ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
508: Mass Hip-Po-Sis!	512: Maigo no Hipopotasu o Tasukero!	Mr. Sandman, Bring Me A... Hippo?			The twerps try to reunite an ugly hippo with its parents.	The Show must go on, even when asleep!	Burping is never cute, even when a baby does it.

Today's pre-episode teaser sees Team Rocket flying away from the twerps with a gigantic snouted little bizarre hippopotamus thing struggling in a net beneath them. It blows a giant spit-bubble out of its huge mouth that startles Meowth, and next thing we see is Ash clutching the bizarre Pokémon still in the net as they fall through the air and hit the raging water beneath.

What's going on? This is so bizarre, if it was just me seeing this I'd think I was imagining it, but you're all seeing it too, so it must be real? Unless.... maybe we're all suffering from....



The twerps have just - for a change - finished up a rest stop and a meal and are now packing up getting ready to go. They ask the Pokémon if they're But after returning all of the Pokémon to they're all finished and they all happily shout out their own names... except for Croagunk which just croaks grumpily at them all. Returning them to their Pokéballs, Pikachu makes a Turtwig face at Ash, and Brock tells him that he thinks he saw it head out into the forest. They head out into the forest calling for it (if nobody had said anything Ash would have never realised it was gone!) and it emerges from the bushes and bites onto Ash's pantsleg, trying to pull him into the forest. They follow it, and discover a bizarre baby hippo Pokémon... thing trapped up on a rock ledge shivering and cowering in fear. Ash calls out to the clearly terrified (and terrible looking) Pokémon to stay still and they'll rescue it. Brock ties Ash to a rope and lowers him down towards the weird looking thing, and Dawn gets down on all fours and bends over, and considering her short skirt, this probably accounts for Brock almost dropping Ash to his own death. He finally gets down beside the weird hippo and extends his hand.... and it bites him!

He yells at the small frightened baby for biting the stranger from a different species that is screaming incomprehensible sounds at it and jabbing his hand towards it. Dawn reminds him that it's probably scared and needs to be calmed first, so Pikachu slides down the rope to reassure the bizarre Pokémon, and it lets go of Ash's hand. The horribly ugly thing climbs into Ash's arm and they're lifted up to where Brock, Dawn and Turtwig are waiting. Dawn checks it out with Dextina, though Brock has already identified it as a Hippopotas - because apparently its colouring and gigantic fucking bulbous snout weren't enough of a giveaway until he was closer to it.

Apparently it lives in dry locations, covers itself with sand and doesn't like water or getting wet. Brock feeds it some pellets and then it waddles over to an apple tree and waggles its tail at them, and they realise that it fell trying to get fruit from the tree. Ash grabs down a gigantic apple that MUST be the result of a chemical fertilisation process, and Hippopotas swallows it down in one gigantic gulp. Then, surprisingly for the twerps, they appear to have decided they've done all they're going to do for this episode's "Pokémon in distress" and they say their goodbyes and walk away, leaving it behind. But it isn't done with its moment in the sun, and follows after them.

They turn to see it waddling happily after them, beaming ^__^ at them and waggling its tail. Dawn and Brock figure that it wants Ash to be its trainer (or it wants another apple) but then they're interrupted by the sudden arrival of Rhonda from Sinnoh Now. She babbles excitedly that the missing Hippopotas has finally been found... and then she gets the boom mic smack right in her face and goes off on a tirade against Jack, who has a body so round it makes Hippopotas' snout look positively anorexic. Rhonda recognises the twerps and explains that they're filming a documentary about Hippopotas and their annual migration through dry sandy lands.... only this one got separated from its herd and they decided it would be more fun to document its lonely, likely fatal solo journey rather than help it get back.

Rhonda shows them where the herd is likely to be now, and they ask Hippopotas if it would like to come with them to find its herd. They rush off all excited and Rhonda and her crew follow, only for the twerps to fall into a pitfall in the ground, Rhonda and her cameramen managing to pull up short.... only for Jack to bowl into them and send them crashing into the hole.

A thin piece of rope with a tiny knot in it is lowered down and grabs Hippopotas by the tail, hauling it up out of the hole, a Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon on the other end, and inside it... Team Rocket! Jesse laughs and thanks them for their "Hyper-pootas" and Meowth snaps angrily at her that it's Hippopotas, half-wit. "Hyper-Hoople," mutters James, which doesn't mean a goddamn thing at all!

The twerps and Rhonda and her crew chase after Team Rocket, Ash yelling at Hippopotas to hold on. It opens its gaping maw and lets loose a big round spit-bubble that floats into the air and pops beside a startled Meowth. Ash calls out Turtwig and has it use Razor Leaf to cut through the rope and send it plummeting through the air. Ash rushes underneath it and catches it, Hippopotas burping another spit-bubble that pops open in front of Jack's fat face. Ash yells at Team Rocket that he doesn't have time for them today, and they rush off, leaving behind a horrified Team Rocket.

"WHAT!?! YOU'VE GOT A SCHEDULE!?!" screams Jesse.

A short time later, Jesse is STILL furious over their treatment, and even more so to see Meowth seemingly nodding off instead of looking out for the twerps. She yells at him to wake up but he just conks out and sleeps draped over the side of the basket, drool dripping from his mouth. James seems to think it is cute, saying,"Awwww, night!" when he sees the sight, then tells Jesse it isn't laziness that has put Meowth to sleep, but the burp-bubble from Hippopotas. Jesse could care less, however, sulkily telling James that she wants "Happy puppy"! He tells her again that it is pronounced Hippopotas, and she grunts that next he'll say they should give it the Boss. James' reaction? A patent pending Crazy James Giovanni fantasy!

"Picture this, the Boss is on the links playing 18 holes or so," James tells her, as we see a lean looking Giovanni (it seems Meowth prefers the muscular type, James is more of a lean, mean man) in khakis and a polo shirt lining up his shot,"When he suddenly shanks it and lobs it right into a sand trap! But guess who's waiting in said sand to lob it out with nose blowback? Right on the green for an easy birdy! And what would his Boss-ness say then? "Ahhh, just like Hippopotas to keep me under par... ha ha."

But James isn't done there, he's got control of the crazy fantasies this episode and he means to make good use of it! He tells Jesse that Giovanni might like to head out to the beach, but there's not enough sand! Well, Hippopotas can MAKE sand, and then they can build a sandcastle together!

Well.... okay!

Meanwhile, Dawn looks concerned as she walks along with Pikachu on her shoulder, asking Ash if he's okay. What's the problem? Well Ash is walking along with Hippopotas on his head, saying that he's okay despite the obvious heavy weight. Brock is stumbling along beside them, obviously exhausted, and suddenly he collapses to the road, affected by an earlier encounter with a burp-bubble. Ash crouches down and moans that they should probably take a rest, but then Dawn spots Team Rocket's balloon floating along not so far away and they quickly leg it into the bushes to hide.... only they forgot Brock!

But wait, what's this approaching? Is it a bird? A plane? NO! It's.... Croagunk being creepy! It rushes towards them, Brock's legs draped over its shoulder as it drags him roughly along the ground behind it. Entering the bushes, it rushes past Dawn and Ash who compliment it on being so clever, but it just sits on a rock looking slightly pissed off. Normally when it drags Brock off into the bushes like this, it has a little bit more privacy!

Meanwhile, things aren't going well for Rhonda and her crew.



Trudging furiously along in journalism-hell, she at least doesn't have to carry Jack's fat ass on her back (I'm sure he wouldn't mind being pressed up against her back, though!). She swings her boom mic around hard directly into Jack's face, but it doesn't affect his sleeping at all, just making him mutter something about the mailroom, and they continue on.

A little later, a revitalised Brock is embarrassed by the fact he fell asleep, but thanks them for getting him away before Team Rocket could spot him. They tell him it was Croagunk and he seems slightly confused/alarmed. Before we can find out more about his odd relationship with his Pokémon though, they encounter a wall blocking their path. An apologetic bowing happy cartoon-builder on a poster explains they can't go any further. As they look at this absurdist piece of pop-art hiding within the boring context of the construction industry, a round piece of fruit is lowered down in front of Hippopotas, and the greedy (and stupid) big nosed idiot grabs a bite, instantly being hauled up into the air by Jesse clutching a fishing rod.

"Now we've got a happy Hibachi!" she sings happily, and a woken Meowth explains once again what the name is, James muttering that she obviously doesn't read much. Suddenly Hippopotas blasts sand out of its nostrils (EWWW!), creating whirling sand around Team Rocket, causing Jesse to drop it. It then uses Sand Tomb, filling up the basket with sand which weights the balloon enough to send them falling to the ground.

Hippopotas emerges as Jesse and James struggle to pull clear while Meowth's legs flail and kick uselessly about, upside down in the sand. Ash congratulates Hippopotas on its power, while Jesse screams at them to move away from her "Harpo Hippo-stat!"

Somewhere, Butch is twitching uncomfortably.

Ash calls out Aipom and has it use Focus Punch, sending Team Rocket blasting off.... prematurely!

There's a pill for that.

Ash lifts up Hippopotas and it bubble-burps again, sending the bubble popping into Dawn's face... and she's down for the count, a little girl with a tiny skirt unconscious in the middle of a forest with two young men..... could this finally be Brock's chance!?!



Well, he ALMOST got it right.

She's dreaming about winning a Contest and bragging to her mother (or rubbing her mother's nose in it? Last episode proved the girl has Mummy issues), and Ash doesn't see anything wrong with complete and utter obsession with winning.

They come to a rope bridge, Dawn apparently awake again though only barely, and Brock reminds Ash that Hippopotas doesn't like water. He tells it to hang on tight to its head, and they start crossing.... but then Team Rocket swoop down over the bridge and scoop up Hippopotas in a net as they try to escape. Ash rushes after them, leaping onto the net which causes it to snap and send them both falling into the river. Brock calls out Croagunk and - rather than going to the aid of his friend - has his Pokémon use Poison Sting to explode the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon and send Team Rocket blasting off again!

In the water, Ash is clinging to a rock that Hippopotas is splayed out on. Dawn calls out Buizel to help them, and it drops with disdain (arms crossed and everything!) into the river.

It swims to Ash who insists that it take Hippopotas to shore, he'll be fine. It swims to where Dawn and Brock are waiting, and Ash joins them and takes his shirt off (it's not erotic, he's 10 years old for God's sake) while Dawn and Pikachu dry Hippopotas with a towel, the big snouted Pokémon looking sick. Brock says they should get it to the Pokémon Centre, and once there Joy checks it out and says it'll be fine as long as it gets lots of rest, lots of sand and also its medicine.

Well yeah, as long as....

They settle it into a box of sand and Joy says they need lots of dry sand to keep packing into the box and absorb the water. The twerps volunteer to get it, and rush off (with Staravia as a guide) and find sacks of sand, running around in a tizzy while Ash yells at Dawn to speed up... and then trips and falls flat on his face, spilling the sand everywhere.

Eventually though they get it back and fill up the box Hippopotas is sleeping in. Some time passes, and Hippopotas appears to be in MUCH better shape. Nurse Joy offers it some food, and then Brock figures that now is the perfect time for a clumsy come-on, putting on his utterly terrifying "Enrico Suave" face and asking her if she can satisfy his hunger for her.... oh my!

Croagunk puts paid to his clumsy and inappropriate sexual harassment though, jabbing him in the back and allowing Joy to get on with her work. With Hippopotas fixed up, Ash settles the crazy-eyed big snouted Hippopotas on his head and they head out again, only to be stopped when they spot a couple in bizarre outfits, a man with blue hair and a woman with red hair selling high quality sand..... gee, I wonder where this is going.

The women with red (well, pinky-purple) hair opens a sack and assures Ash it has great sand inside, why not put Hippopotas inside? But not even Ash is this stupid, and he denounces her ploy as pathetically transpar..... oh, oh Ash... he put Hippopotas in the sack!

He.... he put Hippopotas into a sack because somebody told him to.

Jesse and James toss off their disguises and rush behind the tree.... which turns out to be a poor quality theatrical backdrop! It falls forward with a crash to reveal the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, and Jesse laughing that they've finally caught a "hypodermic pod!"

"IT'S HIPPOPOTAS YOU HAYSEED!" screams Meowth.

And then they're into the motto, only with one small problem.... Jesse got hit with a burp-bubble when they first jumped out, and now she's falling asleep!

"Listen, is that a twerp I hear?"
"Obnoxiously loud and clear!"
"On the.... wind...." mumbles Jesse, the burp-bubble starting to get the best of her.
"Past the stars!"
"In yer ear!"
"Bringing chaos at...uhh..... zzzzzzz," she manages to get out before falling asleep on her feet, snoring loudly as James realises he and Meowth are on their own. So what is he to do? Well as an RR-Teeest! there is only one thing you can do... the show must go on!
"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place!" he hurriedly proclaims, before grabbing Jesse's arms and flailing them about as he squeaks in a falsetto,"A rose by any other name's just as sweet!"
"When everything's worse, our work is complete!" he bravely proclaims in his own voice, then gapes as he sees Jesse dropping towards the ground. He hauls her back up, squeaking out her name for her (who is this for the benefit of? The twerps aren't foole... well, maybe Ash....) before adding his own.
"Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Meowth, now dat's a name!" adds Meowth, happy to just deliver his own lines and leave James to handle Jesse.
"Putting the do-gooders in their place!" James squeaks for Jesse.
"We're Team Rocket!" cries James, before joining Meowth in,"In your face!" and being rewarded with a soft yawning,"....yeah...." from Jesse.

As they perform, though, Hippopotas waddles out of the sack and rushes back to Ash's side. The twerps check on it to make sure it is okay, and then reveal that they're so angry that the lines around their bodies have become thicker! James - who is essentially facing them alone - panics and calls out Cacnea, and the result is.... confusing.

Turtwig faces off with Cacnea and - as expected - beats the shit out of it, sending it crashing into Team Rocket who are sent crashing into their balloon... and Pikachu Thunderbolts and sends them blasting..... sends Jesse drifting idyllically through a rose-tinted dream world!?!

She smiles and whispers that it feels so good to be carried off by that special someo... and then wakes up and realises that they're blasting off again! She demands a script change and Meowth and James cheerfully break the fourth wall, telling her to be careful what she wishes for, what if "They" called Cassidy?

The twerps continue on and find where the Hippopotas should be, and spot their hoof prints in the sand. They follow the completely circular hoof prints (hopefully the right way!) but can't seem to find them, until Hippopotas opens its gaping maw and calls out. Suddenly more Hippopotas pop out of the sand, and Ash pops it down and tells it to return to its herd. But of course after all this time it must have grown attached t-

It runs straight off to the herd and leaves Ash standing alone looking surprised. It rejoins the herd and nuzzles up with them (what the hell happened to Rhonda? Her and her crew just disappeared, surely Jack woke up by now?), then Ash calls out to it and shows it one of the giant apples, tossing it to it. Hippopotas opens its gaping maw and swallows the apple whole, then burps out a bubble that pops Ash in the face, putting him straight down for the count!

So he doesn't even get to do the traditional farewell wave while walking into the sunset, as Brock and Dawn carry Ash and Pikachu away towards Hearthome City. Dawn figures this was Hippopotas' way of saying thank you, giving Ash a nice long rest - or maybe it was just happy to go along with somebody who would feed and look after it till it got back with its family and never thought about him ever again. Whatever the case, Ash is sleeping and plastered over Brock's back, while Dawn peeks gleefully at the cute sleeping Pikachu she is carrying over her shoulder.



Though to be honest, it's not like Pikachu would be doing any walking if it was awake anyway!

BEST QUOTES

"I don't have any time to mess with Team Rocket now, bye!" "WHAT!?! YOU'VE GOT A SCHEDULE!?!"

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