495: The Grass-Type Is Always Greener!
Dodgy Synopsis
|
499: Naetoru tai Naetoru! Supido Taiketsu!
|
Mothim continues on its flight, arriving at a tree with honey coming out of it. Cheryl is delighted; she's FINALLY discovered the enchanted honey that her Grandfather has been searching for all his life..... until they realise it's actually the same tree where Cheryl smeared the honey in yesterday's episode.
Since this episode directly follows on from the end of the previous, the sun is almost all set now and it's getting dark. They camp out for the night, and the next day Mothim is once more excited and leads the twerps on a merry chase. Cheryl is again convinced it is leading them to the enchanted honey until she gets entangled in vines, which - much like tentacles - are a Japanese girl's natural enemy in the wild. Ash calls out Turtwig to cut her down with Razor Leaf, and she lands ass first on Brock's head, leaving him yet one step closer but still eternally far from losing his virginity.
They continue on after hearing Mothim's hideous braying cry in the distance. They head after it, finding no sign of the enchanted honey, just shrubs. Then Mothim plunges into the grass and knocks loose a Pokémon Dawn has never seen before - a Gloom. She asks what it is, and gets an answer from... a mysterious lady!
Panicking, Gloom lets out a hideous stench and rushes away, leaving the twerps and Pokémon gasping in horror. The mysterious lady grins that she was hoping to catch the Gloom but OH MY GOD IT'S A FUCKING TURTWIG!
She leaps down and grabs Turtwig up in a massive hug, excited to see it. She asks Ash if it his, and Ash introduces himself and Turtwig before cutting into regular spiel about wanting to battle at the Eterna Gym and working hard and.... then Brock leaps in to introduce himself to the lady - Gardenia - proclaiming that his gloom would be lifted by finding her Gloom and.... he gets it right in the ass from Croagunk!
It drags him away, Gardenia's immediate reaction to this bizarre turn of events to.... ask Ash for a battle! Dawn notes they're kind of in the middle of helping last episode's character of the day, they don't have time to deal with today's as well! Cheryl insists it is okay though, and when Gardenia tells Ash that she uses Grass Types just like the Eterna Gym Leader... that's all Ash needed to hear!
Meanwhile, Team Rocket trudge through the forest hoping to find either twerps or honey or both or something... only for Jesse to trip over a Kakuna, causing more to drop down and immediately evolve into Beedrills... pissed off Beedrills!
But as Team Rocket cheese it, Ash and Gardenia are getting ready to throw down. Ash is using Turtwig, and Gardenia calls out Cherubi, a... well... it's a cherry.
Turtwig tries a Tackle, knocking Cherubi backwards, then smacks it around with Razor Leaf as Gardenia watches with delight before calling the terrified cherry with the dead conjoined foetus twin attached to its face back, then sends in.... Turtwig!
Ash has Turtwig try Tackle, but as fast as it is, Gardenia's Turtwig is faster and easily dodges. Ash figures that if Tackle didn't work, maybe he should cleverly change up his tactics by using.... TACKLE! Turtwig charges, and runs headfirst.... into a tree! Gardenia's Turtwig smacks Turtwig with Leech Seed, then a Tackle directly in the nuts.... and Ash's Turtwig loses! Brock then proclaims with great solemnity that he suspects that maybe it's possible that perhaps Gardenia's Turtwig was slightly overall somewhat faster (perhaps!) than Ash's.
Ash sends in Staravia next, and it comes in instantly with a Wing Attack.... but Turtwig dodges! Staravia tries Wing Attack several more times, but each time Turtwig dodges, freaking out Ash who demands an Aerial Ace..... and it dodges AGAIN! Staravia crashes into and through the bushes, come back around and... straight into a Leaf Storm. Leaves pummel into Staravia over and over.... and over and over and over and over and over and over till Staravia's twitching corpse can't even manage the random firing of synapses to cause the involuntary twitching of nerves to move parts of its otherwise unconscious body.
Ash calls back Staravia and congratulates it on getting its ass kicked, while Cheryl introduces herself to Gardenia, and Mothim starts farting in her face.... which she seems to enjoy.
That night at the campsite, Cheryl and Gardenia discuss the legend of the Amber Castle, Cheryl explaining she is searching for it because it is something her Grandfather never managed to find. Gardenia turns out to be useful, as she notes that Combee help to produce Enchanted Honey and she can show them a "Combee Wall" where the Pokémon stack the food they gather. Cheryl is concerned that this is asking too much from Gardenia, who happily insists, noting that she did kind of slow them down today by coming out of nowhere and requesting a battle. Suddenly Cheryl turns and starts staring at nothing in the sky and babbling another of her Grandfather's bullshit sayings. She mumbles away about how witnessing a Pokémon battle means good things will happen to you, while a clearly confused Gardenia just makes,"Huh? Hhhuuh?" noises in the background.
The next day.... MUMMIES!
Yep, Team Rocket are entirely bandaged up (including Jesse's hair!) from the Beedrill attack yesterday. They muttering muffled insults at each other as they misunderstand everything they say. Meowth overhears the twerps and shuts them up, and they peek through the bushes and spot them being lead on by Gardenia, who is doing a far better job than the useless Mothim. They follow the twerps quietly... until James collapses and the twerps turn in time to see... well, it's a bizarre scene! The three bandaged criminals don't try to explain, they just do their motto!
"Listen, is that confusion I hear?"
"Through tape it speaks loud and clear!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"In yer ear!"
"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace."
"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, our work is complete."
"Jesse!" shouts Jesse clearly, tearing her bandages away, quickly followed by James and Meowth.
"And James!"
"Meowth, dat's a name!"
"Putting the do-gooders in their place."
"Team Rocket!"
"We're in your face!" they finish together.
James sends out Carnivine instantly, which just as instantly turns and bites down on his head, and the-
HOLY FUCK IT'S A CARNIVINE!
"WHAT A WHACK!" gasps Meowth, while Gardenia excitedly tries to convince Ash to trade his Carnivine for a Bellossom or Vileplume.... and James isn't very interested. The twerps warn her that she doesn't want to get involved with bad guys like Team Rocket and she surprises them by angrily proclaiming that they're NOT bad guys!
She insists anyone with a Grass Pokémon must be a good guy, and then tells James she'll trade him a Victreebel! James has a 'Nam flashback to the pain of yesteryear when Victreebel used to try to digest his head in its gaping maw, screeching as it did so. Oddly enough, he seems to remember this very fondly! He claims that there was nothing like a Victreebel scalp massage, but Meowth and Jesse bring him back to present. Jesse snaps angrily that they're after Mothim and the enchanted honey, and when Cheryl declares that isn't nice, Jesse jumps crotch first into the camera (Bless that woman) to declare that if you want something nice, warm, fuzzy and furry.... get a Pichu!
James finally succeeds in sending Carnivine in to battle.... and Gardenia leaps forward with love in her eyes to take the full brunt of the bite, enjoying the sensation!
Brock roars that he'll save her... and Dawn just flat out punches him right in the face and sends him careening into a tree, concussed and in serious pain.
Gardenia gasps that Carnivine is a real hunk, and James insists that she spit that twerp out! Knocked clear, Gardenia moans with love as her brain tries to react to the digestive saliva running through it. Cheryl thanks her for taking the shot for Mothim, and a delighted Gardenia moans happily, asking her,"You have a Mothim?" As the twerps stare in shock at this bizarre, delightfully dodgy specimen of a woman, Jesse snaps at Meowth that is about time for some kind of robot, and he points out they don't have any money. She growls that this is no real excuse, and he counters that she spent their cash on her manicure before the last contest, and at least she still has nice nails to show for it.
"I'M WEARING GLOVES!" she screams, her head huge. Meowth's cat instincts take over and he scrambles away to hide underneath something and poke his head out to see what was going on. Seviper comes out, then Cacnea, an-
HOLY FUCK IT'S A CACNEA!
Gardenia hugs it happily, then shows her back and asks for a Pin Missile backrub... and gets it! She moans in delight (oh dear) as the missiles pound against her back, and James cries out in frustration while Jesse just looks pissed. He tags Jesse in (seriously!) and Seviper tries a Poison tail, only for Gardenia to call out her Turtwig, which dodges the tail and bites it... to humorous results!
Turtwig then blasts Cacnea's Pin Missile with Leaf Storm and sends it crashing into the basket of Team Rocket's Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, which Meowth has only just brought along in a futile attempt to appease Jesse. They try to cheese it, but the dangerously unbalanced Gardenia screams she can't live without HER Carnivine and Cacnea. James roars they are HIS, before a metallic arm launches out of the basket and grabs at Mothim, Brock heroically knocking a perfectly safe and unthreatened Cheryl to the ground. As Mothim is hauled up, Gardenia has Turtwig use Leech Seed on the metal arm to shatter it (that doesn't make a lick of sense!) and then Pikachu sends Team Rocket blasting off again! James soars through the air wishing for a Victreebel scalp massage, insisting to a furious Jesse that he has nothing but fond memories of the monstrous screeching Pokémon. Gardenia is impressed by the power of Pikachu, saying she can't believe how well trained it is. She ALMOST suggests trading in Pikachu as well, before laughing it off and changing her bizarre, unbalanced mind.
As Cheryl thanks Gardenia, Mothim gets excited and leads them on another chase, and they run through the forest to discover the Pollen Flowers where the Combee can be found. A Nuzleaf leaps down out of the flowers and Gardenia proclaims it is a Messenger Nuzleaf (oh, they have those now?), and takes a message from it, reads it and declares something has come up, says goodbye and runs away, leaving behind some perplexed twerps.
But then they're distracted by Mothim's horrific braying. It has spotted a Combee, which is... well it's a freaky honeycomb shaped bee with three faces! It heads off, and the twerps, Cheryl and Mothim give chase. It ain't over yet, Gentle Dodgers, maybe we WILL see that Amber Castle after all. But for now, this episode is...
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Ya got dat manicure for da contest and you still got nice nails to show for it!" "I'M. WEARING. GLOVES NOW!"
|
|
