ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
552: Up Close and Personable!	557: Kenkyu Happyo, Mizumi no Densetsu!	PokéMeatballs II			The twerps get homework! Sexual tension is through the roof!	They get punished too.... nah, Jesse's got tits!	Rule breakers get punished... for breaking rules!

Summer Camp!

Last episode, Stern Professor Rowan sternly put the twerps into Summer School! Ash, Brock and Dawn arrived at a Summer Camp run by Rowan to finally get some education. Also at camp was Jesse (disguised as Jesselinda), creepy Max from the Future (Conway) and a young boy who Ash immediately got on the wrong side of.... only to discover that "he" was a "she"! After a few misunderstandings, Ash and Angie became friends, and after an aborted attempt at strip poker between Ash, Angie, Brock and Dawn.... maybe something more!

With the first days done, Ash and Angie discovered that their initial squabbling cost their team points, putting Conway's Team Blue and Jesselinda's Team Green ahead of them. They've promised to work together to put Team Red on top, nicely setting the scene for some great summertime camp hijinks with contests, romantic misunderstandings, accidental nudity and maybe Ash might just get laid if he and Angie continue to get....



Wouldn't that drive Brock mad!

On the third day, Rowan and his assistants take the campers to a nearby lake filled with Water Pokémon, where the campers are expected to work solo or in groups on a presentation of the Pokémon, which are still being researched and cannot be captured.

The twerps head to a nearby pier where some Pokémon-themed boats are resting in the water, and a gleam of light from the opposite shore seems to momentarily hypnotise Pikachu which stumbles towards the water before snapping out of it. Before Ash can explore further, Angie steps up and asks him if he wants to go out on the lake alone together in the boat.

OOOOOOOOOH!

And Brock asks Dawn if she wants to do the same.

EEEEEEEEEW!

They all head out together, while in another boat Jesse rides in the back under a sun umbrella with two horny young boys doing the piloting for her. James and Meowth are watching from the shore before getting down to work repairing an old park bench.

Ash and Angie get splashed with water by a Dewgong and Angie spots a Sealeo, and they both decide to make each the subject of their presentation. Meanwhile Dawn has spotted a Gorebyss, and Conway rows up beside Dawn and offers her lots of nerdy information about it, referring to it as long, lean, pink and beautiful.

Yes it's just as creepy as it sounds.

Brock spots a Chinchou as Conway rows away, while Jesselinda symbolically spins her breast-shaped parasol in the boys’ faces and asks what Pokémon they'll be observing for her. She is offended by her two chauffeurs decision to do a presentation on an ugly Relicanth and demands they find a Suicune for her or something similarly beautiful, refusing to hear their weak protests that there don't seem to be any of these legendary near mythical creatures of folklore just hanging about at the moment.

Meanwhile, Ash and Angie are about one misunderstanding away from a make-out party!

The Dewgong and Sealeo they each wanted to study are now swimming in different directions and Ash and Angie are both trying to force their heads through the other's to see where they're going. Shinx gets caught in the middle, which isn't anywhere near as erotic as it sounds, while James and Meowth sit on their fixed park bench and eat their lunch.

It's a living.

Ash and Angie seem to have recovered from their headbanging only to get angry at each other after savagely critiquing the other's art as they sketch their Pokémon. Realising that their lousy art isn't going to do it for Professor Rowan, they decide to go for a swim and Brock and Dawn join them (they have NO sense of when a couple wants some privacy), while Jesselinda continues to get furious at her chauffeurs' poor choices of Pokémon for study, including a Carvanha that almost bites her head off.

Meanwhile.... oh dear! Yes, Gentle Dodgers, that's Conway with a breathing apparatus lurking underneath the water watching Dawn swim her half-nude glistening wet body through the water.

Oh Creepy Max, what happened to you in the future?

The twerps get out of the water to dry off and laugh about how terrible they are at writing reports (because, you know, they don't actually go to school, just bum around the countryside without jobs) so Conway slides up behind Dawn with a waggle of his glasses to tell her that he could write her report for her, all she has to do is talk and he'll transcribe. As she nervously tries to figure out a way to fob him off without calling him a speccy creepy freaky pervert, Angie's Shinx sees the same light that Pikachu saw earlier and starts staggering towards it. Angie (who has gone up two cup sizes since the previous day) realises it is gone and they all go looking for it till Piplup sees the same light and begins staggering towards it as well. Dawn snaps it out of it and Ash tells them about how Pikachu "got all spacey" earlier, and then Conway slides up behind Dawn to sniff her hair before telling them about a legend about this lake, of a strange blue light that flashes and causes Pokémon to disappear.

Sure was great of Rowan to bring a bunch of small children up here!

The twerps rush away and Conway shouts after them that they're not supposed to go away from the lake, then creepily murmurs that he'll go where Dawn goes. They all rush away and James and Meowth pop their heads up from behind a bush, speculating that the source of the flash of light might be treasure.

Next we see the twerps, they were apparently so concerned for Shinx that they went and dried themselves off and got dressed before heading towards where they saw the flash of light. Dawn is doing her best to get rid of Conway who insists on coming with them.

Meanwhile, small boys are giving Jesse a full body massage!

Oh like you wouldn't!

James and Meowth pop up out of the bushes and try to get her attention, and she angrily mutters at them, asking what the hell THEY are doing here? After all, we wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea about the two janitors who sleep in the same room as her.

As dark clouds form overhead, the twerps arrive at a rockface and a dark cave, and Conway tells Dawn not to be scared, he'll protect her. Promptly rain thunders down and Conway runs squealing into the cave, joined soon after by the twerps as they try to get under cover. A shining light deeper in the cave gets their attention and Conway remembers that the legend says the light comes from the "green cave"....

Only JUST remembered that, Conway?

They head deeper into the cave, the light flashing again and spacing out Pikachu for a moment. Angie runs down to find Shinx and they enter a huge open cave filled with a glowing green liquid. Deep down the light shines brighter and Dawn has to snap Piplup out of a trance, and she and Ash pick up Piplup and Pikachu and lift their Pokémon up as the light emerges from the water to reveal....



LAAAAAAAAME!

Conway tells Dawn (as she tries to get the same information from her Pokédex) that it is a Lumineon, which attracts Pokémon with glowing lights.... and what? Eats them? Sexually molests them? Uses their bodies as host for eggs?

The lame disappointment drops back into the water and Conway says it shouldn't be in a place like this. Just then Shinx steps out from behind some rocks and Angie rushes over to it to snap it out of its trance, and Brock suggests they use the near sexual molestation/death of Shinx as the basis for their presentation.... but then Jesse shows up, declaring that she has finally found a Pokémon to write a presentation on. She suggests she means to capture Lumineon and study it, which is expressly against the rules, in fact Dawn says it sounds like something Team Rocket would do. Jesse(linda) calls Yanmega out and Conway steps in front of Ash and calls out Slowking, telling a sweating Dawn that he means to do this... FOR HER!

Oh God he's so creepy.

Slowking beats the crap out of Yanmega and knocks it and Jesse down and out, and James, Meowth and Wobbuffet quickly rush her away before the twerps and Conway can see them.

The twerps head back to observe Lumineon but it seems to be gone, so Ash strips down and dives underwater with Buizel, swimming down and discovering an underwater tunnel. As they resurface, Brock seems to have spotted something on the back of a rock, and tells the twerps that he figures Lumineon swims in from the ocean through the tunnel to eat the seaweed like he just discovered on the back of the rock.... and that's enough for their presentation!

Oh also they could, you know, let some people know what happened to their missing, presumably devoured Pokémon.

They head back outside where the rain has stopped, spot a rainbow and head back to the lake as from deep in the tunnel the flashing light that calls Pokémon to their doom starts up once again. Back at camp, they give their presentation on Lumineon, offering a half-baked series of implausible mistruths and assumptions without any evidence to back it up.

So of course, their presentation receives full possible points!

Thankfully, Professor Rowan is one stern motherfucker and points out that they left lakeside without permission and thus they lose four points! Haha, eat that, twerps!

Jesselinda is delighted and steps up to instruct the twerps that they better have learned their lessons, till another teacher notes that she also went away from the lake and so she loses four points too, which she immediately blames her former chauffeurs for. Conway also loses four points, but he doesn't seem to really care, he got to watch half naked Dawn glisten in the water and sniff her hair!

Rowan looks out over the forest and mutters to himself that Lumineon is back a little early this year, suggesting he knew and didn't tell any of the kids of the potential danger... thus proving what a stern ass motherfucker he is. Don't break the rules and leave the lake and there's no reason you need to know about the Pokémon-eating fish monster living in a nearby cave!

So the twerps end the third day of camptime shenanigans having to scrub floors and windows because of that hardass Camp Leader! A perfect set-up for what must surely be sneaking his bed out onto the lake the next morning AND a way of pointing out that this isn't "The Famous Five" where irresponsible teens find missing treasure and get an OBE from the Queen.



But as the twerps slave, Jesse reminds us all that beauty and a fabulous rack has its advantages, as she "suffers" through her punishment.



And on that note, Gentle Dodgers, with the "good guys" forced to work for being loose units who play by their own rules but have hearts of gold while the pretty ice queen bitch swans about getting what she wants, we're well set up for another day of Summertime Camp Hijinks.

See you next episode!

BEST QUOTES

"....it's long, beautiful pink body....."

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