ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
694: Cilan Versus Trip, Ash Versus Georgia!	699: Netto Don Batoru! Tsutaja Bui Esu Komatana!	Reverse Rivals!			: The First Round of the Nimbasa Battle Tournament Ends, the Second Round Begins!	Nowhere to be seen	Whoever you are, Cilan is probably better than you.

Last episode, the twerps and ALL their rivals showed up for the Nimbasa Battle Tournament - held in a large stadium in Nimbasa Town that has statues of Don George in it! Despite the massive size of the stadium and the intense interest in the Tournament, there were apparently only 16 people taking part and most of those are twerps or associates! Anyway, Ash successfully defeated Cilan's "rival" Burgundy, and now it is Cilan's turn to do the same for Ash and defeat HIS rival, Trip! No matter what happens, either Cilan or Trip will be OUT of this contest following this battle. Then who knows what will happen next, maybe Ash will have to face Cilan? Or Trip? Or maybe even Iris if she makes it through the first round? Why it could be anyone, that's the exciting part about it, there is no way of knowing who it mi-



Oh. Oh, nevermind.

Luke continues to film as Don George and THE SCOOP discuss the upcoming battle. Cilan and Trip face off, Cilan telling Trip he remembers his Gym Battle and hopes to get some more of that flavour. Trip says he's only gotten better since then, and reminds Cilan that he did BEAT Chili back at the Gym when they fought. From the sidelines, Iris says she can't imagine Trip losing, but Burgundy certainly can! She emerges from nowhere to seethe furiously at the idea of Cilan making it further in the contest than her. She begins flailing her arms in fury, while the ref calls for the battle to start and it's immediately Dwebble versus... Gurdurr? It's a grumpy looking misshapen golem-looking thing with terrible hair and carrying a steel girder. Obviously Trip's Timburr evolved, though whether the log of wood evolved into steel somehow seems unlikely.

Cilan opens with X-Scissor but Gurdurr is able to avoid it by using the steel beam as a brace to spin clear. Dwebble comes back with Slash but Gurdurr uses the beam to keep it from getting closer and toss it aside. It then plants the beam into the ground firmly and clenches its fists for ROck Smash, its fists glowing as it charges and throws a punch that hits Dwebble's rock-shell as it cowers... and the rock begins to crack! That's why they call it Rock Smash! Burgundy is delighted while the twerps are horrified, and Cilan tries to keep it backing away. Trip is ready for that though and has Gurdurr use Stone Edge to blast shards of stone at Dwebble, putting it in real trouble. Luke is pleased though, he's getting great action on his camera... till Bianca shoves her face into frame to ask him if he's seen Zorua! He complains that he is trying to make a movie here, but she pouts that this is no time to make a movie when Zorua is missing, and Luke looks about and rather reluctantly admits she may have a point.

Dwebble is struggling, and Trip is smugly impressed that it hasn't given up yet. Cilan admits that Trip has improved, but then gets smug himself as he declares that now it is HIS turn, because.... IT'S EVALUATING TIME! Iris (and Axew) look tired and resigned to Cilan's dramatics, while Burgundy grits her teeth in frustration that her rival isn't panicking. Cilan points a finger and starts laying out all of Gurdurr's qualities, talking it up before stating that despite this, he and Dwebble are going to win through a mixture of offense and defence. Ash roars with delight at his buddy's confidence, while Iris is just amusingly making a tired "oh for fuck's sake!" face. Trip sends in Gurdurr (teehee, DURRR!) with Dynamic Punch and Dwebble dodges, and the battle is back on!

Meanwhile, Bianca is walking around the corridors of the Stadium trying to find Zorua. She spots Georgia and rushes over, actually bouncing up and down in anticipation as she asks if she has seen Zorua. Georgia shakes her head with an odd smile on her face and doesn't actually say anything (I WONDER WHAT COULD BE THE REASON FOR THIS!?!), then walks on. Bianca sighs and moves on, then is delighted to see Georgia and rushes over, actually bouncing up and down in anticipation as asks if she has seen Zorua..... and then finally realises that something isn't quite right here. She turns and sees Zorua-Georgia giggling before she rushes over and happily hugs the real Georgia, who finds the whole thing understandably unsettling.



I'd say this would have kickstarted a new shipping if it probably didn't already exist the very second people were aware that both characters existed.

Georgia tosses her away, and she turns back into Zorua with a giggle and rushes away, chased by the hip-twitching Bianca who calls out desperately that they can watch the tournament together - she's got Pokémon food! Georgia watches them go, then actually grins, showing a rare moment of just being a regular nice person as she says that the two of them can stir things up.

Back on the battlefield, Cilan orders a Shell Smash from Dwebble followed by Rock Slide to.... TEAR APART THE FABRIC OF REALITY ITSELF AND DROP HUGE BOULDERS ONTO GURDURR'S HEAD!

"Wait, is that allowed!?!" roars a furious Burgundy, while Iris gasps that of course it is, and isn't it cool that Dwebble can do that! Ash co-opts Cilan's line by saying it's comeback time, and he's right! Gurdurr finds itself trapped in the rocks, struggling to get clear as Trip yells to get out of there. Cilan sends Dwebble in with Slash, and at the last second Gurdurr is able to grab its beam... but no more! It's too late, Dwebble scores the hit and the rocks are smashed, leaving Gurdurr clear but hurting bad. Trip yells for it to get back up, practically begging as he says that he knows it can get back up... but it can't! It's out! It's down and out and the battle is over! And the winner is... Cilan! Cilan beats Trip! Fucking awesome!

Cilan kneels down to thank Dwebble for winning him the battle, and the sudden flash and whir of a camera surprises him. He turns and sees Trip who has just taken his photo, telling Cilan that he is chronicling his journey, and he wants to make sure he never forgets this loss. With that he is off, walking out of frame as Luke rushes in with his camera. Delighted, Cilan lifts his chin bravely and asks if there are any questions... but all Luke does is giggle. It's Zorua, of course, and the real Luke rushes over furiously, complaining that this is his camera so give it back! ""I guess there's no interview then!" he laughs, taking it all very much in his stride. Burgundy, however, is not! She roars and raves and smashes her arms up and down complaining bitterly that Cilan had better lose his last match! LOSE LOSE LOSE LOSE LOSE! She stands with eyes wide and brows twitching in pure fury, while Bianca arrives on the scene relieved but still worried that Zorua is back around. Ash reminds her uneasily that she... uhh... she actually has a battle on now! Stephan tells her it is against him, then turns to Ash and tells him that once he's done with Bianca, he's next! So he better win his battle, because Stephan wants revenge for his previous loss to him. As he tells Ash this, though, Bianca's chipmunk cheeks bulge in discontent, she doesn't appreciate being immediately overlooked any more than anyone would.

We join the battle in progress, Minccino dodges Zebstrika's attacks and tickling with its tail before hitting a Double Slap and then using Hyper Voice to blast the Zebra looking Pokémon with soundwaves. But Stephan offers encouragement, telling it to hold on and show that it can take it. Zebstrika manages to look badass by forcing itself still against the sonic waves, then glows yellow with electricity. It's very impressive... the effect somewhat ruined by its horrendous braying voice constantly bleating in the background. But it blasts Minccino with the electric attack, then charges forward and uses Stomp to slam its big hooves directly into Minccinno's face, squashing the rodent's head and blasting its brains out of it ears and all over the sand. Bianca vomits in horror as the crowd falls silent in shock, and Stephan gasps while Zebstrika stumbles backwards in shock, the battle has been taken too far! Various officials rush into the arena to try and clear the scene, but Luke's camera provides all the damning evidence that is needed. A Congressional Inquiry follows, with the eventual result being the banning of Pokémon Battling as a cruel and unusual sport. The economy falters, the school system can't deal with the influx of students forced back into the real world and school teachers can't deal with the ill discipline that their life on the road instilled in them. Meanwhile, the likes of Ash who simply cannot live without the thrill of battle find themselves falling into the underground battling circuit, mixing with a dangerous criminal underworld and having to do distasteful things to maintain the necessities of life. Oh wait, no it just got dazed circle eyes and was all better a little bit later.

The ref declares the battle over and the winner is "Stefan", and Stephan sighs at his name being wrong again but hey... he won! Bianca hugs Minccino and wails that it isn't fair, and it probably isn't, but thems the breaks! The Tournament continues with Luke and his Golett going up against Scooter and his Darmanitan, and they quickly get a victory. Then Iris has Emolga go up against Jimmy Ray's Watchog, driving it wild with lust and then knocking it out with Hidden Power - we don't even get to see any more of Jimmy Ray, the bizarre Furry with the meow-meow face!

The First Round is over and the Top 8 are shown - it's Georgia, Dino, Antonio, Ash, Cilan, Stephan, Luke and Iris - all but two are twerps or twerp associates! Round Two doesn't take place till tomorrow, and Don George suggests they go back to the Pokémon Center and get lots of rest. They do head back, where Ash spots Trip collecting Gurdurr and wearing his backpack. Ash asks what he is doing, and Trip grunts that Gurdurr is healed up now so he's leaving. Ash doesn't understand, the tournament isn't over! Trip replies that his Pokémon aren't going to get any stronger from WATCHING a battle, that's basic stuff, and turns and leaves. It's a nice reminder that Trip is still a kid himself, because what IS basic is that you can learn a lot from watching other trainers battling, especially ones who are demonstrably better than you since they made it through to the next round! Cilan tells Ash that people just have to be as they are, and Iris says that this may be so but she still doesn't get him. Ash calls after Trip that they next time they meet they should have a battle, but Trip's only reply is to wave his arm dismissively without looking back.



WHO'S THAT POKEMO.... HOLY SHIT IT'S PYRAMID HEAD! OH GOD IT'S GOING TO RAPE THE SHIT OU-oh hang on, it's just Gurdurr. Phew!



That night they're all settled down to a meal, which Ash loves the taste of. Cilan says thanks for the compliment, but the meal doesn't appear to have been prepared by him since there's a big buffet and Stephan is piling up a plate from it. Ash tells Stephan (getting his name wrong again) that they could be battling tomorrow, then leaps up and scoops up a big plate of more food. Iris sighs that they're both little kids, while beside her Iris stands beaming with delight. Surprised, Iris turns to look at her doppelganger, but apparently she isn't retarded since she immediately figures out that it is Zorua. Bianca comes rushing up eagerly asking the second Iris to eat dinner with her, offering choices of pizza or salad or skipping straight to desert. Iris-Zorua leaps up and turns into Axew, grabbing it by one paw and running it around in circles to confuse Bianca. Axew doesn't take kind to it, pulling its paw clear and snapping its own name grumpily, and Zorua replies with a,"YAX! YAX!" of its own, emulating Axew's grumpiness though its smile never breaks. Bianca reaches down and scoops up "Zorua" to hug it and squeeze it, getting the wrong one, of course. Iris leaps up with a squawk and complains,"That's my Axew you're squeezing!" which, when said quickly, is HIGHLY open to misinterpretation! They argue over whether it is Axew or Zorua, getting into a tug of war over the little squawking dragon. Luke comes by in the background filming the various trainers and narrating, and Zorua spots him and leaps back over to him, turning back into itself. Bianca spots it with delight and immediately released Axew, causing Iris to fall backwards into a fantastic comedy spot.



She chases it out of the kitchen again, while Ash and Stephan continue to gobble down food arguing over who is going to win. Iris sits up and wonders where Bianca gets that energy, then sees Ash thumping his chest to get rid of his indigestion from gobbling his food too quickly. In the late evening they're back in their room, where Cilan is enjoying some tea while Ash lies back on his bed in his boxers and undershirt, fat belly swollen from eating. Iris is happily watching Dwebble fix up the cracks in its rockshell, and Cilan says this is good because he may need it for Round Two. Suddenly Burgundy's mocking voice catches his attention, she's apparently just come wandering into the room to mock Cilan, completely ignoring the near-naked Ash and his grossly swollen belly as he lies splayed out on his back. Cilan looks over him, asking Burgundy what she means, and she says that no matter what pairing he comes up with he'll have the worst taste battling ever! And he wants her to remember it was all in her re-evaluation! She stares at him with insane-wide eyes, then heads away as Cilan sighs that she proves that sometimes you can have too much spice.

The next day, Ash has turned all that food into ridiculous energy, as he comes bouncing up to the stadium eager to fight. Georgia arrives and tells Iris that she was surprised to see that Iris actually has gotten a teeeeeensy bit stronger. Instantly exploiting the opening, Iris smugly asks Georgia if she's worried, but Georgia smugly insists back that a good Dragon Buster needs tough competition so they can enjoy beating the pants off of their opponent (oh so she wants to get Iris' pants off, does she?). As they snap back and forth at each other, Cilan is freaking out subtly in the background as they began flashing eye lightning at each other before finally turning their backs on each other. But then Zorua appears on the scene again disguised as Georgia (Zorua REALLY digs Georgia's look!), and Iris delights in grabbing her arms and putting words into "Georgia's" mouth again, infuriating the redhead, whose eye twitches in disgust.

Inside the Stadium, the crowds have gathered and THE SCOOP announced the second round match-ups. It's Georgia vs. Ash (of course! The title gave it away!), Antonio vs. Dino (hahaha one of them won't even get to fight a twerp!), Cilan vs. Luke and Stephan vs. Iris!

Ash wonders if she'll use Beartic or another Pokémon, and we soon find out as the battle begins! It's Snivy, and she's up against.... Pawniard! It’s a creepy, robot-baby looking Pokémon with a spiked helmet... in fact it's ENTIRE body is made up of blades! That's... incredibly dangerous and must make sex a nightmare!

Ash opens with Leaf Storm, but Pawniard uses Metal Claw to slash easily through it, impressing Cilan while Iris is completely and totally in Ash's corner for once, shouting encouragement to him. Ash tries another Leaf Storm, but Pawniard easily dodges and uses Metal Claw directly on Snivy, knocking it down. Stephan tells Luke that this is all about Spirit, and he seems to know Ash pretty well since that is what he does! He calls on Snivy to get up and keep fighting, and has her use Attract and... it doesn't work! Everybody is shocked, even Dino in the background looks utterly astounded! Ash gasps that this can only mean... Pawniard's a girl!

Georgia laughs that it took him long enough to figure this out (well it's not like Pawniard has blade tits or anything!), and has Pawniard use Iron Head. Snivy dodges, rocks bouncing up all around it, and it is able to use Vine Whip to smack the rocks back... and one hits Pawniard's head and gets impaled on the blade, trapping it lying on its side! Snivy smacks it with Vine Whip and then flips in for a Leaf Blade.... but Georgia uses that whole Fighting Spirit thing herself and encourages Pawniard to get up. She manages to roll to her feet and leaps up, causing Snivy to smash the rock with Leaf Blade and free Pawniard. Georgia declares it is time to finish this and tells Pawniard to use Guillotine and wrap this thing up, and Pawniard's blade hands become swords as it leaps forward. Snivy darts back and manages to avoid the attack, which smashes a huge hole in the ground. Iris is astonished at the power and Cilan warns that it can defeat an opponent with a single move, yelling to Ash to be careful. Pawniard rushes in to attack, dodging a couple of Vine Whips but not the third, which wraps around it and tosses her backward. But she manages to find her balance and land on her feet, planting herself and hauling Snivy off of her feet and spinning her around. She then rushes in with Guillotine again as Ash yells for Snivy to get up, those sword-blade hands getting closer and closer as we realise fuck fuck fuck we're out of time and that means this episode is....

BEST QUOTES

"Excuse me but that's my Axew you're squeezing!"

Previous Episode Next Episode Episode List