ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
560: Double Team Turnover!	565: Ginga-Dan Shugeki!! -Kohen-	Success of the Undercover Zombie Boss!			Team Galactic refuse to give up the Lustrous Orb	The spanner in the works of the best laid plans	Tight clothing and no underwear gets you a promotion

Last episode, the twerps encountered Cynthia, her Grandmother Carolina, and a creepily friendly zombie called Cyrus. When Ash and Dawn revealed that they had seen two of the three Lake Guardians, they were taken to see the mysterious Lustrous Orb. At this point Team Galactic executed a meticulously planned raid that entailed just walking straight up to the Research Centre in full view of the police, setting explosives and blowing them up. With Team Rocket disguised as police right there in front of Officer Jenny; Cyrus apparently in league with Team Galactic's Saturn; and Croagunk stabbed IN THE FREAKING BELLY by Toxicroak, things aren't looking good for the twerps. They're in for a....



This ain't just a bunch of twerps, an old lady, a zombie, and an incompetent corrupt police officer though. Cynthia is the Sinnoh Champion, and she's got a little something to give to Team Galactic... a monstrous sea abomination!



Oh God! Kill it! Set it alight!

It's a Gastrodon, and Cynthia has it use Stone Edge as Jesse and James cower behind Jenny and Dawn scoops up the injured Croagunk. Stones shoot out from Gastrodon and wipe out the Golbats, and Cynthia bitches out Team Galactic's B-Squad for being pathetic. Saturn and his A-Team aren't worried though, Saturn's Toxicroak gives him confidence, not that Cynthia is impressed. She actively dismisses him with an "Oh please," before everything sets to for the big throwdown. The twerps call out their Pokémon, the female Team Galactic B-Squad Leader calls out Purugly with a Shadow Ball and Saturn has Toxicroak use Dark Pulse. Pikachu and Chimchar put a stop to those though, Pachirisu and Piplup stop the Golbat's attacks, and then Cynthia sends her boys in to wreck some shit, kicking up a mass of smoke, while Pikachu charges Toxicroak with Volt Tackle. Saturn sees it coming and dismissively tells Toxicroak to "stop it", and it swings a nasty glowing spike at Pikachu... but Chimchar jumps in the way, saving Pikachu and taking a gutting itself!



That fucking Toxicroak is a menace!

Jesse and James grab the Lustrous Orb and start to cheese it, James wearing the Orb under his hat, only for Jenny to spot them and ask where they are going. James twists around and the Orb spills off of his head, the fighting stopping as everyone sees it about to smash. Meowth leaps forward and catches it, and as they celebrate saving it, Carolina proves she's the only observant one - Meowth spoke! Nothing for it but the motto then!

"Seems you want, what we've got!" says Jesse, which is right in so many different ways!
"Team Galactic's not so hot!" adds James, which is ALSO right in so many different ways!
"We grabbed da gusto coz we're Johnny on da Spot!"
"You're not funny!" shouts Ash, ruining the cadence.
"Give us the orb, while you can!" says Cynthia, opening things back up again.
"You're quite a champion at hurling empty threats too!" says Jesse.
"Though I'd stick to Pokémon if I were you," says James, and they're back on track... till Meowth cuts them off with a,"ZIP IT WE GOT WORK TAH DO!"

Meowth has figured out that they have the advantage, one wrong move from Team Galactic, the police, the twerps, Cynthia.... ANYONE.... and they'll smash the Orb. Of course, being Team Rocket, they have to rub it in!



Still, if Jesse "rubbed it in" by wiggling her ass at you, you probably wouldn't complain.

Cyrus gives a little nod to Saturn who steps aside and allows Team Rocket to leave with the Orb, then snaps his fingers and sends the Golbats out the windows, distracting everyone and allowing Team Galactic to get out as well. Ash wants to follow but Cynthia tells them they need to get Chimchar and Croagunk treatment, and Officer Jenny rushes off to either assemble her troops or find a way to cover her ass for this huge fuck-up. Cynthia says she will come with them but sends out Garchomp to "handle the orb", and Ash sends Staravia out to look as well. Cynthia apologizes to Cyrus for his visit being ruined, HE apologises to HER for leaving the Orb open to being stolen, and Carolina claims it is HER fault since she was the one who took the orb out. If only Officer Jenny was around, she could agree with all of them!

Outside, yet ANOTHER Team Galactic Lieutenant has received the word that Team Rocket has the orb. This one is a tall female with purple hair.... and an incredibly tight uniform with a visible cameltoe!



Guess that's one way to climb the corporate ladder.

Her grunts have the Spear Key, which they use to track the Lustrous Orb and, presumably, Team Rocket. At the Pokémon Centre, Nurse Joy has given Brock medicine to give Croagunk and Chimchar, presumably after performing surgery on their punctured stomachs. Ash blames himself for focusing so much on getting the orb back instead of thinking about their safety. Chimchar cups his cheek while Cynthia asks if this is Paul's old Chimchar and then holds its hands and tells it to remember that Ash and Paul have both had lots of different experiences and it needs to look out for BOTH of them. She's giving them a lesson, one that Ash doesn't seem to understand, about the way he and Paul's encounters have "born something new".

Well they might have to wait 9 months.

Team Rocket have found themselves trapped in the city, the orb kept safely in Carnivine's mouth (and getting a pat on the head for it!). The police are everywhere, but Jesse might have spotted a way out thanks to Jenny's complete incompetence at actually guarding the forests OUTSIDE of town. As she's looking though, they're spotted by a Golbat, and shortly after, Staravia.

In the Pokémon Centre, Dawn is scared about the "new world" that Team Galactic are constantly talking about, while Cynthia tries to figure out why they want the Adamant and Lustrous Orb and Brock comes to a startling conclusion - the orbs are just a means to an end, their plans really hinge on.... Dialga and Palkia!

Yeah, them. The Gods of Space and Time.

Cynthia suddenly decides that was just what she was thinking, taking credit for Brock's idea. Back at the Research Centre, Carolina and Cyrus are checking out the damage from the explosion earlier, though Cyrus is more interested in the Golbat he spots over the forest. At the Pokémon Centre, Staravia returns to the twerps to let them know it found Team Rocket, who themselves have just been discovered at the Ruins by Carolina and Cyrus. Cynthia drives her huge goddamn Humvee towards the ruins, sending Garchomp ahead with Pikachu on its back, while Piplup bounces up clumsily onto Staravia's back because it wants to go too.

Inside the Ruins, Team Galactic's B-Squad - G2 - has blocked the exit to the ruins, enraging Team Rocket when they reveal that they let them leave the Centre so it would be easier for them to get to later. They can't believe they were used by such "sharp dressers with weird haircuts"! Bronzor and Purugly attack as Team Rocket squeal that they "need their bodies!" but are knocked out of the air by Garchomp, and Team Rocket realise to their surprise that they're under the Pikachu Protection Plan! As the twerps arrive and things look set to rumble again, Team Rocket pull the old reliable standby and remind everyone that the Orb - and its safety - is in their hands.

Or rather, mouth.

Everyone freezes as Jesse reminds them that one wrong move and the Orb becomes lunch, but as everyone else tries to figure out a way around them, Cyrus has had enough, and this motherfucker means business!



Oh shit!

He screams at the "idiots" to look behind them at the triangle, telling them that the orb in conjunction with the Lake Guardians will bring forth legends. As he raves at them (including let rip with maniacal laughter!) the twerps are surprised, Carolina is uneasy and Cynthia looks suspicious. Cyrus insists that he refuses to let the Orb be shattered and the truth must be revealed, the Adamant Orb is Dialga and the Lustrous Orb is Palkia!

Oh!

Golbats swarm in all around and Ash has Pikachu use Thunderbolt, then Piplup uses Bubble Beam, before Garchomp just cuts through the rest. Cyrus cackles evilly and then, against all expectations, Eek the Cat shows up and steals the Orb!

Well, hands up who was expecting that? Garchomp even looks a little like Sharky!

It blasts Team Rocket off, then bounds up to the G3 Leader and her ridiculous cameltoe. Cynthia overhears her reporting and rushes off with Carolina, leaving behind a smirking Cyrus.

That night, Team Rocket are ranting about Team Galactic being blasted off, then considering whether what Cyrus said was true, and even if you could summon Dialga and Palkia.... how would you handle them? In the Pokémon Centre, Cyrus apologises for not doing more but tells Ash not to blame himself, he did all he could. He leaves the Centre, Cynthia watching him go with a strange look.

The next day, Cynthia says her goodbyes to the twerps, but then Nurse Joy steps out to tell her that she just received word that the new contender for the role of Champion has been decided. She tells the twerps that while all this stuff with Dialga, Palkia, Team Galactic etc is important, it's also important to live a regular life. Easy for her to say when this IS her regular life!

Elsewhere, the three Team Galactic Lieutenants are placing the Lustrous Orb alongside the Adamant Orb. Their leader emerges, and it should really come as no surprise who it actually is. Cyrus steps out wearing a Galactic Uniform but retains a proper hairstyle, comments on Saturn's acceptance that while his mission was successful there were too many fuck-ups, and then puts Ms. Cameltoe - Jupiter - in charge. Her first decision? To bring in "the Pokémon Hunter", which can only mean one person.... oooooh shit! Cyrus cackles, he's ready for the latest phase of their operation.... the operation to bring about a whole new world!

I'll leave you this image to decide if that is a good thing or not.

BEST QUOTES

"The insult of being used by sharp dressers!" "With weird haircuts!"

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