ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
599: Three Sides To Every Story!	605: Mariru, Potchama, Erekiddo!	Piplup's First Wet Dream			Piplup hits puberty and has his heart crushed	Jesse doesn't quite understand how status conditions work	Love is a painful, bitter experience and you'll all die alone and unmourned

Today finds a dark and stormy night and Dawn running in horror from.... Raikou!?! Motherfucking Raikou!?! It blasts lightning at her and she is saved by... Piplup!?! It blocks the attack, then leaps with a Peck at Raikou which smashes it out of the air so it crashes down into the dark and stormy night of the.... sunlit grass on a bright noon day in the forest as the twerps are resting while Brock prepares a meal?

Piplup sits up confused by its very first wet dream (come on, it saved a damsel in distress wearing a short skirt by leaping into the air and making part of its body grow longer and harder!) and bursts into tears, leaving everyone confused. Oh boy, this is going to be a weird one. But we shouldn't judge the perverted little penguin, because there are....



After presumably calming down Piplup (and cleaning him up) the twerps move on and find an orchard of various berries. Piplup approaches too close to one and gets bopped in the face by a Marill, sits up angrily and.... falls in love! With Marill! He starts masturbating (seriously, look at what he is doing!) and Ash completely fails to understand what is going on, much to Dawn (and Pikachu's!?!) consternation.

Marill's trainer shows up and the introductions are made, her name is Lulu and this is her parents' orchard. Her parents are away because they're negligent fucks, so Lulu invites the twerps to stay the night since she's desperately lonely (pay attention Brock!). She takes them up to the farmhouse where they find Sunflora with their faces locked in a miserable rictus of mock-happiness as they water the berries. Piplup rushes up to the water pump and asks a Sunflora if it can pump the water, which impresses Marill which makes Piplup delighted and oh my God what is going on here what are we looking at!?!

So far this is a pretty goddamn freaky-deaky episode!

They move on through the orchard and Piplup sprays all over some berries (good GOD THIS EPISODE!) as Marill does the same. But then an Elekid bursts in and zaps the fuck out of Piplup, poking his fat little belly like a jerk while the twerps just stand around talking about how Elekid is a jerk that keeps popping around to fuck with Marill. Piplup wakes up and wants to fight but gets its ass zapped again, so Pikachu rushes in to save the day. Dawn calls it back though, saying Piplup wants to prove itself to Marill.... and he proceeds to prove that he can get his ass kicked by Elekid!

Mocking Piplup, Elekid disappears back into the orchard as Piplup struggles back to its feet and Dawn.... gives Brock and Pikachu a show while Ash completely fails to understand what it is that he is seeing.



Brock belatedly decides to tell Dawn that Piplup was at a massive type disadvantage, then joins Dawn in telling Piplup all about how he fucked up and failed to impress Marill (nice guys, real nice) and then Piplup remembers its dream where it tried to save Dawn from Raikou.... only now Raikou is Elekid.

I FUCKING TOLD YOU IT WAS A WET DREAM!

Brock suggests that Elekid might have an ulterior motive for attacking Marill, and that ulterior motive was that it wants to bone Marill. Dawn isn't sure at first till Brock points out that when Elekid initially attacked Marill, its electric attacks weren't actually connecting and this may be an awkward and childish way of getting her attention because he likes her. Dawn thinks he may be on to something, but Ash stupidly shoves his head into frame to declare that Elekid is just lousy at using his own moves, leaving Dawn and Brock to sigh over his complete ineptitude.... and even Pikachu can't believe how retardedly stupid he is.

Next Lulu shows them a surprisingly large section of Lum Berries, which is a rare berry that Lulu's parents are putting together as an experiment. Watching from high above the orchard up in the hills is Team Rocket, and Jesse (with a little prompting from James and Meowth) finally realises that there is money to be had in stealing those berries.

That night as Piplup plays with Marill in an attempt to get closer to her, Lulu goes to do a check on the orchard and hears a strange noise, turning her flashlight onto.... a Sunflora?



Oh God it's a mutant!

Stupidly, Lulu thinks it is a real Sunflora and tells it to relax. It runs away into the orchard and waits for Lulu to disappear before calling in Jesse and James, who are enjoying crawling along the ground as it reminds them of their Team Rocket training days. As they pick berries, they tell "pseudo-Sunflora" to help them as well. Meowth insists that he is lulling the twerps into a false sense of security, and James snaps that he'll lull Meowth with his fist. Meowth sighs that he'll do it, but violence won't solve any of James' problems!

Inside the house, Marill’s ear jerks (Piplup is probably jerking something else in another room) and she gets up out of the bed she shares with Lulu and pops out the window. Sharing a bed with Dawn (just not in the way it wants to), Piplup wakes up and steps outside as well, pumping some water and splashing his face to wake himself up properly. Marill rushes up to him and grabs him by the paw, making him blush happily before being hauled away deeper into the orchard.

Inside the orchard, Elekid is strutting along whacking bushes with a stick just because he's a jerk when he spots Marill and Piplup rush by hand in hand, enraging him. He snaps his stick in two and follows as Marill and Piplup confront Team Rocket and blast off Meowth's disguise. Piplup prepares to blast the entire team, but his Whirlpool is zapped by Elekid who gets between Team Rocket and Piplup. Furious, Piplup launches himself at Elekid and they begin throwing down, Marill jumping in as well and all three throwing punches until Jesse uses an extendable-arm to grab up Marill, making unlikely allies of Piplup and Elekid who demand they release her. Meowth picks up that they're both desperate to bone her, making Elekid and Piplup blush, while Jesse takes advantage of love to convince them not to attack or risk hurting Marill. James sneaks up behind them and captures them in a sack, and they take off in the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon where Jesse gets just a little too into the whole concept of the love triangle and the concept of making the two of them compete for Marill’s affections till one wins love and the other is left rejected and out in the cold alone.



She begins cackling that nothing is more fun than another's pain as James ponders whether she ate a "bum lum berry".

Meanwhile, Dawn has woken up and found Piplup missing and wakes up the others. They head outside to look for Piplup and Marill and find the Lum Berries have been picked, and guess correctly that the two things are connected, and Ash sends out Gliscor and Staraptor to look for them.

Meanwhile, Piplup and Elekid can't keep from fighting each other even in their current state of peril. They begin throwing down again as James and Meowth try and tell them to stop and Jesse eggs them on.... and then things go horribly wrong as the Balloon explodes!

The balloon crashes down and Marill, Piplup and Elekid are knocked with a gleam of light down the mountainside and into the forest, and Team Rocket give chase because Jesse "wants her fun triangle back"!

Reaching the edge of a cliff in the forested base of the mountain, Piplup and Elekid grab Marill by the paws and try to pull her in different directions. Piplup insists they follow his lead, and takes them.... to an overhang of a cliff overlooking a huge drop down into the forest!

The next day, Staraptor has lead the twerps to the crashed balloons and found the sack of stolen Lum Berries. Meanwhile, Piplup and Elekid are throwing down once again after smacking each other in the sides as they walked. Finally breaking it up, they come to a ledge that Marill can't climb over, so Piplup goes and gets Marill a plank to climb up... but it drops to the ground halfway up. Elekid brings back a taller plank and Marill walks up that, thanking Elekid profusely at the top as Piplup is left to stare on miserably.

Next they come to a stream, and Marill and Piplup jump straight in leaving a hesitant Elekid on the bank. Marill convinces Piplup to let Elekid ride on his back, and they swim to the other side where Elekid jerkily but in good bonhomie slaps Piplup on the back. They climb a grassy hill, Marill in the lead and singing her own name happily.... and walk straight into Team Rocket.

Gliscor flies overhead on the wind and spots them, and returns to let the twerps know. They rush to the rescue.... but to be honest they're really not needed! The Pokémon are battering the shit out of Team Rocket! Furious, James calls out Carnivine and gets hugged/head swallowed in delight, but then joins with Yanmega in smacking Elekid and Piplup both down. They come back though with an attack on Carnivine and knock it backwards, high-fiving each other, but then Yanmega smashes them down with Hidden Power. NOW the twerps are needed, and now they arrive... just in time for Team Rocket's motto!

"A keen grasp of the obvious is the one thing you twerps can do well!"
"With all you goof up, it's easy to tell!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"Ain't we swell!"
"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace!"
"Dashing hope, bringing fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, our work is complete."
"With Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Meowth, dat's a name!"
"Putting you do-gooders in your place."
"We're Team Rocket!"
"And we're in your face!" they finish together.

Jesse insists this "third of the triangle" is hers, so Dawn has Piplup grow its beak long and repeatedly slam it between Jesse's legs (!), while Elekid blasts the fuck out of Yanmega. Brock decides this means that Elekid DOES like Marill, and Dawn correctly points out that this really isn't the time or the place to be bringing this up.

Yanmega has been paralysed by Elekid's attack, but Jesse has a plan, a good plan! She kept a Lum Berry and now she can use it to cure any Status Effect! So she takes the berry and.... eats it herself!

James and Meowth's reactions are only appropriate.



They roar at her that SHE isn't supposed to eat the berry (seriously, how did she think this was supposed to work!?!) and she blames them for not telling her. Grotle uses Razor Leaf to force Jesse to drop Marill, and Piplup tries to prevent Carnivine from re-grabbing her, only to be Sonic Boomed by Yanmega (I guess it got over the paralysis). Elekid blasts Carnivine over and gut kicks Jesse (ouch!) to save Marill (would it kill Marill to do something FOR HERSELF!?!) then grabs her by the paw and pulls her to safety. Grotle uses Energy Ball and sends Team Rocket blasting off, James sad he didn't even get green stained fingers from the Lum Berries while Meowth complains that Jesse at least got a green-stained gut.

And Piplup is the green-eyed monster when he sees Marill and Elekid giggling at each other.

Back at the farmhouse, Lulu thanks the twerps for saving the Lum Berries and getting rid of the thieves, and gives them a box of rare berries as a thank you. Elekid and Marill are clearly a couple now and Piplup is horrified, but puts on a proud penguin face when Brock tells him that he must get over the rejection... then miserably descends into dismay straight away.

They depart on their way, Brock telling Piplup to wave and be cherry even if his heart is breaking. He does just that, waving proudly and happily back at them.... and then going back to utter dejection and misery as his callous and cruel human "friends" are amused by it all.... and Ash still doesn't have a clue what the hell is going on.



Arriving at the next city, Dawn calls her mother to tell her she sent a "mystery" box of rare berries to her (presumably Ash did NOT send HIS mother anything) and learns a rather disturbing bit of news.... Dawn's Mother is going to be the Chairperson for the Twin Leaf Festival!

Oh snap!

BEST QUOTES

"But Pokémon like each other all the time, I don't get it!" "By standing guard I'll lull dose twerps into a false sense of security" "I'll lull you with my fist!"

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