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TEAM ROCKET
MORAL LEARNT
600: Strategy Begins At Home!    606: Hikari Tai Mama! Oyako Taiketsu!    Dawn Versus Her Mother          Dawn returns home and gets beat up by her mother   Something fishy about their work     Hard work goes unpaid  


Today finds the twerps approaching Twinleaf Town, Dawn's hometown. Spotting it, Dawn gets excited and races Piplup towards her home. Piplup takes the "race" too seriously as always, while Ash and Brock follow on with more restraint. Dawn's returning home for her next Contest, which will feature her mother as the Chairperson, so she better work out a strategy to impress, because....



The town is very quiet, and Ash says it reminds him of Pallet Town (in that it's a place he never visits or calls because he is a lousy son?). Up ahead, a fat man and woman are working with a tall, grumpy looking man for the Festival set-up, including food stalls and the like, and Dawn recognises them and approaches. They're Izzy and Cara, and she introduces them to Ash and Brock and then belatedly to a frantic Piplup which wants her to pay attention to him. Cara complains that Izzy is a useless fat sack of shit (right in front of him!) and Dawn just ignores the little domestic, while the stern looking man is left just standing there, unloved, unappreciated and unintroduced.

Dawn takes Ash and Brock to meet her mother - Johanna - who will be pleased to meet these two boys that travel around with her little daughter in her short skirt and sleep in the same room with her and rough out in the forest. Piplup tries to make friends with Johanna's Pokémon Glameow and Umbreon, both of which blank him and make him freak out. An older girl comes down the stairs with a Bellossom, someone Dawn knows called Noelle who is apparently taking Johanna's Coordinator Course. Dawn shows off her ribbons to Noelle, and then.... oh dear!

OUT OF THE WAY, DAWN! BROCK HORNY!


He declares himself a budding breeder (snicker) and tries to turn on the charm and offers her a robe... and Croagunk asspunches him and Bellossom queefs dust in his face, leaving him down and out and dragged away.

Ignoring the sexual abuse and beating of his friend, Ash is checking out Johanna's many prizes/trophies etc. Dawn explains that her mother was a top coordinator before "retiring", though she still has friendly contest battles with those who ask.... and then Dawn comes up with an idea - she wants to battle her mother!

Is that oedipal?


Meanwhile, a little outside of town in shorts and garish Hawaiian shirts are Team Rocket... fishing! Complaining that the Goldeen aren't biting due to the shitty rods they're using, they raise the ire of their current employer - the stern man seen with Izzy and Cara earlier - Mr. Sayer!

He's got a name!


He demands they catch him some Goldeen, because of a Goldeen Scooping Booth he wants for the Festival. They assure him they will, leaving the bankrupt Team Rocket behind who need the money to keep in action.

While they work for a living, the freeloading twerps are chowing down at Johanna's. She compliments Brock's own cooking, saying that Dawn has told her about it and pointing out how well Umbreon and Glameow are enjoying the food. Noelle asks for the recipe, which is the worst thing she could have done as Brock's head explodes. Throughout all of this, Ash just happily chows down on his food, nothing getting between him and eating.

Leaping out of his seat he declares that he will include for free his secret recipe of love! As he starts getting a bit TOO euphemistic about turning up the heat and letting things simmer, he gets doubleteamed (not in a good way) by Croagunk and Bellossom again.

After the meal, Dawn helps her mother do the dishes, while Ash feels a pang for his own home and family and those he loves the most. So he uses Johanna's videophone to call....... Professor Oak! Oh dear, I wonder how Delia reacts at night when Professor Oak is getting into bed and mentions,"Oh Ash called again today...."

Oak tells Ash to take advantage of learning from Johanna's expertise in the form of a poem. Dawn slides in, excited to hear from "The Poetry Man", and the twerps learn that Professor Oak is coming to Twinleaf for the Festival as a special guest, making Ash excited to hear he'll get to see him soon.

And finally Delia has had enough!



She explains she was just delivering some "herbs" (oh my!) to Professor Oak and this is perfect timing. Johanna introduces herself and Delia tells her to feel free to discipline her fine young man who "can be a bit rambunctious".

Haha!


Meanwhile at the lake, Team Rocket are catching Pokémon..... but not Goldeen! They keep catching different kind of Water Pokémon (including valuable ones!) and throwing them back because they need Goldeen!

They're.... they're really not that smart.


Outside Johanna's house, Brock and Happiny are doing the gardening because Brock is a miserable, grasping virgin who doesn't know how to get laid. Dawn and Johanna decide to have their battle while Brock is working on the garden, but then Sayer, Izzy and Cara show up to bother Johanna over the placement of stalls in the festival. Izzy and Cara can't seem to make up their minds and it is driving Sayer mad, and so they've come to Johanna to seek guidance from her mighty bouffant hairdo. She solves their dilemma by pointing out that there is extra money in the budget so they can have both the stalls they want. Apparently the people of Twinleaf, whether they're fat idiots or angry middle-aged men with high blood pressure, are just stupid.

They leave, mollified, and Johanna explains they're learning as they go along... and now it is time for Dawn to battle her mother and prove that..... wait, Mr. Sayer can't take his eyes of her hypnotic bouffant!

He's returned, staring with wonder at her hair. He says that now Izzy and Cara can't decide WHERE to place the stalls, so Johanna suggests they just do a walk around to pick out the best locations. They leave together, leaving the twerps and Noelle with nothing to do until she gets back. Ash decides to take Pikachu for a walk around Twinleaf and asks Dawn if she wants to come with him (ahaha, Brock gets left out again!) but she decides to stick around to plan her strategy with Piplup against Johanna.

Ash takes Pikachu into the forest where they encounter some Sunflora chasing the sun. Pikachu follows a Ledyba, skids to a stop (complete with Scooby Doo skidding noises) and ends up getting a nose full of pollen and getting the sneezes!

Hehehehe, sneezing animals, there for no reason other than because it is cute!


Rustling in the bushes gets Ash's attention, but as he approaches a little boy calls out to him not to go that way. Ash and Pikachu get down into the bushes and the little boy introduces himself as Nathaniel and explains that he put honey in the bushes earlier, then asks if he can hug Pikachu!

Boy knows what he wants!


He wants to be a trainer but is too young, so he spends all his time he can around Pokémon. He spots a Heracross licking the honey from the tree and Ash has a flashback to when he was a very small little boy (as opposed to a slightly average sized boy now) freaking out with happiness when he saw a very small Rapidash. He beams rather moronically at Nathaniel who explains that he loves Bug Types, so stupid Ash decides to regale him with stories of how he has a Heracross that likes to sexually harass his Bulbasaur.

Meanwhile, Dawn is taking part in the WORST pre-battle planning conference of all time.



This really can NOT end well.


Piplup is trying to take it all seriously even though he doesn't understand what is going on. But Pachirisu is easily distracted and walks over to the television on which is a framed photo of cut-outs of all of Dawn's victories in Contests. Dawn is delighted, of course, and then Johanna returns and it is time for the battle to begin!

It's going to be a 2 on 2 Contest Battle, and Brock tries once again to use the opportunity to come on to Noelle. He gets a warning well in advance from Bellossom AND Croagunk to keep it in his pants and instead just shouts out good luck to mother and daughter.

Dawn starts with a Whirlpool Discharge (damn, you should get that looked that!) and creates a sparkling whirlpool while Brock has to fight off his natural inclination to lust all over Noelle. Umbreon and Glameow use Quick Attacks to criss-cross dodge around the sparkling Whirlpool, then land and break it up with a Double Shadowball which follows through and takes Piplup and Pachirisu both off their feet.

Dawn uses her planning to good effect and has Piplup lay down a wall of bubblebeams, forming a distraction that lets Pachirisu use Super Fang on the unsuspecting Pokémon and score a shot...... but Johanna has a plan!

HORNINESS!


Using Double Attract, her Glameow and Umbreon throw winks at Pachirisu and Piplup and turn them into little Brocklings! Ash sighs, he may not understand lust but he sure as hell knows he doesn't approve of what is currently going on. Piplup and Pachirisu have lost all mental capacity, and Brock must have as well as he slides up behind Noelle to tell her that HE is attracted to HER, and gets another serious warning from Bellossom and Croagunk.

A Double Swift knocks Piplup and Pachirisu dizzy and out, and Dawn loses to her mother and her all-consuming Bouffant hairdo of doom. Dawn is upset momentarily but then smiles and takes her asskicking in good grace, picking up Piplup and Pachirisu and telling them they did a good job. Johanna congratulates her on the obvious bond she has formed with her Pokémon, which she says will hold her in good stead, and everyone celebrates while Brock desperately panics as his doom closes in around him.



But as this heartwarming scene ends, another greets us as we see Team Rocket hauling Goldeen after Goldeen out of the lake and into a small pool behind them. Meowth thinks they've caught enough and James notes they'll be well compensated for this haul by Mr. Sayer. Jesse decides to get one last Goldeen for luck which is, of course, their downfall, as she pulls up an infuriated Gyarados (of course!) which Hyperbeams the fuck out of them and sends them blasting off again.... UNPAID!

BEST QUOTES

"But wait there's more! If you act now I'll also reveal to you my secret recipe of love! Chocked full of sugar, spice and everything nice!"




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