ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
540: Staging A Heroes' Welcome!	545: Minna Raibaru! Mikuri Kappu!	Lesbian Hair Brushing Action			The twerps, Zoey and Jesse take part in the Wallace Cup	They have the skills to pay the bills?	Nobody gives a shit what your hair looks like, especially penguins

With the return of May to the show, things look like they're about to be shaken up, with both her, Dawn AND Ash all set to take part in The Wallace Cup - a Coordinator Contest to honour the visiting Hoenn Contest Master Wallace.

Poor Brock, he'll never experience such a threesome.

Sinnoh Now is, of course, covering the Contest, which is now only 24 hours away, and all the coordinators are beginning to gather together now for the three day event. May's back, the contest is ready to start, it looks like we're....



May, Munchlax and Piplup are all enjoying HUGE cookies, while Dawn seems a little less than excited (after all, she doesn't fit into that short skirt by eating giant cookies!). Brock tries a clumsy come on to a young lady selling crepes and gets jabbed by Croagunk, and May laughs that Croagunk is doing Max's job now.

In Kanto, Misty angrily shoves a bewildered Tracey out of bed and breaks down sobbing.

Ash shows up loudly declaring he has registered when a familiar voice gets his attention, they've encountered Zoey again. She's surprised to hear he is entering and he tells her that Wallace suggested it, and she is excited to learn he met Wallace, and then actually goes ahead and admits that she was... okay.... maybesortakinda wrong about Ash, since she herself has finally realised that she needs to adapt contest AND battle techniques in order to get the best out of her performances. Ash just grins because he doesn't know what the fuck, and then Dawn comes over and introduces May to Zoey. May is friendly and says she has heard a lot about her, and Zoey says the same before completely blanking her and turning away to talk to Dawn, completely disinterested.

May just got Brocked!

That night, Jesselina is in preparation with Mime Jr, still under the misapprehension that James and Meowth did something to get her the victory. Finally they can't take it anymore as she gushes about how they're going to do it again, and admit to her the horrible truth.... she won fair and square! Using nothing but her own skills and talent she won!

"My.... skills?" gasps Jesse quietly, who has never realised that said skills may, in fact, be able to pay the bills!

The next day, it's ON! The Wallace Cup is ready to begin on Valor Lake Front, Wallace's "flock of frenzied fans" represented by young girls in white hats surrounding a confused James and Meowth. Backstage, May and Zoey are both excited, but Dawn is in a panic, desperately trying to brush her hair into shape. Zoey steps forward but before she gets a chance, it's May who has taken the brush and started fixing Dawn's hair for her, leaving Zoey to stand awkwardly and offer encouragement.

May, who is wearing a heart shaped pattern over her suspiciously suddenly larger boobs, is surprised to hear she is nervous, and tells her there really is "no need to worry", especially with such pretty hair! This causes Dawn to blush, and Zoey to probably inwardly seethe.

Marion introduces Wallace, who appears after Milotic bursts out of the water and parts the waves to reveal the Contest Master.



Dude can make an entrance!

Backstage everyone looks enthralled, including Jesse who can't believe that "her fan" is here! Marion introduces the Judges, Mr Contesta, Mr Sukizo and.... yeah, here's like the local Nurse Joy 'n shit.... then explains that winning the ribbon in this special contest will count towards ANY Grand Festival qualification, no matter what region.

And then the talk is over and it's time for the Performance to begin, and first up is.... May! She runs out in her Arabian Princess outfit and sends out her first Pokémon, and it's... Wartortle! Yes, little baby Squirtle evolved! It farts pink bubbles as it does a handstand, and back in Hoenn, Max waves in his parents to watch May's contest, while in Johto, a surprisingly smiling Drew is also watching, with Harley standing in the background.

Wartortle skips across the water inside the Stadium around the border, then spins its tail in Aquajet to create a spiral of water before landing on its tail, backflipping, then spitting up a rainbow as the camera moves lovingly up May's illegal body.

The Judges are impressed, as are the twerps backstage, although Dawn also seems to have become a little more nervous, and even Wallace speaks up in admiration of May, which doesn't do much for Dawn's confidence.

More coordinators follow, until it is Jesselina's turn, who comes out to wave happily, bursting with confidence since learning that she won her last contest on her own merits. She calls out Wobbuffet which falls flat on its face and wobbles about in confusion, but the crowd loves it, thinking it was on purpose! And for the next part of their act, Jesse..... runs full tilt directly into a glowing Wobbuffet and gets sent flying directly into the air!

James and Meowth think it is overkill, and Jesse lands on Wobbuffet's head and poses in delight while the judges.... seen entirely unimpressed.

Next out is Zoey, who sends out Finneon, a "wing fish Pokémon" called the "Beautifly of the sea".

It's ugly.

It pops out of the water and uses Silver Wind followed by Safequard to.... roll in some waves and glow green.... that's it? Next it uses Waterfall to create a water column which is swims around and up, appearing to glow at the apex as Dawn squeezes Piplup so hard that it can't breathe. The judges speak in appreciation, and Wallace stands up to declare they were given a real gift by her shitty performance.... and Dawn finally realizes she has almost killed Piplup. Brock asks if she is okay, but she insists there is no need to worry, and it's too late to question her further as Ash appears for his performance and.... LET ME TELL YA SOMETHING BROTHER! WHEN THE BUIZELSTER PERFORMS, THE WORLD STOPS ON ITS AXIS AS ALL THE LITTLE BUIZELMANIACS LET BUIZELMANIA RUN WILD. ON YOU!

Ash puts on a spectacular performance that showcases all of Buizel's abilities in the best possible light, delighting the crowd AND the judges! And Wallace too!

But not Paul, who happens to spot him on screen at a Pokémon Centre, and wonders what the hell Ash thinks he is doing.

Meanwhile Dawn is panicking again checking on her hair, and Zoey and May try to calm her down until enough is enough and Piplup loses its shit!

JESUS FUCK WOMAN GET OVER YOURSELF FOR FUCK'S SAKE! is probably an accurate translation of its little high pitched squeaks as it throws a wobbly at her, and she starts arguing back and almost breaks down into tears until it blasts Bubble Beam in her face!

Brock's been wanting to do that for a looooong time!

She stares in surprise, then slaps her face and says that she needed that and smiles, saying she's going to start with Ambipom. She meets Ash on his way back and they give each other a sad white-guy high five, then Dawn steps out and almost trips over trying to call out Ambipom before recovering. Calling the arm-ass hand-titted monkey, it spins around floating hearts using Double Hit and then Swift to blast the water and create little bursts of foam before Focus Punch blasts water up into James and Meowth's face (everyone else was smart enough to get out of the way) and apparently drenching the local crowd impresses the Judges and Wallace, and the Performance Round is over! Just a little late for James, Meowth and Mime Jr!

Standing with James and Meowth, Jesse insists that they should just stop screwing around and award the contest to her right now, and they're smart enough to agree with her despite her poor performance.

Backstage, Dawn tells the others she is concerned about the result despite feeling she did well, but May puts a hand on her shoulder (Zoey probably clenching a fist at the same time) and tells her she did fine, and then Marion declares that the judges have reached their decision! It will be Edwardian Lad, Hurricane Hair, Four Year Old Girl, Emo Chick, ZOEY, Little Businessman, DAWN, The General, MAY, Geisha, Geisha II, Mophead, ASH, Boring Girl, Redhaired Girl and Captain Star Trek!



NO JESSE!

She's horrified! How could she not make it!?! She disintegrates into dust and James moans that he hates when that happens, and Meowth says at least the wind isn't blowing.

Dawn can't believe she made it, and May tells her that she told her there was no need to worry. Everyone congratulates her, but then May reminds her not to get overconfident, and Dawn says that now she's through, she means to win! Zoey nods that she hasn't forgotten this is a competition, and Brock puts it all into words. Right now they're the best of friends (with at least one of them trying to get into Dawn's panties) but from tomorrow... they're rivals!



Who will win? The short skirt? The androgynous? The tits? Or the dullard?

Find out, next episode!

BEST QUOTES

"This time you'll tap that team again!" "You won it... on your own recognisance!" "Since you don't know what dat word means...."

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