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505: A Stand Up, Sit Down!       509: Hikari to Nozomi to Daburu Pafomansu!       Dawn Performs For Zoey                     Dawn practises Double Performances under Zoey's guidance.       A common cause strengthened by fear of physical beatings!       If a bully says your friend can't beat them in a fight and you beat them up, that doesn't make the bully wrong!      


Today's pre-episode teaser sees Buneary and Buizel fighting Pikachu and Aipom! Why? Who knows, but things aren't going well as Buizel gets encased in ice by a "helpful" Buneary and crashes into Aipom. It seems that the Pokémon are fighting! That's not good, someone needs to be a stand-up guy and sit them all down for a good talking to. That's right, it's time for....



A Glameow and a Misdreavus run through the forest calling out worriedly about something, meeting up with each other and looking distressed. They overhear Dawn nearby, getting in some Contest Practice and congratulating Piplup on its excellent execution of a move, and both run in and start saying their names to Dawn. She actually seems to recognise the two Pokémon (not their types, the specific individual Pokémon themselves), but she can't understand what they're saying (their names! They're saying their names!). So the two concerned Pokémon talk to Piplup and Pikachu about whatever is bothering them and then rush off, and Piplup and Pikachu lead the twerps after them.

They run around a rock and discover Zoey, sitting rubbing her ankle with a bizarre snail-like Pokémon next to her - Shellos. Dawn did indeed recognise the Pokémon as Zoey's, though Zoey's reaction to being rescued is far from grateful. She looks the twerps over and offers a weary, somewhat embarrassed hello to Dawn, then mutters to the Pokémon that if they were going to find someone to help her, it might as well be someone who loves to talk.

Dawn is miffed, but settles down to find some medicine in her bag, finding only snacks and juiceboxes and bursting into tears for being useless. This gives Brock a chance to shine though; as he declares that he has medicine for Pokémon AND for people and promptly thrusts his crotch at the screen for emphasis.

Ash lets out a big cheer for his Momma-Brock, Piplup cheers and Dawn laughs that there's no need for a Pokémon Centre when Brock is around. Brock agrees, then suddenly loses his shit as he remembers that Nurse Joys run Pokémon Centre and he hasn't quite struck out with all of them yet, and he pinwheels his arms wildly, Piplup and Ash only barely holding him back from throwing down on a 10 year old girl.

Zoey seems taken aback by Brock's fury, but not long after she has a boot off and her ankle being sprayed by one of Brock's handy treatments - hopefully one that will neutralise her sweaty boot-odour. She tries to stand on the sore foot but it buckles beneath her, and Brock manages to sneak a grope of her non-existent breast as he steadies her. They can't get her to the Pokémon Centre in this condition, it's too far off, but they are able to get her to her campsite on the rocks beside a river. She settles down on a chair by a metal table next to a big tent, all of which are far too big to have fit inside of her backpack. The Shellos jumps into her lap so she can pet it, which would be cute if... you know.... it wasn't a snail.

Zoey tells Dawn that she caught it in the same river that Dawn caught Buizel, and then Ash jams his head down right beside the tiny Pokémon and roars a hello at it. Terrified, it nuzzles for safety in Zoey's complete lack of breasts, and Dawn jokes that it has been babied.

Watching from up on a tree branch across the river, Team Rocket comment on the "primadonna" Pokémon. As Meowth gets in a verbal jab on Jesse, James notes that a Pokémon that "cute" would be a shoe-in to win the Hearthome Contest, and that decides it for Jesse, she MUST have it!

Back in the campsite, Zoey asks Dawn how Buizel is doing and she calls it out to show her. She points out Buizel and asks if it remembers her, and Buizel pokes its snout forward to glare at the odd pink Pokémon, startling it. Dawn snaps at Buizel and Piplup yells at it too, even though all Buizel did was look. Buizel turns its back on Piplup which causes the little penguin to begin squeaking angrily, and the two face off angrily until Dawn tells them to cut it out. Zoey is surprised by their fighting, and asks Dawn how she plans to put on a Double Performance if two of her top Pokémon aren't on speaking terms.

Double... Performance... huh? Dawn is flummoxed, and Zoey surprised again, Dawn didn't know? Soon she has her laptop out and open to the Hearthome City Contest Website. A streaming video explains to them that the Contest consists of a First Round Contest Performance, and then a Second Round Contest Battle. These are the same rules as the Grand Festival, but Dawn hasn't gotten in any practise for that sort of thing, so Zoey offers to give her a demonstration.

Glameow and Shellos demonstrate with a Mudball/Shockwave Combo, Shellos stretching its neck in a violation of God's laws to do so. The Mudballs are turned into balls of ice, sparkling in a net that makes Buneary, Piplup and Pachirisu gape in wonder, while Buizel stares on unimpressed, arms folded across its chest. Shellos uses Hidden Power to blast the sparkling net, landing on Glameow's tail as sparkles rain down over them, and once again everyone is impressed except for Buizel. Zoey explains to Dawn that there is more to a presentation than what moves to use and how they look, it's about timing, posing, combinations, types etc. Dawn is impressed with Zoey's skills, but Zoey says that she hasn't quite got to where she wants to be yet; they can do better.... which alarms Dawn, since Zoey seems to be about 452 years ahead of her at the moment. Zoey tells the twerps you can never be satisfied with where you are, you always have to seek improvement, and Dawn recognises the same message she got from her bitch of a mother when she won her first Pokémon Contest and received a verbal bitchslap for getting a big head.

Team Rocket are watching from the bushes and have discovered that the Hearthome Contest is a Double Presentation/Double Battle, which worries James and Meowth but doesn't concern Jesse. Why? Because they use two or more Pokémon ALL THE TIME, so they have plenty of experience! James points out that doesn't mean they're any good at it, but Jesse doesn't hear, lost in her fantasy world of victory and triumph, going so far as to threaten James and Meowth with physical violence if they don't go along with her delusions!

Meanwhile, Dawn has been busy making up a list of potential team for Double Performances - Piplup and Pachirisu for First Round Presentation, then Buneary and Buizel for the Second Round Battle. She puts on a demonstration/practise for Zoey, which makes perfect sense since they'll be COMPETING against each other soon. She has Pachirisu fill up the sky with Sweet Kiss, then Piplup shoot up a whirlwind.... which smashes through the Sweet Kisses! Panicking, Dawn tells Pachirisu to use Discharge, which isn't a great idea since now the water coming out of Piplup's mouth is getting electrically charged! Dawn rushes to grab Piplup and pull it to safety (even though it's the SOURCE of the water!) and the two of them get an electric discharge for their worries.

You can go to a Free Clinic for that type of thing.


They try again, another Discharge/Whirlpool Combination, which blasts up a thick cloud of steam due to the Discharge being too powerful. Dawn moans that her combinations just aren't working (and neither is that skirt, honey) but Ash has the solution! His solution to everything of course!

FIGHT!


Yes he suggests that Dawn practise a Double Battle, and Zoey admits it isn't a bad idea, she may get some fresh ideas for combinations from battling, so why not give it a go. Dawn agrees, and that of course means she needs someone to fight against, in this case Ash's Pokémon, which was probably his intention all along, an excuse to battle!

So Pikachu and Aipom face off against Buizel and Buneary, the latter seemingly getting the wrong idea and cocking a saucy hip and blowing a kiss at a horrified Pikachu.



An exasperated Dawn tells Buneary this is an Appeal Battle, not a date, and Buneary gets its game face on. Ash tells Aipom to kick things off with Swift, and it flings stars out of its arm-butt, Pikachu jumping into the Swift and using Quick Attack to charge a trail of stars behind it. It's an interesting combination but it lives Aipom wide open, and even Dawn can see that. Buizel and Buneary dart aside from Quick Attack, then Buizel leaps through the air with Aqua Jet while Buneary fires off Icebeam, turning Buizel into a solid ice dart.... which would be great if it didn't cut off Buizel's propulsion system and send it crashing into the ground, bouncing and smashing into a shocking Aipom and sending them both falling into the river.

Zoey yells at Dawn to get a grip, the battle is still on, and Dawn orders a Sonic Boom that knocks Aipom back before both sides get back into position. Ash orders a Focus Punch/Thunderbolt Combo, the latter kicking up rocks to distract and immobilise Dawn's Pokémon while Aipom builds up power for its Focus Punch. Buneary tries to Ice Beam Aipom but only succeeds in hitting the rocks kicked up by Thunderbolt, and Aipom scores a direct hit, knocking Buneary out cold!

Pikachu charges in with Volt Tackle and Buizel comes back with Aqua jet, the Megapowers colliding and sending Pikachu and Buizel both stumbling back. Buizel grins, apparently only more fired up, ready to Hulk Up and use creative control, brother..... until it falls flat on its face, the battle over.... Ash wins!

A short time later, Buizel stands staring at its reflection in the water, not able to believe it got its ass handed to it by a fat yellow French rat, while Dawn gets a critique from Zoey, who has a pink snail sitting on her lap.

I love Pokémon so much.


Zoey wants to know what the hell Dawn thought an Aqua Jet/Ice Beam combination would accomplish. Dawn says she thought it would look great, but she must have thought wrong. But Ash corrects her, it DID look great, and Brock notes it has the potential to be an effective move as well, a flying block of ice that looks good. Zoey says she just needs to work on perfecting it, but Dawn isn't sure, saying she is having second thoughts, until all of her Pokémon - including Buizel - insist that it's something she should pursue.

They try once more, Buizel using Aqua Jet and Buneary using IceBeam. Buizel manages to fly a little further this time before crashing out, then gets back up and demands they try again. Dawn says they'll try one more time, but then they're interrupted by.... Jesselina!

She approaches happily, followed by James in a suit holding a parasol over her head to protect her from the sun, while a top-hatted Meowth follows on. Dawn thinks she maybe recognises her from a Contest perhaps, and Jesselina introduces herself (or rather, her fake identity) and notes that Dawn has been training for Double Performance.... except, well... she stinks! Zoey frowns while James and Meowth proclaim she's got it right, Dawn does stink! Dawn is rather put out by all this, of course, angrily pointing out that while their technique isn't the best, that doesn't mean that their Performances aren't just as good as anybody else's!

Actually... that's exactly what it means!

Jesselina offers her a chance for a battle to prove she's wrong, and gets an acceptance... from Zoey! Yes Zoey has decided to show Jesselina that she's wrong about Dawn by.... fighting Dawn's battle for her? Anyways, Jesselinna is concerned at first, till she notes how Zoey is struggling to support her weight on her bad ankle. Zoey tells Dawn that she'll struggle through, snapping at Jesselina that she doesn't care how sure of herself she might be, that's no excuse for telling someone who is working hard on improving themselves that they stink. Jesselina is happy to accept the challenge from the hobbled Zoey, because after all, the mobility of a Pokémon Coordinator is often the deciding factor when you have small animals attacking each other!

Seviper and Dustox face off against Glameow and Shellos, and Jesselina kicks off with a Poison Sting into the air, which Seviper smacks with Poison Tail after leaping into the air after it, causing the Stings to spin and increase in power. The twerps are amazed, it's such an impressive move that James gets all symbolic with his parasol about it!

But Zoey is not worried, and has Glameow use Iron Tail to smack the Poison Stings back into the air, then Shellos' Mudball to blast it into pink sparkles that float gently through the air over Team Rocket. Jesselina orders a Psychic Attack from Dustox, but Glameow dodges then leaps into the air with Shadow Claw, Shellos shooting the Shadowclaw with Blizzard to make the move twice as effective AND look pretty, knocking Seviper and Dustox backwards into Jesselina, making Meowth cringe and James hide behind his parasol! They peek out when it's all done, and what they see isn't pretty! Jesse is down, knocked out alongside Seviper and Dustox, and Zoey has successfully proved that Dawn is just as good as everyone else by beating up fighting Dawn's battles for her!

Zoey asks if they want more, but James and Meowth grab up Jesselina and her Pokémon onto a stretcher, say they're good and rush off, disappearing into a sparkle without even getting to say their motto!

As the sun sets, they stand outside a Pokémon Centre saying their goodbyes to Zoey, Brock warning her to keep off of her foot for a little bit to let it fully recover. Dawn promises she'll work on everything Dawn suggested, and Zoey wishes Ash luck at his next Gym Battle.

They head off, Dawn telling Ash and Brock she isn't worried about just how good Zoey is, because tough rivals are meant to be beaten!



In which case, it probably wasn't the best idea to show off your secret weapon Aqua Jet/Icebeam Combo to her, Dawn!



BEST QUOTES
"Looks like she's got a primadonna Pokémon!"
"You would know, of course...."





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