ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
696: The Club Battle Finale: A Heroes Outcome!	701: Kessen Don Batoru! Satoshi Tai Airisu!	Friendly Final			: The Nimbasa Battle Tournament comes to a surprising end	Up to SOMETHING, but what?	Unless you're Muhammed Ali, getting hit hard by your opponent is not a viable fight strategy

Last episode saw Ash facing off against Dino in the first of two Semi-Final matches in the Nimbasa Battle Tournament (which SHOULD be called The Don Battle). Who was Dino? Would he be the stranger never seen before who defeats Ash as in previous big tournaments? Or would he be the guy who worked his ass off all his life for this ONE tournament only to have Ash show up and kick his ass in a tournament Ash himself had only just heard off? Now we're going to find out, as Ash sends in his Palpitoad against Dino's Darumaka. It will be a battle for the ages, as two worthy opponents face off an....

Oh wait, never mind, we just saw Ash defeat Darumaka with only one (seen) move and we don't even get to see Dino or hear his reaction, he's as much a non-entity as Antonio! Ahahahaha! What a loser! Ash is through to the final and it's only twerps left in the Don Battle - Luke vs. Iris! Going for...



Ash, Cilan and Stephan watch while Luke worries if Bianca is filming his battle like he asked. Bianca? Oh lord, you can guess where this is going... and yep! She's sitting with the camera in hand, gleefully filming an irritated looking Zorua while Luke yells at her from the battlefield to film him! Iris rather smugly dismisses his worries about the filming as childish, but he's making a fucking documentary here! The whole narrative hinges on this battle and some statuesque blond chipmunk is filming his baby fox's ass!

The battle must begin, however, and so it does, with a dramatic shot of some kind of birds flying against the backdrop of the sun as the ref calls a start to the action. Luke brings out Golett and Iris sends in.... Axew! Oh my! She tells it to try its best as this is its first tournament battle. It happily slaps its head in preparation, then launches the first attack with Scratch and..... Golett brushes off its chin without concern, completely unaffected. Iris is horrified, what happened!?! "Nothing happened!" declares Cilan happily, reminding the others that Scratch is a Normal move and would have no effect against Golett. Georgia rants that Iris will never be a Dragon Master if she doesn't know such basic stuff (where is Trip when you need him!) and Ash reminds HER that the battle is just starting (but doesn't remind her that Iris made it to the Semi-Final unlike Georgia herself!).

Luke sends in Golett with Mega Punch and sends Axew flying, but it gets stoically back up and powers up a Dragon Rage.... but Golett uses Double Team to avoid the attack, before kicking off what looks like a Triple Gyro Ball. As Iris tries to figure out which is real, the balls slip and merge amongst themselves to confuse matters further, and ram straight into Axew. Once again though, the surprisingly tough little baby Dragon proves able to take it. Iris goes back to the Dragon Rage well (it's really all she has), but Golett recombines into one and counters with Shadow Ball, the two moves clashing and kicking up a lot of smoke. Luke wants to finish this now though, and orders another Gyro Ball (this time only one Golett) and Axew.... runs away! By Iris' order, it waddles about as Gyro Ball tries to catch up, even slower than the tiny little baby. It gets progressively more tired as the ball slowly rolls after it; neither of them built for speed but Golett the more imposing. Axew stumbles over and looks back fearfully at the oncoming destruction, and Iris has absolutely no answer to offer. She cringes in fear at what is about to happen.... and then Axew goes apeshit hardcore!

Golett bounces off of the now glowing red Axew, which follows up by PUNCHING GOLETT IN THE FACE! Is it Scratch or just straight up fisticuffs, son? All that is apparent is that Golett is getting rocked by killer blows before being uppercutted into the air and crashing to the ground. Ash is shocked, what was that? Georgia gives the answer rather than Cilan, it's Outrage. Iris is delighted that Axew learned the move, and Georgia looks worried, noting that the effects don't stop. Axew pounds seven shades of shit out of Golett and knocks it the fuck out, and via absolutely NO skill of her own, Iris is now in the Final of the Nimbasa Battle Tournament.

And that means Iris can no longer duck him - she MUST finally face Ash in a battle!

Iris picks up a panting, still glowing Axew in delight. She tells him how happy she is that he learned Outrage, but Axew keeps swinging about wildly in her arms, struggling to pull free before Outrage finally passes and he passes out from exhaustion in her arms. She remembers that Outrage can cause Confusion for the Pokémon using it, while Georgia walks away from an excited Ash as he talks to Cilan, wondering to herself what kind of fiasco of a battle Iris will pull out for the Final (which Iris is in and Georgia is not).

Speaking of fiascos.... well Luke isn't best pleased to discover the ONLY footage that Bianca filmed is a few seconds of Zorua's ass. He's enraged, demanding an answer, and she rather cattily replies that he did ask her to film, as if this excuses her complete failure. The normally calm Luke is not putting up with it though, ranting at her that he needed his battle filmed. But she can't be touched emotionally at the moment since she finally has what she always wanted, she's holding Zorua! She tells him that it's over now so there is no point in getting carried away, and then declares she has a present... for Zorua! And more to come!



Zorua is.... not best pleased.

Bianca begs Zorua to become her Pokémon, offering her the sweetener of MORE home-made clothes to wear! Luke snaps at her that he isn't going to trade Zorua no matter what, besides which she IS the lead actress in his next movie. Bianca ignores him for the most part to gush over Zorua, before rushing over to Luke to admonish him to be more flexible. He demands to know what part of "NO!" she doesn't understand (the part where she doesn't get to cuddle a little fox!), then 180s to delight as he decides to go and interview Iris and Ash as the finalists in the battle.

At a table in their room, Iris is gushing over Axew's victory (and it WAS entirely Axew's victory, Iris really played no part in it). Ash and Pikachu add in the compliments, and Iris tells Axew to work hard and she will too. Cilan arrives with a specially prepared meal, including stuff for the Pokémon, and they all settle down to eat with Burgundy shows up. Cilan seems surprised (after all, she's long since been knocked out of the contest!) but offers her a place at the table, but she smugly turns him down. She asks if he will accept her challenge. What challenge? She wants a connoisseur battle at the same time as the Final! He looks up at her with a wonderful "what the FUCK is this bitch's problem?" look on his face, and tells her he kinda wanted to sit back and actually savour the battle between Ash and Iris in a more relaxed way. She declares that this means he is scared to face off with her, and he laughs at her pathetically transparent ploy to provoke him... until he notices Luke filming from the doorway. Suddenly his "Film Connoisseur" personality takes over and he declares he must accept if the camera is rolling, so yes he WILL face Burgundy tomorrow! She seems taken aback by his sudden change in attitude, but then Stephan leaps in (and looks HUGE!) to happily declare he will be the ref. Ash - who has absolutely NO IDEA what is going on - happily announces that he has no idea what is going on, but he's getting psyched!

Meanwhile... TEAM ROCKET! Yes they're still alive and it seems they're finally ready to kick into action the big plan they mentioned at the start of the Don Battle storyarc. Looking over a map, they mark out several important locations - the music hall, the subway station and the drawbridge. Meowth tells them they must take no chances and they should add one last little touch. Jesse and James don't know what that is, but he assures them to leave it all to him, as the camera pulls away to reveal they're making their plans in the giant ferris wheel.

Doesn't that make their map fall all over the place?

The next day, it's Final Time! Ash will finally get to pound Iris like he's wanted to from the first moment he saw her. She's teased him and given him all kinds of mixed signals about wanting it only to pull away at the last second and leave him frustrated, but this time there is no stopping it - he can grab his balls and start giving it to her with everything he's got!

Burgundy tells Cilan their Connoisseur battle will be just as heated as this Final Battle. But he tells her that they shouldn't make it TOO heated, as Connoisseurs they can't let emotions take over. Stephan declares that Cilan has the early advantage with those wise words, and Burgundy furiously snaps at him to "ferme la bouche!" which is rather rude, really!

Luke sets up his tripod and gets ready to make his film, while Ash and Iris are introduced to the crowd (I wonder if Dino is sitting in a bar drinking right now?), only for Bianca to show up and grab up Zorua, which rushes free. Bianca chases it, zooming past the camera and raising Luke's ire again as he turns the camera to her as she scoops up a grumpy Zorua, yelling at her that he's TRYING to make a film here! She pouts that she's only trying to help (HOW!?!) as Zorua appears resigned to be in her arms for now at least.

The battle begins with both Ash and Iris promising not to hold back, and finally Pikachu gets to go in and battle... against Excadrill! Oh snap! Georgia watches from the sidelines and ponders why Iris couldn't use Axew. Don George and THE SCOOP give the 411 on that, Excadrill has the Type Advantage and is basically safe from most of Pikachu's electric attacks - if you discount the notion that Pikachu is level 47 kajillion. Don George warns that Ash isn't going to let up or be put off by a mere thing like type disadvantage. Meanwhile, Luke is bemoaning the rather boring and static camera angle he has to film from - he wants to get a low-angle shot but he can't get close enough to do it. Bianca asks why not and he reminds her that security rules say they can't get closer than the barricade, and she smugly notes that he'll never be a REAL filmmaker if he gives up so easily. His non-existent professionalism called into question (his first film was non-union unpaid labour!), he rises to the bait and insists that they're going to get closer. He, Golett and Zorua head off, followed by an excited Bianca who goes wherever Zorua goes. Stephan gets excited too, crying out that they should start the Connoisseur battle too - and Cilan and Burgundy are happy to acquiesce!



Unaware of all this, Ash is sending in Pikachu with... a Thunderbolt! He thinks he can win it with one move, but Iris sighs and tells Ash that he KNEW this wouldn't affect Excadrill. Ash admits that he did know this, but Thunderbolt is a sign that he and his buddy are ready to kick things into gear. Iris says that her first move will be one that works, and sends in Excadrill with Drill Run, and Ash has Pikachu counter with Quick Attack. They zip by each other, come to a stop and then Excadrill does something that almost no other Pokémon has ever done.... it doesn't just stand and stare at its opponent, it rushes back over to where Pikachu is just standing and... grabs it up by the tail! How embarrassing!

Ash yells at Pikachu to get away but all it can do is dangle until Iris orders a Metal Claw. Excadrill flings Pikachu threw the air, chases afterwards and smacks Pikachu hard... but Pikachu recovers in midair and lands safely. On the sidelines, Cilan and Burgundy offer flowery descriptions of what is going on for Stephan to judge, while elsewhere Luke, Bianca, Golett and Zorua are hunkered down inside the walls of the Battlefield to film from a low angle - Bianca actually playing an active part and holding the boom mic.

Pikachu uses Iron Tail against Excadrill's Metal Claw... but Pikachu gets the better of it and knocks Excadrill down. It gets back up though, and they fire off a Focus Blast and Electro-Ball that crash together in the middle of the field. Burgundy and Cilan offer their versions of commentary, and while Burgundy's is good, Cilan blows her out of the water and even she has to admit it. She sweatdrops and thinks in a panic to herself that his word choice is beyond reproach... and he seems to read her thoughts, kindly offering to her that they put their "battle" aside for now so they can enjoy the ACTUAL fight going on between Ash and Iris. She agrees nervously if that is what HE wants, and he thanks her in French as yet another offering of the olive branch.

Excadrill uses Dig to get under Pikachu, but Ash uses some of his old tricks, getting Pikachu to keep spinning. This old chestnut from Sinnoh catches Excadrill and Iris by surprise and allows them to hit an Iron Tail. But Ash is worried that Pikachu is about the hit the wall, while Iris is worried that Excadrill doesn't have much left. They both tell their Pokémon to finish things with this move, and it's Drill Run vs. Iron Tail... and Drill Run comes out on top! Pikachu goes crashing to the ground as Ash gapes in horror, Pikachu struggling back to its feet as he asks if it can still battle... and it can! Pikachu ain't going down so easily!



OH SWEET JESUS!

Excadrill leapt out of the ground with Dig and then hit Pikachu with a direct shot of Focus Blast, knocking Pikachu the FUCK OUT! It's over, Ash and Iris finally had their battle... and Iris won! Iris and Excadrill are back on the victorious path again, and unlike in the previous round where she did NOTHING to deserve it, this time the battle was well won.

Don George weeps manly tears of pleasure as he watches Iris hug Excadrill and Ash thank Pikachu for a good battle while the crowd cheers both. The two finalists approach in the middle of the battlefield and congratulate each other (while Dino slices open his wrists in a dingy Poké Center bathroom somewhere), the big screen in the middle of the arena showing Iris' face and the word WINNER beneath it - because that is what she is. Even Georgia has to admit that Iris "might" be a slightly more interesting rival now.

They shake hands, but before dey hadns cna from a hrart omg 2geva4eva, Don George grabs them both by the wrists and raises their surprises arms up in victory, sharing in their moment in the spotlight. He and THE SCOOP award Iris with the prize of Seven Feathers in a frame, and THE SCOOP asks Iris for a few words while REAL cameramen film everything. She says hello to everyone in the Village of Dragons and tells them that she is fine, travelling is great and this prize proves how hard she has been working, and she'll send it on through Pidove Delivery to the Village of Dragons.

As the sun sets, Georgia tells Iris not to get carried away for winning some "teensy tournament" (that Georgia got knocked out of!), and she needs to hurry up and become a Dragon Master or else Georgia can't call her a rival. She says a grumpy goodbye and heads away, while behind a confused Iris, Cilan and Burgundy say a rather friendlier goodbye and promise to continue their Connoisseur Battle another time. Luke wants to get back to editing his film and Bianca wants to come along and help... so she can spend more time with Zorua! Ash just wants to move on to Nimbasa City for his next Gym Battle, the tournament has only whetted his insatiable appetite for more battling. Stephan offers him encouragement and becomes furious when Ash happily gets his name wrong again. With that, they all head their separate ways - continuing on their respective journeys while we're left to wonder if Team Rocket were successful in their plotting or if it will come up in a later episode. For now, though, this is Iris' day - she may have fluked her way into the final, but she deserved that victory, and for today SHE is the Champion and Ash is just her travelling companion.



Let's hear it for Iris!

BEST QUOTES

"I don't know what just happened.... but I'm getting really psyched!"

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