ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
539: A Full Course Tag Battle!	544: Resutoran Nanatsuboshi! Taggu Batoru de Furukosu!	May Returns, Her Tits Don’t			May returns! The twerps try to freeload a meal	Fat and unsatisfied	It’s cool to want a free meal so long as you’re a “good guy”

Last episode the twerps meet Contest Master Wallace, Dawn got fired up to take part in contests again when she learned about The Wallace Cup, and Ash got a phone-call.... from MAY!

Now they sit on the dock of Fort Valor on the shore of Valor Lake waiting, Dawn asking Piplup if it is excited to meet "the coordinator Ash and Brock used to travel with". Beautifly flies in and lands on Ash's head and he wonders if he knows it, and then in sails the ferry, and onboard.... MAY!

Ash, Brock, Dawn AND May!?! It looks like we are set for....



Dawn is carrying shopping bags, of course, she brought presents, wooden carvings of a Teddiursa and Ursaring, and also something for Dawn, a Piplup necklace! Dawn is thankful, and tells May how excited she is to meet her at last, and then says something a little odd.... they call her the Princess of Hoenn?

Who's they? Brock? Horny old Sugar Daddy Brock?

May blushes and says to just call her May, and it turns out that she's here to compete in The Wallace Cup. Watching from afar, Team Rocket are surprised to see the "Hoenn Region Twerpette" back, but Jesse is determined that she'll trounce her old (unknowing!) rival this time, and then they all get distracted by their crippling hunger pangs.

The twerps ask after Max and May tells them about how he's taken to trying to learn to be a Breeder just like Brock, looking after his Dad's Pokémon. What they don't know is that his quest to be a Breeder will eventually drive him mad and he'll somehow travel back in time and take the name Conway and set off after the twerps and Dawn's short skirt... but that's a story for another day.

May tells them that she arrived in Sinnoh three days ago because she wanted to do something at Snowpoint City... evolve her Eevee into a Glaceon!

It seems there is an Ice Cave where an Ice Crystal can evolve Pokémon into their Ice Type Evolutions. She figured that when she returned to Johto she could surprise everyone with her new Pokémon. She now has three Johto Ribbons and is doing well, but some things haven't changed, she hasn't been able to defeat Drew or Harley who are also doing well.

But some things HAVE changed, as May shows off her ribbons to Dawn and Ash and Brock reveal that they've told May EVERYTHING about her, it's plain that something HAS changed about May.

Her boobs are gone!

Yes, those ridiculously full and round heaving breasts that caused so much trouble in Hoenn are gone, as May has either gone on a rigorous exercise program or stopped stuffing her top. Now she actually DOES look young, as young as Dawn, who looks more than a little concerned as Brock explains they told about her last two disastrous contest results, but May tells her she's had her own series of disasters recently and that's why she came to The Wallace Cup, to try and get herself back on track, so why not Dawn too?

Ash's stomach grumbles and May laughs that some things never change, and takes them to the Seven Stars Restaurant where she took the liberty of making reservations, much to the chagrin of a spying Team Rocket who are still starving. Inside, a tall waiter with a ridiculously fluffy fringe takes them towards the large doors, where a young trainer bursts out in a panic, exclaiming that he'll eat here if it's the last thing he does but now he has to go do some training. The Waiter bows and explains that the man didn't win his battle, which confuses the twerps, until he takes them through and reveals the truth - to eat at Seven Stars, you don't just make a reservation, you fight for the right to eat!



Roman owns the restaurant and Kylie is his fiancée, and they're the local crazies.... wait, they're rich, that makes them eccentric! The local eccentrics who own the finest restaurant in Fort Valor, and give free meals to any who earn the right of entry - by defeating them in a Tag Battle! A rotund older gentleman and his wife (or Mistress!) step out of the dining hall after finishing their own fine meal and May gets a whiff of the delicious food inside, which is more than can be said for Team Rocket who are observing the dining hall from outside the windows, bemoaning their lack of access to the Land of Plenty... and deciding that if they can't have it, they'll steal it!

Roman and Kylie introduce themselves to the twerps, and the twerps are divided into teams - Brock and Ash going first to be followed by Dawn and May. Brock calls out Sudowoodo and Ash sends in Pikachu, and Roman and Kylie respond with Snorlax and Munchlax! They kick off all at once, all Four Pokémon throwing down and..... Brock and Ash put down their opponents with ONE SHOT KO'S!



Roman and Kylie are horrified and Ash and Brock can't believe it, the couple were so confident and they put them down hard. Dawn and May are determined to do the same, but Ash warns them not to be overconfident, then turns down the invitation to go in and place his order, saying it's "all or nothing", which Kylie thinks is just darling.

If Ash was any smarter, he'd parlay that chivalry into lunch becoming a Dawn/May sandwich, but he isn't and he doesn't, and Brock can only ever dream.

Kylie and Roman send out a Girafarig and Drifloon, and May gushes over how cute Drifloon is. Dawn sends in Piplup and May sends in Blaziken, which leaves Piplup in awe.

"It's so big!" coos Dawn, and Brock files that use of words away for future use in his dreams.

So it's a Ghost/Psychic Combo against a Water/Fire Combo, but before the battle can begin, the doors to the dining hall burst open and smoke pours out behind the head waiter, who shouts out that all the food in the kitchen has disappeared! Ash is horrified, he was going to successfully freeload that food, but his astonishment pales in comparison to May's anger. That was going to be HER FOOD!

MAY ANGRY! MAY SMASH!

"What happened to our Princess?" moans Dawn, and they head inside where they find a huge hole in the wall, and an apologetic Head Chef who can't believe his food was stolen out from under his expert eyes. Roman drops to his knees in overly dramatic horror but May is determined to find that food, and calls out Munchlax, which is delighted to see Pikachu. Kylie calls out hers too, but its sense of smell doesn't seem to be as good as May's Munchlax, or maybe too refined. Munchlax leads them out into the forest following the scent to its source, and what is that source?

Do you really have to ask?

Team Rocket are delightedly chowing down on their stolen food, having apparently also stolen a table, chairs and cutlery set while they were at it. They also grabbed an icebox and have the leftover food inside, but when the twerps show up, a horrified Team Rocket gobble up their food as fast as possible in front of the astonished twerps, stuffing themselves to bloating, though Jesse does try to retain a bit of ladylike charm when all is said and done.

May is furious at them for never learning anything, but Team Rocket lay down an Ice Burn of their own, referring to May as an "Obsolete Twerp" whose "time limit has passed", before performing their motto

"Is that the sound of an obsolete twerpette I hear?"
"Your expiration date's passed, my dear"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"In yer ear!" screams Meowth.
"Bringing twerp-laden chaos at a breakneck pace!"
"Dashing twerp-tinged hope and putting fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, our work is complete."
"Jesse!"
"And it's James!"
"Meowth, now dat's a name!"
"Putting the geeky do-gooders in their place."
"We're Team Rocket!"
"And we're in yer face!"

.....which impresses May! Maybe they really HAVE changed? Dawn says now isn't the time to be impressed, and then Brock spots the Ice Box and they realise not all the food is lost yet. Ash and Brock prepare to fight Team Rocket, but Dawn and May want their shot, sending out Glaceon and Buneary which make short work of Team Rocket, locking them into a giant Ice Ball and sending it blasting off again, though Meowth and James are happy at least, their bellies are still full!

Buneary rushes over to Pikachu to swoon and May figures out that it likes Pikachu, and Brock and Ash note that May and Dawn are a pretty good team. They return the fridge to Seven Stars, where Roman and Kylie tell them they don't need to battle to earn their meal, and Dawn and May (who COULD have been bitter rivals all things considered, since one is "that bitch who was better at everything and had tits" and the other is "that bitch in the slutty skirt who replaced me") grab each other’s hands and leap up and down in delight, Piplup strategically placed to prevent a panty shot, much to the chagrin of a good 40% of the fanbase.

Let's be honest here, probably a good 80% of the fanbase.

Ash is happy after waiting so long for his meal, but he'll have to wait just a little longer as all food is prepared fresh. In the meantime, May and Dawn decide to have their interrupted battle against Roman and Kylie, using the same Pokémon as before.

This time there is no one shot finish, as Blaziken and Piplup find themselves on the backfoot against Girafarig and Drifloon. But when Piplup seems trapped in Drifloon's clutches, it uses Whirlwind to catch both Drifloon and Girafarig to lift them into the air. May tells Dawn to use Bubblebeam again, and Blaziken uses Firespin in conjunction to..... holy fucking overkill!

Needless to say, Girafarig and Drifloon are knocked out cold, and Dawn and May high-five while Blaziken picks up Piplup on its arm, and the waiter steps out to reveal that dinner is ready.

Roman must be REALLY rich, because goddamn is he a useless battler.

That night, the twerps stand on the balcony of the Pokémon Centre looking down on Lake Valor and the Arena where the Wallace Cup will take place. May asks if Ash still has his Contest Ribbon half from Terracotta Town and he does, and they both hold each other's halves up which must do wonders for Dawn's paranoia. May tells her she keeps it as a good luck charm, and Dawn takes out the ribbon her Mother gave her before she started her journey and says that all ribbons are filled with memories. She reminds Ash he should take part in the Contest too, and May is surprised to learn that not only does he intend to take part, but that he was told to by Wallace himself!



Oh my, halves of lucky ribbons and untold adventures shared between different girls, if only Ash knew how close he is to Brock's dream.... or at least one hell of a catfight!

BEST QUOTES

"Land of plenty...." "I want an eating visa!" "It's so big!"

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