281: You Said A Mouthful!
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The twerps head up to a high walled compound and a kid comes rushing out clutching a Pokeball and crying out that there is no way that can be a "Normal" Pokemon, then takes off. Well this only serves to heat up Ash's interest some more, and he heads inside crying out that he's come to challenge the World's Strongest Pokemon.
Tinned applause emanates from loudspeakers and as the twerps look around in confusion, a young chap with a gold championship belt strapped WAAAY too high around his stomach comes flying through the air along with.... Oh Sweet Gentle Jesus what is that THING!?!
An albatross looking Pokemon, a bird with a GIANT beak that is bigger than its body stands besides the youthful looking chap. It is Pelipper, and it is one of nature's cruel jokes.
The young chap introduces himself as Anthony, who explains that he loves a call to battle and will happily battle Ash. But be warned, this isn't an Official Pokemon Gym and there are no badges to be won, no this is all about bragging rights. And it seems that Anthony is all about the bragging as he declares that he and his Pelipper are undefeated and undefeatable. Ash notes Anthony's confidence as Brock shows his disdain, but as always is more interested in a Pokemon than a human, and he uses Dextina to get some information on the bizarre bird.
"Pelipper, the water bird Pokemon. Pelipper carries small items in their mouths over long distances, and when tired, rest floating on the water."
Anthony declares with his weird shaped mouth (he almost has a beak of his own!) that he won't rest until everyone knows that Pelipper is the most powerful Pokemon in the world. He explains the rules to Ash, he will only use Pelipper while Ash is free to use any and as many of his Pokemon as he wants. Brock proclaims that this is getting better and better, and the pair prepare to square off in the battle arena.
Things start off with Treecko facing off against Pelipper while Max explains to May the limited attacks that Pelipper knows. Treecko avoids a Wing Attack from Pelipper and Max comments that it doesn't look THAT impressive, May replying that this is often the way with people who brag.
!
Oh May, so young and yet already so corrupt.
Pelipper swings back up, and then uses.... VINE WHIP!?!?!
Yes, to the shock of Max and Brock (May doesn't know what the fuck) Pelipper opens its freakishly large mouth and out shoot two vines that catch Treecko around the ankle, haul it up into the air where the bird is still flying and then swings Treecko around and around and around and then releases, crashing the grass type into the ground and knocking it out.
Ash is shocked and calls out Taillow to try and sort this out. Pelipper and Taillow fly about each other, but Taillow is faster and gets behind Pelipper then prepares for a Peck Attack.... but Pelipper twists about and hits Taillow with... FLAMETHROWER!
Yes, Taillow hits the ground knocked out by the astonishingly multitalented Pelipper, which drops to the ground as Anthony mocks Ash, who is down to only one Pokemon to use. Luckily for Ash, while Pelipper might be some kind of mutant monster, Pikachu is a freak of nature with power above and beyond its tiny body. Anthony seems confident though, and a shocked Max is in a state of furious disbelief that Pelipper could use not only Vine Whip and Flamethrower but might know electric attacks too!?!
Pelipper opens its gaping maw and a light shines from within, and when Pikachu prepares to let loose with Thunder Pelipper returns the favour. The two Thunder Attacks hit in the middle of the arena and set off an explosion that knocks both Pikachu and Pelipper down. Anthony rushes to Pelipper in shock and declares it needed a more powerful POKEMON.... uhh... he means attack.... to defeat Pikachu. He then hauls Pelipper up in his arms (and suddenly he doesn't look like a lean, youthful guy but a massively built bodybuilder), declares that now Ash knows what it means to fight the world's most powerful Pokemon, then rushes inside.
The twerps gather around Pikachu, and Brock suggests they get it straight to the Pokemon Centre. They rush off, leaving the arena empty.... but only for a moment, when who should pop their heads over the fence but own beloved Team Rocket!
Jesse asks if James just saw that, and he did.... why if they could capture the World's Most Powerful Pokemon then they could use it capture Pikachu easily! But wait; as Jesse points out if they capture the World's Most Powerful Pokemon then they'll have no need for Pikachu. But wait! To catch the World's Most Powerful Pokemon they'll need a Pokemon more powerful that the World's Most Powerful Pokemon.... but first they'd have to capture THAT Pokemon so they'd need a Pokemon more powerful that the Pokemon that is more powerful that the World's Most Powerful Pokemon and.... Meowth just bit his tongue.
Well hey, Jesse can see that her troops are getting despondent so she leaps up, steals a trademarked catchphrase and proclaims, "JUST DO IT!"
James and Meowth agree, they shall "just do it!" and Jesse grins and orders them to put their heads together then and come up with a plan.
Hey, she's a mover and shaker, not an ideas lady!
Meanwhile, inside Anthony's the big lad is asking Pelipper if it is alright as he looks deep into its cold dead eyes. Pelipper squawks an affirmative and Anthony grins with joy, then hears a tinny Brooklyn voice proclaim through a loudspeaker that they have a Pokemon more powerful that the World's Most Powerful Pokemon!
He and Pelipper rush outside and find the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon hovering above them. He demands to know who is spouting such nonsense, and gets an answer.
"Prepare for trouble we're Team Rocket, hear us shout!"
"And make it double, how's that for a spout!!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket spouts off the truth at the speed of light,"
"Surrender now I always say or prepare for a fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
"WOBBUFFET!"
Meowth demands that Anthony hand over that powerful Pelipper please, but Anthony responds by sending the big bird up to fight. This was just what Team Rocket wanted, as they duck out of sight (though Wobbuffet remains patiently pleased and in place) then reappear wearing crash helmets and padded costumers. As Pelipper fires out a Vine Whip, a metallic hand pops out of the carry basket and grabs the vines. Pelipper tries to pull back as the metal hand pulls and.... a Bellsprout falls out of Pelipper's mouth and crashes into the ground!
Team Rocket is... well.... confused! Anthony is panic-stricken and lets loose a series of conflicting orders that lead to Pelipper suddenly letting loose from its mouth at the same time a Thunderbolt, Water Gun AND Flamethrower! Suddenly Pelipper's massive beak begins to... bubble and boil?
What fresh hell is this?
Team Rocket grabs Pelipper which is tipped upside down.... and out of the big bird's mouth drops a Magby and a Magnemite! Well Team Rocket is shocked and horrified (though apparently not confused over the lack of a Pokemon in Pelipper's mouth capable of Water Gun. They admonish Anthony for his quite frankly dishonest actions, and Anthony rightly accepts being looked down on by a trio of career criminals who just tried to steal his Pokemon. He explains that he just wanted Pelipper to be the world's strongest Pokemon, and is shocked when Team Rocket suggest they're going to spread the word about his dishonesty. Anthony cries out as he hugs Pelipper that the legend of the World's Most Powerful Pokemon must go on. Well, Team Rocket agrees, the legend WILL continue.... on the basis that Anthony tells Pelipper to always follow their commands!
And with tears in his eyes, a distraught Anthony agrees.
Meanwhile in the Pokemon Centre, Max is furiously reading through his books trying to figure out how the hell Pelipper was able to use so many different moves. May continues to mock Max, telling him that reality doesn't always match what he reads, but Brock agrees with Max that something is wrong. Just then a glowing needle light on the wall signals that Ash's Pokemon are healed (either that or it's time for the heroin addicts to get their methadone treatment) and Nurse Joy steps out with two Pokeballs and Pikachu on a tray. But as Ash is reunited, May and the others call him and Nurse Joy into the front lobby where a large number of sobbing people stand around looking disconsolate.
Apparently they all stepped up to the challenge of the World's Most Powerful Pokemon, and once they lost... they lost their Pokemon too! Nurse Joy is shocked at this blatant breach of the rules, and Ash is furious that Anthony is doing this. But apparently Brock read a couple of pages ahead in the script and tells them he doesn't think Anthony is responsible.
Elsewhere in the town, Jesse and James are dressed up in pink and green tuxedoes (sadly Jesse is the one who is pretty in pink, not James) with oversized polka-dot bowties putting forth a carnie-like pitch for people to step up and try their luck against the World's Most Powerful Pokemon. Jesse (who has a really fat hand today for some reason) entices a big strong man dressed in a karate outfit to try his luck using a Zigzagoon, but he lasts less than 30 seconds when Pelipper hits Zigzagoon with razor leaf, flamethrower and Thunder in quick succession, and the big strong man takes off running like a little bitch.
Jesse and James are ecstatic with their plan, hunched over a box filled with stolen Pokeballs and finally involved in a scheme that is working. But as they cackle, Meowth notices the twerps rushing towards Anthony's and realises the jig is up. He rushes to warn Team Rocket and James makes a surprising decision.... let's take the Pokeballs and get the hell out of here!
But Jesse overrides this entirely sensible plan, saying that times have changed, they have a ton of Pokeballs and Pelipper and THIS time they can defeat Pikachu. James - easily swayed - agrees immediately and they begin throwing Pokeball after Pokeball into Pelipper's gaping maw. Meowth warns that it is too much, much too much and so J & J hit upon a genius idea.... they'll throw Meowth in as battle director!
The squawking Scratch-Cat is tossed into Pelipper's mouth along with what looks to be scores of Pokeballs, and his protests are soon overwhelmed by Jesse and James telling him that he'll be the brains behind the World's Most Powerful Pokemon.
Ash shows up calling for Anthony, and out waddles Pelipper with a VERY distorted beak. Ash asks where Anthony is, but before Pelipper can reply with a muffled "Pelipper!" Jesse and James slip in behind it and declare that Anthony retired and left Pelipper to them.
Ash doesn't believe that, after all he got to meet the guy a couple of hours ago for 3 minutes so if anyone knows Anthony, Ash does!
However, James and his confusingly badly drawn fists lay down the challenge, and Jesse adds the proviso. If Ash wants all of the Pokemon returned to their proper owners he will have to defeat Pelipper.... but if he can't, they get Pikachu!
Ash agrees to the conditions, not because he honestly plans on handing over Pikachu but because he actually believes he can beat Pelipper. He sends out Pikachu while Pelipper flies into the air and Meowth tries to figure out a strategy, eventually settling on using Bellsprout to use Vine Whip. But Pikachu dodges the attack, causing Meowth to use Magby to fire a Smokescreen that leaves Pikachu blinded and ALMOST hit by Razor Leaf from Bellsprout and then Flamethrower from Magby. But Pikachu dodges it all and as Ash tries to figure out a way to get off the defensive and onto offence, Meowth tries to figure out a way to put a stop to Pikachu.
Meanwhile, Max has rushed inside of Anthony's to try and figure out the secret behind Pelipper's impossible move set. As he searches, he hears muffled moaning and enters a room to discover Anthony tied up, as apparently his earlier agreement with Team Rocket caused them to tie him up rather than use him as a legitimate front. Max rushes him outside and Anthony begins to tell the truth, causing Jesse and James to demand that Meowth.... uhh, Pelipper.... put an end to Pikachu. Inside Pelipper, Meowth suddenly realises (accompanied by a cute, childish drawing) that if he hits Pikachu with Water Gun and then a Thunder Attack, Pikachu will be out for the count! He begins searching around for a Pokeball with a Water Pokemon in it until he suddenly realises that Pelipper is also a Water Pokemon and capable of Water Gun attacks.
Ahhh, that'll explain our question from earlier then.
He orders Pelipper to use Water Gun, forgetting that Pelipper's mouth is currently filled with Pokeballs and.... well, a Meowth! The Water Gun hits Pikachu, but also Ash, then May and Brock, then Jesse and James, hitting them so hard that it knocks their clothes off! (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA! They're wearing their uniforms beneath their tuxedoes). Meowth and the Pokeballs crash to the ground while Max brings Anthony up to the twerps and the latter explains his scheme and Team Rocket's extension to it.
But Team Rocket don't care, they grab up their stolen Pokeballs and make a run for it, jumping into their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon and making a run for it. As they float up, dressed again in their football/spaceman uniforms, Pelipper swoops up and knocks loose the giant sack of Pokeballs. Furious, Team Rocket turn to plan B and try to capture Pikachu. Pikachu fires a Thunder at the balloon but the electricity has no effect. As they try to figure out a way to prevent Team Rocket capturing Pikachu (dodge the metal hand? Have Taillow or Treecko or Pelipper pop the balloon?) May shows that she HAS been paying attention and suggests that water conducts electricity. Pelipper coats the balloon with water; Team Rocket laughing as they put up their umbrellas and Meowth forgets that he was using this plan not 1 minute earlier.
Pikachu fires a Thunder and suddenly Team Rocket remembers that water conducts electricity.... and then Team Rocket is blasting off again.
Well that is one set of villains disposed of, but now how to deal with Anthony? After all he was cheating quite blatantly and has been for some time. The twerps are obviously going to.... be his friends and tell him he's a great team player with tactics that are a "teensy bit shady"?
Well fuck, it appears that Anthony is a "good guy" and thus allowed to break the rules, screw with the minds of young impressionable trainers and cheat to gain the fame that allowed him at a comparatively young age to own a large section of property with a large house. Apparently as long as your name doesn't begin with Team and end with Rocket, you can do whatever the hell you want in the world of Pokemon.
Goddammit, Ash.
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