500: A Secret Sphere of Influence!
Dodgy Synopsis
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504: Shin'o Jiku Densetsu!
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The cause of the alarm is a smashed glass display case, and arriving on the scene BEFORE MUSEUM SECURITY are the twerps, who look up onto the balcony to see the thieves. And who else could it be but Team R... Team Supervillains!?!
Meowth spots the twerps and calls out to taunt them, only for Jesse to grab him up and warn him they're supposed to be in disguise, and Wobbuffet pops up in a purple eye mask to happily agree. But then again, since they haven't out and out said,"We're Team Rocket, Jesse, James and Meowth, we are Team Rocket, Team Rocket," yet, Ash probably still hasn't figured it out.
The narrator explains that the twerps have finally arrived in Eterna City, and that instead of going straight for Ash's Gym Battle, they decided to have a look around the Eterna Historical Museum, only for it to be robbed in broad daylight of its prized display piece - the Adamant Orb.
Jesse turns around so as to better display both the stolen orb and her ass (which the Cartoon Network logo promptly attempts to cover up, bad logo) as Officer Jenny and Eek the Cat arrive on the scene.
Unfortunately it's not actually Eek the Cat, but a Pokémon called Stunky which immediately does a handstand.... well good for it! Jesse calls out Seviper to cover up with a Haze, and Officer Jenny calls for the doors inside the museum to be sealed, and protective armour comes rolling down over all the entrances like it should have WHEN THE ALARM FIRST SOUNDED!
The police arrive on the scene to begin their investigation, Team Rocket having disappeared somewhere into the confines of the museum. Ash explains to a Police Officer that if only he, Brock and Dawn had been a little quicker they might have stopped the thieves.
A woman being questioned by an Officer starts talking much louder than she should, garnering the twerps' attention. It's Gardenia, the Grass Pokémon loving Trainer they met several episodes ago, complaining bitterly that the thieves dared to use Grass Pokémon. She spots the twerps and since this is the scene of a crime, the police allow them to just walk all over potential evidence to chat happily amongst themselves.
Brock is driven mad with lust for the second time in several minutes, first Jenny and now Gardenia! He rushes up to declare his love, only for Croagunk to Poison Jab him hard in the side. He crashes to the ground and is dragged away in front of multiple police officers, none of whom see the assault and possible sexual abuse about to happen as anything to be concerned with. Officer Jenny arrives back on the scene with Eek The Stunky and a caped figure in tow, declaring she has her first suspect - Nando the Pokémon Troubadour!
Yes the swarthy Latino explains (sings) to the twerps he was taking in the wonderful history of Eterna within the museum with his Roselia and Sunflora when they suddenly found themselves surrounded by Police. His Sunflora - perhaps alarmed since Nando is CLEARLY a drug dealer - panicked and ran away, abandoning its master to a fate worse than... well, it depends on just how much Latin flair Nando has as to whether he will consider the upcoming gangbang a bad thing or not.
Roselia tried to defend its Master, firing Petal Dance into the air and confusing the police, and Nando found himself arrested. Officer Jenny doesn't believe his song however, claiming he let Sunflora escape, but Nando sings that he isn't guilty. Maybe he hopes that Officer Jenny will believe the song is trademarked and copyrighted, meaning it went through a recording company’s legal processing and discovered that all claims made within the song were accurate.... or something.
But where the random song of a Latino fruitcake in a floppy hat fail to assuage Officer Jenny's deep-seated laziness, corruptness and desire to find a random scapegoat to take the blame - the word of a manic bowl-haired, Grass obsessed chick in a poncho does! Gardenia declares that she recognises Nando, he challenged at the Eterna Gym only recently and won a badge there... a badge she was happy to give to him.... AS ETERNA CITY GYM LEADER!
Dawn asks if he has been in any contests yet and he tells her he just won a ribbon recently as well, and she excitedly slides her body up against him to tell him about her own recent victory. Perhaps it is the fact no one is paying attention to her, or the fact that a 10 year old girl in a tiny skirt is sliding her body all over a swarthy Latino in a cape, or the fact that the Chief will chew her ass if she doesn't get results in this museum case.... but Officer Jenny has had enough. She blows her whistle angrily and tells them this is serious, and demands to know why Gardenia is at the museum and not at the Gym?
Gardenia explains that she likes to spend spare time just hanging out at places like the museum when she doesn't have a challenger. Ash tells her that he actually DID go to the Eterna Gym before the museum, and since nobody was there he decided to come here to waste some time. Gardenia blushes and apologises, and then Officer Jenny blows her whistle again, infuriated once more at the lack of respect and attention... and also a little pissed that the five of them are treating an ongoing crime scene as a reunion.
Ash assures her that Nando is no thief, then Dawn points out that there were TWO thieves, not one. Gardenia then points out once more that no Grass Type could commit a crime, but Jenny pulls out a photograph showing just that very thing - a Sunflora stealing the Adamant Orb. Gardenia is horrified, as are the twerps who SAW THE FREAKING SUNFLORA WITH THE CRIMINALS IN THE FIRST PLACE while Jenny smugly tells them that this is all the evidence she needs, and.... Jenny tells her she is wrong!?!
Yes a casually attired Officer Jenny has arrived on the scene, making her cousin/sister/aunt/niece what have you looking like a bush league country bumpkin. She points out that a photograph of a Sunflora does not mean Nando is guilty; it just means that ALL trainers with Sunfloras should be investigated. She introduces herself as Viridian City's Officer Jenny, explaining that as she had a day off she thought she would travel ACROSS THE SEA TO ANOTHER COUNTRY AND THEN IN-COUNTRY TO A CITY WITHIN THE INTERIOR OF THAT COUNTRY just for kicks.
Ash is delighted to hear she is from Viridian City, and Brock is just delighted to see another Jenny, but the Eterna Jenny is infuriated at an officer from outside their own jurisdiction coming in and making her look like a Keystone Cop! She angrily tells Viridian Jenny that they don't need any help from her, they've got the Museum locked down and the thieves are trapped somewhere inside. She certainly doesn't need help from any "Viridian City Police Woman", implying an insult that infuriates Viridian Jenny, causing the two to glare lasers at each other... literally! Literally metaphorically!
Outside, Officers move Growlithes about, while inside we spot that amongst those held inside are Rhonda the Reporter and Jack the fat-ass Boom Mic Operator! But while they and others stand around depressed and concerned about their temporary imprisonment, Meowth stares out a window from inside a storage room, concerned about a possible permanent one. He turns and tells Jesse that they're surrounded and trapped, and won't get out in one piece, horrifying James who declares that he needs to be in one piece! Jesse isn't worried though, she is in fact spoiling for a fight, declaring that they'll kick and punch and fight their way clear! In fact James and Meowth have to physically restrain her as she prepares to fight these theoretical policemen surrounding them.
James warns that they will be paid a lot more for getting the Adamant Orb out of the museum in one piece. Paid? Are they doing this operation freelance for some rich industrialist billionaire OTHER than Giovanni. Jesse promptly drops the orb, which Meowth tries to catch only for it to bounce, causing Wobbuffet to come leaping out of the shadows where it was hiding just waiting for an opportunity to leap out and salute at someone. The orb bounces out of its arms too, and it falls towards the ground... only for Mime Jr. to grab it, much to Team Rocket's relief.
Back at the crime scene, the twerps are learning that the Adamant Orb is said to greatly increase the power of the Legendary Pokémon Dialga, which is said to be able to control Time (if it can control time, would you WANT it to have any more power?) while its counterpart Palkia was said to be capable of controlling space.
Gardenia explains that Dialga and Palkia formed the Sinnoh Region according to the legend, in fact some say it was the entire world that they created. The Adamant Orb was found in one of many shrines to these ancient Pokémon/Gods, and this leads to Brock and Dawn suffering an existential theological crisis (as often happens on kids cartoons) as they try to figure out where the Pokémon came from if they created the world... which came first? What is the nature of self? Who am I? Who are you? Who are we all? I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA! DID MAN MAKE GOD OR GOD MAKE MAN! I CUT MYSELF TO FEEEEEEEL!
Gardenia tries some pop psychology/para-poetry to explain their disturbing questions on the nature of reality itself, declaring that it is in trying to discover more about Pokémon that we discover more about ourselves, woman and man.
Brock declares that the poetry was beautiful, and then Dawn declares that Gardenia has "been" with Nando, causing her to blush furiously and gulp. Dawn was probably being innocent, meaning that Gardenia's battles with Nando caused her to pick up some poetry, and missing that Gardenia's reaction is probably more akin to the fact that the ten year old girl just picked up on the fact that Nando been tapping that ass.
The twerps decide they have to capture the real crooks and will use their Pokémon to do that. Viridian Jenny steps up to say the key is to find the Sunflora, and Brock collapses down into a hunch, moaning that it is so difficult to choose between truth and justice.... or in other words, he is despairing of finding a way to get both Jennys into the sack at the same time.
Oh Brock, you have to learn to crawl before you learn to run.
Croagunk stands and croaks behind him, delighting in his pain, while Gardenia remains clueless as to Brock's horniness and the twerps call out their Pokémon to find the Sunflora.
Meanwhile in the interrogation room, Officer Jenny is proving that while she may be corrupt, she's also too lazy to even INTERROGATE Nando. She simply sits staring at him, not even smacking him around the face with a phonebook a little to loosen him up. A male officer approaches, telling Jenny about what the twerps, Gardenia and Viridian Jenny are doing, infuriating her into action at last. She tells her men to get out there and find Sunflora before the off-duty cop, insane Gym Leader and trio of small children do and make them look REALLY bad.
Two officers locate Sunflora in an exhibit room (as opposed to a non-exhibit room?) and try to grab it, only for it to fire two seeds in front of them. When they stand on them, vines wrap around their legs and - knowing that this is a Japanese cartoon - the two officers freak out at the possibility of tentacle rape and try desperately to shake the vines off.
Meanwhile, Aipom and Turtwig strut their way angrily down the halls of the museum, doing their best to look badass and then spotting the Sunflora. They try to chase it and get the same Leech Seed action on them, while Officer Jenny is getting word from her officers about what has happened to them. She sets out to find it herself, telling Nando this is PROOF that Sunflora is guilty, ignoring his almost bored response that it was just protecting itself.
Inside the storage room where Team Rocket is hiding, two officers step in to look around, not seeing Team Rocket hiding up in the rafters. They leave, slamming the door and causing the trio to plummet to the floor, one after the other, Jesse's legs spread wide, as the law requires.
As Jesse snaps angrily at them for not falling "lighter" despite the fact she is the one who landed on them, Sunflora watches from a ventilation shaft it has hidden inside. It's leaves start glowing as it prepares to unleash justice on their asses, then turns as it realises that it is no longer alone. Pikachu and Piplup try to tell it to come with them, but it shows them Team Rocket, and they watch as James figures out that removing Meowth's Sunflora disguise will allow them to move around freely. Meowth moans that it took forever to get the outfit on, and Jesse and James leap on top of him, tearing the costume to shreds, before grabbing their own costumes in hand and ripping them free from their bodies, revealing full HARDCORE NUDITY!
Well okay, not so much hardcore nudity as no nudity at all.
Jesse growls that this won't work at all, recognising their Team Rocket uniforms aren't exactly upstanding citizen material. They rush off-camera and return dressed up as a businessman and woman, having apparently pulled these costumes out of... well, you don't want to know from where. Wobbuffet leaps out to salute in delight and Jesse calls it back into its Pokeball, while up in the vent, Piplup wants to leap forward and take them on itself, only to get dragged back by Pikachu. The two argue over the proper course of action, their words expressed to us the viewer in the form of delightful little speech bubbles.
Pikachu rushes off to find Ash, while James wraps the Adamant Orb up in the remains of the Sunflora outfit and shoves it up his coat to reveal a "respectable paunch".
Piplup can't take it any longer and Pecks through the vent grate, wanting to fight. James calls out Cacnea (which immediately hugs his paunch) and has it blast Piplup and Sunflora back, while elsewhere Pikachu leads all the Pokémon, the twerps, Gardenia and Viridian Jenny towards the storage room.
Team Rocket are legging it the other way when they run into them, Pikachu pulling up short as it stares at the two respectable business people - one with a respectable paunch! They and their Meowth walking casually past them, eyes shut to generate an aura of wealth and respectability. They move on past, only for Piplup and Sunflora to show up, spotting the trio escaping. Sunflora launches itself forward, arm/leaves glowing white as it runs by and apparently crotch punches all three!
Apparently it punched their crotches so hard that Jesse and James suits fall entirely off of their bodies and explode into shreds, leaving nothing behind but HARDCORE NUDITY.... or rather, no nudity at all.
Gardenia spots the Adamant Orb flying through the air, but Wobbuffet catches it with one arm while Meowth pulls on the remains of his Sunflora outfit again for absolutely no reason at all! Since the jig is up, Team Rocket figure why not deliver their motto, during which Meowth... removes the Sunflora outfit!
"That whining can't fool my ear!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"In yer ear!"
"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace."
"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, our work is complete."
"Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Meowth, dat's a name!"
"Putting the do-gooders in their place."
"Team Rocket!"
"We're in your face!" they finish together, Wobbuffet slides happily into frame with the Adamant Orb.
Viridian Jenny is surprised, that's not the same motto she heard them use in the past! They laugh at her for living in the past, and James promptly drops the Adamant Orb, saved only by Meowth's quick hands. They explain they don't care what it is worth, they only know what it is worth to them, they were commissioned by a fashionably dressed fan of Team Rocket's to steal it for "his collection of rocks".
The Pokémon surround Team Rocket much to their dismay, and then suddenly a strange edit sees the camera cuts from a black fade to Brock looking scared of Croagunk (you would too if you were him) while James calls out Cacnea and Carnivine only to get cuddle/bitten combo'ed by them. Gardenia is in love all over again to see them, while Dawn snaps at her to stop appreciating them and start fighting them!
Jesse grabs up the Adamant Orb which enrages Gardenia, who apparently takes this as a cue that Jesse doesn't like Grass Types. Jesse quips that diamonds are a girl's best friend, while the twerps agonise over what to do - if they attack, they run the risk of shattering the Adamant Orb. Viridian Jenny says she wishes Eterna Jenny was here (to take the official blame when it all goes wrong) and lo and behold, there she is!
She admits to Viridian Jenny that she was wrong, and asks for her forgiveness while Brock stands behind them with a giant ass grin on his face, imagining them naked and rubbing oil onto each other.
Team Rocket are still confident though, claiming that they can't be attacked, but Stunky changes all of that, leaping up on its front legs (like some species of skunks are wont to do) and blasting an attack at them. Wobbuffet leaps into the way to Counter, and the attack hits, dissipates and... sends an acrid stench throughout the entire room!
It farted on them! Eek The Cat farted on Team Rocket!
Jesse lets the Adamant Orb slip, but Gardenia's Turtwig's Leafstorm lets it fall back into Gardenia's hands. Jesse can't understand why the attack didn't get countered and Jenny explains that it isn't an attack, but a defence tactic used by Stunky that lasts for.... 24 HOURS!
Meowth has had enough, declaring he is booking, and takes off followed by James and Jesse. They rush outside, finding their way blocked by a massive contingent of police offices... who promptly clear a path once they get a sniff of the stench covering Team Rocket for the next day at least.
The twerps, Gardenia and the Jennys step outside, apparently not coated in the stench themselves, and Eterna Jenny admits she may have overdone it. Viridian Jenny laughs that overdoing it is something that ALL Jennys do.
As the sun sets, they stand outside the museum, Eterna Jenny thanking Nando for his "help", and Ash asks Nando if the story about Dialga and Palkia is true. Nando responds in the best way one can on a kids cartoon, by telling of the churning empty chaos of the Universe before creation, explaining the theological concepts of something from nothing, the splitting of one into many, and the concept of God as "The One."
And the twerps don't have a fucking clue what the fuck he is talking about, so Dawn slides her hands over her crotch while everyone else just smiles and pretends to know what is going on.
Gardenia puts her hand on Ash's shoulder and declares that these theological discussions make perfect sense to her, and Ash says,"ME TOO!" a little too enthusiastically, before being asked to come along tomorrow for his shot at the Eterna City Gym Badge.
But that still leaves the question of WHO was behind Team Rocket's attempted theft of the Adamant Orb. We know it was whoever was inside the odd helicopter seen earlier in the episode, the one with what looked like a G on the side. But who is that? The twerps and Jennys speculate amongst themselves who it could have been - other members of Team Rocket like Butch and Cassidy? Or a Pokémon Hunter like J? Or something.... worse.
Well, one thing is for sure, there isn't much worse than that haircut!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "We'll never get out of here in one piece!" "But I need to be in one piece!"
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