ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
693: Reunion Battles in Nimbasa!	698: Zen'in Shugo! Don Batoru!	Everybody hates somebody!			The twerps and a shitload of rivals meet in the Nimbasa Battle Tournament	Planning SOMETHING	Concentrate on your CURRENT opponent, not your NEXT one!

Today finds.... Team Rocket! They're in Nimbasa at night, looking out over the bright lights of the big city and the huge neon-lit Ferris wheel. James clenches his fist dramatically against the background shot of the Ferris wheel, they mean to progress their plans to make the Unova region the Boss'.... somehow.

The next day, the twerps arrive in the city as well, peering about in delight - especially at that big ass Ferris wheel. Luke is with them, Zorua perched on his head as he films everything with his camera. Ash asks him where the Gym is, but Luke is confused what he means, a Gym? Ash explains he means the Nimbasa City Gym, and Luke tells them that this isn't Nimbasa City, it's Nimbasa Town!

Oh you dirty ass motherfuckers!

Cilan and Iris didn't know either, surprisingly, as Cilan checks it out with his map and learns that Nimbasa City is still quite some distance away. Ash quickly gets over his disappointment though, the Battle Tournament is going to be a perfect warm-up for his Gym Battle. Just then they hear a hyperactive, alarmed voice squeaking in the background and turn to see a wide-hipped blond woman in a too-long dress waddle-running towards them squeaking to get out of her way, get out of her way! It's Bianca, of course, and she smashes headfirst into Ash and knocks him into the fountain, soaking him. Ash's reaction is to strip down AGAIN (this time he at least keeps his pants on) and dry out his top against the gas-cooker they use for their meals - at least he isn't making a campfire in the street again! He remembers Bianca knocking him into the canal the last time they met and sighs that she needs to learn to look where she's going, while the chipmunk-looking girl babbles apologies and bows to him. She explains she was running to register for the Tournament, and then worries that she might have missed it. Cilan tells her not to worry, they're registering too, and with a squeak of delight she wobbles away asking them what they're all waiting for. Iris sighs that she has a bad feeling about this and Ash sneezes (much like he did when Angie's parents asked her if she was going to marry him!). Iris might have a bad feeling, but we've got nothing but hope and excitement for the....



Luke gets Golett to set up his camera and begins a piece of camera, obviously planning a documentary of the tournament. Bianca pops up into frame, eagerly eying up the camera and getting in the way of the shot. Luke explains what he is doing and then asks Bianca if he can interview her... only he's asking a Bianca next to him and Bianca is still on her knees in front of the camera? Two Biancas!?! It's the answer to somebody's oddly specific fetish, and the culprit is obviously Zorua.

Bianca is delighted to see Zorua, her cheeks shine bright with delight at the cute and fluffy Pokémon, hauls out a Pokéball and tosses it right in its face! It bounces off, Zorua shaking its head to clear it, while Bianca can't understand why it didn't work - surely this Pokémon in the middle of a town full of trainers must be a wild Pokémon, and surely so weak that it can be captured without a fight! Luke explains Zorua is his, and she asks if he wants to trade her for Pignite, and gasps that Zorua can decide and leaps forward to try and hug her, confused when Zorua leaps clear.

The twerps - used to her nonsense - are ignoring her as they look over at the registration booth. She zips by in excitement to go and register, and Luke mutters that she must take great vitamins - which is a polite way of saying he thinks she's high as fuck.

Ash steps up to the booth and says they'd like to register, and Don George turns around to happily tell them that he's here to help. As they openly and rudely comment on how he looks identical to the other Don Georges, he has his student hand them forms to fill out. They head to a nearby bench to do so, where they must enter their names, hometowns and choose three Pokémon to use. Ash ponders who to pick and Pikachu gets right in his face, so he assures it that of course he'll always need him, much to Pikachu's delight. A voice gets their attention, it's Burgundy, surprised to see he is still using the same "peppery Pokémon" - she's Cilan's "rival" and she's come for some sweet revenge! But Cilan is confused, she still seems so angry, is she not a higher class of connoisseur yet? She sweatdrops in alarm at having been so expertly (and unthinkingly and without malice!) put in her place, but gasps that it's no matter, bungling her French as she insists that she'll show him the stuff - because it's now RE-evaluating time!

Which is when the Zebra gets in her face.

As surprised by this turn of events as everyone else, she tries to talk to the Zebstrika, which is being ridden on by Stephan. Ash says hello (and screws up Stephan's name again!), asking him if he means to take part in the Battle Tournament too. Stephan says he is, being that rarest of characters, one who actually DID go away and get stronger and come back for more unlike all the other Character-Of-The-Days. Ash checks out the evolved Blitzle, and then.... Georgia shows up! Complaining about the stink of Dragon Types, she catches Iris' attention, and the two get right to the sniping. Georgia mocks Iris for her "gigantic head" and Iris snaps back that she just doesn't understand an "impressive" hairstyle. Deadpan, Georgia tells her that SHE is a first-class Dragon Buster who will never lose to the likes of Iris. Iris uses her standard "such a kid" retort, and a grumpy Georgia snaps back so what, Iris is a kid too! As they pointedly DON'T look at each other, Zorua zips over and turns into Georgia, and a delighted Iris can't resist the chance to grab her arms and "talk" for her, having Zorua-Georgia proclaim that a Dragon-Buster like her can't stand up to Iris!



Furious, Georgia takes a swipe at Zorua which easily jumps clear and transforms back, and Iris pets it on the head and thanks it for being a true friend. Georgia snipes at Iris again about being more of a kid than she EVER was, and Iris snarks back, asking if Georgia has ALWAYS been that old?

Hahaha, I fucking love this chick.

As they glare daggers (and lightning!) at each other, Ash turns and spots Trip in the distance taking photos of the surroundings. He waves eagerly at Trip who spots him through the view-lens and mutters in complete lack of surprise to see them all there. Sardonically he asks if Ash has gotten better, then walks away without waiting for an answer, leaving Ash fuming with his cheeks hilariously puffed out.

Soon the tournament begins! Thousands are packed into a large stadium for the Battle Tournament, whooping and cheering as the various trainers pack onto the battle arena. A middle-aged news-anchor type is sitting at a commentary table, doing the announcing for the tournament and introducing himself as Freddy "The Scoop" O'Martin - gone are the big-breasted MC sisters from Sinnoh and Hoenn and Kanto, it's all about "The Scoop" now and not the scooping neckline! He introduces Don George, who is sponsoring the event, and Don George explains that the winner of the Tournament will receive a special stats-boosting set of seven wings designed to improve the stats of Pokémon in various different areas. Everyone is excited (one fan is PARTICULARLY excited, declaring that she loves Don George), and Don George announces that the battles will now begin. The Scoop takes over, announcing that the first random pairing will now go up, and on the big screen they all watch as the first battle is announced - Georgia vs..... Sylvester?

Hahaha, well at least he got a name before being beaten and sent home in disgrace!

Georgia calls out to "Iris the little Kid" who rants back that at least this "little kid" has impressive hair. They glare lightning at each other once again, Georgia telling her to make sure she doesn't lose too soon, she wants the joy of beating her for herself. Iris growls there is fat chance, while in the background Sylvester mumbles to Iris that Georgia IS fighting him first - poor Sylvester, he hasn't realised that he's not a real person with a soul yet. The next battle is Dino (a Lance the G-Man Junior looking motherfucker) vs. Omega - some poor fat kid who is bound to lose immediately to the much cooler looking Dino. Following that is Antonio vs. Immanuel, which nobody but them cares about, and then.... Burgundy vs. Ash! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Burgundy won't even get to lose to Cilan! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Burgundy really doesn't grasp that she's doomed though, dismissing Ash as a "flat glass of seltzer water" (so.... water?) and saying she wants to bring the pain to Cilan because he has a LARGE bill to pay. He stammers that he can't wait, but he's going to have to! Not only does Burgundy have to face Ash, but Cilan is facing.... TRIP!

Oh snap son, it's on like Donkey Kong!

Stephan will face Bianca (awwww), and Bianca turns happily to Stephan and asks him if he is Stephen.... Stefan? Stephan sighs that nobody ever gets it right but then cheerfully says hello, while Luke will be squaring off against the bushy-eyebrowed Scooter... who really isn't too pleased about Luke wanting to film him. Battle eight will be Iris vs. Jimmy Ray.... and Jimmy Ray is wearing a goddamn Watchog head hoodie! That's sick! Iris looks around for him and spots him, and he's a disturbing sight indeed - he's not a Watchog hunter who kills, skins and wears the dead heads of Watchogs at all - judging from the way he grins and holds up his hands like paws in Iris' direction, he's a goddamn furry who wants to reveal his "inner Watchog" and that hoodie is his fucking fursuit! He makes a beaming happy, socially awkward noise in Iris' direction, and her reaction is... well, it's entirely appropriate for the situation at hand.



Don George and The Scoop seem to have a little confusion over exactly who is on Play-by-Play, but eventually The Scoop takes control - he's going to be the Vince McMahon to Don George's Jesse Ventura. The rules of the battles are given out - trainers may battle with one of their three registered Pokémon, but no exchanges are permitted! Ash says it's time to make a plan, and Iris says she didn't think he ever did. Georgia mutters smugly to herself that Iris should watch and learn, and Iris roars out "encouragement" to Sylvester, telling him that no matter the fact she doesn't know who he is, she KNOWS he can beat Georgia! Sylvester sighs, bravely trying to push on against the inevitable, and in response to Georgia's Beartic he sends out... a Joltik!



Oh my gentle Jesus, he is fucked.

Georgia has Beartic use Rock Smash, but Joltik dodges the attack, then the next, then the next and next! It zips about keeping out of Beartic's way, gets onto its back and blasts Thunderbolt..... Beartic goes down! BEARTIC GOES DOWN! The winner is Sylve.... wait! Beartic lies stunned on its back, eyes opening in surprise at the beating it took... but where is Joltik? Finally it emerges.... from underneath Beartic's massive bulk! Squashed when Beartic fell, Joltik was knocked out and the winner is... Georgia! She gasps in delight and jumps about in excitement over her "victory", while Iris sighs that Georgia is even more of a little kid than she thought.

Next up is Battle #2 of 8 (apparently only 16 trainers showed up to this big event?), and Dino is surprisingly using a Deerling which is an oddly cute and pink Pokémon. But Dino dominates as expected, and then it is Antonio and Immanuel's time and their Tranquil and Scolipede face off... with Antonio's Tranquil coming out on top. But the hell with those no-names (well technically they have names), because now it's Burgundy vs. Ash! He is all excited to get out there, but Cilan stops him to warn him about the type of Pokémon that Burgundy has used in the past and Iris asks which he intends to use - Pikachu? Tepig? Snivy? None of them apparently, Ash has a different sort of Pokémon in mind, and he rushes off to have his battle without telling them. Cilan laughs that you never know what flavour of battle you'll get from Ash, and across the arena the other "name" contestants all comment, Trip grunting that no matter what Ash does, it is bound to be a mess.

Ash says he wants to have a great battle, but Burgundy grunts that the only thing she cares about is beating Cilan. Fighting Ash is like buying a day-old baguette, and she laughs at his dream of winning this tournament and then beating the Gym Leader at Nimbasa City. She tells him that once she beats him he might reconsidering changing his entire team like she suggested, and she calls out her Stoutland - a big ol' fluffy dog! Ash checks it out with his Pokédex and learns it is a big-hearted Pokémon skilling rescue. Ash's response is.... Palpitoad! He's using Palpitoad NOW!?! The Scoop and Don George are surprised, and Burgundy is too, asking if Ash actually DID do a full Pokémon swap. He explains happily that he caught Palpitoad, and this is its DEBUT battle, he's decided to see how they get on as a team... in a fucking tournament! Against a Connoisseur! Burgundy is surprised, amazed, and quite pleased! She prepares to battle, but Ash gets in the early advantage with Palpitoad's Mudshot, hitting Stoutland directly in the face with Mud. It shakes it clear and hits a hard Tackle, then bites down with a Thunder Fang... but it doesn't seem to affect Palpitoad... indeed Palpitoad seems to be enjoying it! Don George explains that Palpitoad is part-Ground Type so the electric attack won't hurt it, and Cilan comments that it was a big mistake. Burgundy seems pleased though, thanking Cilan before revealing her strategy - Stoutland uses Ice Fang and freezes Palpitoad!

Everybody is shocked... well everybody but Trip, who grunts that Ash is finished. Burgundy mocks Ash but he seems to be taking things well, if with a little concern. He tells Palpitoad to use Supersonic, and it blasts Stoutland with waves of Sonic Energy which also break it free of the ice. Bianca is delighted, it worked.... before she stops to ask the others if it actually did or not.

Burgundy tells Ash not to celebrate yet and has Stoutland use Tackle and then Fire Fang... but Ash is prepared and has Palpitoad counter with Mudshot... and blasts Stoutland right in the mouth with mud! It crashes to the ground and tries to cough up the mud, but then Palpitoad blasts it with Hydro-Pump and smashes it hard against the wall, leaving it absolutely stunned, shocked and unable to move - it can't continue to battle, the winner is Ash!

More importantly, I just noticed that the Stadium has at least one giant ass statue of Don George doing a muscle pose, hahaha!

Ash is delighted, congratulating Palpitoad on a great job. Sadly Palpitoad seems to be straight up friendly and pleasant, when it was such a glorious jerk earlier, but it's early days yet. Burgundy is kind to Stoutland despite their loss, likening it to a lily fresh from the rain. Trip stands up and walks away in preparation for his battle, smirking that Ash just got lucky. Amongst the other twerps, Bianca is presenting that large rump to a surprised Stephan, squeaking that she hasn't seen Zorua, has anyone seen Zorua? Georgia points off in the distance and Bianca wobbles away eagerly. Georgia sits beaming happily on the seat... until Georgia shows up behind her and seethingly states that Zorua is wearing "her" face. The Georgia that was seated leaps up happily and turns back into Zorua, and Luke apologetically tells Georgia that obviously Zorua likes the way she looks!

But it's time for the next battle, and that battle is the big one! Cilan vs. Trip! The Scoop asks Don George what he thinks, and Don George points out that Cilan is a Gym Leader and that is going to make this a tough battle for Trip. So the young jerk and the talented Connoisseur face off, with the other contestants watching, and only one of them can be the winner!

BEST QUOTES

"I may not have a clue who you are, Sylvester! But I KNOW you should beat her!" "It worked! .... did it work?"

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