497: All Dressed Up With Somewhere To Go!
Dodgy Synopsis
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501: Suki Desu! Pokémon Narikiri Taikai!
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POKÉMON COSPLAY!
Yes, apparently it's the Pokémon Dress Up Contest, the fashion event of the season (what a shitty season) where Pokémon dress up as other Pokémon. The woman presenting the video package seems oddly familiar, but it's hard to say because she's wearing a bizarre fish helmet, just because.
The Grand Prize is a special Pokémon Egg, and the reporter is..... Rhonda? Yep, it's the nosy reporter who is living in journalism hell as the on-scene reporter for human interest stories. As always, she's relying on her lousy film crew including Jack Fatass the Boom Mic Operator... who proceeds to jam his long fuzzy thing into her face.
Hey, that maybe how some people make their way in journalism, but not Rhonda! She leaps up and screams at him for his incompetence, only for it to be pointed out she is still on the air, so she quickly recovers and tells her viewers to stay tuned to Sinnoh Now.
Welp, looks like today the twerps will be....
Sinnoh Now presents the show with Rhonda rushing in dressed up in her ridiculous outfit again. She welcomes the live audience and thanks the Pokémon Fan Club for sponsoring the event. Today's judges are Mr. Sukizo, Nurse Joy (in a Chansey helmet) and Officer Jenny (in a Growlithe helmet). Sukizo stands sandwiched between the two objects of Brock's affections (let's be honest, the FOUR objects of his affections), turns to peer at both of the women combining the fetish of uniforms AND costumes and declares that it is, of course, remarkable.
The twerps sit amongst the audience, Dawn explaining this is always the top rating program of the year. Rhonda returns to tell everyone they're going to switch on their Registration Cam now to see how things are going, and we see..... Team Cowboy!
Yep, it's Team Rocket, Jesse eagerly leaping forward when she realises she is on live. She pushes out her chest, gives her hips a twitch (seriously!) and tells everyone she is "sultry" actress Kathreen Jesseburn, and she means to win the contest.... until Rhonda points out it is a contest for Pokémon, not humans!
Jesse is shocked to hear she is missing out on a golden opportunity to show off her acting talent, but then Rhonda peers closer, recognising her as another "aspiring actress" they had a run in with recently. Jesse gasps and twists around so the camera is focused on her ass (lucky camera) and James scoops up Mime Jr. and leaps in front of her (BOO!), assuring Rhonda that Mime. Jr means to win the whole thing.
This causes Jesse to freak out at being overshadowed, hauling up Meowth and assuring the audience watching that he will be the one to win... only for the Boom Mic operator to drop his mic on her head.
As an advertisement for the Poketch plays, Ash leads the twerps in a mad dash for the registration desk. He and the others have suddenly gotten the deep, familiar urge to register at the last minute and destroy the hopes and dreams of people who have spent their entire lives training for this moment. Dawn gets excited at the thought of winning the Mysterious Pokémon Egg as well, but not as much as Brock, who imagines not only the glory of victory, but the spoils as well. In his dreams, he sees Joy and Jenny giving him a peck on the cheek (even in his fantasies he doesn't get any) and chases after Ash towards the Registration Desk.
But Dawn calls out to them to hold it, explaining they can only use one Pokémon, so they're going to have to make a choice... which Pokémon will they use? Turtwig? Aipom? Staravia? Ash freaks out as he tries to think of ways to dress up his Pokémon, the stress of having to use his mind too much for him to handle. Luckily the true brains of the operation - Pikachu - is ready to step up to the plate, offering to do the job and making a show of impersonating different Pokémon - Wobbuffet, Loudred and many others.
Ash is delighted, and Buneary is in love - especially after Pikachu impersonates Buneary. Dawn chooses Piplup, while Brock picks Croagunk and..... Sudowoodo freaks out, then salutes.
Meanwhile contestants have started contesting, including Swalot attempting to be a Grimer and not impressing the judges, and..... HOLY SHIT!
HOLY SHIT! IT'S KOFFING DRESSED AS TOGEPI! WHAT BIZARRE BLASPHEMY BE THIS!?!
More continue, like a Gyarados dressed as a Caterpie, a Kakuna as a Crawdaunt; A Doduo as a Dodrio (that one is just sad and pathetic); and then Brock emerges with Croagunk... dressed as a Politoed!
The crowd seems to like it though and Brock passes with flying colours. Then Jesse comes in with Meowth dressed perfectly as a Weavile and Jesse is astonished by the crowd's reaction. She then tells them that Meowth can impersonate anything and uses Meowth's ability to speak English to say various Pokémon names, making them all think he's a genius. And then it's Mime Jr. and "Jameson" for a Mime Jr. Mimic Moment!
Mime impersonates Claydol, then Chikorita.... but its impersonations aren't actually that good. Luckily for it, it's cute! The girls in the audience squeal and squeak in delight, which is good for a pass from the Judges. Next is last year's winner - a singing Chatot that sings Jigglypuff's theme song (wait till the lawyers hear about this!). Dawn comes in next with Piplup dressed up as a Weedle, and it's a pretty good impersonation too!
Only Piplup gets a bit too excited, forgetting exactly what kind of Contest this is. It leaps up and fires off a Bubblebeam, causing it to be eliminated since Weedles can't do Bubble Beams... they can't do Bubblebeams at all!
Ash comes in next, and Pikachu shows off its different impersonations, proving a big hit with the audience... and a big hit for Rhonda's face when the boom mic once again smacks her in the head.
Backstage they all wait to hear who is going to make it into the Finals. Jesse watches James tossing about Mime Jr. in delight and tells Meowth that they need to really knock it up a notch for the finals. She wants him to be more about the visuals that the audio, so she tosses him into his old Sunflora costume, the torturous looking outfit that makes it look like Meowth has had his eyes stitched shut. Meowth does recognise he has gotten "rave reviews" in it though, and suggests to Jesse that if they win the egg, they can give it to the Boss. As the endorphins in his brain kick in to combat the sheer agony of the outfit he is wearing, he spirals into another patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni fantasy, imagining the Boss waking up in bed next to the egg and smiling.... only for Jesse to puncture his fantasy land by shouting that they can't just give over an egg without knowing what is inside it first! They'll need to keep it for awhile first to see what hatches, and makes no bones about getting in Meowth's face about it.
The Finalists are announced - Jesse and Meowth; James and Mime Jr.; Brock and Croagunk; Ash and Pikachu; and that one jerk and his singing Chatot.
Dawn sits in the crowd watching with Piplup, lying to it and telling that they'll make it to the finals next year. Meanwhile, Brock stares at Croagunk, wondering how they made it that far just doing Politoed.
Chatot kicks things off singing the Jigglypuff song, but in a scripted segment, its trainer kneels down and tells it that everyone is tired of hearing that song. "Everyone?" asks Chatot, hitting its line perfectly, and its trainer suggest it try singing like Lapras (ugh, yeah that's just what we need, a squealing moaning whining whistle) and so it sings LALALA to EXACTLY the same tune as the Jigglypuff song. The crowd eats this shit up for some reason, only Jesse seeming to realise it's exactly the same tune. Croagunk derisively claps away as Chatot sings, while Meowth tells Jesse that they don't actually have to win, just get the egg! Jesse realises he's right and figures no time like the present, so points off in the distance and cries out to everyone to look over somewhere else... and everyone does!
Everyone that is but Croagunk, which watches Meowth grab the egg and huddle over it to hide it from view. Jesse grabs a protesting James and starts hauling him away, while Croagunk moves over to the toppled, empty egg-case and points it out to Brock. Realising that the egg is - in fact - gone, he points at the retreating Jesse and James (Jesse has told a confused Rhonda that they're "taking a walk") and accuses them. They quickly cheese it, Rhonda yelling at them to come back.
Officer Jenny sends out a Growlithe which blocks their escape, and James complains to Jesse that all she needed to do was let him win and the egg was theirs. But she'll hear none of it, kicking off their motto, though James isn't too enthusiastic since he thought he could win, and Jesse giggling in the background - channelling Robert Crumb as she spins about then leans backwards and raises one leg in a ridiculously exaggerated stride. Jesse leaning back in a short skirt with her legs spread doesn't cheer James up any though.... though he'd be the only one it didn't.
"That growling of Growlithe once filled us with fear!" "....though who growls louder is not all that clear...."
"On the wind!"
"....past the stars...."
"And in yer ear!"
"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace."
"....dashing hope, putting fear in its place...."
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"....when everything's worse, our work is complete.... and how much worse can it get?"
"Mmmmm, Jesse!"
"....James...."
"Meowth, now dat's a name!"
"Putting the do-gooders in their place."
"....Team Rocket...."
"We're in your face!" they finish together, James despondently.
"WOBBBBBB-UFFET!" adds Wobbuffet happily, before Mime Jr mimicks James' depressed state.
Ash tells them to give the egg back, but Jesse's response oddly enough is not to suddenly see the error of her ways and beg the forgiveness of society. She uses Seviper to throw up a Haze, cleared quickly by Ash's Staravia. They chase after Team Rocket who have gotten past Growlithe and outside to their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon. Jesse hugs the egg while James yells at the twerps that he would have won if they'd stuck around, and him and Mime Jr. hug each other in shared delight at their belief in each other.
Rhonda chases the balloon in her news helicopter, getting all the action on film while the twerps run underneath, Ash shouting for Pikachu to use Thunderbolt, only for Brock to warn that doing this could damage the egg. Ash's response is to have Staravia instead sweep in with Wing Attack to tear open the balloon which is well over 100 feet in the air, while James and Jesse argue over what could have been with the Contest. Dustox blasts at Staravia to keep it clear of the balloon, while Mime Jr. mimics Piplup's Bubblebeams to keep them from being knocked out of the sky. Running along, Brock yells at Croagunk to help, and then hops along in disbelief as he realises that Croagunk is STILL clapping along to the rhythm of a song that stopped a long time earlier.
Rhonda is impressed by Mime Jr's Mimic, but Jesse grunts that she has seen better, causing James to try and impress her by having Mime Jr use Teeter Dance.... which is about the worst idea since putting a giant steampowered mechanical spider in a western.
The Teeter Dance affects only Meowth and Dustox, while the twerps are far enough distant to be unaffected. The Egg is knocked clear of the basket and falls towards the ground, Dawn's Buneary leaping up and catching it then bouncing down to safety. With the egg clear, Ash believes he can blast two humans and three Pokémon with millions of volts of electricity with a clear conscience, and does just that very thing, causing Jesse and James to hug in fear, crotches as far away from each other as they can possibly be while screaming for Momma. And then next thing you know, Team Rocket is blasting off again!
Rhonda has seen it - and broadcast it live - from her ACTION NEWS HELICOPTER, but now that the real news story is over, she returns to her Human Interest purgatory - the Dress Up Contest. It's come down to the Judge's deciding between Ash, Brock and Jerkface McChatot's Trainer. Chatot cries out that it has won! But it's not a Judge, while Ash just looks focused - justifiably confident that he'll get to hear once again that he has easily destroyed the hopes and dreams of someone who has worked their entire life for this moment. The spotlight shines, Croagunk is STILL clapping, and the winner is declared.....
Brock is shocked, unable to believe that their one-trick pony show pulled off the victory. But as is explained - Croagunk spent the ENTIRE contest in character, never stopping its imitation of a Politoed, and it was this dedication that got it the win. Brock is presented with the Egg (but no kiss from Joy or Jenny) with a slightly befuddled, bemused look on his face, not sure how the hell he won anything when he's just a supporting character there to provide food to his retarded friends and the odd comic moment lusting after a girl. To finish things off, Rhonda closes out the show the same way she started it, with Jack the Boom Mic Operator's big, long black rod slamming into her face.
That's show business!
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