480: A Gruff Act To Follow!
Dodgy Synopsis
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484: Zugaidosu Bui Esu Pikachu!
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The battle was exciting and went back and forth, with Paul eventually just squeaking through for the win. It was tough, but he did it, but before he could leave Ash demanded to know if he was going to stick around and watch Ash's own challenge?
Maybe Ash should have kept his mouth shut, because the Roark/Paul battle is going to be....
Paul smirks and Ash demands to know what is so funny, and Paul replies the idea of being asked to stay behind and watch Ash lose is funny. Ash is infuriated and begins to yell, but Dawn and Pikachu slide dramatically in-between them and she tells them both to hold it, then turns to Paul and tells him he has all ready battled Ash, so why not stick around to watch? Paul just stares at her and she asks what it is, and he asks...."Who are you?"
She's horrified, a volcano exploding inside of her as she snaps to "Mr. Rudeness" that they've met before, her name is Dawn. He stares at her and replies that he doesn't remember, and she goes fucking A-Grade nuclear ballistic! Brock rushes up and grabs her by the arms as she kicks and flails wildly at Paul, giving him what would be an interesting view up her skirt if he was that way inclined.
Are we suggesting that Paul is gay, Gentle Dodgers? That maybe he has a thing for Ash? Not at all, Paul is a complete and total asshole, and the only person he'd ever be interested in is himself! While the shippers might not like to hear it, it seems that - for the moment at least - we have a completely non-sexual major character.
Paul smirks that it is hard to resist the temptation to stay with such "encouragement" and Ash eagerly tells Roark that he's going to show a whole other style of battling as well. He tells Roark that he is ready whenever he is... and Roark points out that his Pokémon have kind of just had the shit kicked out of them, and it might be nice if they got a brief rest before their next battle, so... tomorrow! Ash says tomorrow will be fine, then turns an angry glare on a smirking Paul.
Meanwhile, Team Rocket are in disguise as scientists (and Meowth appears to be a mad Einstein-like goggly-eyed fool!) at the museum, where they are hoping to get their hands on the Fossil Machine they heard about last episode. Even Wobbuffet is in a white scientist coat.... with cute little too-long sleeves!
"Look, is that a fossil I see?" asks Jesse."Who wants to restore it? ME!" adds James.
"Science!"
"Our quest!"
"Ain't dese glasses da best!?!"
"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace."
"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, our work is complete."
"Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Professor Meowth's da name!"
"Putting the good doers in their place."
"Cause we're Team Rocket!"
"In yer face!" finishes Meowth, with Wobbuffet and Mime Jr. chiming in as usual.
They decide to do some research and check out the local fossils, and then meet Kenzo, one of the museum researchers, who tells them he knows exactly who they are.... Dr Jessa, Dr Jamus and Dr Meows, the ancient Pokémon Experts! Wobbuffet salutes with one elongated sleeve happily, and Kenzo asks them what they want to see first, and they freak him out by rushing up to his face and asking to see the Fossil Restorer. He takes them on a conveyer belt that shows off the beautiful view afforded by the large glass-face of the museum leading up to the Research Tower, where the, well.... research.... is done.
They take the lift down under the museum, and encounter the massive Fossil Restorer, and then the bio-dome that creates a "time appropriate climate" for the restored Pokémon. Jesse thinks it is gorgeous, and the Armaldo that sidles goofily up beside her thinks she is pretty gorgeous too!
Inside the Pokémon Centre, Paul picks up his Pokémon from Chansey without a word, then turns to glare at Ash who is discussing with his Pokémon which three of the four he will use in his battle. Only Turtwig has a type advantage against Roark's Rock Types, but that leaves Aipom, Staravia and Pikachu to choose from. It's pretty obvious that Pikachu will be one of them, considering it is like level 1 billion by now. And Aipom has a great Focus Punch, so that means it'll have to be Turtwig, Aipom and Pikachu!
Dawn bends over to sympathise with it while Brock stands very still with his crotch mere inches from what he'll never have. Brock tells Ash that he noted from Paul's battling that it was speed even more than his choice of moves that took him over the top, and Ash wonders what he should do. Paul finally steps up, smirking and telling Ash that this should be clear... all he has to do is imitate him.
Ash is infuriated, their philosophies are complete opposites of each other. Paul smirks, then a small kid rushes up to him and thanks him for giving him an Azumarill and runs off, Paul actually raising an arm in farewell. Ash is horrified, how the hell could he just give away his Azumarill? Just because it lost!?! Paul grunts back that Azumarill had gotten as good as it ever would and there was no point in training it any further, and when Ash roars angrily at him he notes that he thought Ash wanted to be a winner. Ash is startled, then growls he doesn't want to be a winner like that, and Paul just smirks and walks out of the Pokémon Centre.
Ash tells his Pokémon that they'll show Paul there are different ways to win, while Dawn frowns and tells Brock that there are just different types of trainers, but she can’t help but wonder what Elekid and Chimchar think of Paul.
That night, Team Rocket hang out inside the coalmine foreman's shed, looking at the plans for the Fossil Restorer, complaining that it is too damn big to be carried out... but if they have to, that's just what they'll do! They remember Kenzo showing them the machine in action, which takes 24 hours to turn a fossil back into a Pokémon. They get excited once more at the prospect of having a machine (plus all the fossils as well) to create a massive army of extinct Pokémon, and imagine the Team Rocket flag flying proudly throughout Sinnoh, much to the tear-filled delight of an imaginary Giovanni. There's just one problem.... they don't have a plan! Jesse excitedly asks them what their plan is and James, Meowth and Wobbuffet realise that she's "micro-managing again".
The next day, Roark and Ash are ready to go, the twerps watching and Paul just looking pissed off to be held back an unnecessary day just to watch Ash battle. Roark sends out Cranidos, surprising Ash who (like Dawn) expected it to come last. Brock says he is testing Ash's reactions, and Ash's reaction is... that he just doesn't care! He'll take them down one at a time, and sends out Aipom to hopefully match Cranidos' speed.
Aipom leaps up and spins in preparation for a Focus Punch as Cranidos charges for a Headbutt, leaping up and smacking into the surprised Aipom who wasn't expecting a jump. Aipom hits the ground and Paul seethes at the pathetic-ness of it all, and then Cranidos uses Flamethrower, which Aipom dodges with Double-team before firing out Swift. Cranidos dodges it and Ash orders Focus Punch while Roark calls for Zen Headbutt, and the two moves ram against each other at full force.
Aipom crashes into Ash and knocks him over, and lays unconscious on the ground as Cranidos cries out its defiance. Ash recalls Aipom and Brock says that at least Ash has an idea of Cranidos' ability now.... and Paul overhears and just smirks.
But his reaction is different when Ash sends in Pikachu, which as an Electric Type shouldn't be too much of a threat to Rock Types. Pikachu blasts Thunderbolt and Cranidos dodges and tries Zen Headbutt, and Ash waits for the right moment and calls for an Iron Tail, hitting Cranidos RIGHT IN THE FUCKING FACE!
Cranidos hits a rock formation and shatters it, then steps out and zooms in for Pikachu, which leaps high to hit Thunderbolt, only for the speedy Cranidos to leap high after it and Headbutt it higher into the air. Ash calls for Pikachu to come back with Thunderbolt, but again Cranidos is faster with another Zen Headbutt, then a Headbutt that smashes Pikachu into the ground, and Ash seems at a complete loss, how the hell can he match the speed AND power!?!
He tells Pikachu to hang in there, but it falls backwards and Paul grunts dismissively, stands up and starts to leave.... and Pikachu lets loose a massive roar and fills the arena with a massive bolt of lightning, and for once Paul... Paul is shocked!
Roark says that a Pokémon defending its Trainer is truly something to see, and Paul sits back down as Ash orders Pikachu to move in with Quick Attack. Roark notes that Pikachu is fast, but a Normal Attack like that won't do much against Cranidos, and has it use Flamethrower. But Pikachu leaps above the flames and then shoots forward even faster with Iron Tail, and as Roark, Dawn and Brock gasp at Pikachu's speed, and Pikachu smashes Iron Tail into Cranidos.... RIGHT IN THE FUCKING FACE AGAIN!
Cranidos is sent staggering back, but it is still standing. Roark tells Ash to watch, and has Cranidos use Head Smash, which creates a giant blue aura. Paul notes that Roark knew the move after all, while Brock explains it is the strongest possible of Cranidos' Headbutts - it can cause Recoil Damage as well. Ash doesn't seem worried, telling Pikachu to use Volt Tackle, which surprises Dawn since she knows it will cause Pikachu damage as well, while Paul is contemptuous, describing Ash's strategy as pathetic.... and then the two Pokémon hit each other headfirst at full speed.
Pikachu is sent staggering back and so is Cranidos, but both are still standing! Roark tells Ash he is impressed by how Pikachu has been raised, while Ash tells Pikachu that it is too dangerous for it to remain in battle for now, and calls it back to his side before sending out Turtwig. Ash calls for Razor Leaf, but Cranidos burns through it with Flamethrower, so Turtwig ducks and then rushes forward with surprising speed to bite down on Cranidos' arm. Paul has to admit to his surprise that Turtwig's speed has improved, but Cranidos is still faster. Even after the beating it has taken, it manages to smash Turtwig with Zen Headbutt and let rip with another blast of Flamethrower. Turtwig takes the hit, which is sure to do big damage considering it is a Grass Type, but it holds on and Ash has it leap clear and blast Cranidos with Razor Leaf, and finally, finally Cranidos goes down! But Roark still has two fresh Pokémon left, and Ash only has two damaged ones.
Pikachu and Turtwig both shout encouragement to Ash though, and he yells at Paul to watch, and then Roark calls out Onix. Ash calls for Razor Leaf, but Onix doges surprisingly fast and smashes Turtwig with Double Edge and... Turtwig is out.... with one goddamn hit!
Ash calls Turtwig back and tells Pikachu it is all up to it now. It starts off with Iron Tail, and Onix comes back with Slam, the two moves striking against each other. Onix is blasted back by the blow, but so is Pikachu, and it looks exhausted. Ash tries to figure out what to do, and then comes up with one of his traditional unconventional moves, and has Pikachu use Thunderbolt.... on the field!
Onix rushes in to use Double Edge, but runs into the blasted up rocks, slowing it right down. Ash calls for a Quick Attack on the hurt Onix, but Roark calls for Screech and it blasts rings of Sonic Energy at Pikachu, forcing it backwards into a rock as dust and smoke kicks up.... but Pikachu is still standing!
It's over, and Ash has lost! He LOST!
He stands staring in horror as Roark is declared the winner, and Brock says it was Onix's screech that did him in. Ash bends down and picks up Pikachu, telling it that it is the best, and then he looks up as Paul exits the Gym. His rival turns around and says two words that probably sum up how Ash is feeling right now and also just how much of an asshole Paul really is.
"How pathetic."
| BEST QUOTES |
 "What's wrong?" "What's wrong? ....who ARE you?"
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