats! The perfect disguise! They begin to put them on and Meowth pops up wearing a coat and sunglasses and declares it perfect, before they pull it off him and tell him he won't need a disguise.
Back inside Devon Corp, someone in a lab coat steals two of the Creation Capsules from the Pokemon Producing Machine (not working) and President Devon notices as his mullet slides out of the door. Immediately suspicious of anyone with a mullet (as well as not recognising his face, when he prides himself on knowing all of his employees) President Devon and Max begin following Mr Mullet.
Down in the lobby Kennedy walks the twerps past Officer Jenny, obviously pretending to be amused and impressed by the things they're saying as he takes them to find President Devon and Max. Following shortly after arrive Jesse and James holding hands with Meowth (awwww) and disguised in lab coats.
"Hi we work here, that's why we have white coats," explains Jesse with a smile, wearing sunglasses as well.
Officer Jenny stops them as they pass, James complaining that they have important experiments to do on this Meowth. Jenny asks them to show their ID cards and they apparently explode.
As President Devon and Max watch the mullet-man disappear through a door, Kennedy is still pretending to like the twerps and tells them that he thinks Max may remind President Devon of his son Steven who is a Pokemon Trainer. He takes them to the lab from earlier and they discover the Creation Capsules have been stolen.
In the stairwells, Mullet man is heading towards the roof as President Devon and max follow but when Max trips on the stairs Mulletman hears and immediately begins running, which is all the proof the President needs to know Saddam has weapons of mass destruction.
Whoops, wrong President!
Back inside the lab Kennedy receives a call from President Devon who informs them that he and Max are chasing the thief now. Kennedy tells them two of the creation capsules have disappeared and then tells the twerps what is going on. Ash decides to get involved in something that is none of his business and tells May they'll get up to the roof to help. Luckily Kennedy knows a short cut and....
A short-cut? To the roof? There's only one way to the roof, and that's up!
Back in the lobby James and Jesse have apparently recovered from blowing up and are trying to convince Officer Jenny why they don't have ID cards, blaming it on Meowth (maybe their "experiments" are for revenge?) and angrily proclaiming that they haven't done anything wrong.... yet. Jenny asks what they mean by "yet" when an announcement comes over the PA System, explaining that two Creation Capsules have been stolen by a thief wearing sunglasses and a white coat. As this is announced, Team Rocket calmly pull their sunglasses and white coats off (making their pants and jerseys disappear to be replaced by their uniforms) then begin to walk away, then run when Officer Jenny gives chase.
Up on the roof Mullet Man is well ahead of President Devon and Max and bursts out onto the roof where he finds.... the twerps waiting!
Turns out that Kennedy DID know a shortcut, perhaps they went REALLY far down REALLY fast?
President Devon demands that Mulletman hand the capsules back but he replies by sending out a big crab looking Pokemon called Crawdaunt. Ash reacts quickly though, having Pikachu use Quick Attack to stagger Crawdaunt backwards before it recovers and smashes Pikachu with Crab Hammer, sending Pikachu down hard.
Then Team Rocket burst onto the rooftop!
"Oh prepare for trouble!" says Jesse when Ash asks what they're doing there.
"And why not make it a Devon double?" asks James.
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team... Rocket blast off... at the speed... of light," grunts Jesse as she lifts one end of a giant stone R.
"Surrender now... to our strength... or prepare to fight," gasps James as he lifts the other end.
"Meowth Dat's Right!" cries Wobbuffet, landing on the R and adding to the weight.
"Wobbuffet!" shouts Wobbuffet, knocking them all flying.
Officer Jenny FINALLY shows up as Team Rocket ask if their timing was off, then Mulletman has Crawdaunt use Bubble Beam to knock EVERYONE over before he pulls lose a rocket glider and takes off into the sky. Team Rocket have no idea who he is, but he stole something which means it must be valuable, so they're going to steal whatever he stole!
They leap through the air and grab Mulletman as he soars off the roof, much to his surprise.
"Okay whered'ya hide da booty?" asks Meowth.
Look in his pants, Meowth!
Reaching into Mulletman's white coat, Meowth finds the Creation Capsules.
"Look what I found.... what'd I find?" asks a confused Scratch-Cat.
The now out of control glider twists and heads back straight towards the roof, causing a panicked Meowth to drop the capsule (Max catching them) before Pikachu blasts the ever-loving fuck out of Team Rocket and Mulletman and sends Team Rocket blasting off again.
Why!?! Team Rocket technically helped.... plus now Officer Jenny can't arrest them! Goddammit Ash.
Mullet Man still clutches to the one-handed rocket glider which now twists and mis-fires badly before falling out of sight. Max turns to reveal he has saved the Capsules from being destroyed, while Officer Jenny surmises that Mulletman probably worked for Team Aqua since he used a Crawdaunt....
Well done Sherlock Holmes, what if he'd used an Eevee?
....and she'll send all of her men out to find him. Police do head out and later that night find the crashed glider and a discarded lab coat, it would appear that without any other distinctive features (LIKE A GIANT SHINY FUCKOFF MULLET)that Mulletman is going to get away.
But the problem is over for Devon Corporation, and President Devon eats dinner with the twerps, thanking them for all their help. Ash insists that Max should be the one he is thanking, which makes the little twerp feel pretty damn good about himself. President Devon mentions his son Steven and tells them to look out for him when they go to Dewford Island. Unfortunately that reminds May that there IS a Dewford Island and she asks Max for her PokeNav so she can look up some info on the island (probably what kind of resorts they have available, and any public indecency laws she might need to know about). Max gulps as he remembers the damaged PokeNav that set this all off, but then President Devon gives him something else to worry about by beginning to tap his thigh under the table, something watched with horror by Pikachu. But apparently it was only the PokeNav that was pressing firmly against Max's thigh (this time) and he hands it over to May once he establishes it is working again, cheerily telling her that there it was, not broken or anything! It looks like President Devon saved Max's ass.
But saved it for what Max, for what!?!?!
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