478: Leave It To Brocko!
Dodgy Synopsis
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482: Takeshi ni Omakase!
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It's night in the forest, and in a high tree, a Seedot drops out of its nesting area by two others. It lands on a sleeping Shiftry and then down to another branch where a Nuzleaf sleeps. The Nuzleaf - still sleeping - falls out of the tree and lands on a Vileplume's head and curls back up to sleep while the Vileplume runs off in a panic, leaving the tree far behind.
The next morning, Nuzleaf sneezes as it gets a sniff of some of Vileplume's scent, falls off of its head and lands on the ground, waking up and realising it has somehow become completely lost. It jumps through some bushes and plummets over the edge of a cliff, falling screaming to a certain death.
Meanwhile, the twerps have reached the forest at the foot of a massive mountain, beyond which is Ash's first Sinnoh Gym. Ash is eager to climb over it immediately, but Dawn points out the nearby Pokémon Centre and asks if they can't stop there for the night before trying to climb 30,000 goddamn feet into the air. Ash seems reluctant, but then they're distracted by Bonsly which starts crying in Brock's arms. He gives it some pellets of Pokémon food, which it munches on eagerly as Dawn and Ash gather around in surprise, unaware till now that Bonsly could eat solid food.
A kick-up of wind and leaves catches their attention and they head into the bushes, where a Nurse Joy is trying to calm the injured Nuzleaf that apparently survived the massive fall. It keeps backing off from her or blasting at her with Razor Leaf, until Brock slides in front of Nurse Joy and growls heroically that she should leave this to him. She asks who her mysterious benefactor is and he ruins the moment by leaping love starved to a knee and attaches a string from his finger to hers, telling her that the finger of fate has brought him here... and then the finger of Croagunk makes it clear that fate has other plans in store for him.
Ash and Dawn arrive and Nuzleaf fires Razor Leaf at them, Dawn checking it out with Dextina before getting shocked by Brock's surprise return, informing them that Nuzleaf tend to group up with others of their kind. Brock approaches Nuzleaf, telling them that you have to calm them by putting your hands behind your back, crouching to be at their level and... and blowing on a leaf!
He offers Nuzleaf a berry but it's unsure of this fucking weirdo leaf-blowing freak with squinty eyes, and backs off. Brock calls out Bonsly and feeds it some of the berry, then offers the rest to Nuzleaf, followed by another bowl full. Nuzleaf and Bonsly begin chowing down on the berries while Ash explains that Brock wants to be a breeder.
Brock grabs a hypo-spray potion from his backpack and heals up the bruise mark on Nuzleaf, which looks like a little masked midget-savage wearing baggy pants. It also appears to be one of the few Pokémon that have nipples, and that's just... well that's just that.
Nurse Joy wonders why Nuzleaf is here in the first place, and explains to Brock that Nuzleaf, Seedot and Shiftry in this forest only live in the 1000 year old tree on the other side of the mountain. Ash and Dawn figure they should get it back to the tree, and Brock tells Nurse Joy that she's probably busy at the Pokémon Centre, so she should leave it in their care. She seems quite taken by their sacrifice, and Brock tries desperately to sound suave, taking her arm and smiling so brightly that his teeth gleam!
Team Rocket have been watching from the bushes, and Meowth thinks that Giovanni will like one of the tricky Pokémon for his very own. We get a comparatively calm patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy as we see Giovanni sitting on a hillside in the sunset, thinking to himself he has more money than anyone, but what does it all really mean? Then suddenly his reverie is broken by the sweet whistled tune of a Nuzleaf blowing on a leaf, and he smiles and says that now he realises that money isn't the most important thing... so he'll give all of his to Meowth, Jesse and James! Team Rocket giggle as they accept this lunacy as likely, and sing that money isn't everything, especially when you're rich!
The twerps continue on, Bonsly and Nuzleaf walking happily side by side as Brock suggests that Nuzleaf thinks Bonsly is another Grass Type, which even Dawn knows isn't true, it's actually a Rock Type. Suddenly, a Shiftry leaps down onto a rock and cries out its name, and the twerps are excited to see a Pokémon that usually looks like it's getting ready for some pretty intense raping on anything with a hole nearby. The Shiftry's "trainers" show up behind it, a couple of scout-looking "older" teens in caps and glasses.... but hang on, something isn't quite right here! Since when has Shiftry being a midget with cat ears who is only HOLDING leaves with his paws instead of actually having leaves for hands?
They introduce themselves as a couple of regular mountain climbers, though Jesse points out that she is a girl (and WHAT A GIRL!) before telling the sad story of how for the last thirty years Shiftry has been searching for its missing family, through rain, shine or wind. The twerps seem somewhat taken aback, thirty years? James hisses at Jesse that she is overdoing it but she insists that she is an actress and this is what actresses do. The "Shiftry" leaps up screeching its name, and James cries out that it is calling to Nuzleaf to come to it, come to it now!
Dawn is pleased to see a Shiftry (in that skirt, any Shiftry would be pleased to see her!) and takes out Dextina to check it out, and gets a hilarious lesson as Dextina immediately sees through the terrible disguises that frequently fool the twerps.
"Meowth, the Scratch-Cat Pokémon," Dextina informs them as it looks at "Shiftry","When it sees round objects, it plays and loses track of time."
"Shiftry" insists that "da twerp's Pokémon must be on da fritz.... I mean SHIFTRY SHIFTRY SHIFTRY!" and Ash STILL doesn't get it, asking who they are, so they make it as painfully clear as they can by hitting their motto!
"It speaks to me, loud and clear!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"And.... in yer ear!"
"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace."
"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, our work is complete."
"Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Meowth, dat's a name!"
"Putting the do-gooders in their place."
"We're Team Rocket!"
"In your face!" they finish together.
"WOBBUH! WOBBUH-FFET!"
"Mime Mime, mime mime mime!"
Their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon lifts into the air and they fire a net that catches Nuzleaf and Bonsly, then fly up into the air dragging the net up into the air with them.... but not before Brock leaps and grabs hold of it!
Team Rocket are horrified, they could get a ticket with a "big twerp" hanging on, and then Ash sends in Staravia to burst the balloon, only for it to run into a thick cloud of Seviper's Haze.
Soon we find Nuzleaf and Bonsly trapped in a cage as Team Rocket kneel down and grin that now they can wrap a ribbon around Nuzleaf and send it to the Boss. Brock - tied up on a nearby tree - shouts at them that they can't take Nuzleaf away from its family, but they mock him, tell him to shut up, and then turn around to have some food, and we once more see the pre-opening teaser. Brock makes his offer, and they accept, and soon a delicious meal is set up for a crying Team Rocket who weep with joy, suggesting that maybe he could turn lead into gold as well. Jesse then appears to suggest he's tight-assed by saying that if she gave him coal, he could "squeeze out" a few diamonds!
As they chow down, Brock backs up to the cage, lifts it up and runs away into the forest. Once at a safe location, he has Bonsly use Double-Edge on the bars of the cage, bending them but hurting itself and crying with the pain. But Brock tells it to keep trying and it forces itself on more and more until it breaks them free and dances with delight and..... EVOLVES INTO SUDOWOODO!
They continue on, Sudowoodo now carrying Nuzleaf on its head, while Brock wonders how he'll find Ash and Dawn again. Then he spots what can only be the 1000 year old tree that Nurse Joy told them about (unless there is a 999 year old tree in a different direction! What about then, Brock? WHAT ABOUT THEN!?!). They head on, while above the trees Team Rocket look out for the escaped Brock, blaming each other for letting him, Bonsly and Nuzleaf escape.
Brock, Sudowoodo and Nuzleaf arrive at a quickly rushing river and make their way across the stepping stones leading across it. Sudowoodo of course doesn't like wood because it's a Rock Type, so Brock calls it back into its Pokeball. This causes Nuzleaf to fall onto its ass and cry, so Brock calls Sudowoodo back out and asks it to try and get across the wood. It leaps from rock to rock, saluting Brock as he congratulates it and almost falling in before Brock saves it. Team Rocket spot it from above as they reach the other side and land as Brock tries to get Sudowoodo to make the leap from the final stone to the shore. Brock refuses to hand over Nuzleaf, so Jesse sends out Seviper and Brock replies with Croagunk which.... takes a bite!
Sitting calmly, almost smugly within the clasping jaws of Seviper, Croagunk reaches up with Poison Jab and sends the snake crashing backwards, much to Jesse's rage. She tells it to get back in there with Poison Tail, but Croagunk blasts it with Poison Sting which also blows up Team Rocket's balloon, the rising smoke catching Ash and Dawn's attention.
Seviper Wraps up Croagunk, which completely no-sells the attack, again just STARING with its inscrutable gaze at the terrifying snake. It smashes its glowing fist into Seviper's coils again and again with Brickbreak while its face remains calm and complacent. Seviper takes blow after blow and then crashes away, knocked out and beaten severely. Brock congratulates Croagunk, and then realises it is ALSO knocked out, even though it appears to still be sitting calmly in place. He calls it back to its Pokeball, then has to dodge a Bullet Seed attack from Carnivine after James successfully pulls the insane Pokémon off of his head and pitches it into battle.
Sudowoodo sees Brock and Nuzleaf cowering under the attack and realises what it has to do, and leaps through the water, saluting bravely for Brock. Carnivine tries Bite, but Sudowoodo dodges and uses Double Edge, and Carnivine leaps high to try Bullet Seed only for the attack to be neutralised by Sudowoodo using Mimic.
As the attacks explode in the air between the two Pokémon, Ash and Dawn show up, surprised to see that Bonsly is now a Sudowoodo. She checks it out with Dextina and Ash says he'll take it from here! Brock doesn't take too kindly to Ash's continued belief that HE is the centre of the universe, though, pointing out that this is Sudowoodo's first fight and there is no way he is backing down. Sudowoodo salutes, then runs through a blast of Bullet Seed and tackles into Carnivine with Double Edge.
Carnivine tries Bite and chomps down hard on Sudowoodo's head, which creates an interesting compositional image. Sudowoodo uses Flail to work its way free and toss Carnivine away, then dodges a Bullet Seed and uses Mimic to send it back, knocking Carnivine out!
Jesse is infuriated that a "phony tree" beat them, and sends in Dustox while James sends in Cacnea (and gets a "pain in the neck" for his troubles). Ash - refusing to accept that he isn't needed here - calls on Pikachu, but then a massive wind blasts up, and Shiftry leaps out of the trees and lands on the ground between the two groups.
Dawn checks out the seething, full of rage Pokémon with Dextina, while Meowth tells a rather confusing lie about Shiftry harming Nuzleaf, which for some reason makes Shiftry want to kill the twerps..... something appears to have been lost in translation.
Team Rocket sneak away into their backup Patiently Pleased Wobbuffet Balloon, then grab Nuzleaf with a mechanical arm and start making fun of THE POKEMON THAT CAN KICK UP POWERFUL WINDS AT WILL while riding in their HOT AIR BALLOON WHICH IS SUBJECT TO THE WHIMS OF THE WIND!
Shiftry uses Razor Wind and sends the balloon crashing down as Nuzleaf falls out of the balloon towards death. But then Shiftry leaps high and slows its fall with the wind, while Ash figures there is no point in letting Team Rocket fall to a 99% certainty of death and has Pikachu blast them with Thunderbolt to guarantee their murder.
As they blast into the air, Jesse wonders out loud if maybe she should learn to cook? But hey, when you've got an ass like she one she is displaying, why would you ever need to have to learn to cook?
As the sun sets, Nuzleaf is returned to its big tree home, and they wave their goodbyes, including Sudowoodo. Heading on once more towards Ash's first Sinnoh League Gym Battle. There they go, three twerps (including one in a short skirt) in a deep dark forest walking safely away from at least three Shiftry, and not a single rape to be seen. That can only lead to one conclusion....
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Who are you guys?" "Oh just your typical mountain climbers!" "I'm a girl though!"
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