278: Tree's a Crowd
|
|
Max is convinced it is May's fault, since she made them take a turn he thought they shouldn't have, but May retorts the way they took had pretty flowers (!) and besides, Max has a Poke-Nav and should know where they are. But wherever they are, it is out of the Poke-Nav's range, so the twerps are effectively lost. As Max and May growl at each other, Brock tries to play peacemaker and slaps his hands over their mouths, telling them that he and Ash get lost all of the time. Ash laughingly agrees, saying that when he, Brock and Misty were travelling around they used to get lost all of the time....
Oh Johto League, you took the piss, then kicked us in the balls and took some more.
....but his attempts are no more successful than Brock's, as May and Max pointedly ignore each other in favour of the trees.
Tree's A Crowd.
As the siblings ignore each other, Ash suddenly notices some shadowy figures darting through the treetops. He cries out in alarm and the others turn to see one of the Pokemon stop amongst the trees to stare at them. A kind of tiny humanoid lizard on all fours with a giant green tail, giant yellow eyes stare at the twerps as Max excitedly proclaims it to be a Treecko.
"Treecko, The Wood Gecko Pokemon," says Dextina, "Treecko are able to climb smooth vertical walls and use their thick tail to attack opponents. Since Treecko build their nests in large trees, it is said that those trees will live a very long life."
May thinks the lizardly Pokemon with hooded yellow eyes are "cute" and Ash is excited at the prospect to finally catch a Treecko, the first he has seen since Professor Birch's lab.
"This is my first chance to do it!" cries Ash, which may be a bit too much information. He flings a Pokeball at the Treecko with absolutely no pre-battling, and the Treecko simply slaps it away with a tail as May narrows her eyes and reminds Ash of the advice he gave her only a few days ago.... weaken a Pokemon with battling before trying to capture it.
"Pokemon Master," snorts May derisively. Now she has an older, taller man with better skills around she seems to have lost all interest in trying to get Ash to respond to her obvious charms. Ash hangs his head in shame until the Treecko begin to race off through the trees, and he gives chase. Max calls for May and Brock to follow, but May zooms by Max before he finishes talking, making him roar with anger and give chase as Brock grins at seeing them "play so well together".
Ash and Pikachu rush along the forest floor calling after the Treecko until he suddenly notices through the trees ahead of him a massive tree trunk. Of course, running through the forest and not looking where you are going is never a great idea. Throw Ash into the equation and things get a lot worse, as he trips over a massive tree root and plunges down a long slope on his ass. Crashing to the bottom, he pulls himself up and stares in wonder at a huge (and we mean HUGE) tree stretching far up into the sky, towering over the other trees in the forest.
"Pikachu look, it's sooo big!" says Ash, "Seems almost magical."
Oh Ash, you're going to make some prison inmate VERY happy.
But the tree also looks like it is dying, and as Ash and Pikachu stare up at the bare branches, a thin twig with a leaf attached is fired into the ground in front of them. They look up into one of the lower branches where a Treecko sits with another twig sticking out from its mouth, much like a Clint Eastwood Spaghetti Western cigar.
Ash demands it stop firing twigs at them and come down and battle, and the Treecko obliges by leaping from branch to branch then hitting the ground and smashing Pikachu in the face hard with its massive leaf-life tail. Pikachu is sent flying, crashing into a root and then leaping back up with fierce determination.
"Treecko Treecko Treecko!" mocks Treecko, twig gripped between its teeth and making a taunting beckon with one hand. Pikachu charges at Treecko again but the Grass-Type dodges aside and smashes Pikachu with the tail again as Ash watches on.
Also watching from high up on the slope is Team Rocket. Jesse is very impressed with Treecko's actions, as is James. Given the way Treecko is handling Pikachu; capturing Treecko would mean an even better gift for the Boss.
"He'll wake up from his daily dose, wit a Treecko tail rubbing his nose," says Meowth as he settles into a Vaseline tinted Giovanni Fantasy. The ruthless leader of Team Rocket can be found lying in bed wearing a dressing gown, woken by the tickling of his nose by a Treecko tail. He sits up and yawns happily, before we find him dressed only in his underwear while Treecko sits on his ass and gives him a back massage.
!
"For catching dis Treecko Pokemon," says Giovanni in a very Meowth-like voice, "I tink Meowth and his team deserve a promotion. I'm appointing you directors of the Hoenn Branch!"
Jesse and James are ecstatic over the idea, finally James can use his leadership skills! But as Wobbuffet bravely salutes the concept of everything, James notices that the one Treecko has become a ton of Treecko.
Down on the battlefield, Ash sits by Pikachu as the bad-ass Treecko chews on a twig and stares down a large collection of other Treecko led by a very old looking Treecko.
It mutters something to the twig Treecko who (looking very much like a young unshaven Clint Eastwood with its red underbelly and chin) who angrily responds by shoving the old man over. As Ash comments to Pikachu that the one Treecko doesn't seem to get along with the others, up on the hill Meowth is urged to translate since Jesse just loves watching other people fight.
It seems the Elder Treecko believes Treecko Eastwood is wasting his time hanging around with the old massive tree that has passed its use-by date. But Treecko Eastwood was born in those branches and won't write off the tree that sheltered him in his younger days. He'll fight now to protect his tree, a concept of loyalty that would bring lesser people to tears, as James says while both he and Meowth bawl their eyes out. But Jesse is made of sterner stuff and insists that you should always strive to replace old things with the new.... especially homes and boyfriends!
"Homes and boyfriends!?!" gasps James, staring up at Jesse against her backdrop of a mansion and a male model dressed in a suit and smirking.
The other Treecko finish their business with Clint Treecko and head away, leaving it alone with the dying tree and Ash and Pikachu. Jesse meanwhile has come up with a plan that proves her brilliance, a plan that involves them grabbing all of the Treecko that they can.
BRILLIANT!
Treecko stands before Ash and Pikachu for a second staring at the tree, then its hard look softens slightly and it quickly scales the tree then rushes along a branch and disappears into the forest. Ash calls after it to no avail, but when he turns Pikachu is sitting up on a branch calling out to him. After a few seconds Ash figures it out (doesn't happen often), if they wait in the tree long enough, Treecko will come back!
What of Brock, May and Max while all this is going on? Well Brock has been baking and May is happily chowing down while sitting quite close to him. Max wonders what happened to Ash and Pikachu and May responds cheerfully, "WHO CARES!?!"
She continues to eat and Max demands to know how she can think of food, but May's response is to lift an arm threateningly (oh my) and tell him that if he doesn't want to eat he can just give her his food. He twists away and grumbles that he never said he wasn't going to eat it, and Brock assures them that Ash will be fine as long as he has Pikachu around. The siblings agree, though only one of them seemed to give a rat's ass anyway.
Meanwhile Ash is sitting up in the tree worried that Brock, May and Max may be worried. Not knowing that they're busy chowing down on food, Ash worries they may be out there searching for him. He spots some Murkrow flying by and comes up with the bright idea of calling out Taillow and asking it to find them and bring them to the tree. Taillow flies off and Ash starts to wonder if maybe Treecko isn't returning, until he and Pikachu spot the stubborn Pokemon with a giant leaf full of water approaching the treebase. Reaching the trunk, it gently pours water into the soil then pats down some leaves around the base before heading off into a series of held cells with crayon rubbings around the edges. Ash realises that it is trying to save the tree, but is it too late? He and Pikachu hop down from the tree (it isn't clear how Ash got up into the branches anyway) and begin to help Treecko, who views them with suspicion at first then happily lets them help out. But as they move back and forth to grab water, they suddenly see a large cloud of dust and smoke near the giant tree and rush to find the smaller trees being rammed by a large bulldozer. Mechanical arms attached to the bulldozer grab Treeckos as they fall out of the branches, flinging them into a cage. The bulldozer drivers appear to spot Ash, Pikachu and Treecko and it turns and charges right at them HITTING THEM AND KILLING THEM INSTANTLY!
Well, apparently not. Apparently a giant armoured bulldozer ramming into a 13 year old kid, a fat yellow rat and the world's best Treecko Clint Eastwood Impersonator will only knock them back a few feet. Ash gets up none the worse for wear and demands to know what is going on.
"Prepare for trouble! And that's a threat!"
"This time what's double is our net!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blast off again at the speed of light,"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
"WOBBUFFET!"
"TEAM ROCKET!" cries Ash, rather redundantly.
Team Rocket indeed, and they jump into the basket of their Happy Buddha Face Meowth balloon and waste no time in lifting off. The cage with all of the Treecko inside is also lifted into the air, and a Thunderbolt from Pikachu only serves to light up the festive Christmas decorations all over the balloon. Ash then moves to use Taillow, but he sent it away to find his uncaring friends!
Team Rocket laugh and a net attached to a pole that must be roughly 100 feet long swoops down and grabs Pikachu and it seems Team Rocket are victorious. But Treecko Eastwood is watching from within the branches of a tree and fires the twig from its mouth at the Balloon, but fails to puncture it! Team Rocket laugh at the attempt to bring them down with a twig of all things, and James calls out Cacnea to use Pin Cushion against Treecko, which dodges the shot while grabbing another twig.
"Cacnea, The Cactus Pokemon," details Dextina as Ash tries to find out about the new Pokemon, "Cacnea lives primarily, in dry desert areas, and attacks by swings its pin covered arms, like hammers."
"When did they get that?" asks Ash, "I'm sure they probably stole it!"
Oh Goddammit, Ash.
Meanwhile the brave little Cacnea is about to be sent on its first mission by James, to capture that annoying Treecko! But before it can, Treecko leaps up onto the basket and KICKS JESSE RIGHT IN THE GODDAMN FACE! She stumbles back and her ass bangs into a button (lucky button) which opens the top of the cage holding the other Treecko inside. They quickly zip out as Treecko leaps about kicking Team Rocket and swatting them with its tail. It then leaps up onto the underside of the balloon and grins around its twig down at Cacnea, taunting the freshfaced Team Rocket member by slapping its own arse.
Cacnea lets loose with a volley of pincushions and Treecko leaps aside, the pins bursting through the balloon and sending Team Rocket, well.... looks like they're blasting off again!
Treecko drops back down to the ground amongst the other Treecko. Ash and Pikachu have been reunited and thank Treecko for helping them, then they head back to the massive tree where once again the elderly Treecko tries to make peace with Treecko Eastwood before kind of... rubbing... his tail... against the other Treecko's.... and... oh God make it stop.
But God and Nature are furious at this blatant display of Pokemon assrubbing and the tree bursts asunder! It splits right down the middle and all of the Treecko desperately try to hold it together as the sun rises.... and suddenly the tree is reborn!
Well kind of, in a rather odd display we apparently get to see the entire lifetime of the tree stretch out before all of the Treecko from birth to growth to dropped acorn/nuts to death. One last acorn falls from the corpse of the tree before Treecko, and Ash drops to a knee to suggest that the tree is trying to say thank yo.... WHAP UPSIDE THE FACE!
YES! Treecko has slapped Ash silly, giving him a good solid blow across the face. It seems these Hoenn Pokemon play for keeps!
Ash sits on his ass dazed and confused (usually he stands dazed and confused), figuring that Treecko is saying it wants to battle. Indeed it is, and they prepare to kick things off as Brock, May and Max finally locate their missing friend, led there by Taillow.
They're just in time to see Pikachu make a series of Thunderbolt Attacks on Treecko, who dodges the first two but is hit hard by the third.... but then shakes it off! Yes Treecko is a Grass Type which puts Pikachu at a disadvantage, and not only that but Treecko is FAST too, so Pikachu can't even uses its high Agility to offset the advantage. Pikachu and Treecko square off again and Pikachu attempts a Quick Attack, but Treecko jumps backwards into the air to dodge.... and Ash calls for another electric attack!
Treecko is blasted and screams in pain, then collapses to the ground unconscious.
Well as anyone who has played the games knows, once you knock a wild Pokemon into unconsciousness you have to leave its limp body lying out in the open for predators to feast on rather than try to capture them. But Ash is never one to play by (or remember) the rules and he throws out a Pokeball while Brock plays lecturer and explains to a confused May and Max why the electric attack worked on Treecko. Usually Grass Types are strong against electric attacks because they diffuse the attack into the ground or nearby trees. But while Treecko was in the air it was unable to do so and took the full brunt of the attack.
And Ash has just caught a Treecko!
Calling it back out, Ash asks Treecko if it wants to journey with him (bit too bad if it doesn't, since Ash has just captured it!) and it agrees. The creepy old Treecko that likes to rub tails with younger, more virile Treeckos, says goodbye and hands over the tree nut, which Treecko then buries and covers in leaves. Then the twerps set off on their way to Rustborough once again with the other Treecko promising to look after the new tree as it grows.
So Ash has begun to replace the high level, powerful Pokemon he left behind. Now Pikachu is joined by Taillow - a drunken Scottish thug - and Treecko - an intense Clint Eastwood-esque loner - on his journey towards the Hoenn League. How will they work out?
Only time will tell, Gentle Dodgers.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Life's about exchanging old things for new.....especially homes and boyfriends!" "Homes and boyfriends?!?!"
 "What do you think happened to Ash and Pikachu?" "Wo cares?"
"I'm brilliant!" "She's brilliant!"
(crying)"A weaker person would be moved to tears by that story!""I love watching other people's troubles!""It's the promotion we've been waiting for!""I can use my leadership skills!"
|
|
