ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
521: Nosing 'Round the Mountain!	526: Dainozu! Atsuki Tamashi!	BUUUURRRNNIIING SPIIIIRIIIITTUUUUU!!!!			The twerps and new buddy Alan try to rescue his Probopass from Team Rocket.	Brainwashing seems redundant when Jesse's in a swimsuit.	Girls don't like it when you squirt unexpectedly on their backs

Today's episode begins with Buizel spurting water from its mouth from inside a river onto Meowth's back, then onto a bikini wearing Jesse's! Next we see Wobbuffet and Buizel struggling over a control box, Ash getting blasted and Meowth with a bazooka!

Wait wait, can we go back to Jesse getting spurted onto her back?

No? Ahhh well, we'll just have to wait and see it happen when we're....



The episode proper starts with Ash and Turtwig facing off against a tough young trainer called Alan and his Nosepass whom they've encountered while journeying through the mountains. Alan tells Nosepass to show some BUUUUUURRRRNNIIIIING SPIIIIIIRIIIITTUUUUUUUU and orders a Zap Cannon (a snot rocket) to be blasted at Turtwig. It dodges it, so Alan figures if he does exactly the same thing again, he'll have Ash. But Ash has the patented RUN AND YELL technique, and after exchanging excited screams at each other, Turtwig charges past Nosepass to get clear of the Zap Cannons. Alan yells at Nosepass to chase Turtwig, and it tries Zap Cannon again and again in an effort to hit Turtwig, finally sending it flying through the air to land on a rock. Ash yells at Turtwig to jump again but Alan screams at them to stop, saying that they HAVE to keep battling where they are. Dawn and Brock are taken aback, after all the whole point of a Pokémon Battle is to be able to adapt to changing situations, but Alan explains that they're currently within the boundaries of Mount Coronet, which for some reason is the only place that the bizarre Nosepass can evolve into Probopass, which Alan wishes to take into the Sinnoh League.

Brock surmises that there must be something about the geo-magnetic field of the mountain, while Ash agrees that they'll continue their battle within the confines of the mountain. They kick things off again with a Rock Slide and duelling tackles, Ash and Alan getting more and more fired up (literally, the background is flaming behind them) as Turtwig and Nosepass smash into each other again and again with Tackle until finally, Nosepass evolves into....



Wha..... what the fuck is that thing?

Dawn checks it out with Dextina, and it insists that this is Probopass, but that can't be true because what the fuck? What the fuck is that thing? It's..... what is.... it can't.... no.... NO...... NO!

Ash congratulates Alan who thanks them for their help, but then Probopass' ugliness is so intense that Alan's eyes catch on fire. Ash reminds him that the battle isn't over yet, and an excited Alan is all for Probopass’ first battle.... until a silly magnetic beanie lands on Probopass’ head, making it look very silly.... well, just as silly.... well, not at all different or less silly than it already was, really.

A zap of energy hits the top of the beanie and Probopass’ massive brow falls down over its eyes, and the bizarre little "Mini-Noses" on its side rip loose and fly into the air.

Okay, seriously, this thing is the most fucked up Pokémon in history.

The noses crash into the ground as the truly bizarre monstrosity turns its stone visage onto the twerps. Alan demands to know what is going on, and the answer, of course..... is Team Rocket........'s crotches.



Who are we to argue!

"You're not the only one with spirits that burn!"
"Your bandaged nose is out of joint, let someone else have a turn!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"Live 'n' loin!"
"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace."
"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, our work is complete."
"It's Jesse!"
"And it's James!"
"Meowth, dat's a name!"
"Putting spirited do-gooders in their place."
"We're Team Rocket!"
"In yer face!"
"WOBB-BUFFET!"
"Mime Mime, mime-mime!"

Jesse says that Probopass is a member of Team Rocket now but Alan yells that he and Probopass are friends and nothing can change that.

It turns out the bizarre beanie on its head CAN change that, however.

It blasts Mini-Noses at Alan who believes it won't attack him because they're friends, and this time Ash is the smart one, knocking Alan down before he can be ripped limb from limb. Team Rocket reveal they spent their food budget for a year on the mind manipulation device, and have Probopass tear up the ground underneath the twerps' feet before hauling it up into the air beneath their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon and flying away, leaving the twerps behind safe, but Alan Probopass-less.

He slumps down, miserable, saying he and Nosepass have always been together, remembering their first victory, getting lost in the forest and training on Mount Coronet. And then finally, after all their work, after Nosepass finally evolved..... Probopass gets kidnapped!

The twerps tell him not to give up and lose his BUURRRNNNINNNNG SPIRITU! and he agrees, Ash saying that once they get Probopass, they can finish their battle!

Jesus Ash, give it a rest! Battlings not the only thing in the world, there are other important things too! Things like.... uhh.... like.... like.....



TITS!

As James sits working on stacks of the Probopass Mind Control Beanies (Mount Coronet attracts lots of Nosepass trainers), Jesse lounges in her bikini (bless her) dreaming of the Probopass Army they will control, an entire empire of the bizarre stone-faced monstrosities under the Team Rocket banner.

James complains that he could use an extra hand as Wobbuffet hands him more beanies to add antennas to, while Meowth offers compliments and Jesse just enjoys lazing around, insisting that it's tough enough being a star!

Meanwhile the twerps are following Brock's compass to find Probopass, though what they find is Team Rocket on the other side of a river, Jesse lying flat on her stomach with her legs slightly spread, which leads to a spurting of liquid onto her back!

GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!

Ash has Buizel slip into the water and spit onto Meowth's back, then onto Jesse's, causing her to blame Meowth for blasting onto her back. James insists it wasn't him (as if they'd ever suspect him) but then they spot Buizel trying to grab the remote control for Probopass. Jesse calls out Dustox....

Where did she get the Pokéball from!?!

.... while Wobbuffet tries to get the remote control off of Buizel. As they struggle, a zap of energy from the control hits Probopass's beanie, and it flinches in surprise. This sets off Alan, who leaps into the water to get to it, while Ash calls out Staravia to help Buizel, the remote control getting knocked into the air. It flies up high, and the camera tries to move back down onto Alan climbing out of the pool but gets distracted by Jesse's crotch. He leaps up onto Probopass and tries to tear the beanie off, only to get involved in a tussle with James.

Ash leaps through the air for the remote but gets blown into the river by Dustox, and the remote bounces off of James' face then Alan's. It lands on Probopass’ antenna and causes it to start shaking and zapping out electrical discharges, blowing up the assembled antennas. Wobbuffet is sent flying forward and crashes into Team Rocket, while the now out of control Probopass unleashes a blast of Zap Cannon on Team Rocket, sending them blasting off, again!

But if you think things seem to have sorted themselves out, think again. The antenna is still on Probopass' head and it’s gone off of its gourd, sending Mini-Noses blasting through the air. Brock suggests blasting 80,000 volts of electricity into its brain might help, so Pikachu hits it with Thunderbolt, and for a moment its heavy brow lifts and it seems to recognise Alan. But then the brow lowers again and it blasts at Ash who dives aside in true Action-Hero Ash fashion, actually side-flipping slowly through the air to escape when he could have just ducked is head. It takes off into the forest and Alan chases after, leaping onto its back and insisting that Pikachu keep on Thunderbolting them. Dawn calls out Pachirisu to assist, and Alan realises that there is a lake ahead and shouts out that he has an idea!

"An idea?" Ash asks, confused as to what that might be.

Alan says that when he gives the signal he wants to be hit with a combination of Thunderbolt and Watergun (with Pachirisu's Discharge thrown in for good measure).

How will they know it is working though?

Quite simple, Alan will say something like,"ARGJHGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"



There we go!

Probopass and Alan fall deep into the lake, Alan gripping onto the antenna as they hit bottom and tearing it free, then shouting out to Probopass which still has its helm lowered down over its eyes. Ash sends in Buizel to find out what is going on, but as they wait.... Team Rocket returns! Fully clothed!

BOOOO!

Pikachu tries a Thunderbolt, but unfortunately for them Meowth just remembered that he can react faster than the speed of light! He pulls out a bazooka and blasts a net that absorbs the electricity and captures the twerps, Pikachu and Pachirisu inside, blasting them instead.

Meanwhile, Alan is.... headbutting Probopass?

Whatever, it seems to do the trick as Probopass lifts its heavy brow and spots Alan, seeing he is running out of oxygen and lifting him towards the surface just as Buizel arrives.

LET ME TELL YA SOMETHING, BROTHER! THE BUIZELSTER IS NEVER LATE FOR HIS RUN-INS, THESE JOBBERS JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO HIT THEIR CUE, DUDE!

As the twerps demand to be let free, James removes a new antenna, one modified apparently - for Probopass or Pikachu? Pikachu it seems, as their reaction is less than pleased when they see Probopass emerge from the water filled with BURRRRNNINNNNGG SPIRRRITTUUUUU!



After making hilariously shocked and dismayed faces, Team Rocket recover and prepare to fight back. Jesse sends out Seviper and James sends out Carnivine (which bites down on his head with delight) as Buizel uses Sonic Boom to free the twerps from the net. Seviper and Carnivine leap in at Probopass which..... unleashes the fucking fury with Magnet Bomb!

James and Jesse tell Carnivine and Seviper to get back up, but Pikachu charges in with Volt Tackle and sends them crashing back into Team Rocket, and then a VERY windswept Dawn has Pachirisu use Discharge, before Probopass finishes things off with Zap Cannon, and Team Rocket is sent blasting off again! AGAIN!

Ash and Alan do the "arm-wrestle/handshake" thing in a pathetic imitation of Carl Weathers and Arnold Schwarzenegger, then go right back to where they started with a return to their battle between Turtwig and Probopass. Each of them screams out that they are filled with BURRRRNNNINNNG SPIRRRRITTUUUUU while Pikachu and Pachirisu just stand staring up under Dawn's skirt.



You might too, Gentle Dodgers, but that's a whole other way to get burnt.

BEST QUOTES

"I won't be able to eat for a year!" "That should help your fat head!"

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