ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
577: Another One Gabites The Dust!	582: Pokémon Kontesuto! Akebi Taikai!	Dawn vs Crazy Lolita-Girl			May goes for her Fourth Contest Ribbon and gains a new (crazy) rival	A loss.... but getting better without cheating!	A loss is actually a victory... if you're insane

Today finds Dawn training Pachirisu for the Chocovine Contest while Brock and Ash watch on.... and Mamoswine sleeps in the shade of a tree. The Contest is tomorrow, Dawn wants her fourth Contest Ribbon, but she has to remember, there are a bunch of other contestants in there too and they're all hoping they won't just be....



Grammatically my little run-in to the title makes no sense at all!

Pachirisu is all tuckered out so Dawn pulls out her sack (GETCHA MINDA OUTTA DA GUTTA!) and Pikachu joins the other Pokémon in cavorting about under her skirt to get a look at her poffins (DA GUTTA!). She tells them to all line up to eat, but then Mamoswine bursts in and knocks her flying, all the poffins flying through the air and into its gaping maw before it waddles away. The other Pokémon catch Dawn and she promises to make them more (and in no way attempts to discipline Mamoswine) but then Pachirisu spots one stray poffin on the ground and rushes to it.... only for a Gabite to stomp it and growl menacingly down at the tiny little Pachirisu. Pachirisu for its part isn't intimidated by the monstrosity and looks ready to throw down, but then with a tinkle of overexposed light a little girl calls out to it to stop and minces her way on screen, recognised from a distant rooftop by a spying Jesse, checking out the competition through her binoculars.

She recognises the girl from "somewhere" before, and as she tries to place the face, Dawn fails to grab Pachirisu before it can learn a new move - Super Fang! - and stab at Gabite. The girl is upset that Pachirisu is attacking her Gabite for no reason and when Dawn tells it to play nice it Static Shocks her, causing the girl to claim it isn't trained very well. Dawn - surprisingly taking this insult in stride - tells the girl to check the underside of Gabite's foot, but when she sees the smashed poffin her horror isn't at her Gabite stomping the food but that her Gabite has been "soiled".

Yeah, this girl ain't going to be a new buddy.

Ash tries to explain that Pachirisu loves poffins while the Pokémon itself pouts angrily, so the girl rather arrogantly makes amends by offering a poffin of her own to Pachirisu. It sniffs it and turns it nose up, and Brock tries to assuage things by saying variations in recipes for poffins mean different Pokémon like different poffins. The girl notices Piplup and something clicks, she remembers Dawn now from the Wallace Cup, and tells her she thinks her victory was a complete fluke. Dawn asks if she took part too, and indeed she did..... her name is Ursula and she somehow manages to sound arrogant as she tells Dawn she won't remember her since she was knocked out in the first round!

And that's when Jesse remembers! And we see a hilarious flashback of Dawn celebrating her win before the camera zooms back to the assembled loser trainers, including a furious Ursula! HA!

Ash is REALLY pissed off at Ursula suggesting that Dawn was "allowed" to win and Ursula immediately proclaims that it is because of Dawn winning that she has redoubled her training ability and begins cackling like mad because.... little bitch is crazy.... really crazy! Jesse-levels of crazy!

And THAT'S crazy!

It seems Ursula has 3 ribbons too. She rather cattily tells Dawn that she looks forward to seeing her graceful moves, cackles madly and heads away with Gabite. Watching from the rooftop, Jesse is delighting at their burgeoning rivalry, believing if they're concentrating on each other it will give her the chance to ride in to victory.

The next day the Contest begins! No delays or sidetracking here despite the arrival of a new Character Of The Day. The twerps are stuck in a corridor where Mamoswine has randomly decided to sleep, leaving Brock and Ash powerless to do anything. Backstage, Dawn and Ursula spot each other and glower - Ursula wearing a bizarre form-fitting outfit with a skirt pulled down BELOW her ass! I'm reliably informed this is "Lolita style", and the fact that this is even a thing fills my heart with despair, rage and terror - while up front Marian is introducing Mr. Contesta, Mr. Sukizo and..... the local Nurse Joy filling in the numbers as always.

The performance round begins with Dawn (of course) and Buneary, which bounces and uses Ice Beam to create an ice-spiral slide which it then slides happily down before flipping onto its ears and using Dizzy Punch to bounce back up to the top of the slide to finish the Appeal. Ursula watches from backstage and pretends not to be impressed, and then the next lot of Pokémon give their performances before Jesse comes out with Yanmega. It spins Silver Wind around her then glows green with Speed Boost and twists around Jesse lifting her slowly into the air before using a combination of Silver Wind and Sonic Boom to create sparkles as it catches her and lowers her slowly down in a happy pose. Mr. Contesta appears to be impressed with Jesse's figure and Sukizo and Nurse Joy follow suit, and then out comes Ursula with.... Wormadam!

Ugh. What a horrible Pokémon. Kill it.

Ursula uses lots of poses and orders Confusion and Rock Blast then Sandstorm to create..... a really boring fucking move. Backstage Jesse is "slightly impressed" and Dawn thinks it is simple but effective, but then Wormadam uses Confusion to make a Sandsculpture of itself and Captivate to finish things off for an impressive ending.

Ugh. What a horrible Pokémon. Kill it.

Dawn heads to rejoin the twerps where Mamoswine is still sleeping with a cheerleader pom-pom on its head, and they talk about the surprising quality of Ursula's performance. Ursula shows up and says that she has been knocked out time after time after the first round but this time will be different, and cackles madly as she heads off saying that it would be something if they were to face off.

Marion returns to announce the eight making it through to the next round, and it's.... Tuxedo Teen, Ursula, Upper Class Pimp, Shaggy Cravat, Nora the Boring Girl, Jesse, Mr. Soldier, and... Dawn!



The matches are randomly paired up with Dawn, Jesse and Ursula all avoiding having to fight each other.... yet. But if each wins, then Jesse and Ursula will have to face off with the winner to face Dawn! My pick is the batshit crazy girl who thinks she is better than she really is will be the one to face Dawn! Crazy I know, I just have their weird feeling about it.

Anyways, a musical montage follows with the previous series theme playing for some bizarre reason (with "It's the Battle Frontier!" replaced by "Let the battle begin!") as we see Jesse and Ursula eventually face off and.... Ursula wins, barely!

Haha, Carnivine gives no fuck!

Jesse throws a tantrum and Meowth knows that they are the ones who will suffer, while James is just impressed with Carnivine's fighting spirit and Wobbuffet is delighted even as he weeps. Dawn prepares to face off with Ursula while Mamoswine wakes up momentarily then goes back to sleep, ignoring Ash's delighted shout that it likes Dawn after all. Dawn sends out Pachirisu and Ursula sends out Gabite, which puts Pachirisu at a complete disadvantage in every aspect. Its only really viable move is the one it conveniently just learned - Super Fang!

What a stroke of luck!

Pachirisu uses the standard Spin and Dodge move to avoid Gabite but the fast Gabite slaps it out of the sky anyway. It Aerial Aces the fuck out of its Super Fang, knocking it all over the place and drastically taking away Dawn's points. Ursula is getting confident, Aerial Acing through Sweet Kiss and taking away Dawn's points while losing relatively few of her own. Mamoswine watches it all through one open eye, while Dawn forces herself to stay calm and takes advantage of Ursula's confidence by Discharge blasting Stone Edge out of the air and making Pachirisu look good. There are less than 2 minutes left and Ursula sighs as she brings out the big guns with Dragon Rage and Pachirisu..... holy shit!



HOLY SHIT!

Gabite comes in with Dragon Claw but Pachirisu blocks with its.... tail!?! Thanks to the stored discharge in its tail it survived and the bravery of the move makes it look great. Ursula tries Stone Edge again, and again Pachirisu shatters the stones, and now Ursula is getting pissed, ordering another Dragon Rage which Pachirisu spins through and delivers Super Fang to Gabite's blocking arms just as time runs out and.... Dawn wins!

As she hugs Pachirisu in delight, Ursula mutters that it's "saved by the bell." The crazy bitch congratulates Gabite while Ash rushes over to Mamoswine which actually woke up to watch the end of the match, telling the surprised woolly mammoth that this is what battling is all about.

And then it goes back to sleep.

Up in the crowd, Jesse says she may have lost but she's glad they came because she's "growing as an artist" (learned some new moves to rip off!), while down on stage Dawn is presented with the Chocovine Ribbon - her fourth ribbon!



The twerps leave after the contest noting that Dawn is now one ribbon away from the Grand Festival. They spot Ursula, crazy bitch telling them she won't get any compliments from her but she guesses Dawn did kind of a good job maybe and then heads away. Ash could care less though; because the contest is over and now it's time to get to his next Gym Battle!

BEST QUOTES

"Pikachu can't get enough of your poffins, Dawn!" "The poor angry loser of a dear."

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