ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
528: Sleight of Sand!	533: Pachirisu wa Kabarudon no Kuchi no Naka!?	Bob And Cassidy Are Back!			The twerps try to reunite two hippos, and Team Rocket clashes with Team Rocket!	Too many Team Rockets!	Misunderstood name jokes NEVER get old.

Today's episode begins with Pachirisu.... hiding inside a hippo! And robots! Robot Pokémon! And a sand trap that the twerps fall into? What the hell, we've been dealt an odd deck of cards here, someone must be using....



The sun is shining down on the twerps as they move across ground growing rapidly browner. The grass fades into a desert spreading out quite a distance ahead of them, a kind of reverse oasis surrounded by greenery, trees, forest, mountains etc. The twerps are excited at the prospect of trudging through burning sands and relentless heat as the moisture is sucked from their bodies, and they even call out their Pokémon to enjoy the torture. But as the Pokémon flail and toss about in the sand (all except Croagunk and Buizel, which stare disdainfully around at the foolishness), a sudden rumbling noise catches everyone's attention, and then the ground begins to shake. From beneath Pachirisu a behemoth erupts from the sand, snorting sand out of its nose in a burst, red eyes glaring about it, Pachirisu caught up on its massive back.



It's a Hippowdon!

The Pokédex classifies it as The Heavyweight Pokémon and tells them that its mouth is over six feet in diameter. It opens its massive mouth as if to prove it.... and Pachirisu tucks its head over the top lip for a look, falls in and..... Hippowdon swallows it and burrows back down into the sand!

Pachirisu got eaten!

The horrified twerps try to burrow into the sand, but Hippowdon is already emerging from the sand further down the way. They call back most of the Pokémon and then chase after the behemoth, which doesn't seem to have ever noticed them. Luckily, Pachirisu emerges from a hole on its giant back after apparently travelling down it's throat (anatomy doesn't work that way!) but can't quite pull all the way out, and Hippowdon suddenly bursts back down under the ground.

Meanwhile, Team Rocket is attempting to dig a hole down into the sand to prepare a pitfall for the twerps who they know will inevitably come their way. But the loose sand keeps rolling back in, leaving them frustrated at a trap trying to trap down. Suddenly the sand beneath them is snorted up as Hippowdon tears free, blasting hot sand against their asses (oh like you wouldn't) and sending them flying through the air and crashing into the ground, heads down and bums up.

Bless 'em!

They hear the twerps and look up to see them charging at Hippowdon, Dawn ordering Pachirisu to use Discharge.... but the move does nothing! So Pikachu tries Thunderbolt and.... it does nothing! Nothing except get Hippowdon's baleful attention. It glares red-eyed at them, then burrows into the ground again and they give chase, leaving behind a delighted Team Rocket - that Pokémon is seemingly immune to Pikachu's attacks, so if they catch it... they can catch Pikachu! Also Jesse delights in it being "a whopper" and throws her arms wide for the benefit of the horsey set, who know just what she's talking about. Meowth seems to as well, noting that Hippowdon is "strong, too", and they set on a plan - capture a Pokémon tougher than Pikachu in order to capture Pikachu!

You can see the inherent flaw I'm sure, Gentle Dodgers.

Meanwhile, the twerps have lost Hippowdon amongst the sand, but then a small shift of the sand gets their attention and they turn to see.... a tiny behemoth!

It's a Hippopotas, and the fat nosed little hippo stumbles up to Pikachu wagging its tail. It presses up happily against the twerps' legs, and they wonder if it could possibly by the one they found trapped up on a cliff not so long ago. Has it gotten lost again? Just then, Hippowdon bursts out of the sand a little way off, glaring red-eyed and irritably in their direction, and the little Hippopotas waddles over to call out to it. Hippowdon doesn't want to hear it though, roaring at them all until Pachirisu suddenly pops up inside one nostril....

Are these things hollow inside?

Hippowdon seems to notice Pachirisu for the first time, and snorts roughly with one nostril in an attempt to pop it free. It doesn't work, so it burrows down into the sand once more, and the twerps are despondent, but not as much as Hippopotas, which whines sadly. Brock and Ash notice and figure it is looking for Hippowdon, and Ash promises to help, picking it up and putting on the back of his neck.

Up in a bare tree, Team Rocket are looking for Hippowdon through binoculars when it bursts out of the sand. James fires a net from a bazooka which drapes down over Hippowdon, and they rush up to it to drag it away with them... only to discover the shocking revelation that the massive fucking hippo-style Pokémon is pretty damn heavy. And then the twerps show up!

Team Rocket kick straight into motto mode, then pull up short, Jesse saying they're overbooked so they'll save that treat for later. Dawn makes the incredibly stupid mistake of letting them know that Pachirisu is inside of Hippowdon, which of course just sweetens the deal for them, but then suddenly from beneath the sand appears an ever LARGER bulk, a massive robotic Rhydon with a big red R on the side! Jesse, James and Meowth stumble over before the monstrous mech, and the twerps ask them if it belongs to them. Not them, Team Rocket insist, they're broke! So if not them, then who?



BARRY AND CASSIDY!

Man, Billy's totally rocking the gratuitous ass shot this week too!

"A shrieking whine, a blast from the past!"
"Spinning like a gyro-ball and moving fast!"
"To the moon!"
"And beyond!"
"What a blast!" they shout together.
"Administering justice with lightning speed!"
"Bashing the bad guys, should we feel the need!"
"So here's a newsflash from across the wire."
"The real Team Rocket is now on fire."
"Cassidy!"
"And it's Butch!"
"Shuck-uckle!" proclaims a Shuckle happily. Watch out, Jesse's belly button!
"Teaching the losers a thing or two!"
"The true Team Rocket...."
"Us, not you!" they finish.

James and Brock are shocked to see Bif again, who snaps angrily that his name is Butch, telling James he is as bad as his twerps. Cassidy demands to know what Jesse is doing there, who snaps back that Cassidy is stealing her lines, what is SHE doing here? Cassidy tells her to ask Professor Bomba, who immediately calls up to scream at her that his name is Namba!

They're just rolling out all the usual jokes in record time to make up for lost time!

It seems that Namba wants to study the sand expelled by Hippowdon (currently rolling angrily around on its back), which is kind of gross if you think about it. Jesse demands that Cassidy tell Professor Fanboy.... and Cassidy's phone rings, and she answers and tosses it to Jesse, telling her it's for her. It's Namba, who snaps angrily that his name is STILL Namba before hanging up.

Jesse snaps that the Sinnoh Region belongs to them, but Cassidy reveals that Giovanni himself told her that her and Bobby are Team Rocket's Sinnoh League Representatives, horrifying Jesse and James. Jesse wants to know where they got the "bucket of bolts" from, and Barstow tells them that it was gifted to them by Professor Kimba.... and you can guess what happens next.

James throws a tantrum over "a brat like Bill" getting a free mech when they have to build their own, and as Brasky snaps over the mis-pronunciation of his name again, Ash has his Pokémon cut Hippowdon free and it burrows down into the sand again. Cassidy tells "Hootch" to get inside the robotic Rhydon, and he complains that this one doesn't even rhyme before doing as he is told.

The robo-Rhydon heads off after Hippowdon and the twerps, their Pokémon and Hippopotas. Jesse grumbles to see the twerps have teamed up again with that "hokey hyapatia", and Meowth sighs about her melons (watch the episode for yourself, non-believers!).

A short time later, the twerps hear Hippowdon’s call and give chase, while the behemoth itself looks too surly to be bothered with running away anymore and is just stomping along grumpily. Pachirisu pops its head out of a hole in its side and spots the Robo-Rhydon pursuing, firing a massive clamp at Hippowdon which hears Pachirisu's calls and turns in time to see Pikachu's Thunderbolt stop the clamp in mid-flight.

The twerps yell at Bruce and Cassidy that they're not getting Hippowdon, while Pachirisu calls out to Dawn who is standing RIGHT NEXT TO IT AND COULD USE HER POKEBALL TO RECALL IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW! Pikachu thunderbolts the Robo-Rhydon but it makes no impact, so the twerps and Hippowdon have to cheese it, the latter given directions by the former through Hippopotas. But as they run, the sand beneath them gives way to create a massive hole that everyone (Balki and Cassidy included) fall down.... and Team Rocket fly overhead in their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, now happy to take the time to perform their motto.

"Listen, is that a voice I hear?"
"Listen up, it comes courtesy of you know who!" says Jesse, answering Ash's question of where the hole came from.
"Not like we have anything better to do!"
"On the wind!"
"The stars!"
"BOOGAH-BOO!" cries Meowth, which sounds more like something Wobbuffet would say.
"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace."
"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place."
"A duo of Jesses sounds twice as sweet," two Jesses tell us!
"Hey I've got it too!" echoes two James,"Isn't that neat!"
"Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Meowth, now dat's a name!"
"Putting the do-gooders in their place."
"We're Team Rocket!"
"In your face!" they finish together.



They don't explain HOW they were able to suddenly dig any hole at all, let alone one so big. Instead they send a massive suction cup down that pops onto Hippowdon’s back and pulls it out of the sand, the twerps grabbing hold and being lifted out as well, all clinging on to an astonished looking hippo. But Burt and Cassidy aren't going to let them get away with this so easily, firing the horn off of their Robo-Rhydon which tears open the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon (which bugs out its eyes!) and sends them blasting off again.... while the twerps and Hippowdon are tumbled around violently through the air, the rope snapping beneath them.

They all crash into the sand face first (except for Dawn, who lands butt first to avoid what would otherwise be an impossible to prevent panty-shot) and tear loose in time to get knocked out of the way by the Robo-Rhydon. It grabs up Hippowdon with the massive clamp and.... gets smashed over by a Mecha-Slowbro, causing Cassidy to scream,"IT'S HUGE AND PINK!"

Indeed!

The mouth of the Mecha-bro opens to reveal... Team Rocket! Jesse, James and Meowth have apparently landed, built a robot and returned all in the space of several seconds! That's efficiency!

Jesse and Cassidy decide to take out their sexual frustrations on each other, smashing at each other with the robots - Mecha-Bro actually attempting to rape Robo-Rhydon with a massive metal... tail.



You've got to love this crazy fucking show.

Cassidy tries to fuck the Mecha-Bro's belly, and then the robots revert to slap-fighting as Jesse and Cassidy scream at each other. The twerps and Hippowdon try to run, but Cassidy spots them going and slams Mecha-Bro away, which cause Jesse to fire the tail at Robo-Rhydon like a giant penis missile, smashing into the Robo-Rhydon and exploding, smoke clearing to reveal... not a scratch on it! Cassidy laughs at them and their "paltry pathetic pink pansy"....

Is she talking about James?

.... and then, talking about scratching an itch, fires the horn from the Rhydon, successfully penetrating Jesse('s robot) just like she's always wanted to. The hard phallic shape pushes as deep inside of Jesse's pink target as it can (like you wouldn't!) and it explodes, blasting off Team Rocket... and Hippowdon and the twerps as well!



Action Hero Style!

Hippowdon crashes down and coughs out Pachirisu, which is reunited with Dawn who hugs it despite probably being covered in Hippo mucus. The Robo-Rhydon rolls up behind the battered Hippowdon and Cassidy demands it give up.... and the pissed off Hippowdon has had enough! It blasts them with Hyperbeam, shattering the Robo-Rhydon and causing it to fall apart around Bugsy and Cassidy. Cassidy is furious, calling out Granbull followed by Brody's Shuckle, and Ash tries to yell out instructions to Hippowdon.... and Team Rocket shows up!

They're gotten REALLY determined recently!

Jesse sends in Seviper which starts dealing to both Pokémon while James makes a fool of himself with Carnivine, and Hippowdon just gazes on with irritated indifference. Shuckle and Carnivine fight it out, a shot accidentally hitting Hippowdon, so Pikachu and Piplup get involved as well fighting both teams Pokémon before Hippowdon uses Double Edge, stampeding at them in the slowest "charge" of all time..... and then Hippopotas burps in all of Team Rocket and their Pokémon’s faces, and uses Sandstorm to wrap them all up together before Hippowdon blasts both sleeping teams off.... for the last time!

Hippowdon finally accepts Hippopotas (please God tell me this isn't a mating ritual) and flips it up onto its head, the twerps all delighted. They tell it how great this is and then just.... stand there, Hippowdon just glaring at them with a "well?" expression on its face, eyes half-lidded and red, not impressed with the twerps at all. They just stand there and stare, and for all we know, they stayed there until Hippowdon finally got bored and burrowed back down into the sand.



But as the sun sets, we find we're not done with Team Rocket just yet! Jesse, James and Meowth dangle over the branches of a bare tree, Jesse promising that next time they met, she'll make Cassidy pay. Off elsewhere in the desert Cassidy tears herself out of the sand and complains that next time they meet, she'll make Jesse pay! Jesse and her smooth nude body that taunted her in the locker rooms at Team Rocket Academy, Jesse and her long hair that smells like berries and the forest and her milk-white pale skin and high, firm breasts and immaculately sculpted buttocks! She'll pay! Oh she'll pay all night long till the sweat from their bod..... ahem, well, yes. Yes.

She snaps at Bongo to listen to her, fucking up his name in the process so that he snaps angrily at her that it's Butch! Butch! And then her phone rings, and she checks the ID and comments that it is Professor Oompa calling.

You don't need to be a genius to know how the episode ends, Gentle Dodgers.

BEST QUOTES

"Is that yours?" "Nah, we're broke." "Hootch! After them!" "Come on! That doesn't even rhyme!" "IT'S HUGE AND PINK!" "More than I can say for that paltry pathetic pink pansy!" "We're blasting off, nighty night!" "Those dummies put up with this every week?"

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