ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
509: Ill-Will Hunting!	513: Hanta Je Futatabi! Tatetopusu o Mamore!	Uncle and Nephew, Together Again!			The twerps bump into Gary and bump heads with Pokémon Hunter J.	Victorious whether they did anything or not!	If you're not getting paid, stop caring!

Today's pre-episode teaser begins with a tree falling in the forest, and as we are there to hear it, it does make a noise. A giant wheeled tank almost rolls over Team Rocket and then chases the twerps, some weird new Pokémon almost fall off a chasm until Ash catches them with a rope, Team Rocket get trapped in a secret base... and who is behind it all? Pokémon Hunter J!

Uh oh, she's back for revenge, it's....



The twerps are approaching Mount Coronet - the tallest peak in Sinnoh - when they encounter an odd little Pokémon, Shieldon. According to the unimaginative programmers of the Pokédex, the little puppyish Shieldon is a "Shield Pokémon", and it has a rounded "helmet" face that it apparently keeps polished by rubbing against rocks. Brock is appreciative, it's a rare Pokémon, but then a tree is torn down and a familiar six wheeled tank arrives on the scene – it’s Pokémon Hunter J's goons!

Ash immediately calls for a Thunderbolt but the hunter who emerged from the tank calls out a Golbat which dodges and knocks aside Pikachu with Wing Attack. Ash rushes to Pikachu as the hunter and his lackey stomps towards them, telling them they’re had it with the kids.... and then a massive burst of electricity smashes into him and the other man and sends them reeling. Where did it come from? From out of the bushes a familiar voice calls to Shieldon, and then stepping out with a giant lumbering Electivire in tow is... holy shit... IT'S GARY!

Ash asks what he's doing here, but Gary rightly points out that now isn't really the time to explain, and they cheese it out of there, leaving the hunters behind. Dawn runs alongside Brock, asking just who in the hell Gary is, and Brock explains, though he never brings up the fact that Gary is Ash's older nephew and that Gary's Grandfather is Professor Oak, currently at home pounding Ash's mother's ass on a daily basis.

Up above the clouds looking over Mount Coronet, Pokémon Hunter J sits in her flying craft admonishing the hunters on the ground who failed to capture Shieldon. They assure her that they will, and she tells them that they better bloody well had do!

Meanwhile, Gary is explaining to Ash that he's in Sinnoh doing Pokémon Research, and then greets Dawn, who is surprised to learn he knows her name. He explains that his Grandfather has told him all about her (oh Oak, you filthy old Lech you) and Brock explains that Gary's last name is Oak, Grandson of the famous Professor Oak. An enthralled Dawn asks to hear poetry from Gary, figuring like Grandfather like Grandson, and the normally cool Gary sweatdrops in alarm.

Luckily just at that point they arrive at a clearing where several Shieldon are waiting, happy helmet-headed puppies rushing up to greet the one Gary brought back. Gary settles down with his laptop and begins typing away, bringing up tons of windows with lots of scrolling text - pop-ups? Is Gary looking at porn? - and then up pops stern Professor Rowan, asking Gary what he wants.

Gary tells Rowan about the Pokémon Hunters and explains he's moving the Shieldon to a safer location on Mount Coronet. Rowan agrees to meet them at an agreed upon location, and as Ash asks Gary if they can help, they're all watched from the bushes by Team Rocket. James is keen to capture the Shieldon for the Boss, but Jesse and Meowth have a somewhat more grandiose plan in mind. Pokémon Hunter J only captures AAA rated rare Pokémon, and if they were able to capture her entire collection, Giovanni would be over the moon (AND Meowth would have revenge for their last encounter!).

Jesse, of course, has her priorities straight and ignores all that stuff about revenge and working for the Boss in order to point out that she's stronger than ever and far more beautiful than J could ever hope to be! Her happy insistence on her superiority comes to an end though as the rumbling of the tank shakes the forest, and they have to dart aside as it crashes down and heads straight for the twerps.

Gary shouts at Electivire to take the Shieldon to safety, and it scoops them all up and rushes away as Gary calls out Blastoise and has it blast the tank with water. Gary then shouts at Ash that they want Pikachu too (huh? How does he know that? The Hunters never say anything!) and Ash sees his chance for a little revenge of his own, calling for a Thunderbolt on the water-soaked tank. The tank comes to a stop, sparking with electricity, and the lead Hunter jumps out furious at the meddling kids getting in his way yet again. He sends out Golbat which knocks down Blastoise with one Wing Attack (that seems a little extreme) and Ash angrily yells that if it's a fight they want, it's a fight they'll get. But Gary calms him, pointing out that if they get into a knockdown dragout fight then the Shieldon could get hurt, and calls out Umbreon to use Sand Attack to stagger Golbat. Umbreon dodges Air Cutter and leaps through the air, the attack smashing into the trees and bushes and waking up the local gang of pissed off.... what else!?! Beedrill! They emerge and attack the Hunters as Gary calls back Blastoise and Umbreon and tells everyone else to run, and they disappear into the bushes.

James and Meowth huddle up together in the bushes (and Blueshippers delight) worried about the Beedrill, but Jesse is more eager to get after those Hunters and steal J's collection. She crawls across the ground, followed by a delighted Wobbuffet (you would be too if Jesse was crawling on all fours in front of you!) and the alarmed Meowth and James.

As the twerps run, Brock asks Gary if he knew that the Beedrill swarm were there. Gary explains he has been researching the area heavily, and figured that it made more sense to distract the hunters than get into a fight and cause damage to the pristine area. Ash grunts and moans like he's trying to hold in a shit, obviously pissed at himself for once again failing to live up to Gary's forethought.

Meanwhile, J's flying craft has landed, and J is in contact with the client who commissioned her to capture a Shieldon for him. She assures the bearded figure sitting in the shadows on her videoscreen that he'll have one by the end of the day, and he is delighted, asking if he can come and pick it up personally. She agrees, and after he goes off the line, she mutters that he "gets around" before one of her underlings (with terrible hair) tells her where their target is currently proceeding. She gives orders and tanks ride out of the craft to the ground, while Team Rocket hide behind a lousy bush prop watching and waiting, Jesse STILL on all fours and Wobbuffet still as patiently pleased to be behind her as ever.



Oh, like you wouldn't be.

They get onto their knees and begin gently pushing the lousy bush prop forward, Wobbuffet just shuffling along at full height behind them. Elsewhere the twerps and Gary are hiding in their own bushes watching the hunters, who have started surrounding them. Ash is determined to leap out and get into a knockdown drag out fight with ALL of them, but Gary insists that they need to be calm. Ash freaks out and insists he is going to do things his way, and Gary says it is that type of attitude that got the Shieldon in trouble in the first place. Ash is confused and angry (as are we all, as this wasn't the case at all) but the other twerps and even Pikachu insist that he listen to Gary, who gets onto his laptop to try and figure out an alternate route to meet up with stern Professor Rowan.

They end up moving along a thin mountain pass, hugging to the walls with ropes around their waists connecting them all up. Brock tells Dawn not to look down (while wishing he was beneath her looking up?), which inevitably causes one of the Shieldon to do so. It panics, loses its footing and drops over the edge, pulling all the other Shieldon with it since they're all connected by the rope. Ash grabs the rope and holds them in place dangling over the edge, Dawn grabbing the other end to stabilise them before Ash, Gary and Pikachu haul them back up.

As they move on, Team Rocket are walking through the steel corridors of J's flying base, which holds no pleasant memories for Meowth. As they continue along, Jesse suddenly pauses and begins posing in delight, cocking her hip and blowing a kiss happily into the air, telling a surprised James and Meowth that an actress always puts her best face towards the camera.

They look up in confusion and spot a camera looking right at her. They gasp in shock, it's not a movie camera, it's a security camera! A voice demands to know what they're doing (Wobbuffet looking happily about trying to figure out where the voice is coming from), so of course what else to do but launch into their motto!

"Is that one of my adoring fans I happen to hear!?!"
"I'd say it's a goon gabbing loud and clear!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!" cries James, though oddly enough he's standing before a cracking earth backdrop when he says it.
"Smack dab in yer ear!" cries Meowth, and then the motto is cut short by steel walls slamming down and block them off. They're horrified, they hadn't even finished! But the smug looking Hunter with horrible hair (and a bum fluff attempt at a goatee) from earlier mocks them over the microphone, telling them that they'll just have to sit still and wait for "Commander" J to return to tell him what to do with them.

J meanwhile has landed on ground on the back of her Salamence, asking her Hunters why they haven't found the twerps and the Shieldons yet. When they tell her they can't seem to find them, she wonders if they're tracking them somehow. She gets a report from her shaggy-haired lackey in the base over an approaching vehicle and figures they're going to rendezvous with the twerps and the Shieldons.

And indeed they are, Rowan has met up with Officer Jenny and they're coming now, Gary and the others just have to hold on a little bit longer. But then they notice one of the Shieldon is looking pretty knackered, and then J arrives on Salamence, sneering at them that she was able to find them by figuring out which way Rowan was heading. She demands they hand over the Shieldons, and Ash offers a counter of an ass-kicking!

He sends in Pikachu with Iron Tail, slamming it against J's gauntlet weapon as she raises her arm to protect herself. Ash has Gary and the others run out, leaving him to face J alone. Staggered back by the initial attack, she reacts quickly by calling out Drapion with Cross Poison. Pikachu is sent crashing backwards on its back to Ash's feet, and she tells him he can't beat her. Gary tells Brock and Dawn to get out with the Shieldons, he and Ash will handle J. Dawn wants to go with Gary, but Brock shakes his head, telling her that their job is to get the Shieldons to safety.

Gary sends in Blastoise but J comes back with Salamence's Hyperbeam, hitting Blastoise's Water Attack and sending up steam. As Brock and Dawn make their escape, one of the Shieldon's (the knackered one) slips and falls, banging off of rocks and crashing into the ground. J notes it and, almost indifferently, lifts her gauntlet and blasts it, freezing it in place. The twerps are horrified, Ash ordered Pikachu to Thunderbolt J directly (the gloves are off!), but J calls on Drapion to take the bullet for her... and it does so!

Gary tells Brock and Dawn to keep moving, while Ash tries to be dramatic and brave by telling J this time there is NO MERCY, he's going to put an end to all of her..... uhh... bad stuff!

He ALMOST had it there!

She tells him he has no idea what "no mercy" is, and orders a Pin Missile/Hyperbeam Combo. Pikachu Thunderbolts and Blastoise Hydropumps, but their attacks are overwhelmed and Ash, Gary, Pikachu and Blastoise are sent flying. J - professional to the end - forgets them immediately, turning to look at the frozen Shieldon and deciding it's time to go, she has what she needs.

Meanwhile Brock, Dawn and the Shieldons have reached the top of a cliff in time for Rowan and Jenny to show up and the cameraman to make a desperate attempt at an upskirt shot. They explain that one of the Shieldon were captured and Rowan and Jenny figure they have to find it... oh yeah, and Ash and Gary too!

Meanwhile Ash and Gary have followed J to the armoured tank where Shieldon's frozen form has been loaded up. They sneak underneath the tank and grab on, Ash blaming himself for doing everything wrong. But Gary insists it was his fault, he overestimated the strength and stamina of the Shieldon to make the trip to the rendezvous with Rowan, and that is why one of them was captured. Ash grins (perhaps because his cap and Pikachu are defying gravity on his head and shoulder respectively) and says there is no point in worrying, borrowing a line from Dawn's life philosophy.

J's lackeys tell her that the client is arriving soon, so she brings out the Shieldon and says they'll wait there for him. Ash calls out Staravia and quietly tells it to find Brock and Dawn, and it sneaks out from under the tank and flies away. The tank rides up the ramp into the base taking Ash, Gary and Pikachu with them, and Gary suggests their strategy for getting out is to provide a distraction then grab Shieldon. Ash grins that he is being reckless and Gary agrees with Ash, Ash is right! Gary thinks Ash is right!

My goodness me, never thought I'd see the day.

J looks up as her client's craft begins to descend towards them, but then an explosion rocks her base. She demands to know what is going on and her shaggy lackey communicates back that it must be sabotage by an intruder. Inside, Pikachu, Electivire and Umbreon are blasting everything in sight, setting fires and damaging walls. Hunters come rushing for them and they turn and run, while trapped elsewhere in the base, James is moaning that J always remains one step ahead of them. Jesse snaps at him that she is far craftier than J, and then a random explosion tears open the wall and James, Meowth and Wobbuffet quickly scarper, while a triumphant Jesse leaps up and takes credit for everything. Pointing at the camera, she roars to, “Pokémon Hunter Jerk" that she just got trumped by Team Rocket!

And she probably honestly believes it, too!

Outside J is getting a status report the engines are undamaged and they still have full flying capability. But then an explosion rips out the side of the base and Ash comes tumbling out, grabbing up Shieldon's jar and switching off the freeze, getting it free. Electivire and Umbreon tackle the startled hunters, but Ash and Gary still have J to face, and with her client so close she doesn't intend to let Shieldon go.

J pulls out a Pokéball, but then her client's voice calls down from his helicopter telling her that the deal if off. Officer Jenny is approaching and he has no interest in being arrested (all that trouble of going through the bribe process, the inconvenience of 45 minutes in a jail cell and all), and snaps that he could care less about Shieldon, flying away. J seems irritated.... that the contract was broken, and over nothing else. Ever the professional, she snaps at her hunters that their work is done and they move to climb back onto the flying base, Gary holding back an indignant Ash, pointing out that they have Shieldon back; there is nothing to gain from getting into a fight they're pretty much guaranteed to lose.

The base flies into the air, J telling Shaggy Lackey to contact the client and tell him they'll never work for him again. There are plenty of people out there willing to pay the price for her services.

Rowan and Officer Jenny arrive on the scene along with Brock, Dawn, the Shieldons and three nameless research assistants. Jenny assures them that she'll launch a full investigation into J's activities (she poaches Pokémon and sells them to the highest bidder, case closed pending arrest, get some more donuts, Sal!), and Gary tells Rowan that the Shieldons are safe thanks to Ash's bravery. Ash is pleased to get a rare compliment from his older nephew, and then Gary surprises everyone again by telling Ash they'll be best of friends until the end, and shakes his hand!



Good lord, it's Bizarro-World!

As the sun sets, Rowan, Jenny and Gary head away, leaving behind the twerps. Dawn suddenly gasps, realising that Gary's comment about being friends to the end was spontaneous poetry, he IS Professor Oak's Grandson! Ash and Brock sigh, but Dawn is delighted, she just had an encounter with a related associate of a minor celebrity!

Every ten year old girl's dream!

BEST QUOTES

"How did you know my name?" "Oh I've heard tons of things about YOU from my Granddad!"

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