ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
512: Dawn's Early Night!	517: Pokémon Kontesto! Yosuga Taikai!	Dawn is a Loser			Dawn competes in another Contest and blows it.	Officially better than a twerp!	It doesn't matter whether you win or lose if you lose. If you win then it REALLY matters!

Today's pre-episode teaser starts with Pachirisu and Buizel displaying their talents at a contest, then "Jesselina" dancing with Mime Jr. and Cacnea before a Glameow (Zoey's presumably) claws through water. It's Contest Time, and Ash and Brock will be hoping tonight isn't going to be....



With an unseen clip show behind them, the twerps jog through the streets of Hearthome towards the Hearthome Gym, Staravia flying ahead, Ash chasing, Dawn and Brock struggling to keep up. But as they run, they find Nando the Spanish Bard standing in front of the door, strumming his harp and lightly singing that the Gym is closed. Ash collapses to his knees in horror, then looks up at a truly bizarre Pokémon, perhaps one of the most bizarre yet.



Seriously... what the fuck? Is that a handlebar moustache?

Brock asks if Nando is here for a Gym Battle too, and Nando admits it, saying he planned to team with the bizarre insectile Pokémon - Kricketune. But the gym is closed, the Leader having left a note saying they are "going on a journey for quite some time, don't come looking."

Well, that's kind of a dick move.

Ash screams that he is going to explode, but Nando suggests that in the meantime he might consider taking part in the Hearthome Tag Battle - a famous tradition in Hearthome that draws Trainers from around the world. Ash is excited at the concept and asks Brock if they can team up, and Brock squeezes his fist shut and agrees that he really, desperately needs a good.... battle. They ask Nando if he means to compete too, but he explains that as the Gym Leader is not available, he intends to concentrate on the Hearthome Pokémon Contest instead, freaking out Dawn who forgot to register.

Jesus Christ Dawn, it's the ONE thing you have to do!

Dawn and Nando walk away, Nando's crotch bulging and waggling about disconcertedly as they chat. Nando still has only one Contest Ribbon, as does Dawn herself, but both are confident of adding a second. As they walk through the stalls set up for visiting Coordinators/Trainers, Dawn spots Zoey sitting at a table with her Shellos in her lap and Glameow and Misdreavus sitting un-hygienically on the table. She brings Nando over to Zoey and asks her how her leg is, and then Nando introduces himself, explaining that he is a Coordinator AND Trainer, which sets off Zoey's elitist radar. She growls that Nando should learn to make a choice and he calmly returns that the choice is for him and his Pokémon. She doesn't agree with the notion of an individual's choice at all, and Dawn starts freaking out - her two potential fallback friends if this whole Ash/Brock things doesn't work out aren't getting on!

But Jesse IS getting on famously well with Seviper and Dustox, dressed up in her Jesselina costume and running happily in circles as an aghast James and Meowth watch on. They're surprised at how.... happy.... Seviper and Dustox seem to be, but Jesse is happily egging them on to rush about her in circles until suddenly she just mutters under her breath,"Okay cut the love-fest, you're both fired."

Meowth is shocked (Dustox and Seviper aren't entirely happy either!) but Jesse grunts that it's time for them to pay for her last loss. She grabs Mime Jr. from James and dances about with that instead. James and Meowth are horrified, but they also know that she needs two Pokémon for this contest, and Jesse insists that she'll find one all right, causing James and Meowth to step back in horror and James to shove a finger into Wobbuffet's mouth.

Well.... okay then!

That night in the Pokémon Centre, Dawn has out her Pokémon out for inspection. Ash and Brock step up and tell her she's come a long way, and she says she is nervous as this is her first Double Pokémon Performance. Zoey shows up and tells Ash she's sorry to hear about the Gym being unavailable, but he notes that he's getting to fight in the Tag Battle anyway so it's all good - he gets to break shit! He tells Zoey he wishes her luck in the Contest, and she teases the poor stupid boy by pointing out that if she wins, Dawn loses, and Ash freaks out trying to think of a way to wish them both luck without offending the other.

Dawn thanks Zoey for the advice she gave her in a previous episode, assuring Zoey that she is sure to look good now, and Zoey notes that Dawn has the wrong focus, the Contest is about the Pokémon, not the Coordinator. Dawn looks taken aback, and Zoey takes her by the shoulders, leans forward and-

....one million creepy fanboys lean forward in their seats and begin unbuckling their jeans with one hand...

-tells Dawn that she just needs to focus on her Pokémon.

....one million creepy fanboys sigh in disappointment... but don't rebuckle their jeans....

The next day, Miriam welcomes the crowd and explains the rules for the Double Contest, watched from backstage by Dawn and Zoey, until Jesse slides herself in-between them and-

....they lean forward....

-asks Dawn if she's ready to give the contest her all.

....they lean back....

Nando watches the three girls standing together and notes to himself that sparks are sure to fly. On stage, the Judges are introduced and then the first round begins with Nando coming out first, calling out Sunflora and Kricketune to dance in a musical backdrop.



The crowd are delighted, and Nando plays his harp as the two Pokémon "sing" and "play music" using their leaf and creepy spike feelers. Even Zoey is impressed by the musical performance, noting that they're showing off like only a bard could, and Nando truly deserves to be called a Coordinator. The music ends and the crowds cheer as the Judges comment. Next a series of nameless, faceless Coordinators come out with their Pokémon to make up the numbers and then have their dreams dashed, while backstage Zoey tells Dawn that Hearthome is one of the top Contests attracting the best talent. Dawn proclaims that makes it great practise for the Grand Festival, but Zoey warns "One Ribbon" Dawn not to get too far ahead of herself. Dawn's reaction is her usual one - no need to worry!

Dawn comes out next wearing her Spanish Senorita dress, and calls out Piplup and Pachirisu. Pachirisu uses Sweet Kiss and Piplup catches the hearts in Bubbles before a Discharge/Whirlpool combination creates a wide spout of water with electricity crackling around it before it bursts into a thin mist that rains down over the arena.... Dawn's gone and done good! Except, watching at home, Dawn's mother seems.... unimpressed.

Jesselina comes out next with Mime Jr. and Cacnea. Mime Jr. emulates every move Cacnea makes. Jesselina calls for Tickle but to her surprise Mime Jr. takes her at her word and runs up to tickle her, and Cacnea figures what the hell (you would too!) and joins in! Jesse spins about giggling out of control, but the crowd thinks it's part of the act and cute, as does Miriam. Ash, Brock and Pikachu, however, do not, Ash muttering that it's "creepy".

Cacnea uses Pin Missile and Mime Jr. mimics to end the performance with a massive fireworks display, and the Judges are impressed, believing Jesse deliberately showcased both power, love and joy in her performance.

Up next is Zoey, who runs out in her androgynous pantsuit and has Glameow use Iron Tail in rapid succession against Shellos' Mudbomb. Glameow uses Secret Power and Shadow Claw together to literally cut shards of light through the air, and then Shellos sends out a spiralling Water Pulse that Glameow leaps through, then slices through so mist rains down on the proud posing Glameow and Shellos.

Backstage, Dawn thanks Pachirisu and Piplup for their efforts and tells Buneary - which she is brushing - that it will do just as well in the second round. Piplup is suitably proud, Buneary is just enjoying getting brushed, Buizel looks irritated and Pachirisu could give a fuck, it has a Poffin to eat! Ash and Brock step up to tell her how well she did, while in the background Buizel continues to just look pissed off for absolutely no reason.

Dawn eagerly tells them that she feels great and that second ribbon is hers for sure, she and Zoey will be in the final two for sure! Zoey chuckles and tells her again not to get too far ahead of herself, they haven't been confirmed through the first round yet. Jesse stands off to the side grinning to herself that they can fantasise all they want.... SHE is going to make it all the way to the Final.

Then Miriam appears on the big screen to announce who have made their way through to the Second Round, and they appear on the screen. And of course, Dawn has....



Dawn has......... NOT MADE IT! JESSE GETS HER SPOT!



AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dawn is shocked, and Nando and Zoey sympathetic, while at home Dawn's mother and her horrible bouffant hairdo are unsurprised, saying that sometimes these things happen. Jesselina slaps Dawn on the shoulder and laughs that Dawn was good so she shouldn't feel bad, it's just that Jesselina was better! She then squeaks with laughter and skips away, leaving Dawn behind wallowing in self pity. Brock and Ash try to cheer her up by reminding her how in synch she was with her Pokémon, and she angrily demands to know why she lost then, and they reply by saying,"....uhhhhh...."

Nice one guys.

An irritated looking Zoey snaps at Dawn for being upset (easy for her to do, she made it through to the second round!) and Dawn snaps back it is fine. Piplup tries to say something but Dawn shouts that it's FINE and then realises she just screamed in the face of a small cuddly penguin and rushes off in tears. Ash moves to follow, but Zoey stops him, saying Dawn just needs to be alone at this time that all of her hopes and dreams have come crushing down; she's discovered that doing your best sometimes isn't good enough; and she's running directly for a balcony at least one story up.

Wow, Zoey's a bitch!

The Second Round begins, with Nando facing off against Jesselina and kicking her ass all over the stage to make it to the Finals. James and Meowth watch from their seats with concern, she was no match for him, which means they'll be no match for her when she reunites with them.

Dawn sits back in the locker room, having changed back into her size 0 skirt. She hears a noise and sees Piplup approaching, and picks it up and carries it out to rejoin the twerps and her other Pokémon in time to hear that it's Nando against Zoey in the Final.

That night, Ash and Brock are on the videophone with Dawn's mother, and we discover that Zoey lost to Nando (so much for making a choice, Zoey! You got beaten by a TRAAAAAINER!). Dawn's Mum says they must both be upset, but tells Ash and Brock not to get Dawn onto the phone, one of the nice things about travelling is that you make friends you can share thoughts, feelings and commiserations with instead of your mother.

Well yeah, but most mothers don't seek complete emotional detachment from their daughter by the age of 10.

Zoey tells Dawn that Nando was really something else, and she could never be a Coordinator AND a Trainer as well. Dawn tells her that at least she made it to the Second Round and Zoey snaps at her to cut it out, she didn't think she would make it either and when she's feeling down like that, she just hugs her Pokémon to feel better. Dawn realises that she has been wallowing, and they both laugh that there is "no need to worry", and they smile at each other and all their Pokémon as a smiling Ash and Brock step through the doorway to the balcony they're sitting on. Oh yes they're all just peachy-keen with losing because winning isn't the most important thing it's just doing your best and..... and.... and looking at Buizel's face, you can see what the Buizelster thinks of that bullshit... BROTHER!

BEST QUOTES

"Dawn you were really good!" "Remember you were in perfect synch with Pachirisu and Piplup the whole performance!" "Okay then why did we lose!?!" "....uhhhh...."

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