287: Gonna Rule The School!
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Gonna Rule The School!
Brock, May and Max storm through the tower as Ash chases after, complaining that he was just joking while Brock mutters that he has never been so embarrassed in his life (including the time he found out his missing father had been living just over the hill selling crack to passing children). As they walk, Max notices a Poliwag hiding beneath a bench and apparently terrified. He coaxes the quivering thing out and picks it up, noticing a ribbon around its tail with a distinctive Pokeball-like symbol on it. A short (but adult) girl steps up by them wearing red tights and a strange business suit/skirt combo and takes Poliwag from Max with thanks, saying it belongs to her. Some small children about Max's age arrive on the scene, calling the lady Roxanne and apparently happy to see Poliwag has been found. A little girl tells a nervous looking boy that he can stop worrying now they have found Poliwag, but a snotty red-headed boy in an atrocious tracksuit stomps up and blames the nervous boy for having lost Poliwag in the first place.
Roxanne tells them all to calm them and tells them it is time to head back to the Pokemon Trainees School. Ash asks what that is and she explains it is a school for Pokemon Trainees.
Not the sharpest card in the pack is our Ash.
Apparently the small children are Roxanne's beginneršs class and are at the tower on a field trip. Max's interest is piqued and he asks May if they can go see the school, which she doesn't seem to be overly keen on doing. Ash then points out that they're supposed to be heading to Rustboro Gym to FINALLY have his Gym Battle, and May has to go so she can have her FIRST Gym Battle, a reminder that only seems to make May even more nervous.
Roxanne explains the Gym is right next door to the school and asks them to come along and sneak a quick peek at the School on the way. Brock cheekily asks if SHE'LL give them the tour and Ash is basically over-ridden and hauled to the School whether he wants to go or not. Once there, to Brock's disappointment they're not given the tour by Roxanne's breasts, but the rather WASP-ish Principal who also happens to be a natty dresser and EVER so inbreed - can't mix ones blood with lower classes, can one!
The first school they're shown is one for prospective Pokemon Doctors, which interests Brock greatly while Ash moans that he wants to get to his Gym Battle and Max asks desperately if he can go to the Beginners Class. Next they're shown into a hall where the class specialises in training Pokemon for Contests, and May is ecstatic, even more so when she sees a Ribboned Sneasel pop out of a Pokeball. Ash moans that he STILL wants to get to his Gym Battle and Max is even more desperate for a Beginners Class. The next class they enter has two trainers ordering around a Typhlosion and a Feraligator, this being the Battle Class. Suddenly Ash forgets about his Gym Battle while Max begs the Principal to show him to the Beginners Class.
Meanwhile Team Rocket are in the tower checking out the view and sight-seers, and already coming up with plans to set up a souvenir stand and make a ton of money from the tourists.
As they plot, Max is finally taken into the Beginners Class where the first thing he sees is the 20 foot tall face of Professor Oak bellowing flame and roaring his defiance to the world. Well, not quite. It's actually a large screen television and Professor Oak is teaching the class by video link, and the twerps walk in on the closing lines of his lecture. What has the world's foremost expert on Pokemon been teaching these children?
Well in a nutshell, there be a whole fuckload of them thar Pokemon critters out there.
Ash says hello to Professor Oak (one wonders if he knows he's looking at a TV screen or just takes it as a given that Professor Oak's disembodied head is now 20 feet tall) who greets him back, as well as Brock and May before he notices Max and introduces himself. Max is basically speechless, staring almost in horror at his idol before May forces his head down in a bow. Professor Oak asks Ash how his Gym Battle went, then lets the cat out of the bag by asking who won, him or Roxanne.
Roxanne explains they haven't battled yet and Ash clicks (surprisingly quickly) that Roxanne is the Rustboro City Gym Leader. The Principal explains that Roxanne was the schools best student and she was quickly made into the Gym Leader, then Roxanne tells Ash that she won't be free from her teaching duties until tomorrow night, so they'll have to put their Gym Battle until the day after that. Ash - who has been eager to battle for a loooong time now - seems to take this all in stride and agrees, and then Professor Oak wishes his illegitimate, secret son good luck and prepares to leave until Max stops him. Oak pauses and Max gabbers that he has read all of Professor Oak's books and always watches him on TV and listens to the radio and reads his papers and, well to put it bluntly, he is a big fan. The little Guido in the tracksuit from earlier glares angrily at Max as Professor Oak signs off, then demands to know from Max what types of attacks are most effective against flying types. Max - who seems to miss the subtext of tracksuit boy's angry question - easily replies that electrical attacks like Thunder work best. The snotty kid seems taken aback and demands to know what will work on Pokemon that use Dig, and Max easily answers that Earthquake and Magnitude make the most sense. Snotty is irritated and claims these quick answers are no big deal, then Roxanne tells him (Tommy) to calm down, warning that the kids are not here to compete against each other but learn more by working together. Seemingly impressed by the random kid of the streets ability to outsmart his brightest students, the Principal offers Max the chance to come back for a full class tomorrow and he eagerly agrees, telling May to come along to learn more before her Gym Battle the day after. May grins nervously, muttering to herself that she still has to figure a way to get out of fighting in the inevitable Gym Battle.
Next the twerps are shown the Pokemon Storage room where hundreds of Pokeballs are stored, something that greatly impresses Max. All the school's Pokemon are kept their in the vault, and Max asks why Pokemon at the school will follow the orders of anyone from the school rather than the usual single Trainer. The Principal explains that the Pokemon have been trained to follow the commands of whoever uses them, an idea which excites Max when he realises that HE could command a Pokemon, and when he asks Roxanne if this is the case she tells him she'll let him know in class tomorrow.
Listening outside are Team Rocket (who apparently gave up on the souvenir stand) who are VERY interested in the idea of a vault full of hundreds of Pokemon that have been trained to follow the orders of whoever uses them.
That night Pikachu again trains with Iron Tail, slicing a piece of the rock Ash throws at it then posing bravely before the rest of the rock lands on its head. Pikachu and Ash keep training through the night in preparation for the upcoming Gym Battle.
The next day Max is in class and already studying when Annetta - the girl we saw earlier - sits beside him and makes nice conversation. Max tells her he wishes he could go to the academy but Annetta tells him that she and Kenny both really don't care about Pokemon, in fact Kenny is frightened of them. Her parents and Kenny's force them to come and learn and train Pokemon, because they feel that in this Pokemon-obsessed world it pays to learn about Pokemon as soon as you can, and surely Kenny will get over his crippling fear of Pokemon if he is forced to be surrounded by them night and day. Tommy shows up and warns Max that they're going to finish what was started yesterday (Tommy asking questions and Max answering them quickly?) then Roxanne arrives and we get to see what a class is like.
They get to play with Pokemon!
Ash and Brock watch on, while May is nowhere to be seen as she has snuck into a Pokemon Contest class to learn more about what she is actually interested in... being a Pokemon Coordinator.
At Roxanne's request, Ash and Brock show the class Taillow, Treecko, Forretress and Lotad. Lotad appears to be sleeping and Brock crouches down to wake it up, and when it does Brock falls over flat on his back for absolutely no discernible or explained reason why the children laugh at him.
Oh Brock.
Roxanne explains to the kids that Ash and Brock are special guests indeed, since Ash was a Top Eight Finalist in the Johto League (when someone is in the Top
Apparently Roxanne has used the night (when she was apparently "teaching") to study up on her future opponent, though Ash doesn't find it strange that she knows so much about him. Brock is flattered at her knowledge and she explains that Pewter city is the flagship for all Rock-Type Gyms. Well Brock is puffed up like a rooster at this compliment, and has to go and ruin it by bragging that his Lotad is also special because it can use Water Gun. He offers to show the kids and commands his retarded cheap Mexican labourer to fire Water Gun.... and nothing happens. He leans down to ask Lotad what is happening and... Lotad blasts him with a face full of water!
Meanwhile Kenny is backed up in a corner as Ash approaches holding a rat in his arms and insisting Kenny touch it, touch it, go on stroke it. Max steps up and begins stroking Pikachu's cheek, telling Kenny there is no need to be scared, Pikachu is soft and pretty. Watching this, Tommy decides to be a little bastard and deliberately steps onto Poliwag's tail, causing it to fire Water Gun in surprise. The blast of water rockets towards Kenny and Max knocks him out of the way. Tommy insists it was an accident but Annetta accuses him of deliberately doing it. He pleads innocence, claiming he would never do such a thing, then pokes his tongue out at Max when no one is looking.
Over in the Contest Class, May sneaks out at the mention of a pop quiz, happy to gain the training information but not so keen to actually sit in on an exam. She finds the Beginners Class outside, then moves with the others outside where Max and Tommy both get the chance to take part in a Pokemon Battle! Yes Max actually gets to take place in a battle as he is issues with one random choice of a Pokeball.
Tommy's choice turns out to be a Magby, while Max has gotten Poliwag, which means that Max has the type advantage, but Tommy knows that battle is not necessarily about type but about technique. Max wonders to himself if he should use Water Gun or instead act to lower Magby's Defence, and while he is procrastinating, Tommy kicks things off by having Magby use Flamethrower. Max reacts surprisingly quickly though, having Poliwag use Defence Curl which raises its defence. Brock is impressed at his quick thinking, but when Magby uses Flamethrower again, Max has Poliwag absorb the impact instead of dodging or going on the offence. It then absorbs a third Flamethrower with Defence Curl again and looks burnt and hurt, though Max is only thinking in terms of stats and continues delaying over whether to use Water Gun or remain off the offensive, never realising that Tommy is about to win with one last Flamethrower. Max hasn't seemed to have clicked that fire HURTS and Poliwag's defence has gone up at the expense of its health. But before the match can end with a massive blow to Max's ego, a red light flashes and the Principal cries out that the Pokeballs have all been stolen!
Suddenly a giant Wurmple robot/tank smashes through the fence.
I love this show.
It is, of course, Team Rocket. Rather than making a clean, anonymous getaway with hundreds of stolen Pokeballs, they instead use the time to gloat over their victory.
"Prepare for trouble, we're in a class of our own!"
"Make it double, or leave well enough alone!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light,"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Dat's right!"
All of the stolen Pokeballs are hanging from a giant sack (where do Team Rocket get these giant sacks anyway? Is there a giant sack store next to the giant robot (discount) store?) on rope hanging from the giant Wurmple Robot/Tank.
Pikachu tries to use Thunderbolt, but they close the door around their cockpit and protect themselves from the electric attack. Pikachu tries again and again but fails each time, and when Brock calls out Forretress to help, Jesse sends out Seviper to smack it down with a Poison Tail. May sends out Wurmple to use String Shot but Cacnea shatters it with Pin Missile, then Jesse sends out her own Wurmple to see how it fares against May's.
The twerps are shocked that Team Rocket have a new Pokemon (though Ash at least doesn't claim they stole it) and Brock says it is just like May's. Jesse overhears this and growls that May's Wurmple is NOTHING like hers, then hugs and coos over Wurmple for being so cute before popping it back into its Pokeball.
Max asks Poliwag if it wants to fight as well and then prepares to get it to use some move that'll increase the speed of the velocity of its defensive attack strength without actually fucking doing anything.... but then Kenny interrupts to nervously tell Max that he should use an offensive attack, then tells Max he would have won against Tommy easily if he'd used Water Gun. Max thanks him while Roxanne credits Kenny for showing the amazing ability to both talk and realise Max did a piss poor job of fighting. Poliwag uses Water Gun on Seviper, then Track suited Tommy declares he isn't going to let Max get all the credit and has Magby use Flamethrower on Cacnea. Max congratulates Tommy on his help and Tommy seems taken aback then acts dismissive, before turning his head giving a secretly pleased smile. Ash prepares to help out, but Roxanne stops him from getting involved because she wants to see how the kids will do.
Kenny is giving directions like a general to Max and Tommy and Roxanne is pleased as punch, telling Brock she'll step in if things look like they're going badly. Poliwag fires Water Gun at the Rockets who hide behind their door, then Cacnea uses Pin Missile but Poliwag fends it off using Protect, and an angry Team Rocket suddenly notice they can smell something cooking... them! Tommy has snuck around the back and heated up the tank with Flamethrower. Then Annetta uses Pidgey to cut the rope holding the Pokeball Sack, and Roxanne steps in to claim the credit by unleashing Geodude, which uses Rollout to send Team Rocket blasting off again.
Well that's that, and everyone has a circle jerk over how great everyone else is, with Annetta coming to the inevitable realisation that she only THOUGHT she didn't like Pokemon, because EVERYONE loves Pokemon, even you and if you don't then you're a freak and you have no friends and girls won't like you.
Brock compliments Roxanne and tells Ash he is in for a tough battle tomorrow, but Ash says the stronger the opponent, the better, and Roxanne suggests that maybe she is the one who should be worried.
Oh Roxanne, you better be worried. Those credentials as a top level school trainer and the early promotion to Gym Leader are going to look pretty crap on your Resume next to, "Beaten by moron who can't crack the top four of a 'real' tournament".
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