ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
691: A Fishing Connoisseur in a Fishy Competition!	696: Tsuri Somurie Dento Tojo!	Continuity City			The twerps and Bianca take part in a fishing contest	Back to the best basics	Girls need an older man to teach them how to handle a rod

Today starts with some wonderfully upbeat music as the twerps leave a modern looking Pokémon Center. Ash asks Cilan how much longer till they get to Nimbasa City, and Cilan checks his Town Map and says they're nearly there. Keen-eyed viewers (and spergers!) will note that they're in a particularly large city and perhaps wonder why this big sprawling metropolis doesn't have a Gym of its own. The reason is because they're actually in Castelia City - this is one of the episodes that was delayed in airing due to the severe earthquake/tsunami in Japan - and editing has been done to disguise this to fit in with the new continuity.

Fascinating eh? Well, no, not really. But anyway! Ash can't wait to get to Nimbasa, but as they set off down the streets alongside a canal they hear a frantic squawking and Ash turns to see... BIANCA! The delightfully ditzy woman-child is waddling as fast as her long skirt will let her, gasping at Ash to get out of her way as she throws out her hands and rams into him, knocking him into the canal. He emerges from the water, Bianca having the good grace to actually stop and look in on him, and he assures them that he is fine. As he speaks though, an odd looking Pokémon is watching him from the water. Hmmm, pretending they're in a different city, Bianca showing up out of nowhere, Ash in the water, a Pokémon staring at him - there are so many fishy things going on here that it will take a real Connoisseur to sort them all out. Yes, we need....



Ash has no problem stripping down to his underwear and making a little campfire RIGHT THERE ON THE GODDAMN PAVEMENT, holding his jacket up to dry while Pikachu does the same with his hat. Bianca is babbling apologies to the near naked little boy, so frantic that she doesn't bother to ask him why the hell he didn't just head back to the Pokémon Centre to dry off. Ash just wants to know why she was in such a hurry, and she goes over all chipmunk happy and shows him by reaching down to her crotch... and pulling a flier for a fishing competition out of her bag. Cilan gasps in astonishment and grabs at the flier, dropping to his knees in front of her crotch in delight at what he is seeing (well I guess Iris really doesn't do it for him). Bianca explains that she was eager to enter the contest, and Ash asks if she is a pro (that's rude!) and she explains it is her first time (that's not all that surprising!). As she babbles happily away about how she couldn't "do it" while she was at home, but now she's on her own she wants to "try it once" (this girl is FILTHY!), Cilan's eyes are DEVOURING the fishing flier. Ash happily says he has done some fishing in the past so maybe he'll take part too, and Iris says she'll take part too and she bets Ash can't catch more than her.

And that's when Cilan snaps.

"GOOD!" he roars,"BECAUSE IT'S FISHING TIIIIIIIIIIME!"
Ash and Iris are surprised, watching as Cilan roars that fishing isn't as easy as it looks, and then we see the reason this episode was delayed. We see Cilan's imagination run wild as he sees himself on a boat surrounded by towering waves, battling with a mysterious Pokémon as he raves happily about the skill and perseverance that a fisherman needs - for you see, he is a fishing connoisseur too! Bianca is confused, is there such a thing? Iris laughs,"Who knows?" and Ash seems delighted but Cilan's excitement - none of them taking it as seriously as Cilan is.

They head towards the sign-up booth, and who should we find working the booth? Team Rocket! In a throw-back to older days, they're working at a local event with a plan to steal the various trainers' Pokémon. The trainers will catch lots of water type Pokémon that will be capturing in fish-labelled Pokéballs, and then Team Rocket will pick through the best of the best and steal them for the Boss.

The twerps hand in their forms and James and Jesse give them their Fishing Pokéballs, and tell all the assembled contestants what the prize is - a golden super-duper rod! Everyone gasps at the sight of the golden fishing rod, all but Cilan who casts a smug look of appreciation towards it. Iris is agog, gasping that she's never heard of it, but it looks great! Ash reminds us all he's an idiot by declaring he wants to use that rod in the competition (does he think it's "CALLED IT!" rules?) and Jesse has to correct him. James points to the contest rods that are available for use, while Iris (quite rightly) berates Ash for thinking he could use the prize rod in the competition. They head off to select their rods, Bianca trying to grab the first one she sees but being stopped by Cilan who insists on selecting the rod for her, telling her she must choose a rod perfect for a beginner. Ash asks if Cilan has chosen a rod yet, and he replies with a ,"HA HA HA!" and then whips out... a pen? Nope, it's an extendable rod (which technically Ash has already seen since he was gasping over it only a few episodes ago! The wonders of continuity!) while Cilan extends in front of a gaping Bianca and Ash (oh this episode, teehee), while Iris sighs at what a big deal he is making of all of this.

They head down to the pier where all the contestants are setting up, a small enclosed area off to the side obviously where they then battle the Pokémon they catch. Bianca gets excited and begins waving her rod about as Iris ducks to avoid it, and Ash heads straight to the water to begin fishing. Iris runs about in the background trying to avoid Bianca's wildly flailing line, and then Bianca catches one! A whopper!



Oh Bianca.

Ash shouts that it's him, and Bianca looks back over her shoulder and mumbles that she doesn't think it counts if she catches him. Cilan unhooks Ash and Bianca apologises, reminding them that she really is a total beginner, but Cilan tells her not to worry, he'll teach them. He demonstrates two different ways to cast a line, tells them to calm down and concentrate and then demonstrates an overhead cast (with a dramatic,"It's overhead cast time!) and a slow drawing in of the line to attract the attention of the Water Pokémon. He gets a nibble on the line and Ash and Bianca eagerly tell him to reel it in, but he chuckles at them to show patience - at the moment the Water Pokémon is merely getting a taste, it hasn't taken a real bite yet. Ash listens wide-eyed, while Bianca murmurs to herself, wondering what the bait tastes like (teehee!). Cilan gets a proper bite and pulls back slightly on the line, raising the rod and slowly drawing the Water Pokémon to the surface before hauling it into the air - it's a Basculin - a trap-jawed angry barracuda/piranha looking Pokémon. The Pokédex warns that they're bad-tempered and racist (different colours don't get along), and the twerps think it is about to escape. Cilan explains that it is merely part of the dance, the ebb and flow between fisherman and Pokémon. He hauls it up into the air and lands it in the pool beside them, compliments its body and skin and sends out Pansage to fight it.... and Basculin begins to beat the shit out of it! The twerps are impressed at Basculin's strength, but Cilan knows what he is doing and waits for just the right moment before having Pansage hit back, smashing it with Bullet Seed and then letting it chase him through the water, taking advantage of its temper to lead it directly into one of the floating platforms, donking itself on the head and being flipped into the air. Pansage follows up with a Solar Beam and blasts it out of the sky and down to the platform where it flops in agony, and Cilan tosses his Fishing Pokéball and makes his catch! He poses happily as Pansage (for some strange reason) appears beside him apparently having slipped and in a bit of a panic, which goes completely unexplained. Cilan holds the Pokéball triumphantly and declares he will allow it to mature in the Fishing Pokéball and ripen into full bloom. Ash and Bianca are incredibly impressed, though Bianca admits she hasn't got a fucking clue what the hell he is saying. But Iris looks pissed, growling that he won't be ahead for long!

The contest has started in full force now and plenty of contestants are happily handing in Pokéballs to Jesse and James who are offering them happy encouragement (Cilan standing smugly in the background). Back at the pier, Iris is convinced she can outcatch Cilan, but as time passes, she grows more and more frustrated, sighing and sitting, lying down, her rod set in place beside her without a single nibble. Frustrated beyond all measure, she pulls off her shoes and socks and tells Axew that she'll get a big one the way she always does. She peers in the water at the Basculin, then rolls up her sleeves and... climbs into the water! She reaches down and actually grabs a massive Basculin out, hauling it up into the air and crying out in delight,"LOOK WHAT I GOT!"

James blows a whistle and holds up a yellow card angrily, yelling at her that she has violated the rules and that a rod is mandatory. Iris looks legitimately crestfallen, she didn't know this was against the rules, she just thought she was the only one who had ever thought of this!

At the check-in hut, Cilan happily hands in his Pokéball to Jesse and looks shocked when she just drops it into a cardboard box with the others. He asks if she is going to weigh it, and she laughs that they'll do this at the end (she doesn't explain how they'll know which Pokéball belongs to which contestant), but he insists, claiming that his Basculin is a champion. Nervous, Jesse insists that he'll just have to wait for the results to be announced, then carries the box into the backroom where James and Meowth are waiting.

You know, the contest APPEARS to be official, are Team Rocket volunteers who have been left to just run things without oversight or did they somehow set this all up under their own supervision?

Jesse asks Meowth if he is sure he can get them out of there fast, and he assures them that he has it all planned out. Hopefully his plan works better than Iris', as she tromps miserably to join Ash and Bianca where Ash is fishing and Bianca is watching. Iris sighs she'll have to use a rod after all and makes her cast, and Bianca decides to finally join in and makes a cast herself... and instantly gets a bite! Iris is shocked, how did she do it so quickly? Bianca happily admits she hasn't got a fucking clue but it's a big one! So big in fact that it begins to haul her towards the water, and Ash and Iris have to grab her to anchor her in place - Ash apparently getting a handful of boob in the process. Cilan spots the three-way clinch and rushes to get in on the action himself - not for the handful of tits but that sweet, sweet fishing action. He grabs the rod and warns Bianca not to reel it in too quickly, she has to feel it move!"

"Uhhhh, okay," says Bianca, still utterly confused, and then the water Pokémon is pulled clear and.... it's a Frillish! A pink one, the same we saw at the start of the episode. It hovers happily in the air and looks directly at Ash and then.... Ash gets groped himself!



Scandalous!

Pikachu has been knocked clear and looks up at Ash getting fondled, while Bianca looks it up in her Pokédex and learns that they bind their opponents and slowly poison them. Only it doesn't look like this one is poisoning so much as it is getting its rocks off, gasping with innocently perverse delight as it gropes and fondles and clutches him tighter and tighter. The others try to pull Ash clear and Cilan and Iris get hauled into its embrace as well, demanding to be let go (Iris insisting it let her go before Cilan), and Ash yells at Pikachu that it MUST Thundershock them to get them clear. Pikachu seems a little unsure about this but the others insist, so it zaps the hell out of them and Frillish leaps into the water in a panic, leaving them gasping and trying to recover from their choking/quasi-rape.

The other contestants gather around, while up the stairs leading down to their pier, Meowth is a bit concerned at first, then delighted to see it was the twerps getting attacked. He rushes in to tell Jesse and James what happened, and they pick that now is a good time to get the hell out of there - a good plan! They rush outside and discover Meowth's escape plan, a boat! (that's another good plan!). But as they approach it... it begins to sail away by itself! Meowth didn't drop anchor? But then they spot the culprit, Frillish appears to be dryhumping the corner of the boat, sending it down the canal. They roar at it that it can't get away in their getaway boat.... and then turn to see the twerps and other contestants all standing up on the stairs staring down at them. They ask what is going on and Team Rocket frantically laugh and assure them that nothing is wrong... which is when everyone spots the bulging bags of Pokéballs!



They want to know what is going on, and Jesse decides that the jig is up so it is time to reveal their plan, and James tells them they planned to pilfer the Pokémon all along.

"Who are those strange people?" asks Bianca.
"You're strange indeed!" mocks Jesse.
"We'll answer you as we feel the need!" says James, and then as Team Rocket must, they rip their clothes off.
"We bring! The white light of evil into the future!"
"We thrust! The hammer of justice on the black universe!"
"While we carve our names, in da rock of eternity!"
"The fiery destroyer, Jesse!"
"And with thunderous emotion, James!"
"Wisest of da wise!" cries Meowth, and then with almost a giggle,"Meowth!"
"And now gather!" they cry together,"Under the name of Team Rocket!"

Finishing their motto, they proclaim that they plan to steal Pokémon from the Unova region to give to their Boss, and then use those Pokémon to conquer that region. Ash states the obvious by yelling that they're Team Rocket (well done, Ash!) and then Bianca out-Ash's Ash by slapping her hands together in delight and gasping that she gets it, they're a team of rocket scientists!

Oh Bianca.

As Ash sweatdrops and explains what is going on with Team Rocket, James asks Jesse if she wants to catch Pikachu too. Surprisingly she says no, catching Pikachu isn't on their to-do list so they won't bother.

It took them 15 years to learn this!

They call out Yamask and Woobat to cover their escape, but a furious Cilan roars that it is time that they felt HIS Hammer of Justice! (snicker) He calls out Pansage, and together it and Pikachu attack the surprisingly resilient Yamask and Woobat, slowly getting the advantage. But as they fight, Team Rocket realise something has gone horribly wrong... the Fishing Pokéballs are all floating open and empty in the water!

Jesse thinks they've escaped, but the truth is far stranger - a still closed Pokéball is suddenly opened by pink tentacles, it's Frillish releasing the captured Pokémon. Cilan spots what he is sure is his Basculin leaping through the air, and Bianca proclaims it is HER Frillish, and they figure it can't be a baddie since it rescued its buddies.... which shouldn't forgive it from sexually molesting Ash earlier but apparently it does, as Ash sighs and mutters that he wishes he could figure this out.

Team Rocket are furious, but they also know when their plans are ruined. With a covering Haze from Yamask, they run back into the shed, strap on their jetpacks (they left them behind despite going for the boat earlier?) and take off into the air, warning the twerps that they will get his Pikachu one day (they didn't want to TODAY!). They head away, Ash again stating the obvious by snapping that they got away in their rocket jetpacks, which causes Bianca to gasp,"Then they really ARE rocket scientists!"

Oh Bianca.

Iris looks around for Cilan and finds him rifling through the remains of the shed for the golden super rod, which he clearly thinks is HIS by virtue of the Basculin he caught. He pulls out two pieces of it, then looks crestfallen as he realises that like the rest of the contest, it was a sham - the rod was just an old wooden one painted gold.

A short time later they stand on the street with Bianca, bemoaning that the Contest was called off due to Team Rocket.... so wait, WAS it an official contest or not? Because Team Rocket seemed to be in charge of every aspect of it! Regardless, they catch up on where they're off to next. Ash tells Bianca they're heading for Nimbasa and she gasps that she has to get caught up to him, and speed-waddles away, turning to wave a happy goodbye before disappearing into the distance. And so we leave the mysterious unnamed city and the continuity issues and real life disturbances behind.... for now at least!

BEST QUOTES

"My first time!" "You're Team Rocket? I GET IT! You're obviously a team of rocket scientists!" "It's time you felt MY Hammer of Justice!" "They got away with their rocket jetpacks!" "So they really ARE rocket scientists!"

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