470: Different Strokes for Different Blokes! |
Dodgy Synopsis
In pain and absolutely humiliated, Aipom tries to cover it up by getting angry and leaping down to shout at Piplup, which reacts just as angrily. Turtwig tries to make peace between them and gets smashed in the face for its troubles, Bonsly rushing back and forth in a panic as Piplup and Aipom clash attacks together dramatically, causing an explosion that gets the attention of the twerps. They arrive just in time to see Turtwig blasting Aipom and Piplup with Razor Leaf, and Dawn angrily snaps that it can't just attack her Pokémon like that. But Brock and Ash figure that Turtwig was actually trying to break up a fight, and the happy Pokémon leaps up to bite on Ash's head in gratitude. He laughs as he twists about with Turtwig clinging onto his head, and finds himself being watched by.... Yes Paul, the asshole who tosses away Pokémon once they're no longer immediately useful to him. The guy who is essentially the COMPLETE opposite of Ash, and seems to treat his Pokémon like shit. The guy is pure 100% asshole, more so even than Gary, and his philosophy towards how Pokémon SHOULD be trained is far from the accepted notion that different people have different approaches to training Pokémon, that there is.... Ash comments that Paul likes to show up out of nowhere, but Paul retorts that he's just training for his upcoming Gym Battle, and then mocks Ash's new Pokémon, saying Turtwig doesn't seem like too much to him. Ash is shocked and offers him a battle, and Paul grumpily agrees, replying smugly that their last battle left a bad taste in his mouth and calls out his Chimchar, saying his "friend" the little fire-monkey wants revenge. Dawn warns Ash that A Grass Type is disadvantaged against a Fire Type (woah, she KNOWS STUFF!) but Ash seems confident, saying that he intends to win. Brock offers to act as referee, but Paul smirks that there won't be any point; this time their battle will have a clear-cut winner. They face off on the edge of a cliff overlooking a waterfall (because it's cool!) and Ash sends Turtwig in with a Tackle, but Chimchar zooms in with a Scratch, slashing Turtwig across the face. Ash is confused as to why it didn't dodge like he ordered, and has Turtwig try Razor leaf, but Chimchar dodges and fires loose an Ember, and Brock gasps that it seems to have gotten stronger. Turtwig refuses to dodge Ember and gets blasted back, confusing Ash further. He tells it to use Synthesis to heal itself, but Paul smirks that it is a waste of time and orders Chimchar to finish it with Flame Wheel, and once again, Turtwig refuses to dodge. Turtwig proves its resilience by staggering back up as Ash again tries to figure out why it is following all of his orders EXCEPT for dodging. Paul grunts, asking Ash if he is done yet, but Ash isn't ready to give up, and neither is Turtwig. It launches itself forward again... and gets grabbed by a net! It's Team Rocket! And they're being extra dramatic today! "Listen! is that a voice I hear?" "It speaking to me, loud and clear!" "On the wind!" "Past the stars!" "In yer ear!" "Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace." "Dashing hope, putting fear in its place." "A rose by any other name's just as sweet." "When everything's worse, our work is complete." "Ember!" shouts Paul. "Ember!" agrees Jesse happily. "EMBER!?!" Jesse and James both note together in shock, and then Chimchar blasts them with just that! "YOU CAN'T DO DAT!" squeals Meowth as they writhe in agony, their flesh melting, their fat bubbling, their skin blackening, eyeballs popping. "The kids are still getting used to our new motto!" agrees Jesse in horror. "Next thing you know they'll think we've been replaced by Butch and Cassidy!" moans James. Paul growls at them that they're wasting his time and interfering in a battle, and then Ash demands back Turtwig. Team Rocket reply that they've got Pikachu, not Turtwig, then look down at their net and gape in shock when they realise they've caught the wrong Pokémon! Paul mutters that they're pathetic, and a furious Jesse snaps at James to educate the "new twerp" on just who they are. "Look twerp! We're known as Team Rocket. The smartest, coolest, orneriest, the nastiest.... cheapest, hungriest.... stupid, penny-ante...." James starts, before trailing off, then breaking down into tears! He calls out Carnivine to help them, and it chows down on his head happily before letting rip with Bullet Seed, and Ash screams at Paul to get out of the way.... and Paul tells him to shut up! Chimchar blasts through the Bullet Seed with Ember, and then Turtwig bursts loose with Razor Leaf before Pikachu Thunderbolts Team Rocket and sends them blasting off again! But the explosion causes a shockwave that knocks Paul, Chimchar, Ash and Turtwig over the side of the cliff! They plummet towards the pool at the base of the waterfall, but Paul and Chimchar athletically bounce and leap from tree branch to rock to bush, slowing their descent even as Ash grabs Turtwig and crashes into the pool. Ash swims to the side with Turtwig and asks if it is okay, while the other twerps and Pikachu call down from the top of the cliff and tell them they'll meet at the far side of the forest. Ash agrees, and then turns as he notes Paul silently recalling Chimchar and heading off without a word, and Ash gives chase. Deeper in the forest, an Ekans slides down a tree trunk and hisses its own name, while Ash catches up to Paul and says since they're both trying to get out of the forest, it only makes sense that they do it together. And Paul replies.... that's stupid! Ash mutters to himself, asking what Paul's problem is, and Paul turns back and notes that while Ash is talking to himself, maybe he should also be keeping an eye out for Stantler, since this is Bewilder Forest. This just serves to bewilder Ash (ha! I'm a writing genius!) and Paul sneers that if Ash is in this forest without knowing anything about it, he really IS pathetic. He walks off, and leaves Ash and Turtwig behind. Meanwhile, Brock and Dawn are looking through a map in their guidebook, and it turns out that even Dawn knows what Bewilder Forest is, almost as if she lived in this region her entire life or something! Ash and Turtwig continue along and spot a Stantler, and when Dextina warns him that Stantler are capable of creating warps in reality, he has a vague recollection of the illusions caused by a baby Stantler he met a long time ago. He smiles dimly at the Stantler, which proceeds to do just what Ash was warned about, and sends him and Turtwig on one wacky acid trip! Ash and Turtwig stagger drunkenly through strange fields of grass as a distorted version of the normal background music plays. Passing through a tunnel-like cloud in the sky, the "warp" fades and they end up back at the base of the waterfall! They turn around and head back, but they encounter Stantler again and this time find themselves in a desert, and a red-coloured Ash realises immediately that this is another Warp, and demands Turtwig bite down on his head, breaking him out of his trip. He finds himself surrounded by Stantler and warns Turtwig not to look at their antlers... and then looks at their antlers! Their next trip is.... interesting.... to say the least. They think they're flying! As a grinning Ash tells Turtwig they should fly and find Dawn, Paul watches contemptuously and tells Chimchar to help "the losers" out, and blasts Ember over the head of the Stantler and sends them rushing off. Ash staggers back to reality, but Paul remains disinterested in him and his thanks, ordering Chimchar to use Flame Wheel on the remaining Stantler. It blasts the Pokémon, and then Paul sends in a Pokeball and captures it, scanning it with his Pokedex and then... discarding it! He releases the Stantler, sneering at it to get lost, and it turns and runs off as Ash gasps that he thought the Stantler could have been his friend. Paul's reply? He thinks that friends are just... useless! Meanwhile, Dawn and Brock are standing at the edge of Bewilder Forest, Dawn explaining to Brock the dangers of the Stantler within, and they head in, wary of the lights on the Stantler's antlers (hey, that rhymes!). Inside the forest,. Ash gets an apple out of the tree for Turtwig and insists that it eat, but it refuses, and Ash laughs that it really is stubborn, and figures that it why it wouldn't dodge when he ordered it. Turtwig's belly rumbles and it gasps in embarrassment, and Ash laughs and breaks the apple in two, handing one side to Turtwig and sharing it with the little Pokémon, telling it that they're friends, they don't have to pretend like they don't know each other. Ash explains he was telling it to dodge because that was the right thing to do, but they'll keep on working together to become a stronger team. Then a Stantler emerges from the forest and a shocked Ash covers his eyes with his head and tells Turtwig on his head not to look either, and they turn and run and... Oh Ash. He flees from the Beedrill while the Stantler sweat drops in embarrassment for the poor stupid boy. Brock and Dawn move through the forest as well and hear Ash calling, and shout out happily to him, only to freak out when they see he has once again somehow managed to piss off a swarm of Beedrill. Oh. He just ran into an Ursaring! Dawn checks out the furious, horny Pokémon with Dextina as Ash cowers in fear, and then Turtwig leaps up and bites Ursaring on the face! Ash is horrified and screams for it to get off, and then tries to... he tries to physically throw down with an Ursaring! It tosses him and Turtwig aside angrily and then looms furiously over Ash, ready to kill him or rape him or kill him via rape... only for Turtwig to tackle it aside. It comes back after Turtwig but it dodges, and Ash laughs it isn't bad at dodging after all, and orders Pikachu to use Iron Tail and Turtwig to use Razor Leaf. The Ursaring is smashed back and Ash compliments them on their combination... and then Ursaring lets rip with a massive blast of Hyper beam! The twerps cheese it the hell out of there, escaping Bewilder Forest but finding themselves still chased by the furious, horny Ursaring, that will not let such a short skirt go unmolested. Paul is directly in their path and they break off, leaving him to face the giant horny bear, and Paul finishes off the work Ash started by using Chimchar to blast it with flame and then capture it with a Pokeball.... but for how long? He checks it out with the Pokedex, then grunts that it's "not bad" and he'll hold onto it for awhile. Then he looks up and spots Turtwig, and grunts that Ash should have gotten rid of the pathetic thing by now, then turns to walk away. Ash snaps angrily that Paul just doesn't get it... ...if you work with a Pokémon, they get stronger and tougher. Paul sneers and keeps on heading off, ignoring Ash's request for another battle until Ash mocks him, asking him if he is scared? Paul turns back around and tells Ash that if he insists on taking a beating, he'll dish it out! Once more they face off, and Ash sends Turtwig in with Tackle. Chimchar dodges and prepares to Scratch... but Turtwig dodges! It blasts Razor Leaf at Chimchar which comes back with Ember, the two moves smashing against each other. Turtwig zooms in with Bite, but Chimchar surprises them with Dig, then comes up out of the dirt behind Turtwig and blasts it with Scratch.... but Ash orders it to come back with Bite, but again Chimchar uses Dig. It mocks Turtwig by popping out of the holes in the ground around Turtwig, even going so far as to shake its ass in Turtwig's face before slashing and scratching at Turtwig and sending it stumbling back.... and Ash has had enough! He orders Turtwig to blast Razor Leaf into the holes, cutting Chimchar's ass and making it leap out of the hole. Paul grunts this wasn't "so bad" and tells Chimchar to fire Ember, but Ash tells Turtwig to leap down the hole to get clear.... and this was just what Paul was hoping for! He has Chimchar blast Ember down the hole and sends jets of flames exploding out of the holes, burning up Turtwig and doing a massive amount of damage. Ash has a plan though, and orders a Synthesis to heal it up. But Paul knows this will take time and has Chimchar use Flame Wheel, and it rolls directly towards Turtwig, causing Ash to order it to.... jump down the hole again! Turtwig is horrified, that almost killed it last time! But Ash reminds it that they need to learn to trust each other, so it leaps down the hole as Paul sneers at Ash's stupidity and Turtwig's unquestioning loyalty and orders Ember. Chimchar leaps to the edge of the hole and prepares to fire Ember... and Ash tells Turtwig to use Bite! But once more Paul shows he can react quickly, and tells Chimchar to leap down the hole with Turtwig attached, then use Flame Wheel! Brock cries out that Turtwig can't dodge down there and Ash tries to get it out, but it is too late, and Turtwig and Chimchar blast out of the hole surrounded in fire, and Turtwig collapses to the ground.... and then staggers back to its feet! Paul snaps at Ash, asking him if he hasn't had enough yet. Ash snaps back they're done when they win, and sends Turtwig in with Tackle. Chimchar comes back with Flamewheel, and they smash into each other with a crash and this time, finally, Turtwig goes down. "We're done when I win," replies Paul with a smirk. and. total. asshole. Ash drops to his knees and lifts up Turtwig, apologising to it while Brock and Dawn approach, telling him that it was a great battle, and Dawn saying she learnt a lot from it. But Paul snaps that there is nothing to be proud of in being a loser, and his celebrating Chimchar stops its partying and bows its head as he calls it back. Ash leaps to his feet and roars angrily at Paul, asking him if he ever says anything nice, but Paul has had enough of him, and turns and walks away from the "losers", which glare angrily at him as he leaves. Dawn tells Ash not to let Paul get to him, he isn't worth it, but Ash replies angrily that this will be the last time he ever loses to the asshole. He wants to be a Pokémon Master, and he wants to win the Sinnoh League, but right now, more than anything.... ....Ash wants to wipe the smirk off that asshole's face!
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