ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
592: Frozen on Their Tracks!	598: Denryu Ressha! Hansamu Tojo!	Lookers Can Be Deceiving			The twerps' train breaks down and a weird detective uncovers a mystery	Use the best devices in the worst ways	Don't debut a new move till you know it works!

Today finds the twerps leaving Snowpoint City on the train to Lake Acuity for his upcoming battle with Paul. It's a wonderful scenic sight, apparently the snow only hangs around the city itself. But Ash is only thinking about his battle with Paul, he's so excited that he roars it out, scaring a passerby who falls on his ass. He gets up and picks up his pile of stuff that he dropped, it's packed lunches from the station... he likes them so much that he bought far too many and now he's just giving them out, to the twerps, to the trenchcoat wearing, hat having, masked faced trio sitting across from them with long purplish hair on the female and blue hair on the male and the third guy is a dwarf with whiskers and fur. The charitable lunchman introduces himself as Looker, who has a bizarre looking nose and eyes huge as the moon, and has been splurging on food because apparently he's out of his fucking gourd on drugs.

Team Rocket happily take the food and start chowing down, Looker has apparently given them away to everyone but he still has food left over and decides to go and give some lunches to the conductor, the engineer and the assistant Pokémon! He heads off to find them and the twerps follow, Ash keen to see the Electric Type that apparently helps run the train.

Oh dear, bothering the people whose job is to run the train? That's a good way to leave them....



The Assistant Pokémon is an Ampharos, which uses Thunderbolt to power up the train to get them up a steep incline. The twerps and Looker have entered the control room with a train official, because apparently wacked out druggies and small children should be allowed to just enter that area. Looker gives the food, while the Conductor spots a stop light ahead and brings the train to a halt.

Back further in the cabin, Team Rocket (yes, amazingly it was them all along!) are basking in post-food pleasure. They want to let their food settle, then go and steal Pikachu, and are irritated when the train stops.

Up in the cabin, the Conductor has received a report that there is no mechanical failure to have caused the red light to signal for a stop. The other train official decides to go take a look, and wacked out Looker suddenly gets a suspiciously suspicious look on his face and declares he wants to go along "for the walk". They head out, and the Conductor and Ampharos head out to let the passengers know what is going on.... LEAVING THREE SMALL CHILDREN ALONE IN THE CONTROL CABIN OF THE TRAIN!

Luckily rather than spastically flailing at all the pretty buttons, the twerps decide to step out of the train and feed their Pokémon out in the sun while they eat the meals Looker provided them.



Team Rocket aren't too pleased to see the twerps eating outside in the sun while they're stuck inside the train. Before they can go have a shot at them, though, the Conductor and his Ampharos step up to apologise for the delay and suggest they step out and get some air. Jesse angrily starts complaining that they were just about to go and steal the twerp's Pokém-at which point James and Meowth shut her the hell up.

Up at the crossing, Looker has noticed that the rust on the unused track has been worn away. The other train official returns to tell him that it seems the tracks were switched which caused the red light, but he doesn't know how or why it happened. He asks Looker to return to the train while he moves on to the next crossing to check... but after he leaves, Looker heads up the other track with fixed purpose in his noseless face and freaky eyes.

Completely oblivious to all this, Ash is wanting to get in some training ahead of his battle with Paul. But before he can, a suction pipe hauls up all of he, Dawn and Brock's Pokémon.... or rather, ALMOST all of them.

Mamoswine don't go nowhere unless it MEANS to go somewhere!

"What's going on!?!" demands the Conductor.
"One thing's for sure, it's certainly not you!" answers Jesse.
"You drive a train but look what we do!" laughs James from up in the balloon.
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"HA! GET A CLUE!" screams Meowth as they all tear their disguises away.
"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace!"
"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, our work is complete."
"Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Meowth, dat's a name!"
"Putting the do-gooders in their place."
"We're Team Rocket!"
"In your face!" they finish together, echoed by Wobbuffet and Mime Jr.

They've sucked up all the Pokémon but Mamoswine (and Grotle!) into a large vacuum sack (snicker) and start flying up into the air to make their escape after taking FAAAAR too long to gloat. Ampharos uses Signal Beam to blast a hole in the sack, but as the Pokémon leap clear, Meowth fires a secondary net that captures Pikachu, Piplup and Happiny. Ampharos leaps up onto the net and blasts at their remote control, missing it and hitting the balloon, sending Team Rocket blasting off... with the Pokémon! The twerps rush off in pursuit, and when the Conductor cries out that it is too dangerous, Brock tells him to go find the Conductor.

Wait... I thought the fat dude WAS the Conductor? What with all that train conducting he was doing earlier! From now on we'll just call him and his train buddy Lean and Lard.

Meanwhile, Looker has followed the tracks to some kind of mining shack, while elsewhere in the forest Ampharos frees Pikachu, Piplup and Happiny. They head off into the forest, leaving behind an indignant Team Rocket who shout too much and cause their balloon to fall out of the tree it trapped them in.... right on top of them!

The twerps have had no luck finding their missing Pokémon even with Staraptor flying about, so Dawn and Brock call out Sudowoodo and Buneary... for some reason. Apparently they think they can help. Somehow.

The four missing Pokémon have come to a four way intersection in the forest path, and the moment's hesitation is all Piplup needs to take control and confidently lead Happiny deeper into the forest down one path. Pikachu and Ampharos watch them go with some trepidation... and moments later Piplup returns having apparently had second thoughts!

Those second thoughts being fear for its life from attack by three Fearows! It charges by dragging a delighted Happiny after it, and the Fearows dodge Pikachu and Ampharos' attacks and cause them to run to. They find Piplup and Happiny at the edge of a cliff, and have no choice but to leap off of the side as the Fearow fly directly overhead, apparently only able to go in a straight line. Ampharos caught a ledge slightly below the edge of the cliff and the others caught its tail, so they're safe for the time being.

Meanwhile, Lard has contacted Lean at the next crossing where he has ascertained that it is safe. Now Team Rocket's actions have been reported to him though, he has a whole other problem to deal with.

Meanwhile meanwhile, the Pokémon have found a large round rock blocking their path. Pikachu can't push it out of the way, Ampharos can't batter through it, and Piplup has a fucking fit trying to smash its way through and getting increasingly angry as it fails. Finally Happiny delightedly takes matters into its own hands.... paws.... paw!

It begins spinning the rock around (Piplup still attached!) then throws it up into the air (Piplup no longer attached!) and it crashes back down into the river beside them. Piplup and Happiny head off together side by side, and Pikachu and Ampharos share a bemused look and head off after them.

Looker has entered the shack and found a map showing the tracks go into Lake Acuity. He puts on a pair of odd goggles (Looker is a WEEEEEIIIRRRDDDDDD dude!) and follows some tracks that come up in his vision till he finds some kind of identification mark that confirms his suspicions of who is behind all this.

While the odd drug-abused super detective is uncovering clues, Team Rocket has returned to basics... they dug a hole! A now exhausted Piplup continues to stubbornly "lead" the other Pokémon forward, walking right over the trap. They all fall in, and Team Rocket throw a blanket over them and tie a knot around it, attaching it to a stick! The blanket is apparently electric proof, and a delighted Team Rocket prepare to head off... until they discover it isn't Staraptor proof!



Don't you just hate it when that happens?

The twerps arrive to reunite with their Pokémon as Meowth hastily explains to Jesse that the fabric was only rip-proof FROM THE INSIDE!

Why didn't they wrap up the Pokémon with it inside-out?

Regardless of that, Team Rocket send in their Pokémon to fight, and Sudowoodo insists on being the one to deal with them.... by punching them both in the fucking face with Hammer Arm! It's a brand new move and Brock is proud... only it doesn't put them down for the count, and Pikachu has to save the day with Volt Tackle... and that IS a one-shot KO that sends Team Rocket blasting off again!

A slightly abashed Sudowoodo thanks Pikachu after its brand new fancy move kind of turned out not to be that great. The twerps return to the train where Lean and Lard have only just reunited themselves as the sun sets. Just then they realise Mr. Looker has disappeared, except he returns giggling that he got sidetracked by the wonderful scenery. Everyone laughs because they think the dude was wacked the fuck out of his brains on drugs. But there's more to him that that... just who the hell IS Mr. Looker?

The train moving once again, Ash once again loudly celebrates his upcoming battle with Paul. He is overheard by Looker, who tells him to enjoy his youth (....weird dude, that Looker) and steps outside to put in a call to his people, revealing that Looker is a codename, and also exactly what was on the identification he found while following the tracks.



Ohhhhhh shiiiiiiiit!

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