ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
563: Aiding The Enemy!	568: Naetoru, Hayashigame... Soshite Dodaitosu!	Turtwig Gets A Fat Ass!			Ash and Paul piss each other off (again!) and have another battle	Working hard for that paper	Context when choosing moves in a battle is important Ash, you moron!

Today finds the twerps... who cares, because today it's Cynthia vs the Elite Four's Aaron! If Aaron can beat Cynthia he becomes the new Champion Master! They're fighting inside a large arena with thousands of spectators, and hundreds of thousands (probably millions!) more watching at home or in Pokémon Centres or motels around the world. In one Pokémon Centre, Paul stands with the crowd watching as the twerps rush in just in time to see the fight. Paul lets out a little "Hnh," to see them while Ash stares and whispers to himself,"It's Paul" which is either him being surprised/concerned by Paul's presence or his mind trying desperately to remind him what the thing with the purple hair and arms and legs standing in front of him is.

On the screen, Aaron has Drapion use Pin Missile, confident due to that all important mix of strength and popularity AND having been reunited with his Wurmple (now a Beautifly) thanks to the twerps. One wonders how Cynthia would feel if she learnt the twerps had been....



The battle continues, Cynthia battering Aaron's last Pokémon - Beautifly. Aaron tries to fight back but Cynthia's monstrous Gastrodon knocks it down and out - Aaron loses.... in fact, AARON GOT HIS ASS KICKED!

AHAHAHA! HE'S COMPLETELY USELESS! HE'S IN THE ELITE FOUR AS A JOKE FOR THE OTHER THREE! THEY ALL GET TOGETHER AND LAUGH BEHIND HIS BACK!

OH MY GOD! AND IT'S HIS BEAUTIFLY THAT LOST! THE ONE THAT HE DUMPED FOR BEING TOO WEAK AND THEN FELT BAD ABOUT IT! AND IT WENT AWAY AND GOT STRONG! ONLY IT'S STILL TOO WEAK! HE WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Team Rocket, working as hired help at the Center where the twerps are, are delighted to see Aaron beaten after the beating he dealt out to them. The twerps aren't sure how to deal with it since they're friends with both Cynthia and Aaron. As they talk up Cynthia's strength, Paul approaches and asks Ash how "it worked out", confusing Ash who doesn't know what he means. Paul grunts that he means Blaze, since he is apparently such a huge egotist that Ash has done nothing else is anything tangentially involving himself since they last met. Ash angrily tells him he knows Blaze is a strong move but he'd never rely on just one move, and Paul just smirks and walks away. Ash immediately forgets he exists because he isn't standing directly in front of him anymore, and decides to get in some training for Hearthome City.

Dawn has the Pokémon outside of Ash's team of Pikachu, Buneary and Chimchar rain down their attacks all at once so his trio can find ways to turn the attacks back on them. As they rumble hardcore, Paul sits amongst the trees outside the centre drinking orange juice (or ALCOHOL!?!) and trying to read a book, snapping at a disguised Jesse, James and Meowth who are tending to his Pokémon, including pruning the edges of his.... TORTERRA!?! Oh snap!

They swallow their pride since twerp money is still money and they can use that to buy into some schemes, while Paul continues to be distracted by the noise Ash is generating.

Back at the rumble, Ash's team are knocked backwards into him but he laughs it off and says they're fine and those attacks weren't nothing! Brock tells him he needs to hold some moves back or be left with nothing, and Ash wants to work on his timing more. As he heads off to do this, Brock notices Paul just.... standing there, staring.... not saying anything, just... just staring.

Dude is kind of creepy.

Brock approaches and Happiny leaps out of his arms to run up to Paul's Pokémon, while Paul himself mistakes Brock's approach as fronting and tells him to just say what he wants to say. Brock knocks Paul off-balance by telling him that he's very interested in his training style and asks what Paul's interest in Chimchar is, then snickers that he thinks Ash is starting to get to Paul. Paul insists he is just confused why Ash doesn't have Chimchar use Blaze, and Brock tells him Ash is busy trying to work out his own style of fighting, much like Paul himself is. He mentions they met Reggie and saw his collection of badges, he was missing only the Battle Frontier Brave Symbol, and Paul contemptuously tells Brock that Reggie lost one battle and gave up fighting entirely, but wasn't bitter, he was happy! Always smiling! And that's pathetic and Paul intends not to make the same mistake! But then he hears a noise and sees that Ash's strategy is working out now, Pikachu, Buizel and Chimchar have knocked the other Pokémon down.

As they celebrate though, Paul approaches, freaking out Chimchar. Paul infuriates Ash when he tells him that he is training in exactly the same way as he himself does, having other Pokémon attack the Pokémon he is training in order to make it better. Dawn yells that Ash is in training for his rematch at the Hearthome Gym, and Ash remembers that Paul fought there, a fact Paul is only too happy to acknowledge.



Ash admits he lost against Fantina due to Hypnosis, but he has a strategy now. Paul is contemptuous of course, as far as he is concerned all you have to do is keep hitting Fantina's Pokémon until they fall over. Ash, getting screechier, insists that he has faith in his Pokémon and this time will be different and Paul just grunts that he is pathetic, so Ash demands they have a match. Paul grunts back that all Ash had to say was that he'll use Chimchar's Blaze and the rematch against Fantina WOULD be different, and that just riles Ash up further as he insists that he doesn't mess around with Blaze. So Paul agrees, one Pokémon per side, and Turtwig instantly volunteers, it wants to fight!

So they're ready to go, Ash has Turtwig and Paul sends out.... Honchkrow!



HOLY SHIT! IT'S THE MAYOR OF AWESOME TOWN! POPULATION: FUCK YOU!

Ash checks out Honchkrow with the Pokédex and learns it is the "Big Boss" Pokémon..... this is the coolest fucking Pokémon!

Honchkrow uses Sky Attack, Turtwig blasts Energy Ball and scores a direct hit that does barely any damage. Honchkrow divebombs in, but Turtwig dodges it once, twice, then goes for Razor Leaf, but Honchkrow comes back around and scores a shot and Brock yells at Ash to stop going too easy. Honchkrow tries Aerial Ace and Turtwig tries bite but takes a direct shot, and is unable to dodge a second Aerial Ace, sending it tumbling. Ash asks if it can still keep battle and Turtwig.... EVOLVES! The best part of its sudden evolution is that it glows white and starts changing shape, and Ash's first exclamation after 10+ years of this show is,"WHAT'S GOING ON!?!"

It evolves into Grotle as Paul's Torterra watches with some interest as it is pruned by a VERY interested Team Rocket. Honchkrow tries Aerial Ace again so Ash tells Grotle to dodge and use Energy Ball, so it crouches down and prepares to jump... at which point it realises it just evolved itself a FAAAT ASS!

Honchkrow tries Sky Attack and Grotle tips over its own legs as it tries to Bite, allowing Honchkrow time to hit a Sky Attack on Grotle. Ash is confused, why isn't it as fast as it was when it was 7 times smaller!?! Paul smirks that Ash is a pathetic Trainer with an equally pathetic Pokémon and asks him where his "faith" is now, and if he thinks "faith" is enough to win he's no better than any other lowlife loser trainer because he doesn't realise what changes have happened in the evolution from Turtwig to Grotle.

Wow, dude doesn't pull any punches.

He has Honchkrow blast Turtwig with Dark Pulse, knocking it right the fuck out. The battle is over, Paul has won, and Grotle has ended up in the Pokémon Centre! It's about as big a loss as it's possible to have without being Aaron with his useless Bug Pokémon. As Nurse Joy tends to it, Dawn asks Ash what is going on, why didn't Grotle get stronger when it evolved? Brock explains that Grotle got heavier (you know, being bigger now!) and wasn't used to its new bulk when trying to move.

HOW DID ASH NOT KNOW THIS!?!

Outside, Paul is training his Pokémon by having his Torterra attempt to tentacle rape Weavile. After it smashes it out of the air, it starts looking over towards the centre where Grotle is being tended to and Paul tells it to quit it and let it be.

Later, inside the Pokémon Centre, Ash is talking to Grotle in their room, telling it he is happy it evolved and it did a great job in the match and displayed real strength, but it doesn't really seem to be taking it in. That night as they all sleep, Grotle wakes up and tries to leave the room. This wakes Chimchar and then the other Pokémon who follow it outside where it is attempting to adapt to its new bulk by smashing its head open on the ground.

Team Rocket, out of disguise now, spot it and Meowth explains what it is doing. Grotle is upset at its fat ass and the other Pokémon show up to try and give it a morale boost, at which point the ground starts to shake as a behemoth approaches out of the darkness.

Inside the Pokémon Centre, Staravia and Piplup are attempting to either wake up Ash and Dawn or eat their cheeks out of their faces, while Croagunk has a full-proof method of waking up Brock. Outside, the behemoth was - of course - Torterra, which seems interested in.... Gliscor for some reason!?! The twerps come through the bushes and spot the Pokémon, and Gliscor throwing down on a motionless Torterra which absorbs all the damage Gliscor can throw at it. The twerps aren't the only ones watching, so are Team Rocket, and Torterra's resiliency causes Jesse to chirp up with a VERY odd line.

"Rigid! Like you James!"

Only when the navy's in town!

Brock explains to Dawn and Ash that it is choosing to stand and take the attacks from Gliscor, until finally Gliscor gets cocky and gets too close, at which point it slams down Gliscor and then sends some tentacle rape its way, pulling up short of horrible orifice penetration.



Ash finally clicks and runs up to join the Pokémon, explaining to the 4 people in the world who DIDN'T get it that it was showing Grotle about choosing the best time to attack. Satisfied, Torterra turns and leaves, while Ash apologises to Grotle for not knowing this already himself and getting carried away during the battle with Paul.

Team Rocket meanwhile have taken off without attacking!?! Flying through the air, the reveal that they too learnt a lesson from Torterra, learn when to pick the time to attack and cheese it when it isn't right! And that's what they're doing now!

It only took them more than a decade to figure it out!

The next day, the twerps are preparing to leave when they bump into Paul. Ash wants to thank Torterra for the previous night but he scowls that it had NOTHING to do with him and walks away, causing Dawn to shout out,"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"

Ash could care less though, telling Chimchar that this really goes to show you can't judge a Pokémon by its trainer, and now it's time for them to FINALLY win that 5th Gym Badge. And with that, they're off on their (temporarily) separate ways.

BEST QUOTES

"Rigid! Like you James!"

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