485: Ya See We Want An Evolution!
Dodgy Synopsis
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488: Saikyo no Koikingu to Mottomo Utsukushi Hinbasu!
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Holy crap, what the hell is Team Rocket pulling? Well you see, simply put, ask them and they'll sing (yes sing, as they do during the title card)....
The episode begins with Team Rocker trudging down a dirt road complaining about how the Sinnoh Region has been a complete bust for them and then suddenly, out of nowhere.... MEXICAN MAGIKARP SALESMAN!
He tosses a Magikarp into James' face and cuts into his spiel with delight, only to have the Magikarp thrown back as Team Rocket angrily denounce him for being a sham and a charlatan... and he laughs that he loves repeat customers! Before they know it (and after trying to sell them a Feebas!), they're being sucked in by the shyster all over again, as he whips out a cardboard box and tells them that inside they'll find a Pokémon Evolution Machine! James is shocked and tried to take a peek inside, but Mexican Magikarp Salesman slaps the box shut and tells him no peeking, explaining it is the result of years of top secret work, and hundreds of scientists have been working on this device, complete with a fantasy sequence where a Stan Lee-looking intense scientist declares he has created the Evolution Machine! .......and then the company went bankrupt!
But Mexican Magikarp Salesman to the rescue! He insists that he helped the left-over workers create their machine and in turn they gave him the means to make them, and now he is selling those means, complete with a moneyback guarantee!
James gasps it is like a science gift he had as a child, and we see wickle kiddy James playing with his devices, and then fully grown James declaring with delight that he'll buy it! The Mexican Magikarp Salesman - in full on infomercial mode - takes the cash, gives them the manual and then zooms away.... then returns and gives his final warning. The machine needs a week to charge up, so they can't use it for a week after they've built it! And with that, it's Mexican Magikarp Salesman.... AWAAAY!
Meanwhile, the twerps have returned to Jubilife City to discover how to get to Eterna City where the next Gym Battle will be. A reporter and cameraman stop them (this time NOT Jesse and James in poor disguises) and ask Ash if he would be willing to force the evolution of his Pokémon through mechanical means, and dumbfounded he replies of course not! The reporter then declares that he must be a member of the B Button League (a delightful nod to the Pokémon Games, Gentle Dodgers), which is a league of Pokémon Coordinators who try to win ribbons using Pokémon without evolving.... and they have the world's strongest Magikarp and Feebas!
The twerps head to the B Button League Headquarters and meet a couple of tall, pretty girls - Hayley (the leader) and her sister Arley (God what a terrible name) - which causes Brock's lip to go numb and hang low before he leaps forward and begins his romantic spiel, only for his ass to go numb when Croagunk appears to jab him.
IN.
THE.
ASS!
It drags him away to do who knows what (no one wants to know the horrors that lurk in Peter Lorre's deepest, darkest mind).
A short time later, a recovered Brock joins the twerps and is taken by Hayley and Arley to show off their powerful Magikarp and Feebas. A giant pool lifts up out of the ground and the ugly, usually useless Pokémon leap up and flails about out of the water. Hayley explains that there is more to a Pokémon than just evolving them, and they love their Magikarp and Feebas and don't want to evolve them into Gyarados and Milotic, despite that making them naturally more powerful and learn new moves. Ash admits that he wouldn't want Pikachu to change either, and asks if he can face off against Magikarp with Pikachu. But Dawn interrupts, saying she wants to see how Piplup fares both in Water AND against a strong Magikarp. She calls out Piplup, but before they can battle, a NEW League shows up, the C Button League! And the C stands for..... boobs!?!
Having pulled out their shirts to mimic the stonking great tits of their Founder, Jesse, James and Meowth introduce themselves and claim they're here to take the B Button League a Sinnoh Step further. Jesse tells Hayley and Arley that she knows that the B in their name stands for Bictory, and James has to haul her away to remind her that Victory starts with a V, not a B. So what does the B stand for? Bulbasaur? Blackmail? Big Blabbermouth? Or beauty? Beauty! BINGO!
Harley and Arley ask what the C stands for and Jesse freaks out about getting put on the spot, then insists that the C stands for C-Side SLUGGERS! SHE SELLS C-Shells by the C by the C by the C-Shore League!
James thrusts her angrily out of the way and explains that the C stands for Crystal Button! They ask if they can do an expose on the B-Buttoners and Meowth asks if can take some pictures with his camera, they want to watch Piplup battle Magikarp.
Shortly after, the two trainers stand on opposite planks ready to fight while Team Rocket sit behind the twerps waiting for the right moment to strike. Piplup dives into the water and chases Magikarp trying to hit Peck, but Magikarp is able to dodge, jump high out of the water, evade Bubble and tackle Piplup against the base of the pool, off of the walls and then high into the air! Piplup is knocked out without scoring a shot, its watery corpse rising to the surface of the pool and giving children all over the world horrific nightmares! Ash is hugely impressed, leaping up and shouting he wants a crack at that!
The battle over and Piplup retrieved, Dawn says that no matter how powerful Magikarp is, it must be weak against Electric Attacks. But when Pikachu fires Thunderbolt, Magikarp somersaults out of the water and then smacks Pikachu with its tail back against the wall. Jesse realises that with as strong as that Magikarp is... if it were to evolve into Gyarados then it would wreak havoc on a fearful population as Giga-Gyarados!
Meanwhile, Pikachu leaps high towards Magikarp in the air, which comes flying down for a massive Tackle only to hit full blast into Pikachu's Iron Tail. Both Pokémon crash into the water, Pikachu dragging itself up onto a floating platform while Magikarp surfaces obviously exhausted. The two are clearly knackered, and Dawn leaps up to tell Brock he was right when he said that their attacks would both be strong, and then realises he's gone! He's zoomed back up to the ladies to declare that they've given him a jolt like he'd never felt before, and then the lie is proven to those words as once again Croagunk jams something purple tipped into his ass, leaving network censors in a frothing pile of.... confusion.
The pool is lowered and Team Rocket leaps up to the twerps and the B Button League members to tell them that they're eager to take a photo of Magikarp for the cover of their magazine. Jesse insists that the D Button League will be excited to see it, and James hisses at her that she means C, and she giggles that in her excitement, she'd gotten one letter ahead of herself.
Hayley really wanted to show off her Feebas as well, and the twerps tell her that they're sure it'll be awesome. Before then though, Hayley offers them lunch, and Arley turns to make the same offer to the C Button League and realises... Team Rocket really aren't subtle. Catching them in the process of dropping the powerful Pokémon into a sack, the twerps demand to know what they hell they think they're doing. So Team Rocket do what they do best..... pose, rip off their clothes (HEY HEY!) and say their motto!
"That last was loud and clear."
"On the wind!"
"The stars!"
"In yer ear!"
"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace."
"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, then our work is complete."
"Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Meowth, now dat's a name!"
"Putting the do-gooders in their place."
"Team Rocket!"
"And we're in yer face!" they finish together.
Arley gets a good look at their chests (like you aren't, Gentle Dodgers!) and asks, confused, now they're the R Buttons?
Jesse roars they're Team Rocket, and they yell back they want their Pokémon returned! Brock in particular waxes strong that he will save the day... and Croagunk jabs him right in the nuts!
IN.
THE.
GODDAMN.
NUTS!
Dawn gasps that usually Croagunk is right, but is has over-reacted this time. Croagunk actually displays an emotion other than creepy smug self-satisfaction as it croaks in shock.... IT fucked up!?!
Team Rocket cheese it, chased by the twerps and Croagunk dragging Brock behind it as Team Rocket get into their Balloon and take off. Ash sends Staravia up to follow them while the twerps, Hayley and Arley head into the forest in their general direction. Staravia leads them into a wooden cabin and they discover.... Magikarp and Feebas inside the Pokémon Evolution Machine!
Team Rocket explain what they're planning to do, much to the horror of the B Button League. They beg them not to evolve their Pokémon, they've worked so hard to make them strong as they are! Ash calls for Pikachu to use Thunderbolt but as it leaps high, it is grabbed in a metallic insulated canister by metal arms, and Meowth hits what looks suspiciously like a Wii controller and Jesse sends Magikarp through the machine and evolves it into Gyarados!
Jesse can't understand it, and sends the Pokémon back through the machine, but again the results are the same, much to Team Rocket's shock. They look through their manual and declare that it must be a power problem, and pop Pikachu inside the machine to power it up and evolve it into Raichu, while Jesse channels Dr Frankenstein.
The machine shudders, flashes and... Pikachu falls out the bottom looking confused. Meowth spots a "disclaimer" written in tiny fine print - a Pokémon may not evolve for up to a week after being put through the machine, and repeated use may result in complete failure!
Jesse is outraged, stomping her boot next to Meowth and screaming that if she wasn't a lady.... and when James speaks up in defence of the (bankrupt... oh, and fictional, too!) company, she unleashes the full fury of The Bitch Goddess Queen on them, James sent reeling while Meowth cowers behind the manual in superstitious fear.
Ash tells Pikachu to use Iron Tail to break them free, but Meowth isn't ready to give up yet, checking out the manual and discovering that the machine ALSO doubles as a mecha-bot! Woah, that is cutting edge!
He hits a button on the suspiciously Wii-mote looking remote and the cabin explodes, sending the twerps and Team Rocket flying, while the machine flies into the air and turns into...
Holy shit, it turned into Voltron!
Team Rocket are amazed (as are the twerps) but then the head falls off, the body falls apart, and Meowth checks the manual again and discovers that the MechaBot only fully works after performing a successful evolution.... and Team Rocket finally figure out that they've been ripped off... again!
They find themselves confronted by a furious B Button League, and are first tackled by Magikarp, then Ice-Beamed by Feebas before being blasted by Pikachu and sent blasting off again! Though James has rediscovered his inner-child after tinkering with the design-kit!
And so the sun sets with the twerps leaving Jubilife City, waving goodbye to Hayley and Arley (apparently the ONLY members of the League, and also the only residents of the giant headquarters that could house hundreds of homeless) as they set off, having learned a valuable lesson.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Strange, I've been reading schematics for years." "I fink yer supposed ta know how to read words, foist!"
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