501: The Grass Menagerie
Dodgy Synopsis
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505: Hakutai Jimu! Bui Esu Natane!
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Inside the Eterna Gym all is grass, trees and bushes, vegetation growing up over the interior of the gym and the exterior as well. The twerps are impressed, especially considering the Gym is FREAKING HUGE and has an impressive open air roof. Gardenia approaches, the twerps having been brought this far by one of her oddly frumpy aides, and both she and Ash are keen to get things started... they've waited long enough!
Outside the Gym, Team Rocket are also impressed with the Eterna Gym, more particularly the potential prizes inside, particularly Pikachu (also, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers). Meowth suggests that they dig down underneath the Gym and come up inside the arena, and Jesse is delighted with the creative suggestion, both of them enthusiastically brushing off the surprised James who isn't sure exactly how doing the exact same thing they always do can be considered creative. Wobbuffet doesn't know either, but that doesn't stop it from saluting and shouting out its own name in delight.
Inside the Gym, the aide explains the rules - it's 3 on 3, with the battle ending when one trainer's Pokémon are all knocked out or otherwise incapacitated. And as this is home advantage for the Gym Leader, only the challenger is allowed to substitute his Pokémon. Ash calls out to Pikachu sitting up in the stands to sit tight, asking if it understands why it isn't being used. Brock points out to Dawn that Pikachu would be at a disadvantage against a Grass Type, and then the battle kicks off, Gardenia calling out her first Pokémon, Cherubi! The little cherry looking Pokémon (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!) seems quite aggressive, perhaps due to the underdeveloped conjoined foetus on the top of its head.
Ash calls out the similarly aggressive Turtwig, which tries a Tackle, then a Razor Leaf, both of which Cherubi dodges, getting behind Turtwig with a big grin that is simultaneously smug AND angry. Yes, Gentle Dodgers, SMUGRY!
Gardenia points out that Cherubi’s speed is based on an ability called Chlorophyll, which allows it to absorb sunlight and increase its speed. It draws in sunlight and blasts at Turtwig with Solarbeam, which the little turtle Pokémon dodges. Ash realises that this gives him an opportunity, Solar Beam will take too long to recharge, so now is the time to.... see Turtwig get blasted by Solar Beam!?!
Ash is flummoxed, but Gardenia doesn't let up, calling for a Magical Leaf that only just misses when Ash recalls Turtwig. Gardenia congratulates him on making the right decision, noting that he must have learned something recently, the Ash she met only recently would have kept on fighting until Turtwig's head had caved in!
Meanwhile, Team Rocket sing happily as they mine their way beneath the Gym.... only to break through into a huge underground tunnel with lights stringing along the walls. They're confused, this doesn't look like a Grass Gym.... maybe they're conserving water? A crusty old codger in mining gear steps up with a pick slung over one shoulder, confused why they're not dressed like miners, so they answer him with their motto!
"He's crusting to me, loud and clear!"
"What a sound!"
"Underground!"
"In my ear!"
"Well we could outdig you at a breakneck pace!"
"With nary a trace of dirt anyplace!"
"Careful how you pick your fights!"
"Or we just may have to punch out your lights!"
"Jesse here!"
"Here with James!"
"Meowth's my name!"
"Putting milquetoast miners in their place."
"We're Team Rocket!"
"And we're in your face!" they finish together.
"WOBBUH WOBBUFFET!"
"Mime Mime, mimemimemime!"
The codger can't believe they're really Team Rocket!?! They're delighted.... he's heard of them!?! And.... no, no he hasn't.
They hang their heads in exasperation, and he introduces himself, he's an Eterna City Underground Explorer, a treasure hunter who is looking for valuable goods, and that's all that Team Rocket needs to hear! He happily tells them that there's more than enough to go around, so if they help him dig, he'll split everything with them!
Up above ground, Ash calls out Staravia, and Gardenia warns him that just choosing what is a good matchup on paper doesn't necessarily mean a win. Staravia dodges Solar Beam with Wing Attack, but Cherubi dodges that, getting into position to hit Staravia with another Solar Beam..... only it can't, the sun has gone behind a cloud!
But Gardenia has a backup plan, telling Cherubi to switch to Magical Leaf. Ash knows they don't have time or room to dodge, so orders Staravia to go UP UP UP! It lifts high into the air, taking advantage of the open roof, higher and higher until finally Magical Leaf fades, and Dawn and Brock excitedly wait to see Ash take advantage of Staravia's speed for a dive-bomb.... and Ash tells it to come down slowly!
Everyone is confused, but as Staravia slowly descends, the sun comes out from behind the clouds, and Gardenia eagerly orders a fresh Solar Beam..... and then realizes that the impossible has happened.... she's been outsmarted by Ash!
Cherubi can't see Staravia to target it, because Staravia is coming in with the sun behind it! It is powerless to dodge as Staravia smashes in with Wing Attack, then Quick Attack... and then Aerial Ace to really rub salt into the wound and.... Cherubi is down and out!
Gardenia congratulates Cherubi on getting its ass kicked and congratulates Ash on the way he turned the tables. He points out that he heard her say that you can't trust the weather after Cherubi lost the ability to use Solar Beam, and she seems surprised that he heard her from all the way over there.... but it's not like she's shy and retiring in the projection of her voice!
She sends in her next Pokémon, Turtwig.... which instantly gets Staravia fired up, remembering the beating this Turtwig gave it last time they met. Ash orders a Wing Attack, but Turtwig dodges with its incredible speed. Ash tells Staravia to keep using Wing Attack, but Turtwig keeps dodging.... but despite Dawn and Brock's warnings that Turtwig is too fast, Ash insists that Staravia keep it up. Gardenia grunts that this is getting boring.... and then her eyes widen in alarm as she realises what Ash is doing. She shouts to Turtwig that it’s a trap, but it’s too late, Turtwig dodges its way right into the wedge of two tree branches, leaving it trapped, immobile and completely exposed to.... REVENGE!
It is sent crashing into the ground and Ash orders a Wing Attack to wrap things up, but Turtwig succeeds in getting off a Leech Seed, drawing energy from Staravia and leaving it open to a Tackle, knocking it into a tree and knocking IT out!
Ash tells it that it did great despite taking ANOTHER ass kicking (remember, Paul dumped it for being a loser!) and then calls out his Turtwig, it's time to fight Turtwig against Turtwig!
Meanwhile beneath the ground, the crusty old miner is impressed with Team Rocket's mining ability, and they admit that if there is one thing they're good at, it's digging holes! He tells them they're sure to hit treasure soon, and as they start digging a red sphere is knocked clear, and he tells them its high quality, they should keep going... so they do! They pound away with fresh enthusiasm, and spheres of different colours start popping out faster and faster, the miner rushing behind them throwing them into a sack.
Upstairs, Turtwig charges at Gardenia's Turtwig, but it’s far too fast, leaping aside and blasting Leaf Storm at Turtwig. But Turtwig is prepared, running up a tree branch and flipping backwards out of the way, then running in circles around Gardenia's. It gets behind and rushes in to bite it on the bottom, but before there can be a picket of Cartoon Network's offices by horrified Soccer Moms who just wanted to leave their kids in front of an electronic babysitter while chatting on the phone, Gardenia orders a Leech Seed which wraps up Turtwig and drains its energy.... just like the last time they met!
Turtwig collapses, remembering the nut shot that put it out last time, then staggers back up, not wanting to face another lowblow like that one again. Ash is close to panic, until suddenly he remembers Synthesis, and orders Turtwig to use that to try and heal up. Gardenia - with a surprising level of contempt in her voice - grunts that this isn't going to work, and orders a Leaf Storm. But Turtwig dodges, jumping high up into the air with the sun behind it, shining on it and aiding Synthesis, healing Turtwig right up. It blasts at Gardenia's Turtwig with Razor Leaf and knocks it back, then both land and charge straight at each other in a head to head Tackle that sends them both sliding back, knackered and hurting but neither willing to go down... and then Ash's Turtwig winces in pain and appears set to stagger. The twerps are horrified and Gardenia's Turtwig smirks arrogantly... then its eyes widen as the shock wears off and it realises how badly it is hurting, and collapses back down to the ground, knocked out.
So far Ash is up 2-1, and Gardenia is impressed, but tells Ash it's not over yet, he still has work to do if he wants to win. Dawn is impressed too, but Brock points out that Turtwig still has Leech Seed on it, and if the battle goes on much longer, it'll be out for the count.
Meanwhile no longer below ground, Team Rocket sit inside a noodle house eagerly chowing down on food provided to them by the crusty old miner, who is very impressed with the work they did for him today. As they chow down, he stands up and heads off with a bulging sack (OUTTA DA GUTTA I TELLS YA!) of spheres, and it isn't until James finishes his meal that he notices that the miner has gone and taken the treasure with him. But oddly enough, Jesse and Meowth could care less about just being taken advantage of by some crusty old con-artist.... they actually ate today!
Gardenia calls out her final Pokémon, Roserade. The evolved form of Roselia stands perched on its tapered leaf-legs, holding the rose bouquets that are its hands crossed over its chest. Ash wants to end things quickly and sends in Turtwig with Tackle, and Gardenia - mindful of Ash overhearing her earlier - whispers,"Grass Knot."
Roserade's eyes glow green and the grass in front of Turtwig tie themselves in knots, tripping Turtwig over.... Gardenia's final Pokémon can control grass.... and the entire fucking Gym IS GRASS!
It leaps high and forms a ball of fire over its head called Weather Ball, then calls down the flames on Turtwig.... SETTING IT ON FUCKING FIRE AND BURNING IT INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS!
So it's down to the final Pokémon for each, and Ash calls out.... Aipom! The eager little monkey with an arm coming out of its ass flips about and lands with a graceful bow, and Dawn laughs that she doesn't know if Aipom realises this isn't a Contest Battle. It uses Double Team and the circle of Aipoms charge at Roserade, which surrounds itself with Grass Knots that clear each illusory Aipom as they pass through the knots.... until the real Aipom is revealed, hiding behind one of the illusions, jumping over the knot and.... PUNCHING ROSERADE RIGHT IN THE FUCKING FACE!
Haha, Roserade will never go to the prom now!
Gardenia is impressed, but Roserade took the punch and lived. It leaps up and uses Magical Leaf, but Aipom uses the trees to its advantage, running between the tree limbs and dodging the blasts, giggling and waving cheekily as it does so. But this is still Gardenia's Gym and she's still got a few tricks up her sleeve... or rather, Roserade does. It shoots hideous green tentacles out of its arm and catches Aipom by a leg, dragging it to the ground and then using Flash to blind it. Ash calls for a Focus Punch, but Aipom can't see and just punches wildly, leaving itself open to Magical Leaf. It leaps back up and punches wildly at the air, and Ash tells it to calm down, if it can't see, use those big goddamn monkey ears!
Roserade leaps high and uses Weather Ball, sending a fresh flaming ball of death straight at Aipom, which stands with eyes squeezed shut, listening for the sound of flaming death coming... and then punching Death in the face and sending the ball of fire right back into Roserade!
The flowery Pokémon struggles to its feet and tries Magical Leaf again, but Aipom dodges and uses Swift in an unconventional way. It surrounds Roserade with stars and then Focus Punches one of the loose stars, smacking it into the circle surrounding the confused Roserade and setting off a chain reaction that hammers and machineguns Roserade with shot after shot after shot.
Aipom charges in and hits one final punch RIGHT IN ROSERADE'S FUCKING FACE, smashing it into a tree so hard that it smashes through it and into a wall. The pretty little princess Roserade has had its skull fractured in multiple places, probably incurred massive brain damage and is likely paralysed for the rest of its life, only able to be spoon-fed by an increasingly bitter Gardenia.... but that doesn't matter, because ASH JUST WON HIS GODDAMN FOREST BADGE!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "For a Grass-Type Gym, it's a little light on grass...." "Maybe they're conserving water?"
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