ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
587: Battling a Cute Drama!	593: Cherinbo! Kenage na Batoru!?	Sado-Marilynistic			The twerps meet a freaky pre-teen sadist and Brock tries to teach her a lesson	All their Pokemon are ugly?	It's not about how cute your Pokemon are, it's how sexually satisfied you get by watching them in pain.... wait, what?

Today finds the twerps moving through an underground tunnel that will bring them out near Shelter Town, which is their next stop on the way to Snowpoint City. When they emerge, they find themselves in "snow country" just south of "Bat Country" (they can't stop here!) - it's cold, drafty and there is snow everywhere.

They head down to Shelter Town, which is sure to feature all manner of drama, cute Pokémon, and other distractions to keep them from getting to Ash's next Gym Battle. The twerps will embrace this distraction, of course, but sometimes we wish we would see more...



They stop at the Pokémon Centre, and Dawn asks Nurse Joy if there is a package there from her hometown. There isn't, but Joy promises to let her know if it shows up, so Dawn calls out Buneary for a brushing.... and unleashes the cute drama!

Oh dear. Thems some big eyes.

She squeezes Buneary WAAAAY too much, then realises that she's gone a little overboard and introduces her to the twerps. Her name is Marilyn and she can't resist cuteness, in fact she is sure that the twerps all believe that the cuter a Pokémon is, the better! Brock replies that cuteness isn't everything but Marilyn insists it is, and has her attributes all sorted out - no evolution, less than 2 feet tall - and Dawn asks her what she thinks of Piplup. Her reply? Not cute! It doesn't matter that it hasn't evolved or is less than 2 feet tall, it has a head "shaped like a bowling ball", an "annoying beak" and "eyes like mud pies,"!

Poor Piplup.

Dawn is upset but Marilyn insists she smile, calling her Dawny. Dawn replies angrily that her name is Dawn, but Marilyn claims that Dawny is much cuter and thus, this is now her name!

Before Dawn knows what she's done, she has furiously agreed to a match against a delighted Marilyn, who skips away happily leaving Dawn seething while Team Rocket watch from outside through the window.

They head into an empty gym where Dawn calls out Buneary and Marilyn goes over all moony again until Brock - acting as Judge - reminds her she has to call out her Pokémon, and out comes Cherubi. Ash checks it out with his Pokedex while Team Rocket are smeared against the sky light in the roof watching as well, and Meowth is utterly, ridiculously convinced that giving Cherubi to the Boss will result in delight and promotion.



Oh God. Oh God no!

As Team Rocket celebrate (and feel the icy blast of the wind), inside the gym Brock is trying to convince Marilyn to actually take part in the battle rather than stand giggling over the cuteness of her Pokémon. She tells Dawn to go ahead and attack since she's so busy looking at Cute Cherubi. Dawn accepts and sends in Buneary with Dizzy Punch to slap Cherubi around, causing it to fall on its ass and Marilyn to.... proclaim it was the cutest fall she ever saw!

Dawn, getting more than a little pissed now, tells Buneary to use Ice Beam and Cherubi uses Protect, squealing in pain as Marilyn giggles over how cute it is. Dawn is horrified at her reaction but then Brock steps into the middle of the match, insisting that if Cherubi uses Protect then it shouldn't be feeling any pain at all, meaning it is putting it on, and if they're not going to battle correctly there is no point in battling at all.

Suddenly Marilyn isn't so sickeningly cute anymore, snapping at Brock that the battle is "just getting interesting" and telling him to keep out of it. She insists that they have to keep battling because the fight is sure to be the most valiant the world has ever seen!

The most valiant that the world has ever seen? the twerps all ask together, and Marilyn goes over all melodramatic amidst an imaginary field of flowers as she insists that a Pokémon that takes a beating but continues to fight on is valiant and that makes her all "warm and tingly inside"

Oh! Oh my!

Cherubi seems to be playing up to this, rushing towards her squealing in pain and constantly falling over, but Brock has had enough. He storms forward pointing at her and tells her she is acting inappropriate, at which point she spreads her legs widely in front of him, thrusts out her chest, throws back her head and moans that she isn't, really!



Oh! Oh dear!

Brock insists that in a Pokémon Battle, the competitors battle to the best of their ability or else they don't battle at all. She grunts that he sounds like an old geezer, but he insists that if she won't battle back then he will disqualify her, and she responds by.... having Cherubi kick the shit out of Buneary!

It hammers Buneary repeatedly, finishing things off with a full blast Solar Beam directly to Buneary's face. Buneary is left standing staggered and faint, and Marilyn gasps that now it seems more valiant than ever... and she wants to see that valiant spunk!

Oh God.

But then Buneary faints and she moans that she overdid and now it isn't as valiant anymore!

Bitch be crazy.

As Marilyn celebrates with Cherubi over their victory, Brock glares at her and wonders if "that is all there is" and then insists to himself that no it isn't! Meanwhile, up on the roof Meowth is reminding Jesse and James that they have no dough to make up a robot to capture Cherubi. They come up with another idea though, they'll have one of their cute Pokémon get her into a false sense of security and then steal Cherubi, and James has the perfect Pokémon.... Carnivine!

As it tries to devour his head, Jesse and Meowth converse amongst themselves and decide to use Mime Jr, since that it more likely to make Marilyn delighted and less likely to sink its fangs into the soft meat of her brain.

Marilyn is leaving the gym considering having lunch when "Jesserilyn" (haha) arrives in a horribly unflattering dress and asks her to battle her cute Pokémon, and sends out Mime Jr.... which fails Marilyn's cuteness test due to its red nose! She heads away telling Jesserilyn maybe another time, leaving behind a horrified Mime Jr... and it’s even more horrified daddy!

He hauls the surprised, squirming Mime Jr up and hugs it tightly, while in the Pokémon Centre Ash and Dawn are saying they don't understand Marilyn's mindset.... but Brock is even more infuriated, he insists that cuteness alone is not the overriding important factor for a Pokémon, but rather the bond between trainer and Pokémon! And as a result, to teach Marilyn this lesson he means to battle her himself!

Just one problem. He got some ugly ass Pokémon.

An undetermined amount of time later, Marilyn is sneeringly inspecting his Sudowoodo and Croagunk (ahahahaha) while Dawn and Ash point out that if Piplup failed Marilyn's "cuteness test", what chance do either of Brock's Pokémon stand? Brock insists they're both cute though (ahaha, Croagunk? Really?) but Marilyn insists that none of them are cute enough, so Brock hesitantly admits he does have another Pokémon but it hasn't had a single battle yet - and brings out Happiny.

Oh dear, Marilyn loves the strong baby a little too much, hugging it and rubbing her cheek against it. Brock insists that Sudowoodo and Croagunk get a chance as well, he wants a 3 on 3 battle, and while a hesitant Marilyn agrees, James suddenly comes by in "disguise" shouting out that he's a Pokémon Ref for hire, just a wandering Pokémon Ref looking to be hired on by chance in this snowy, cold Pokémon Centre in the middle of nowhere. Only an idiot would fall for such a ridiculous scheme.

A very short time later, James is reffing the Marilyn/Brock match!

Goddamn kids.

Marilyn sends out Cherubi first and Brock sends in Sudowoodo with Double Edge, and Marilyn is excited by Cherubi's pain, causing Brock to shout out at her that she needs to stop being so obsessed with the cuteness and "valiant" nature of her Pokémon. When she replies that this is geezer talk, he decides to show her by having Sudowoodo use Mimic and False Tears to emulate Cherubi's stagger before falling under the spotlight and weeping sadly. Marilyn in enthralled, and that's when things get weird, as Brock and Marilyn sweep around each other with glittery eyes and a blowing wind as they gasp about the valiant nature of their Pokemon.

Goddamn kids.

She "awards" Sudowoodo 200 points but mentions that it still gets a zero for cuteness, while a confused Ash and Dawn watch from the sidelines. Dawn asks James to do something about this, and James mumbles to himself that he wants to see what other Pokémon are available to Marilyn and declares the match a tie. Thus both Pokémon are recalled and Croagunk comes out against.... Chingling.

The bizarre, "Pacman and a Jester had sex" Pokémon comes out against the even more bizarre "Peter Lorre is a Pokémon now apparently", and Croagunk beats seven shades of shit out of Chingling as Marilyn bites on her towel in nervous appreciation (and that "warm tingly feeling" the lunatic describes). Finally she has Chingling come back with Growl, then Confusion to blast the hell out of Croagunk. James prepares to call the match over, but Brock insists that Croagunk can come back from this, and shit gets even weirder as we get a callback to Rocky of all things, as Mickey Brock tells Croagunk to "get up Rock, ya lousy bum ya!"



Marilyn watches the heavily outlined/cross-hatched Pokémon/Trainer combo work together and Brock insists that any Pokémon is valiant no matter their looks. James orders the match to continue and Croagunk uses Brickbreak to knock out Chingling, and the second battle is over. Marilyn tells Brock that he's still an old geezer but she is "hearing" him now, and now it is time for the final battle. James (and Jesse and Meowth watching from the skylight) are eager to see how cute her final Pokémon is, but she takes a quick time-out to return her three Pokeballs to her bag and take out a fourth. She tells them that this was her first Pokémon and the one she always considered the cutest, but other people mocked her for this and so she started looking for Pokémon that other people considered cute. Now, though, Brock's words have shown her the way, and she calls out her cutest of all Pokémon.



Ahahahahaha!

Jesse and Meowth are horrified, while Marilyn gleefully asks if they think Shellder has the cutest tongue ever? Ash wonders if Brock really "got in there" (no, he never has and never will) and Brock sends in Happiny for its first ever battle... at which point Jesse and Meowth lower themselves in on ropes, laughing at Marilyn for "thinking" that the Boss would be happy with a Shellder.... oh Team Rocket.

And then James whips off his pants!

He's grabbed Marilyn's Pokeballs, and Team Rocket take off at a run, but Shellder catapults itself through the air with a blast of water right into Team Rocket, knocking them into the wall with enough force to create a giant hole as the Pokeballs drop back into Marilyn's hands. Shellder freezes Team Rocket with Ice Beam and then Happiny sends them blasting off again, Jesse insisting that at least she is still the cutest.

Marilyn hugs Shellder which stares up at her with big wobbly eyes of happiness that she is actually giving it attention again, and Brock declares that it looks like he got through to her at last.

But.... she still has severe mental issues and enjoys watching Pokémon in pain!

Regardless, the battle is apparently over now, and they all return to the Pokémon Centre where Dawn's package has arrived. Her mum obviously figured they would be cold in the snowy conditions they will be exposed to, and sent warm clothes for all of them. They put them on, and there you have it, a parent actually showed a level of forethought and concern about her homeless, drifting, backpacking 10 year old daughter and her two unattached, jobless male friends!

But would it have killed her to send Dawn some pants?

BEST QUOTES

"I wonder if Brock really got in there after all?"

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