477: A Staravia Is Born!
Dodgy Synopsis
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481: Mukkuru Ganbaru!
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What the hell is going on? It's the pre-opening teaser to get you to watch, and Jesse in a bikini is pretty much guaranteed to do it! So watch on, as....
Starly is practising moves with Ash, trying Aerial Ace. It zooms back and forth before a target set up on a tall thin tree in their forest. Suddenly Starly's Aerial Ace is interrupted as it drops too close to the ground and crashes to the ground. The twerps rush to its side, Brock checking out its leg and bandaging it up as it lies on its back in his lap, which is about the only time a bird will ever do that.
Rustling in the bushes gets their attention, and they turn to see a young lady emerge from the bushes. She has short, purple hair and is wearing khaki, and she introduces herself as Rosemay, the....
"The most beautiful flower than can bloom in this beautiful forest!" insists Brock huskily, appearing to the viewer in the rose-tinted fantasy imagery he sees himself in.
He insists to her that this is his destiny, his purpose in life, and.... Croagunk slams a Poison Jab roughly into the small of his back and sends him crashing to the ground on his face. Croagunk STARES and grins its creepily inscrutable grin as it hauls away into the bushes to do who knows what. Everybody ignores the potential molestation as Rosemay explains what she was doing in the forest, but not why the fuck she is putting on the most terrible, unbelievably bad faux-British accent any of us have ever heard. Apparently her job is to observe the wild Pokémon of the forest in their natural habitat, and Dawn is concerned that they're interfering with her work. She laughs it off, saying it's no problem (her job is to walk around the forest and look at stuff, for fuck's sake!) and even asks them if they'd like to come along with her. Dawn is super-excited, and leaps up and down eagerly, her skirt bouncing up and down as millions of sad and desperate fanboys watch with wide, fixed eyes, never blinking, never averting their gaze, "just in case".
Brock returns all fantasised up to take Rosemay's arm, and Dawn and Ash gasp in horror at his sudden return. Dawn asks how he manages to do this, and all Ash can offer as an answer is a nervous and confused laugh... does he even know what she's talking about!?! Soon after, they're kneeling in the bushes staring through binoculars at the nests of a colony of Swablu. Ash takes a look and happily says he sees the nest, but when Dawn peers through she notices there aren't any Swablu there, and Ash hits us with his patented,"Huh?"
Rosemay says they need to find higher ground, obviously concerned, and they head up a cliff and look over the treetops. Rosemay and her horrendous accent are concerned over the failure of the Swablu to return. She tells them that recently there has been a drop in the number of different types of Bird Pokémon in the forest, but she can't figure out why. Ash and Dawn insist on helping out, and they head into a lovely sunny section of the forest where Hoot-Hoot are supposed to live, but there is no sign of them, and Starly can't find any while flying about either. Ash asks Starly how its leg is and it nods happily, so he asks it if that means it can fly one more circuit around?
Meanwhile, two Swellow fly along with two Taillow (probably their children) through a 3d canyon, and then squawk in surprise when they see a net strung up before them!
They're caught up in the massive net which closes shut and drops them into a giant box, and then the net raises up again as Meowth and Jesse's ass step into the foreground. Meowth laughs, giving us exposition that explains the absence of bird Pokémon in the forest. The canyon is the central passageway through the forest for all the different bird Pokémon, and they've set up base here to catch scores of Bird Pokémon, and actually done so successfully! In fact, they've caught so many that James suggests they might give some to "you-know-who", and that's the cue for another patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy!
He explains that Giovanni is a shallow shell of a man, standing in his opulent mansion with a cup of tea, sighing at the sheer drudgery of life.... if only he could spread his wings and soar! And then, like something out of the lunatic imaginings of an insane cat, scores of Bird Pokémon flap down and lower a chair for him to sit on, then fly into the air as he sits in comfort beneath it, enjoying being above the clouds and proclaiming that since Meowth and friends gave him this new experience AND provided him with his first Sinnoh Region base, he simply has to give them a promotion!
Meanwhile, as the insanity rolls on, Starly flies through the air and spots a Swellow and two Taillow and follows them around the canyon into the net, and falls with them into the cage trap. It sits up, then turns around to see the assembled captured Pokémon, including an insane Fearow drilling away at the ground trying to get clear while Meowth cackles with delight.
Ash sits on the clifftop wondering why Starly hasn't returned yet, blaming himself for sending it out while injured. Suddenly Rosemay's peering through binoculars reminds her of THE GIANT FUCKING CANYON VALLEY RAISING UP OUT OF THE FOREST LIKE A FUCKING MOUNTAIN as well as the fact that all of the birds have to fly through it, so maybe they should take a look in there!
Meanwhile, Starly is giving the captured Pokémon a pep-talk, trying to get them fired up to escape. On the roof of the small Rocket Base, Jesse and James sit under a sun umbrella enjoying cool drinks, telling Meowth to "be a love" and sort out the work of preparing the Pokémon to be shipped off to Giovanni. He demands a vote over who will do the work, and they play Rock, Paper, Scissors. Jesse and James play paper and Meowth plays rock, moaning sadly that they have more fingers than him as they giggle in the background. He turns and sighs, asking what they plan to do, and the answer is... Oh My!
Off come their clothes, and before you know it they're near-naked and settling down on beach-chairs to enjoy the sun, proclaiming they're doing,"RESEARCH! In the ways of the rays!"
He heads off, while Rosemay checks out Jesse's ass with her binoculars from far away. Looking down, they note a Pidgeot captured in Team Rocket's net and Pikachu darts down with Quick Attack to free it, and it joins them up with the twerps. Ash tells Pikachu to go with Pidgeot and round up all the other Bird Pokémon, and then come back to sort things out.
Meanwhile underneath the base, Seviper and Cacnea sit patiently as guards while the deliriously, happily insane Carnivine wiggles about and cackles its own name. Meowth shows up and gives them credit for the quality of their guarding, and then drops a restricting ring around a Swablu, He turns to tell the other Pokémon that he doesn't want any trouble, only to discover that Starly did a good job of pepping up the captive Pokémon, as a Hoot-Hoot tries Hypnosis on Meowth, to creepy effect!
Starly gives instructions, and Meowth lets them all out with a dazed, happy expression on his face, telling the Fearow where to dig.
Meanwhile, the twerps and Rosemay sneak another peek at Jesse's ass as she and James sleep in the sun on the roof, then sneak inside. Under the ground, Meowth is helping the Fearow dig while other Pokémon carry the dirt away, Meowth helping out and grinning that the digging is good for the upper body. The twerps rush through the underground tunnel and pass a series of monitors that show them Starly... and also a camera zooming in on Jesse's ass!
Up on the roof, the snoozing Team Rocket wake up as they hear an odd noise, and look up to see Pikachu flying on Pidgeot's back at the head of a vast flock of various Bird Pokémon, much to their near naked horror!
The Birds' use Wing Attack in vast numbers through the net, shattering it as the twerps watch from the underground monitors, cheering away. Jesse and James rush to the control room and demand to know where Meowth is, and of course he's underground happily chatting away and encouraging the Pokémon escaping through their tunnel. Hoothoot and Starly growl warnings at him to watch himself and not get into trouble, and he waves goodbye as Hoothoot leaves just him and Starly there.... and the spell is broken and a shocked Meowth demands to know where everyone has gone!?!
Meowth calls Cacnea, Seviper and Carnivine in and they surround Starly, but luckily for it the twerps arrive and spot the escape tunnel. A noise above them gets all their attention, and we find out what the control room in the base is for.... a buried base-bot with the shack for a head and... and.... a penis!?!?!
The ladder penis unfurls and drops down the hole like a small man trying to have sex with a huge and wildly promiscuous whore. Meowth tells the twerps that the Bot is their "You Really Can Take It With Ya Can't Ya Mark 93!" and Brock mutters it must have taken a long time to get right. Meowth leads his fellow Pokémon up onto the ladder-penis and they scramble up it. They enter the control room where he tells his shameful tale of being hypnotised and releasing all of "Giovanni's" Pokémon. A furious Jesse hits a button that extends giant bird nets from the wrists of the Base-Bot, and then begins swinging around trying to capture the Pokémon sweeping around them.
Meanwhile Fearow emerges from the escape tunnel, peers about, then leads the other Pokémon out, followed by the twerps. Ash orders Pikachu to use Thunderbolt, and it drops through the air and blasts the Bot to no effect before landing on Pidgeot's back again. The Base Bot is made of real wood, so it isn't effected by electricity.... but it IS affected by gravity! When the Bot stomps down on the escape tunnel, the ground shatters under their feet and the entire Bot collapses under its own weight, leaving Team Rocket with nothing but a biodegradable pile of debris!
Crawling back out of the hole, Jesse insists that the Bird Pokémon belong to them. Ash demands to know where they heard that, and that's as good an excuse as ever for the motto!
"It shrieks to me, loud and clear!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"In yer ear!"
"We're bringing real crisis at a breakneck pace."
"Dashing hope and putting fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, our work is complete."
"Jesse!"
"And it's James!"
"Meowth, now dat's a name!"
"Putting the do-gooders doers in their place!"
"Team Rocket!"
"We're in yer face!" they finish together.
"WOHHHH-BUFFET!"
Actually to be honest, it wasn't much of an excuse at all!
Ash sends in Starly and Jesse sends out Dustox, which blasts away Starly while James has Cacnea use Pin Missile on Pikachu. Pikachu dodges with Quick Attack, and Brock sends out what Jesse calls his "Walking Bowling Pin" in Bonsly. It gets blasted back with Gust, showing off way too much of its asshole than necessary before hitting the ground and crying in horror as the bulbs on its head glow. Jesse laughs and orders another Gust, but Bonsly's bulbs glow brighter and it hits back with a Gust of its own, and Brock gasps that Bonsly must know Mimic!
Jesse is furious at this plagiarism and orders Psychic, but Bonsly dodges it and Psychics back, knocking down Dustox. A furious Team Rocket send in all their Pokémon, and the twerps rush in to fight back, but Starly swoops down in front of them, then raises high into the air for an Aerial Ace, Ash NOT crying out,"Starly, no!"... and then it glows bright and the bandage around its foot flutters down as it grows large and becomes Staravia!
As Bonsly looks on with wide wobbly eyes of shocked awe, Staravia smashes into a horrified Team Rocket with Aerial Ace and sends them soaring into the air themselves. They've been knocked silly, smiling that it's actually kind of nice to be flying, almost nice enough to make them forget about what is coming next! They disappear into a sparkle, crying out that Team Rocket is blasting off again!
Staravia lands before the twerps and Ash tells it that it was awesome, while Dawn checks it out with Dextina, while Rosemay thanks it for saving the various Bird Pokémon of the forest. Staravia waves goodbye to the giant flock of birds - including Hoothoot - and then they say their goodbyes to the utterly useless Rosemay and her hideous fucking accent. They head off once more on their journey.... with the baby-ish Bonsly surely considering the ramifications of evolution VERY carefully.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "We call dis machine the "Ya Really Can Take It With Ya Can't Ya Mark 93!" "Wow... took awhile to get right!"
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