483: Twice Smitten, Once Shy!
Dodgy Synopsis
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487: Pachirisu Getto de... Daijobu!?
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Oh my, that doesn't sound like the thing that they're supposed to let into the OFFICIAL Pokémon episodes, surely they've not moved to a "Pokémon: After Dark" Episode. They won't get any love for that, after Baywatch: Nights, people are....
Today's episode begins with Dawn sitting glaring angrily at a fluffy Pachirisu, a kind of white squirrel with a giant fluffy tail. It turns and sees Dawn staring at it, and her mood changes immediately, grinning happily that it is SOOOO cute. Ash approaches Brock standing a little way behind Dawn, and asks what is going on, and Brock says he thinks Dawn wants to catch it. As Ash checks it out with Dextina, Pachirisu starts chasing its own tail eagerly about, catching it and licking it before cuddling up for sleepy-time-happy-good, which makes Dawn squee girlishly in delight.
She throws out Piplup and tells it to use Peck and.... Pachirisu blows a kiss at Piplup, confusing it and sending it staggering around confused. Dawn calls it back as Brock and Ash watch on, Brock trying his morning coffee or tea or whatever and just enjoying someone else using up all their energy so early in the morning. Buneary comes out and delivers some tight rabbit-punches to the small of Pachirisu's back, which is pretty goddamn rough if you ask me. It falls to the ground, gets back up and uses Spark to knock Buneary back. Buneary jumps back up and uses Ice Beam, but misses, and then Pachirisu uses a massive Spark that zaps EVERYONE! Including Ash and Brock!
Ash grunts that "that furball rocks", while Brock's coffee has given him enough energy left over to point a finger at Pachirisu, moaning that it looks pretty tired now. Dawn calls Piplup back out - no longer confused, she's learned from what the others have been teaching her! - and has it blast Pachirisu with Bubble Beam and then throws a Pokeball and.... she catches it! She caught a Pachirisu!
As Dawn celebrates, elsewhere in the forest another female in a short skirt is in a good mood too.... Jesse! She skips happily along through the forest singing away while some distance back trudge James and Meowth. Knowing that it's too good to be true, or last, James asks Meowth if she's suffering another delusion, and Meowth whispers back that it's Contest Queenitis... and Jesse overhears! She roars at them that she WILL become the Floaroma Contest Queen, and intends to capture a Pokémon with the rarefied air of aristocracy!
That night, Dawn sleeps in her tent and sleeping bag dreaming of winning the Floaroma Contest with Pachirisu's help, and wakes up to find it sleeping with its tail curled around it. She grins happily at it and giggles that it is so cute, then goes back to sleep. The next morning, she brushes her hair while happily humming to herself, then checks herself out in the mirror and grins, claiming perfection! Well, there's self esteem and then there is just being arrogant! She leaves the tent and finds Ash sitting at their breakfast table (that Brock apparently carries in his backpack along with all of their tents and sleeping bags) and suddenly roars out that he is going for another Gym Badge. Dawn agrees it is great to get a Gym Badge after all the hours he put in, but now it is HER turn, and they're going to Floaroma Town to get her a Contest Ribbon! She rushes on ahead, excited as hell for her next shot, coming to a stop to prepare for her training, calling Pachirisu out of its Pokeball... and it runs away!
She gasps and bounces up and down (not healthy with a skirt that short) and calls it back, and it actually listens. She pets it on the head and tells it that it is pretty fast, and it sparks with electricity and then lets rip, blasting her with a full burst and wrecking her carefully managed hair.
It rushes off again and she leaps up, her hair now shot up at shocking angles as Pachirisu runs about in delight. She begins to brush at her hair again, and Pachirisu runs up to stare with fascination at what she is doing. She smiles and hits the recall button on her Pokeball... and Pachirisu jumps out of the way! Shocked, she tries again but again it dodges, then grabs its own fluffy tail and begins eagerly licking it! Furious at her hyperactive little Pokémon displaying the hyperactivity that she found so attractive in the first place, Dawn calls out Piplup and Buneary and sends them after it like a couple of mob enforcers! They dart about after the excited fluffy Pokémon, which unfortunately for them thinks that this is all great fun. Piplup gets exhausted and trips over some grass, and Buneary collapses, so Pachirisu giggles and runs up to grab it by the ear, tugging and pulling on it in delight.
Ash and Brock arrive and ask what the matter is and she explains that it won't stop running, and Brock suggests maybe this shows it is pretty healthy. Ash calls out Pikachu to chase it, but the hyperactive little squirrel keeps on zooming out of the way, so Ash calls out Aipom, Turtwig and Staravia! All of them chase after Pachirisu, which giggles and squeaks happily as it runs from them... then turns and runs back THROUGH them, sending them spinning out of control as it squeals happily and jumps about... and then realises it is surrounded!
But as they leap, it suddenly zooms away, and you could swear that you ALMOST hear it go,"MEEP MEEP!"
The shocked twerps watch it running, sweatdrops forming on the backs of their head as they watch it run, commenting that it is speedy and non-stop. The other Pokémon go back to chasing it and finally run it up against a wall, and it turns, grins and blasts them with Spark, knocking them all down.... and then promptly collapses, having run itself plain out of gas!
They move up to check out their Pokémon, Ash saying Pikachu is okay thanks to the attack being electric. Dawn checks on Pachirisu and shakes the now exhausted Pokémon about, telling it that it is fine and needs to... and then the unconscious Pokémon blasts her with Spark, and once more sends her hair flying up out on control, much to her humiliation as she realises the giggling boys have seen her.
Back at their tents, Dawn sits struggling to brush her hair back into place, and mutters that maybe Pachirisu just doesn't like her. She comes out of the tent and ignores Ash calling out to ask if she is all right. She walks off into the field and calls out Pachirisu, then crouches down and tells Pachirisu she was wrong to think they could be friends... and it begins nuzzling against her leg. She says it is free to go where it wants now, and apparently where it wants to go is up on her head to dance around! She takes it by the sides and lowers it to the ground and tells it that it is over, then runs away, leaving the confused little squirrel behind.
Back at the campsite, Brock calls out to Dawn that it is time for lunch, but she sits on a rock and doesn't answer, apparently in a deep depression. They approach and ask her what the matter is, and she admits that she gave away Pachirisu, much to Ash's shocked disbelief. She explains that she caused trouble for everyone, but Ash says that any Pokémon is a handful at first, and Brock says it is too early to give up. She says that it is too late, she all ready set it free, and besides, it is probably all ready running free and has forgotten all about her. But they don't think so; Pachirisu seemed to be having a lot of fun with her.
Sadly, it is also having a lot of fun WITHOUT her as it runs around elsewhere, stops to chase its tail about then promptly decides,"Okay I'm sleepy now k," and cuddles up with its tail to go to sleep. As it snores softly, Team Rocket pop their heads from around the side of a bush and Jesse is in love, it's a 10 on the cutie meter, and she means to catch it!
Back at the campsite, Dawn looks up at a cloud that reminds her of Pachirisu, remembers some of the things they did, and runs up to Brock and Ash and says it seems she really did mean to capture it. They look at each other knowingly, and tell her that she'll have to catch it again, but if they all look around, they're bound to find it quickly.
Meanwhile... Jesse's ass! She struts it in front of the camera (you would too if you had it!) and confronts Pachirisu. She throws a Pokeball (claiming to have gotten it out of cobwebs, it has been that long since she used one!) and zaps up Pachirisu in one shot! And then... it promptly pops out of the Pokeball and happily slaps it away with its tail, directly into Jesse's face!
James says at least she tried but Jesse angrily declares she isn't a quitter like him, and then the twerps appear, demanding to know what they're doing with Pachirisu... which seems like as good a reason for the Team Rocket motto as any!
"Listen, is that a twerp voice that I hear?"
"It shrieks to me, loud and clear!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"In yer ear!"
"Bringing total chaos at a neck breaking pace."
"Dashing all hope, and putting fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name is just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, our work is complete."
"Jesse!"
"And it's James!"
"Meowth, now dat's a name!"
"Putting the do-gooders in their place."
"Team Rocket!"
"We're in your face!" they finish together.
Ash snaps that Pachirisu is Dawn's, but they point out that when they threw a Pokeball, it got zapped in which wouldn't have happened if it belong to someone else. Dawn admits that she did let it go, but insists she wants to back now, and Jesse quite rightly (and smugly!) points out that just because she wants it back now, doesn't necessarily mean that gives her rights over it. She suggests confidently that they let Pachirisu decide, and Dawn uncertainly agrees, Ash assuring her that Pachirisu will choose her.
Jesse grins and tells Meowth and James to hand over every last bit of food they've got, and a horrified James insists that she may need to fast, but he doesn't! Jesse roars angrily at them to give her the food and cut their weight jokes, and they quickly fall into line with the demands of their insane Bitch Goddess Queen.
She drops to her knees (HEY HEY!) and tries to call over Pachirisu, and Ash tells Brock to offer his food back. Brock grunts that he doesn't want to go there, and Dawn shouts at Jesse that bribing with food isn't the way to go about this. Jesse's angry retort is that Dawn needs to give her inflated ego a rest and admit that Pachirisu belongs to her... and Pachirisu runs over to her! Jesse is thrilled, this means that it has recognised her true beauty and.... ZAP!
Jesse staggers back up and shouts that this was a Love Spark! Dawn carefully approaches Pachirisu as it chows down on Team Rocket's food and tells it she wants it to come with her. Pachirisu looks up, asks,"JEEPA?" and then moves up towards her. Jesse is furious, declaring that Pachirisu would never abandon her after "all they've been through". She, James and Meowth rush off into the bushes before blasting a metallic arm from out of their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon to try and catch the small, fluffy squirrel. It leaps up out of the way easily, and Jesse notes it is faster than water off of a Wailord's back, and Meowth laughs that this is what buttons are for, and blasts a sticky load of goo.... GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA! ....from out of a hole in the metallic arm, trapping Pachirisu's leg and preventing it from running to escape.
After decades of loyal patronage to your mail-order catalogues, hotlines and customer rewards services; and having spent many tens of thousands of dollars on products that have invariably failed in their task - I am writing to express my extreme anger regarding the episode of Pokémon: Diamond and Pearl that first aired on the "Cartoon Network" on July 5th, 2007.
I felt personally affronted to see a small, quick rodent brought down to ground by a mechanical device that shot a sticky, viscous liquid from out of a metallic arm. The device in question instantly grounded the small but quick animal, preventing it from being able to escape the device’s operators, a trio by the name of Team Rocket.
As Acme, Incorporated is the sole provider of technical devices and other Para-Physics objects to animated cartoons, I take it that the device in question was provided by your company for an undisclosed sum of money.
For DECADES I have been trying to catch that damned Roadrunner, and your SHODDY AND UNRELIABLE products have failed me at every turn! Now not only do I see a product produced by your company successfully used in a similar situation to my own on the first attempt, but the product in question is one that has never been advertised in any of the many catalogues - both standard and "Executive Special" - that are at my disposal.
I expect an investigation into this blatant disregard for a longstanding repeat customer, and demand some sort of satisfaction within the month.
Yours,
Wile E. Coyote
Ash sends Pikachu in while Dawn has Piplup and Buneary protect Pachirisu, but Team Rocket blast more of their goo and trap them in place. When Dawn tries to protect it, Meowth blasts the twerps into place as well, then Team Rocket lower down on a ladder and approach Pachirisu with a small spray that will break down the goo. Dawn crouches over Pachirisu and tells it to blast Team Rocket with Spark and not worry about hitting her as well. Jesse and James dance in on either side of her laughing, looking like they're ready to administer her is a good solid kicking.... then grab her haul her up as Meowth spritzes Pachirisu to free it from the goo.
Jesse is infuriated with Meowth, then lowers down and calls the hyperactive little squirrel over with a "Doo doo doo," pursing of her lips. It leaps up onto her shoulder, much to Jesse's delight, who giggles that Pachirisu has clearly chosen her, and then turns and saunters away with a roll of her hips. She tells a shocked James and Meowth that they won't grab Pikachu, because every time they try to grab too much, they end up with nothing. As Dawn sobs in disbelief, they jump into their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon and take off.... they win!
They fly away, Jesse grinning and nuzzling up to Pachirisu calling it the "love of her life" and it grins, nuzzles back and then..... ZAP! They're blasting off again!
Dawn sits amongst the goop saying she can't blame Pachirisu for dumping her after what she did, but Ash tells her not to be so sure, as he sees Pachirisu approaching. It smiles happily at Dawn and pops the spray up onto its head, and she grins and hugs it after getting herself free, saying it is great to have it back... and her hair promptly springs up thanks to the static charge of Pachirisu's Spark.
She grins and says who cares, then kneels down and asks Pachirisu if it will come along with them after all, then once again catches it with her Pokeball. Now Dawn has almost as many Pokémon as Ash, a penguin, a teddy-bunny and a hyperactive squirrel with a huge tail.
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 "Talk about a positive spin.... she really oughta consider a job in politics!" |
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