ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
542: Strategy With A Smile!	547: Kessen! Hikari Bui Esu Haruka!	May vs Dawn!			It’s May vs Dawn for The Wallace Cup!	Jesse doesn’t report the news, she IS the news!	If you hang around with Ash, you’ll always JUST fail at the final hurdle

Last episode saw Ash continue his long history of choking in big tournaments and being knocked out of the special Contest Tournament "The Wallace Cup". Through to the final four however was Dawn, May, Zoey and Kyle "The Hurricane" Hair, the latter the one who knocked Ash out of the contest and a real asshole to boot!

So now Dawn has to beat the person who beat Ash; and even if she does she'll have to face one of her two friends/potential creepy stalkers in either May or Zoey. It's always tough fighting friends, but you have to put on a smile and get out there and do it, Dawn! Use some strategy, smile, and try and win that Wallace Cup! Use....



So it's Piplup against Crawdaunt, both leaping into the water after their initial attacks negated each other. Piplup kicks up a Whirlpool that sucks in Crawdaunt AND looks pretty, but Crawdaunt is able to use Surf to turn the power of Whirlpool against Piplup, knocking it flying and costing Dawn points. Crawdaunt leaves the water while backstage the twerps comment that this isn't a power match since they're both Water Types and unable to really hurt each other, so it's all about looking good.

Kyle orders a Dark Pulse, Crawdaunt blasting purple and black rings of crackling energy through the air, but Piplup spins between them and uses Bide to steal the dramatic look away from Crawdaunt, costing Kyle points. Kyle is surprised, he's never seen Bide used in that way before, so he goes to the basics and orders Crabhammer.... and Piplup UNLEASHES THE FUCKING FURY!

Piplup unleashes all the energy it took in with Bide, hitting a completely exposed Crawdaunt and causing to fall clumsily into the water as time runs out.... Kyle just got completely dominated by a ten year old girl who has had recent self-esteem issues!

Dawn still only JUST wins on points despite her dominance, and the Judges say both teams can be proud of what they did.... but come on, they're just being nice, Kyle and his ugly crab just got their asses kicked by a little girl and her squeaky penguin!

Jessedia interviews Dawn backstage, asking for a comment and then completely ignoring her after Dawn manages to gasp out an,"Uh... uhh...."

Jesse declares that this is profound, the audience heard it here first, "Uh uhh" is the catchphrase for a new generation, slamming her face directly into the camera so she's the only thing that can be seen.

Back onstage, it's Zoey versus May, tits versus androgyny, with the right to creepily stalk Dawn on the line! Beautifly comes out against Glameow and instantly kicks off with Silver Wind to buffet Glameow. Zoey tells Glameow to jump clear which loses May points for some reason, so May orders a Psychic Attack. Glameow dodges and tries Shadow Claw, but Beautifly dodges and gains points.... but Zoey is playing the long game, having Glameow slam Shadow Claw into the water and send water up all around Beautifly, cutting off its mobility. But while Dawn and Brock compliment Zoey's strategy, the battler in Ash speaks up; pointing out that now Glameow is affecting its own mobility.

Zoey orders a Shockwave that blasts up and around the waves and directly into Beautifly, the electricity and water mix causing Beautiful extra damage. Both Pokémon leave the water crackling with electricity, but in Glameow's case it creates an impressive visual effect that will cost May points.

Up in the rafters, Jesse is unimpressed, claiming its cheesy.

Zoey calls for an Iron Tail, and Beautifly shields itself from view by using Silver Wind to blast up a curtain of water between them, taking a page from Zoey's playbook. Glameow's pushes through the water and comes out the other side to find Beautifly waiting for it, smashing it full force with Psychic and stealing Zoey's thunder. Beautifly glows with Morning Sun, healing itself AND looking good, before flipping back into an Aerial Ace, surprising Ash. Zoey orders Shadow Claw and the two Pokémon clash together JUST as time runs out!



And with the timer at zero, everyone looks to the scoreboard to see who the winner is, and it's..... not even close! May completely shattered Zoey despite all her clever techniques and won easily!

Tits beats androgyny! It's a tale as old as time!

Zoey looks shocked, then smiles and tells Glameow not to feel bad about them getting their asses handed to them despite using every trick and strategy in the book and demonstrating every skill they have.

Backstage, Dawn is starting to freak out again at the thought of facing the "Princess of Hoenn", squeezing Piplup too roughly and making it squeak. Brock points out that Dawn hasn't won a contest in awhile and May just beat Zoey, who has beaten Dawn ALOT! Dawn agrees, but says they're in the Final now and she means to win, and Zoey shows up to tell her that's the spirit.

Meanwhile May is being interviewed by Jessedia, trying to talk about Beautifly when Jesse cuts her off to jam her face into the camera again, soaking up all the attention she can possibly get.

Finally the time has arrived! It's the Final of The Wallace Cup, the twerps and their Pokémon sitting in the stands, the latter with pom poms to cheer their friends on. Waiting to come out, Dawn and May are determined to put on the best show possible and - no matter who wins - they'll remain friends.

That's always much easier to say for the winner.

As Marion introduces them, we see Dawn's mother watching on television; May's family watching from home (and Slaking's there too!); and somewhere in distant Johto, the odd "FABULOUS Collective" of Harley, Drew and Soledad are watching the girl whose pants they're all trying to get into (just in different ways).

Wallace says a few words of crap about how everyone's a winner in this contest with only winner, and then things are kicked off with Piplup coming out against Glaceon, facing off across the water. Piplup uses Bubble Beam but Glaceon dodges and uses Secret Power to glow with light and.... well, headbutt Piplup!

Piplup staggers up seemingly paralysed by Secret Power, and Dawn loses a few points. Dawn tells Piplup to relax and stop fighting it, while May orders an Ice Shard that blasts down.... well, shards of ice! Piplup still can't move but it sure can tumble, so it rolls it's fat ass over and falls into the water, sinking down deep as the gathered crowd are left to wonder if it's drowning due to paralysis down there.... and from the look on Glaceon's face, it's be fine and dandy with that!

Sinking into the water, Piplup is surprised to realise it can move again, and bursts up dramatically out of the water, and Dawn takes the chance to add to the drama by ordering a mid-air Whirlpool.



May doesn't seem worried though, orders Mirror Coat which sends the Whirlpool back double-strength at Piplup! Piplup recovers okay though and comes back hard with Bubble Beam, scoring a direct hit on Glaceon. May tells Glaceon to come back with Shadow Ball, which Piplup spins to dodge, but May has an idea now, ordering Secret Power again. Brock has already explained that on the stage it causes Paralysis, but May has spotted splashed water pooling on the stage, and that means Secret Power could put Piplup to sleep, effectively winning the contest immediately for May. Glaceon is too quick for Piplup to dodge, and it is sent spinning through the air.... but then lands staunchly, having taken no damage, the Secret Power only causing a pretty sparkle that actually COSTS May points.

Zoey points out that Secret Power's effects are still random, all this particular Secret Power did was the same as a Tackle, and since Piplup was already spinning to dodge, it was able to use the move to its own advantage.

Glaceon blasts Shadow Ball into the air and then kicks it at Piplup, which blasts a spinning Bubble Beam at it, knocking it out of the air and then trapping Glaceon in spiralling Bubbles. But time is running out and they're both still only scoring glancing blows, so the pace picks up as both Pokémon are ordered to perform a series of moves. Each one dodges and counters, Piplup blasting a Whirlpool up in defence against Ice Shard, then riding the Whirlpool like it was Surfing. Glaceon blasts the water with Shadowball, kicking up a blast of water that Piplup hides inside, emerging to hit Bubblebeam in a direct hit on Glaceon. May steals the idea from Dawn though, having Glaceon use Shadow Ball again, and when Piplup pecks it out of the air (Damn, Piplup!) it creates a screen that allows Glaceon to blast Piplup with a direct hit of Ice Shard.

Less than half a minute to go and points are roughly even. Dawn realises she needs a big hit to finish things off, but May is expecting it and is ready. When Piplup tries Whirlpool, Glaceon throws up Mirror Coat again, ready to send Piplup's big bomb back at it double strength.

It succeeds and both Pokémon are blasted back as time runs out, leaving everyone wondering who the winner is, the points seemingly too close to call, both on about 25% of their points left. Everyone at the arena or watching around the world waits and waits as Marion waffles on and on, and then finally the winner is declared.....



DAWN!

Dawn wins! Dawn wins! Despite her final big move being countered and demonstrating that she'd run out of ideas since she used that move right near the start of the finals, it doesn't matter, May's big tits weren't enough to sway Wallace, Dawn wins!

May tells Glaceon not to feel bad, then congratulates Dawn who still can't quite seem to believe it, starting to cry as Piplup leaps up into her arms. The judges rave about the quality of the match, and at home Dawn's mother offers congratulations to the daughter she dumped out on the world and bitched out in her first few contests.

May is presented with her ribbon by Wallace, Milotic floating it across the air to her, and as the crowd cheers and the twerps clap, Dawn celebrates. She didn't just get back on that horse after being bucked off, she rode it like a bucking bronco and broke it down, then raced it to win the Kentucky Derby! She just won The Wallace Cup!



Wallace says his final speech, congratulating everyone and hoping they will all meet again at the next Wallace Cup. Milotic blasts waters into the air which rains down on the adoring crowd, while a fired up Jesse watches from the rafters and declares that next time she WILL win, she'll get new Pokémon and win another ribbon damn it! As she declares this, Meowth stares rather disinterestedly up her short skirt at paradise, truly earning that moustache he's wearing.

But now the time has come to say goodbye. May travelled across the water to evolve her Eevee and win the Wallace Cup, and she accomplished half of her goals. Brock makes some pathetic line about how she won't get to taste cooking like his again and she laughs it off, while he dies a little more inside. She shakes hands with Dawn then Ash, promising Dawn that the next time they fight she means to be the winner. And just like that she's gone, waving as she disappears once more into the sunset, taking her ridiculously large boobs with her perhaps pondering a constant of the Universe.

Whenever she's with Ash, just like he himself always does, she falls on the final hurdle.

BEST QUOTES

"Thoughts and feelings?" "Uhh.... uhhhhhh....." "Now that’s profound! A quotable utterance if there ever was one! Remember folks, you heard it here first! “Uhh uhhhhh” the catchphrase for a new generation!"

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