ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
567: Sleepless in Pre-Battle!	572: Kureseria Bui Esu Darkurai!	Nightmare on (Canalave City's) Elm Street			The twerps arrive in a town suffering nightmares; a fat little guinea pig gets punched in the face	Making too much money to sleep!	Cute kids turn into fat teenagers with bad haircuts

The twerps are still in Canalave City, crossing a bridge to arrive at the Canalave Gym, an impressive looking futuristic metallic building on top of a rocky base. Ash cries out a HELLLLOOOOOO to announce himself but only silence is returned. As the twerps (and we at home!) get the familiar sinking feeling that there isn't going to be a battle today or maybe for another 5-15 episodes.... a loud scream suddenly pierces the air.

Ouch, that'll keep you up at night, if this is a regular occurrence, the Gym Leader must be....



The doors set in amongst the rocks open and out stumbles a large, muscular man. He appears exhausted, thick bags under his eyes, and he tells the twerps that he hasn't slept since he arrived at the Gym. Ash asks for a Gym Battle and is informed the Gym Leader is actually on Iron Island training....

Oh for fucks sake!

....which is of course where Barry has gone. Ash can't believe he keeps going to Gyms without Gym Leaders (neither can we!) but the assistant assures him he'll let him know when he gets back in a few days.... and then falls asleep standing in front of them! He immediately wakes up screaming, then stumbles back into the Gym, leaving the perplexed twerps behind, battle-less.

As the twerps head away, Dawn tries to cheer him up by suggesting they go shopping, which for some bizarre reason doesn't set him a-thrill with excitement. Brock then notes that the area they're currently walking through is supposed to be the busiest shopping district.... but it's deserted! As they look around, Brock spots the police station and rushes in to sexually harass Officer Jenny, always the best idea when dealing with authority figures with the power to arrest you. Once he leaps in though, he discovers Jenny sleeping at her desk, which really isn't all that surprising for Jenny, but this time it isn't actually her fault. She wakes up and almost falls out of her seat (giving Brock a chance to FINALLY get behind her like he's always wanted) and explains to the twerps that everyone on this particular island have been having terrible nightmares recently and have been unable to get proper sleep. As a result, most have left the island (temporarily, we assume) leaving it mostly deserted and a looter's wet dream. But what is causing the nightmares? Well Jenny believes she knows the answer to that.

A Darkrai!

Yes it turns out that a Darkrai always shows up at the same time each year and gives people nightmares.... but at the same time a Cresselia that lives on nearby Full Moon (snicker) Island normally comes over and provides protection from the bad nightmares. This year however, Darkrai came over earlier than normal (maybe because it is smart?) and left everyone who has remained on the island sleepless. Jenny even took some drugs..... I mean Lunar Wing Pendant.... to stop the nightmares, but it hasn't been working for her like it is supposed to. Dawn has one too and Brock decides to take a closer look at Jenny's, and discovers it is just a Pidgey feather painted to look like a Cresselia one! Jenny is furious and bursts out the door screaming,"IT'S ARRESTING TIME!", leaving behind the surprised twerps.

But who could possibly be profiteering at a time like this?

You really had to ask?

Yes a baggy-eyed Jesse and Meowth are dressed up like Arabic hippies and selling the Lunar Wing Pendants, the tired remaining residents of the City desperate to buy the "last one". Jesse assures them they can soon make more, and when this arouses their suspicion she assures them she means they'll find them. They rush back into their tent and Meowth tells her she just needs to keep her yap shut, a fact that a baggy eyed Wobbuffet tiredly agrees with.

Jenny and the twerps arrive at the tent, inside of which Team Rocket (including James) are checking out the TRUE source of the nightmares. They have a Nightmare Maker!

How..... wha.... if they could build one why don't they sell it instead of using it to sell cheap pendants that don't work!?!

Apparently it works TOO well though, even they are having nightmares. As they loudly describe their plan in loving detail, the twerps and Jenny somehow make their way undetected right in behind them and confront them. Meowth in particular is caught unawares.



Jenny tells them she will place them under arrest, so they strip out of their clothes (hooray!) to reveal their uniforms underneath (BOOO! And how!?!) and perform their baggy-eyed motto, including a sleepy Wobbuffet and Mime Jr.

"Is that arrested development I hear?"
"Her inner rage rings loud and clear!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"In yer ear!" screams Meowth.
"Laying down the law at a breakneck pace!"
"Dashing due process, putting fear in its place!"
"A Jenny by any other name's just as bad."
"In the name of our law it looks like you've been had."
"Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Sleepy Meowth, dat's a name!"
"Putting law-abiders in their place."
"We're Team Rocket!"
"In your face!" they finish together.

Jesse asks why they always seem to manage to show up just as their plans are going well, and Ash's unspoken response is to send them blasting off..... already?

Too soon!

With Team Rocket and their machine gone, Jenny can't wait to get some sleep and Brock offers her to dream a dream of him, and gets asspunched for his problems.

That night, Jenny has prepared a meal for the twerps and offers them a room to stay in as they're tired now. But as the night wears on, a shadow falls over the remains of the Nightmare Machine, and inside Ash's mind, he finds himself in a dark dreamscape where Pikachu is being sucked down into a dark vortex coalescing into a dark shape, a dark ray of light!

I'm.... I'm not being subtle here.

The twerps all wake up screaming and Jenny rushes in, having suffered a nightmare herself. Realising that Darkrai may have finally shown up, Jenny has a solution, they'll go to Full Moon Island and look for the Cresselia!

Wh.... why didn't she do that before?

Jenny takes the THREE CHILDREN SHE ONLY JUST MET onto a boat in the middle of the night, operating this heavy machinery while exhausted on no sleep for the past week or so. As they travel along, a now well-rested looking Team Rocket follow them in their Magikarp Submarine, meaning to catch the Cresselia and become rich.

Jenny sails them through sheer cliffs into an underground passage that leads to what seem to be a stairwell carved out of the stone. She leads them up telling them that when Darkrai arrives, Cresselia will perch on a small shrine on a cliff. They head up the path where Ash spots a glowing light and finds a REAL Lunar Wing like the one that Dawn has that didn't stop her from having a nightmare, and Piplup sniffs it and leads them to..... PSYDUCK!?!

Hahaha, oh Piplup, so proud.

Dawn brings out Swinub to get the scent from the Lunar Wing and it bounces away like a little fat squeaky furry football, taking the twerps to Cresselia's Shrine. So Jenny knows about the shrine and had them on the path to the shrine and when they got halfway there and found the feather of the Pokémon (that can be found on the shrine) on the path to the shrine where the Pokémon can be found, they needed Swinub to lead them.... on up the path they were already on to get to the shrine they were already going to?

Hey look it's a pretty bird!

Team Rocket have also spotted it from down in the water, and Meowth fires a Magikarp missile that wraps a net around Cresselia and drops it unceremoniously to the ground in front of the twerps. A terrible plan from Team Rocket, there is no way they can there ahead of the twerps unless their Magikarp Submarine was somehow to become a kind of freakish monstrosity never intended by God to exis-



Oh no! What were the chances!?!

Good God it's terrifying! Meowth blasts another net missile out capturing the twerps, and when Ash orders a Thunderbolt from Pikachu it feeds back and blasts him instead. Jesse cackles with cruel delight, like a high school girl seeing her ridiculously proud boyfriend's junk for the first time on Prom Night and having exactly the wrong reaction.

Metallic hands from the Magikarp Monstrosity reach for Pikachu but Swinub tackles them with a Pudgy Takedown attempt. It tries again and again, bouncing away to land on its back, little chubby paws wriggling about as Dawn cries in despair for it to stop and Meowth has the Magikarp Monstrosity..... punch it in the fucking face! Oh Team Rocket are fucked now! Swinub evolves! From pudgy little Guinea Pig Swinub into..... GAWKY FAT TEENAGER PILOSWINE!

This time Takedown sends them blasting off again, James wondering if this is REAL blast off or just a dream, and Jesse and Meowth get a little philosophical before pinching each other’s cheeks (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!) ferociously.

Jenny (who did NOTHING while they were captured) and the twerps go and free Cresselia and Jenny asks it to help stop the nightmares, and it flies off to Canalave City, followed by Jenny and the twerps in their boat.

At the city, Cresselia flies over the city and shines bright, bringing Darkrai up out of the ground to face off with its alternate. Jenny still doesn't know why Darkrai showed up NOW when they notice that it is circling over the Nightmare Machine, and Brock figures that the disturbance caused by the Nightmare Machine drew Darkrai in earlier than normal, which in turn brought Cresselia out of the woodwork. The two Pokémon bump chests a few times and then Cresselia glows bright, Darkrai appears to look bored and goes back into the ground and Cresselia disappears in a flash of light.



And with that, Ash happily proclaims that his training for his next Gym Battle starts as soon as he has gotten a good night's sleep, and that's.... it. That's the end of the 11th Season.

Wow. How.... anti-climactic.

BEST QUOTES

"If we can't sleep, they least they could do is give us more air-time!"

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